I suck. I'm sorry for not updating in over three years or so… Life has been busy (for real). But I've been wanting to update, for a very long time, I loved this story… so maybe I might start updating more often…

I hope you guys still want to read it!

Here it goes…

Previously…

Brooke grabbed her purse and walked to the pier. When she got there Lucas was sitting on the bench waiting for her… He got up when she noticed she was coming.

"Hey, so… you wanted to see me" she said and smiled a little…

"Yeah, I think we need to talk" He said while playing with something inside his jacket's pocket…

"Just Not You"

Brooke nodded, she was somewhat nervous about the whole thing. She wasn't exactly sure what he wanted to talk about. What if he'd read the letter and regret doing it, things in the past were so different from what they are now… right?

"Lucas…" She started, but was interrupted by Lucas' voice, which sounded very calm and passive.

"Wait… just let me talk" He said, taking his hand off his pocket and revealing the letter.

"Sorry… go ahead" Brooke took a sit on the bench, and Lucas followed. It was very hard for her to look into his eyes, mostly because she was afraid, of what it might happen, or what she might feel.

Brooke saw the letter; it was still closed, so he hadn't read it yet. What was he waiting? If it was the other way around, she would have read that letter the second Haley had given it to her.

"First of all, I want you to know, that if I had known then that you'd tried to reach me, things would have been so much different" he said.

"Lucas, let's not concentrate on the 'what ifs', I wrote that letter a long time ago" She was nervous and he could tell. Lucas could still read her so well.

"I know, believe, I know… It's just that, I never read it, I never knew it even existed" he protested.

"I know, Haley told me she had it, and it was probably for the best, right? I mean, look at our lives now; we are both back in track… " She took a pause, to breathe and continued "but you still haven't read it?"

"No" He looked down concentrating on the words written on the envelope. For a second lost in his own thoughts, wondering what the smell of it would have been by then, if it might had smell of Brooke. He shook lightly his head, going back o what he wanted to say. "I haven't, I wasn't sure if I still could, I mean… before I read it, I need to know if it's content is going to change how things are"

"What do you mean change how things are, Lucas?"

"I mean... are you happy? Is your life what you thought it would be? I have to know that, before I do something stupid" he said, Brooke was feeling some desperation in his voice, and that just desperate her.

"Something stupid, like what? Reading the letter? I am happy, Lucas, and my life is what I thought … what I wished it would be, I have my own clothing line, I am successful, and I love it!"

"I'm not talking about work, here Brooke… The other day, you said you weren't happy, what did you mean? Were you talking about that, or about Dav… "

"What does it matter, Luke? We'd both moved on, haven't we? All this time apart, we were supposed to grow, and we did, we grew apart… " Brooke interrupted; she wasn't really in the mood for discussing this.

"I lied" He said quietly "when I told you I was dating… I'm not; truth is I haven't been on a real… or decent date in these past 5 years… And I'm sure they were all very nice girls, the fault is mine, for thinking about the what ifs… what if I called you, or what if I went to Rome to find you… I was constantly thinking of you…"

"Lucas…"

"Brooke, I live with my brother and my sister in law, ever since we moved to New York… I haven't grown up…"

"I don't understand why you are telling me this now"

"I don't know… maybe because I wanna know what's going through your head? Seeing me now after five years? How do you feel? Because, I'm stuck, ok? And in all this years, I didn't want to move on… I didn't wanna give up hope" He took a deep breath. This was unreal, he was blurting it all out now after all these time of holding everything up inside. "Would you do something for me?" He asked and Brooke just stared at him, letting him now with her eyes that she'd do anything for him.

"Yeah…" She nodded.

"Are you happy with David?" This was a question he always wanted to ask her, was she happy with the life she had.

"Lucas…"

"Honestly Brooke, cause if you are… then it means that I'm going to have to move on, and not be bitter about it"

"David is a wonderful man, he loves me… and he knows me better than I will ever know myself… And I…" Brooke made a pause and looked into Lucas' eyes, they were teary, and now she broke... "I…"

"You… what?" he tried helping her let it all out, he moved his hand trying to reach hers, but the second she felt his skin on hers, she stood up from the bench.

"I'm so ungrateful, I shouldn't have come" She turned to leave, but Lucas stopped her.

"He wants to spend the rest of his life with you" He told her… "He's got a ring"

This took Brooke by surprise, of course she always knew David wanted to marry her, but she never thought the day would actually come. She'd been trying to postpone it ever since it started to be a recurrent theme in David's conversations. It wasn't that she didn't want to marry him, but the idea of spending the rest of her life with someone who wasn't Lucas, she'd never really thought about that.

When they were younger and dating they used to talk about it all the time, how both of them wanted a stable family, with three or four kids running around the house, while Brooke cooked, or attempted to, and Lucas helped her by setting the table, or all the family trips they would take.

But she never talked about it with David; she didn't even know if he wanted children. He was always so busy working, and to her it was unthinkable of fitting David in the position of the father she always wanted for her kids. When they talked about the future, he'd never mentioned it, and truth was Brooke never did either, not to him.

She was so nervous when he reveled this that with a clumsy move all the things inside her purse fell onto the floor… She kneeled to pick them up, and Lucas did the same, but instead he just looked at her.

"How do you know?" she asked in a low voice, not lifting her head.

"That guy is crazy about you, Brooke" He said now picking her red lipstick at the same time she did, but this time he held her hand strongly so she wouldn't take it.
Brooke looked at him, she was a mess, and her makeup wasn't so waterproof after all. With his free hand he sweetly pulled her stranded hair out of her face. "And I'm…"

"He's just not you, Lucas" Brooke said, and froze. Meaning David could never be compared to him. How could she be so stupid to say that, it was what she thought, but she shouldn't have revealed this much to him. She shut her eyes, not believing what was happening. Lucas smiled.

"Well that's good, cause I was about to say that I'm crazy about you, too" He caressed her cheek and then help her stand up. Their hands were still together.

"Brooke, if you think we could ever…" Brooke surprised him with a kiss, it was soft and tender, yet full of passion, it was the first time in five years they kissed. Brooke slowly moved her hand around his neck while his moved to her lower back. The fitted so perfectly.

They were both lost on each other, but Brooke realized what she was doing, who she had waiting at the house. She opened her eyes and pulled apart, covering her mouth with her hand.

"I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry" She took a few steps back, and Lucas forward, trying to stop her from leaving. "I'm sorry, Lucas. David is waiting for me" she said, even though she was sure David wasn't home, and if he was maybe he was busy on the phone or the computer working.

"Brooke, don't go… what am I supposed to do now?" he asked her, knowing this time it could be finally over…

"I'm sorry, Lucas. I need some time… just give me some time" she said and with that she was gone.

Lucas stayed there until she was out of his sight, trying to process everything that had just happened.

I honestly can't say when I'll be updating again, but I hope it's soon! I already know how this story is going to continue and end…

I hope you are still there.

=)