Disclaimer:: Glee is not mine.

~.~.~

I love you.

Kurt's enamored, besotted, infatuated, and all of the above. He loves Finn; he would die for Finn, because Finn is the one thing that's made all the torture he goes through totally worth it.

I love you.

Kurt doesn't care how many times people call him a fag, or a queer, or a homo, or any of those things. He doesn't care how many threatening notes he gets, or anonymous calls he receives, or how much sexual harassment he has to suck it up and deal with, because he had sex with Finn Hudson.

I love you.

Kurt wants to tell Finn, he really does. Because he needs the closure of saying it aloud, because if he says it, then it will finally be cemented. But he hadn't even been able to bring himself to tell Finn's sleeping form, and he doubts he'll be able to tell Finn when the Frankenteen is awake and able to comprehend it.

I love you.

Kurt can't tell Finn. Finn's screwed up enough right now the way it is, and he really doesn't need Kurt adding the stress of the L-word.

I love you.

Kurt would rather kill himself than hurt Finn more than he already is, even if Kurt really, desperately needs his own solace right about now. Even if Kurt really, desperately needs to say the words that will make him feel less…dirty.

I love you.

Because if Kurt loves Finn, then the actions of the night prior can be excused. And Kurt won't be such a masochist.

-.-

I love you.

Finn can see it in Kurt's pretty teal eyes. He can see the way that Kurt stiffens up whenever Finn comes into the room, and he can hear the change in Kurt's voice when he's talking to him.

I love you.

Finn thought that after he called Kurt a fag, Kurt would stop with the crush and move onto greener, gayer pastures. Except Kurt clearly hasn't; Kurt hasn't expressed any interest at all in that Blaine guy who's always throwing himself at Kurt. (Although Mercedes keeps arguing otherwise, which annoys Finn immensely since he knows what he sees, and he sees that Blaine's not Kurt's type.)

I love you.

Finn wants to scream at Kurt, he wants to call him a fag and a cheap whore and so many other things. Not because he believes them, but just because he's angry because Kurt still loves him, and he shouldn't and it makes things so much harder.

I love you.

Finn shouldn't have taken Kurt's virginity. He knows that. He knew that. But he did it anyway. Maybe he thought that if he loved him and left him, then Kurt would have been so hurt that he had no choice to move on. Finn really doesn't know – although he is pretty sure that he wasn't thinking clearly enough to come up with that kind of plan last night.

I love you.

Finn's in love with Rachel. He knows that, too. He thinks it's kind of funny, the way that he's only had sex with people that were easy and that meant nothing to him. And then he thinks he's kind of a dick again, because fuck. He just admitted that Kurt doesn't mean anything to him.

I love you.

Except Rachel doesn't love Finn, and Kurt does. And it's really nice, that feeling that someone cares about you and would do anything for you no matter how much of an asshole you are. And it sorta feels nice, knowing that at least one of the people Finn's had sex with actually had feelings for him.