Thursday, right after the teacher had listed of their partners:

"O-oh, boy howdy.."

Butters was sitting at his desk, staring down at it, while he twiddled his thumbs. After a certain amount of time passed—every ten seconds, periodically, Eric noted—the blond would look up to stare at his new partner—Tweek Tweak.

Tweek himself was fidgeting, though it was more twitchy than Butters' movements. The green-eyed blond—Butters' eyes were blue, which Eric had noticed years ago; Eric usually didn't bother to remember such insignificant things as someone's eye color, but as much as Butters hung around him, there would be something wrong with him if he didn't remember that the kid had soft, blue eyes—kept moving his neck in a way that would cause anyone else's—anyone normal anyway, and Tweek Tweek was not normal—neck to break. The kid did it so much though that no one even paid attention anymore. The same could have also been said about the scream of "Oh, sweet Jesus!" that had filled the room when their teacher—Eric couldn't bother to remember the bitch's name—had announced that he would be partners with Butters.

Really, Eric didn't see why Tweek was being such a pussy about Butters being his new partner. Sure, the kid was annoying as fuck most of the time. Sure, if Butters thought that you liked him, he would cling to you like a life-line. Sure, the kid's parents were freaks. Other than that though, Tweek was lucky—Butters wouldn't dick around with him like almost all of the kids in class did, and the blue-eyed boy usually did what he was told without question. The perfect partner, really, if one ignored all of Butters' irritating habits, and if they finished their project at school—which Eric doubted they would—then Tweek wouldn't have to put up with the kid's relatives. Tweek didn't have a right to complain about his partner, it seemed.

Eric, on the other hand though...

Clyde Donovan. Clyde-Fucking-Donovan. The biggest retard at South Park High.

Well, no, that wasn't right—Clyde was the school's second biggest retard; after looking the class over, his chestnut eyes inspecting each and every new partnership, Eric concluded that their teacher, Mrs. Whogivesafuck, had to fill the number one position. She probably thought that she had been helping all of them by expanding their social circles or some shit, but she was wrong. They all knew each other already—they had grown up with each other, after all—and working together on a fucking PowerPoint project—a project that was ensured to fail as soon as she closed her eyes, which Eric was sure she had done, and picked their partners—wasn't going to cause them to grow closer or branch out.

Or maybe she wasn't completely retarded. Maybe she was just sadistic; none of the people that she paired up usually spoke to each other, and if they did, then they didn't get along, and Eric would laugh at his classmates if he wasn't in the same boat that they were in—if he wasn't stuck with Clyde-fucking-Donovan. Hell, he might still laugh—Butters was clearly outside of his comfort zone, and it was hilarious. He might just like this teacher yet.

Or, a third and less likely reason, she wanted them all to fail; not to be sadistic, but so they'd all fail her class and she would get them again the next term. A teacher that actually liked her class? And at this school? Yeah. Right. That'll happen around the same time that Craig stops flipping people off and Wendy admits that her and Bebe have totally hooked up.

It was more than likely the first option, though Eric would much rather it be the second one. It wasn't all bad though; it could be worse. He could have Damien as a partner; the kid was s psycho and a freak—he was currently molesting the town's resident fag, Pip Pirrup. Pip would also make a worse partner than Clyde. And so would Craig; that asshole just pissed Eric off, and though Clyde did as well, he wasn't as bad as Craig. He could have Tweek as a partner, which would mean that he would have to put up with constant screaming. Or, worse than any of them put together, he could have been paired up with Kyle, the no good Jew-Rat. Yes, he would count his lucky stars that he was put with Clyde. The kid was a retard, yes, and he was stubborn and irritating at times, but at least he wasn't a Jew.

Besides, Clyde was way hotter than Kyle.

Speaking of having Tweek as a partner though...

"Hey, Butters, shouldn't you be going over to your new partner now? He looks real lonely."

The blond didn't, of course; he looked like he would be perfectly fine to be left alone for the remainder of his life. But Butters was fine in small doses—he was usually Eric's second choice of a partner, the first being Kenny—as any minion was, but he had been sitting there fidgeting for too long; it was beginning to irritate the heavier boy, and he wanted rid of him. Besides, Butters would only be a distraction, and he wanted to hurry and finish his work.

And if he got a little time in to stare at Clyde's sweet ass, well, that was all good, too.

"R-Really? Y-you really thi-think so, E-Eric? Well, g-golly! I guess I should t-try to go cheer him up then."

And just like that, Butters was gone, probably in the hopes that he would be able to make a new friend; the kid took any chance that he got, after all. Eric could see them—hear them, even—all the way across the room.

He could see Butters drop his materials for class—after all these years, the boy still collected Hello Kitty folders and note books—onto Tweek's desk. Tweek, not noticing Butters making his way over to him, screamed in shock and fear. Butters, worried that he had dropped his books onto Tweek's hands, took them into his own to inspect them. Apparently seeing something that he took as an injury from his books landing on his new partner's hands—they were actually just cut marks from a piece of glass that had shattered when he had jerked and knocked a plate onto the floor the night before, though Eric didn't know that particular piece of information, and he didn't care to know—he brought them to his lips, Tweek jerking and screaming the whole time while Butters shushed him, and pressed a kiss to them.

Really, it was a total fag-fest.

Tweek's face was flushed; Eric could see the red spreading over his cheeks even though they were desks apart. He could also hear Tweek's panicked "W-what are you doing? Gah!" and Butters' reply of "W-well, tryin' to make you f-feel better, silly."

It would probably be pretty funny if the whole thing wasn't so gay.

And, speaking of gay, Clyde was walking across the room to sit by him. Being the uncoordinated retard that he is, however, he dropped his pencil on the way over to Eric's seat—it had probably took the whole five minutes that had passed since their teacher had listed off that they were partners for Clyde to realize that Eric wasn't going to be the one to move—instead of holding onto it for the whole ten steps that it would take to walk across the room. Eric's eyes followed it as it rolled behind the Donovan boy, but he quickly moved them back up to watch as Clyde's ass as he bent over to retrieve it.

Maybe he would learn to like their teacher after all.

...

A/N: Okay, I wrote this chapter because I said that there would be Butters/Tweek, and I would feel like a douche if I didn't add it in after saying that. Also, because...Well, Clyde/Cartman is just hot.

And, as a side note, I feel that I should say that no, I don't think that people who can't hold pencils are retards. I'm pretty uncoordinated—I either fall over or run into someone five days out of seven in a week, and I'm not exaggerating—so no, I don't hold that opinion. Cartman, on the other hand, does.

And thank everyone for reading and reviewing. I hope that the focus on the different characters in this chapter didn't throw you off any.