The slave
Chapter 10- The Illumination
A few minutes after the nurse and the doctor went out, Esperanza came into the room and I thought I still had a chance of staying alive. She sat in the bed next to me, looked at me with compassion for a moment, caressed my hair like she usually did and said:
"Hi, I came to say good bye."
"Say good bye? Do you know what's happening?" I asked her in my mind
"My job here with you is over."
"Wait, don't go," I imagined to reply to her, "turn to the control panel! Turn on the switch!"
"Speaking of which…" she smiled doubting of going forward with what she wanted to say and then continued, "the egg began to crack today at about ten o' clock P.M, they expect the baby will hatch in six more hours. All your family is watching it no, that's why they didn't come to see you tonight."
"With more reason! Turn on the switch! ... Turn on the switch! ... Turn on the switch! ..." I yelled in my mind as if wanting to use telepathy.
"There's nothing else I can do for you. Now, I must go with someone else who needs me. I hope my presence was useful to you."
"It was very useful, Esperanza," I said now resigned, "thanks to you and your cares I resisted the first months here. I have learned from you what is to love unconditionally and give yourself to the care of others without expecting something in change. Thanks a lot."
"If only I could have done more, but…" she remained thoughtful for a few moments, lowered her head and drying a tear that rolled down her cheek continued, "everything's fine, you will see. It's time for me to go." She kissed me in the forehead and went out of the room without turning to look at me.
"Good bye, Esperanza, thanks for everything…"
Well, then the uncertainty is over, I had six hours of life left and my try to meet my baby had been frustrated already. I consciously to get angry with those two Koopas that were spoiling my plans but I couldn't. no matter that they were moved in part by greed, the result, if they managed to use my lungs to save that woman they talked about, it would be positive. This could be my last good action and though I hadn't intervened directly, I would help someone to keep living this wonderful life with a part of my body.
How ironic! My baby in other part of this hospital waits for its turn to love and I wait here my turn to cease existing. As if there was a special connection between him and me.
"There's a special connection between your baby and you!" my Guide commented, "not only between you two, but with all living beings, with all species and everything that exists."
"Of course, we all are part of the universe."
"You're not part of the universe, YOU are the universe, you are life itself,"
"That I'm life? That's very deep," I commented, "I think the six hours left won't be enough for you to explain it to me,"
"I'm not going to explain your considering the circumstances, I'll allow myself to cheat and show you something that few living beings are capable of living in their whole life. Faint…"
"What? How do I-?" I didn't finish the question. When I realized I was no longer in the hospital room or inside my body. It was like having one of those dreams where everything is possible, where you realize you are dreaming and you know what's happening without the need to see nor hear it.
"This is the Illumination," he said, "this is what the sages look for and what the gurus and masters want to reach. This is what it takes years and years of deep meditation.
"What place is this? It's Heaven?"
"It's not a place, it's a feeling. Here Space and Time do not exist like you've known them."
"But…?"
"Sh-hh! Turn off those thoughts already and allow yourself to feel…"
I totally abandoned myself to the experience and in mere seconds I could understand the great gift that my Guide had given me: "The Illumination" like he called it is a wonderful feeling of being part of the universe and at the same time being the very universe. It's to feel a connection with all human beings, with all living beings and with everything that exists. It's to lose completely the fear to loneliness and realize that life takes care of all of us like it does with everything that exists. It's to know that everything's fine in our lives and that we are part of something great, part of a beautiful and complicated design.
"It's time for you to come back," I could barely hear the voice of my Guide that asked me to wake up from this beautiful dream.
Once again I felt my body and despite the terrible tiredness, I kept the sensation of good that the experience provoked me.
"That was wonderful!" I expressed excitedly in my mind, "I'm part of everything! I'm as important as the stars, as the sun, as everything that exists!"
"We all are and that's not only mystic or spiritual wordplay, it's a real and provable fact," my Guide replied and then continued, "you were created by a cell of your father and one from your mother. And that pair of cells carry the genetic information of those who were your ancestors. That's how you're connected with all humanity because, literally, we're all parents."
"But… not only I felt connected with human beings but also with everything that exists," I commented intrigued
"When you were conceived in your mother's womb, after she layed your egg with your embryo inside: the embryo had all the necessary information to create every part of your body. There was a perfect plan to form you just like you are now. Even the smallest detail was foresighted: the color of your eyes, of your hair and skin, the shape of your mouth, your fangs, your scales, your shell and exactly where those would grow. It's a true miracle! Now, your egg took the prime matter to form you of everything that surrounded it: the heat it absorbed, the air it filtered and the warmth of your parents' body. And there you were taking parts of the VERY universe. An apple that once was part of an animal and before that it was an insect and much before it had been the petal of a rose; it was used to form your heart. The water that once was in a river and other times, an iceberg in the North Pole and then became a cloud and rain; it was used to create the blood that runs through your veins. And the minerals that once were a mountain and much before part of a far away star were used to form your bones. When you die and your body disintegrates, the particles that form it will be the prime matter that the universe will use to keep renovating
"That's why you say that I am life itself?"
"Exactly, through you, life keeps going and renovates. You were the instrument that the life used to create other wonderful being and full of possibilities: the baby that is waiting to be born a few meters from here. That new being comes to give the world something very special, something only he can give it, a wonderful gift to the whole world."
"You mean that my baby will be special? That my purpose in life was to bring him into the world?"
"He's as special as you and all living beings are. The gift he comes to give to the world is his own individuality. Because despite being part of all that exists he will also be unique. That baby comes to share his thoughts, his ideas, his way of being, his emotions, his joys and his sorrows. That's the purpose of our life. Give the world what we know that only WE can give it."
"Being ourselves, that's the meaning of our life!" I interrupted him
"Being what we are and enjoy of this unique chance to exist. Before being born you were part of eternity and, when you die, you will return to it. You have been given a small lapse to be yourself and you can take advantage of it.