Title: I Believe My Heart.
Rating: M
Spoiler: The story starts after Fran and Jocelyn's talk in the episode 'The Wedding'. All the characters are in the story, but it will mostly be a Niles and CC fic. That's all I'm saying about this story - I don't intend to give anything away. :-D
Disclaimer: I don't own anything from The Nanny.
Chapter 1
Maxwell sat on a chair in the hallway waiting until it was time to get married. He had stepped out of the room he'd gotten ready in, to have a few moments alone before walking down the aisle. He closed his eyes and sighed contently, thinking of how much he was looking forward to marrying Fran. However, his thoughts were soon interrupted.
"Oh boy, am I glad I made it in time. Can you imagine me, the bride, ending up being this late for my own wedding? Or worse, almost not showing up at all?"
Maxwell stood up immediately at CC's words and stared wide eyed at her.
"Uh…um….CC, I….well I…uh….um…"
Niles, who had been on his way to get Maxwell, hid behind a curtain as soon as he saw, CC approaching. He rolled his eyes and shook his head at Maxwell's loss for words, and at CC's constant attempt at getting Maxwell to fall for her. He was just about to make his presence known, when he heard CC laugh and see her swat Maxwell lightly on the arm.
"Oh relax, Maxwell. I'm just teasing you. I've had a lot of time to think while I was at…The Place…and I've come to realize quite a few things. One of them is that you love Fran." She gave him a sincere warm smile. "I'm honestly very happy that you've found love again, and I'm very happy for you and Fran. I wish you both a long life of love and happiness." Maxwell gave her a warm smile in return.
"Thank you, CC."
"I also want you to know that I'm never again going to throw myself at you, and I'm sorry that I ever did. I'm actually quite embarrassed about my behavior. I've come to realize that I've never loved you but only believed I did, because you looked good on paper. Although my mother was never much involved in my life, as you know, I've always had this insane idea that I should be with someone, who was important in society, rich, and of the same social class as me. I've come to realize that I've been trying to seek her approval. I thought that if I got that, she'd pay attention to me."
Maxwell gave her arm a squeeze and gave her a sympathetic smile.
"I'm so sorry, CC." She shook her head and chuckled slightly.
"Thank you, but don't be. I have no idea why I would want her approval or for her to give me attention, when I've spent most of my life not giving a damn about her. And I still don't give a damn about her."
Behind the curtain Niles gaped at CC's confession. He'd always hoped that she'd give up her obsession with Maxwell. And not only was he shocked that she'd done that, but also that she'd admitted that she'd never had real feelings for him.
"I know that you haven't had an easy upbringing and haven't had much influence from either parent, so I can understand why you believed you needed approval." She nodded and Maxwell's words.
"Yeah. That's also why I've never been good at relationships. And why I thought we'd be a good match. We knew each other and shared some of the same interests, but beyond that we're quite different. We actually have very little in common, and I've come to realize that we're definitely not right for each other. To be honest, you're far too boring for my taste."
Niles had to put a hand over his mouth to prevent himself from laughing out loud at CC's comment, and from seeing the expression on Maxwell's face.
Maxwell on the other hand gaped and stared wide eyed at her.
"CC, that's a horrible thing to say!" She rolled her eyes at him.
"Oh for crying out loud, Maxwell! It's your wedding day. Nothing anyone says or does should be able to ruin this day for you." Maxwell pouted slightly feeling a bit offended.
"Yes, well still you could be nicer to me."
"I am being extremely nice to you. I've just admitted that I've never loved you, that I have no intention of ever throwing myself at you again, and that I'm happy for you and Fran. Surely you can be happy about that, and be happy for me that I've finally come to that realization?"
He thought about what she'd said and realized she was right. He nodded and smiled at her again.
"Yes, I'm happy about that. And I'm very happy for you that you've realized that. I hope you'll find the same happiness and love with someone that I've found with Fran." She sighed and smiled a little sadly.
"I hope so too. But as I said, I've never been good at relationships, and I doubt I ever will be. Besides, I'm not exactly a very nice, caring, and loving person. I can't imagine that anyone would want to be with someone like me." Maxwell nudged her arm and grinned a little.
"Well, you can always give it a shot at the reception, eh? There'll be plenty of single guys there."
Niles rolled his eyes and shook his head once again, but this time it was because of Maxwell's comment. He groaned silently at how inconsiderate Maxwell was. What appeared to be so obvious to him, but was apparently lost on Maxwell, was how sad CC had looked when she'd said how little she thought of herself, and that she thought no one would want her. Had he been standing next to Maxwell, he'd had slapped him for not contradicting CC and saying something nice to her. However, had that happened Niles knew that it would probably have raised some questions. One would probably be why he all of a sudden defended CC.
He looked back at them from his hiding place. His heart ached for her, and he felt sad from seeing her sad. If only she knew how special and beautiful she really was. He wanted nothing more than to tell her and convince her of that. To tell her how much he loved her, and how much he'd always loved her. How much he wanted and desired her. But he knew that she'd never feel the same about him, and so he'd always kept his feelings secret, and hurt along with her from afar whenever she'd hurt.
Taking a look at his watch, Niles realized it was time to get Maxwell, so that the wedding could start. He took a few moments to collect himself, and then took a few steps away from the curtain, so it would appear that he hadn't been eavesdropping, before making his appearance.
"Oh, Sir, there you are. It's time." For affect and to keep up appearances, Niles pointed at CC and frowned. "Who let the dog out?" Maxwell rolled his eyes while CC gave him a slight glare.
"Alright, Niles. But before we get started, could you please escort CC to her seat?" Niles nodded and held out his hand to Maxwell.
