PandaFlower: so after updating A Wolf in Black and Silver I got bored. So Hiroko and I are collaborating on these for-the-hell-of-it drabbles/oneshots.
HirokoHana: Kill. Me. Now.
PandaFlower: Seriously, you act like it's the end of the world!
HirokoHana: No I am not! If the world ended I would be having fun, since I am not the end has not come.
PandaFlower: Whatever. Consider this disclaimed.
Outrageous Truths and Lies.
Lenalee sighed, for not only is her brother bored, but Reever had been distracted long enough for her brother to do something about other than paperwork.
Because Lavi had helped.
The result was that Kanda had been knocked out, tied to a chair, and completely dosed with a potion her brother was now trying to explain.
"Don't worry, this is actually very harmless. I call the Outrageous Lie Potion; it causes one to spew out unbelievable falsehoods," Komui grinned victoriously, "We will get a very good laugh out of Mr. Icicle here spewing nonsense!"
"But what about Kanda's healing factor, that won't affect it, will it?" Lavi asked, poking Kanda's side.
"Hm, don't know, don't care," and Komui dismissed it just like that.
A rather pathetic groan signaled that 'Mr. Icicle' had woken up; he shook his head to try to clear the fog. He paused when his foggy brain registered the three tense individuals standing several feet away from him. Then he registered the odd tingling in the back of his throat, almost like something was trying to get out.
He opened his mouth to cough but all that came out was… "I love cats!" in the most obnoxious cheery tone, like the kind Kanda despised.
The three fell apart laughing, even Lenalee admitted that – while cruel – it was still hilarious.
"Ohmygod! The Outrageous Lie Potion works!" Lavi clutched his side; that made Kanda frown mentally, even though outwardly he grinned like a total airhead.
'But that was the truth why would they… they screwed up the potion! Well might as well give'em what they asked for, che.'
"Once I tried to create a Free Hug day but nobody took the flyer seriously," Kanda pouted when raucous laughter ensued.
And so it went.
"Despite what I tell Tiedoll, I do sketch on a regular basis."
Laughter.
"Once, I had an insatiable sweet tooth and gorged myself on lollipops!"
Laughter.
"I died Marie's topknot pink but he blamed it Daisya, I sulked for days about being underappreciated."
They choked, they laughed so hard.
"I think cheese is disgusting and should be eradicated from the face of the earth!"
Rolling on floor, laughing out loud.
"I fuck Allen Walker into my bed every night and have done since two months ago."
Stunned silence.
"Um, Yu-chan…?" give thanks for Lavi the Bold… or curious.
Kanda nodded furiously, looking comically serious, "I do, I do! I just love the little sounds he makes when I twist in him just right… sort of a cross between a whimper and a moan."
"K-Kanda really—" oh the intense blushing, how could this have backfired so inappropriately?
"And I can't stop fantasizing when I meditate. I've been thinking about trying out the ice kink. That'll be hilarious! I'll slide an ice-cube up his ass and no matter how much he glares and protests the Moyashi'll still moan and writhe."
Just then said Moyashi walked into the room, blinking stupidly at the blushing, embarrassed trio sprawled across the floor and a samurai tied to chair and looking drugged out of his mind.
Kanda twisted around to smile at him, "There you are Moyashi-pon~ I was just telling these idiots how much I love sucking yo-mnphf!" Faster than thought Allen clamped a hand around Kanda's mouth to prevent the spillage of too much unnecessary knowledge.
"What did you do to him?" Allen cried, tugging at the rope around Kanda's wrists.
"W-we g-gave him a p-potion that makes him spout nonsense a-and it was f-funny until it got sexual," Komui stuttered, the poor guy… he was probably still a virgin.
"I didn't think it would go that far," Lenalee looked suitably repentant.
And then Reever burst into the room, "KOMUI! WHERE DID THE OUTRAGEOUS TRUTH POTION GO? WE GOTTA FIND IT BEFORE SOMEONE EMBARRASSES THEMSELVES AND… why are you giving me weird looks?"
PandaFlower: HAHAHA OMG THAT WAS FUN!
HirokoHana: can you imagine the looks on their faces when they realized everything was true?
PandaFlower: read and review!