"Certainly, Sir, but I'll need her leash first." Maxwell gave him a warning look.
"Niles." Niles put up his hands in surrender, and then held out his arm for CC to take. He smirked at her.
"Here doggie, doggie." She rolled her eyes but took his arm freely. Once she'd taken it, he patted her arm. "Good girl."
"Can it, Benson, or I'll have you fixed." This time she smirked when she saw Niles slightly gulp.
"You two better behave yourselves."
"Of course, Maxwell."
"Certainly, Sir."
As Niles walked CC down the aisle to her seat, he couldn't help but imagine that this was his wedding and that he was walking down the aisle with his bride. He imagined that all the guests were there for them, and as he was lost in thought a happy and goofy grin spread across his face, which he took no notice of. However, CC did.
"What's with the goofy grin?" When he didn't respond in any way, she nudged him. "Hey Merry Maid! Why so extra merry?" He finally looked at her but with a confused expression on his face.
"Huh?"
"You've got this goofy grin all over your face like you're lost in your own little happy dream world. I was just curious as to what got you smiling like that."
Realizing he hadn't been subtle about his thoughts and that she'd noticed, he quickly shrugged and came up with an excuse.
"My two best friends are finally getting married. I'm just extremely happy about that."
"Well with that goofy grin on your face, you'd think that you're the one getting married."
Niles swallowed hard not knowing he'd been that obvious. However, all he could think of doing was to try to make her believe that he was just happy for Maxwell and Fran.
"I've been waiting a long time for this, so you can't really blame me for being happy." She smirked at him.
"No, I do realize that in your miserable little excuse for an existence, you have to be happy for other people's happiness when you have none yourself. Always a best man, but never a man." She laughed and he smirked back at her.
"Unfortunately, you can't say the same since you know perfectly well what being a man is like." She groaned slightly and Niles knew that she wouldn't again mention his goofy grin.
They reached her seat and like a gentleman he held her hand as she sat down. He was just about to leave when her hand on his arm stopped him. He looked back at her and saw her half smiling and half smirking at him.
"Thanks, Butler Boy." He gave her his lopsided grin.
"No problem, Babs. Talk to you later." She nodded and he left.
A few moments later CC along with all the other guests watched as Gracie, Maggie, Brighton, Val, Niles, and lastly Maxwell walked down the aisle. When they'd all taken their places at the altar, everyone turned yet again to watch Fran walk down the aisle. However, she didn't show up.
The music started to play again, but still there was no show of Fran.
CC, Sylvia, Morty, and Yetta looked up at Maxwell, Niles, Val, Brighton, Maggie, and Gracie, but they all shrugged. Maxwell then walked down to where Sylvia, Morty, and Yetta were sitting and the rest gathered around them. He looked between Sylvia and Morty.
"Do either of you know what's keeping Fran?" They both shook their heads.
"No. If I hadn't taken that damn diuretic and needed to go to the bathroom right now, I would KILL HER for not showing up." Everyone stared a little wide eyed at Sylvia and watched her leave in a hurry. Morty stood up.
"Don't worry. I'm sure she'll calm down. I have a chocolate bar in my pocket. Better follow her and give it to her, so it can settle her nerves. You'll see what's keeping Frannie, right?" Maxwell nodded and they all watched Morty walk in Sylvia's direction.
Maxwell took another look at everyone gathered around him, and without saying another word he went to Fran's bridal room. Everyone else looked around at each other and then quickly followed Maxwell with the exception of Yetta.
When he stopped outside the bridal room, he heard everyone else stop right behind him. He turned around at them and gave them an annoyed look. But when they didn't budge or even take notice of it, he rolled his eyes and turned back towards the door knocking on it.
"Fran, Darling, are you alright? I don't know if you've noticed, but we're supposed to be getting married. As in right now."
"I'm too depressed."
Maxwell and everyone looked confusedly at the closed door when they heard Fran's reply.
"Why exactly are you depressed, Darling?"
"Because, Jocelyn and Lester are getting a divorce."
Maxwell turned around to look at the others to see if they had a clue as to why that would upset her, but everyone looked just as confused as he did. He then gave them all a look of desperate plea to help him out. Val nodded and was the first to step closer to the door.
"Fran, you've dreamed your whole life of getting married, and now the day is finally here. Isn't that enough to make you want to come out of there?"
"No, Val."
Val shrugged and Maggie stepped forward.
"You know, Fran, this wedding will be in the papers, and just think of all the people you know, who thought you'd never get married. They'll see the papers and be absolutely jealous."
"I don't care."
Almost everyone raised their eyes in surprise at that. Brighton then decided to have a go, and tapped Maggie on the shoulder indicating she should step aside. She did and Brighton moved closer to the door.
"Have you any idea of how many presents you're getting? I've seen a whole mountain of presents, and more than half of them are expensive too."
"Yeah, so?"
Everyone stared at the door in shock. After a few seconds Gracie nudged Brighton out of the way.
"What about the food? You decided the menu so you know what's in store. You can't possibly say no to that."
"I'm not hungry."
They all gasped at Fran's comment not believing that for the first time since knowing her, Fran wasn't hungry.
After the shock wore slightly off, Niles stepped forward to give it a go.
"You know if you don't come out of there and get married, your mother's going to come for you, and it will most likely end in her killing you."
"That's perfectly fine with me."
They all gaped and look around at each other with the exception of CC. She on the other hand rolled her eyes and groaned.
"Oh for crying out loud! I'll handle this."
She moved passed all of them, opened the door and stepped inside before anyone had time to react.
TBC