Hey, a quick question...why is the rum gone?
Hello there! Welcome to Chapter number two of No Regrets this Time Around! I hope you enjoyed the extremely long chapter one. Don't worry, this chapter will seem short by comparison. Or maybe you should worry. It depends on whether you like long chapters or not.
Same with the whole action thing; I'll probably have several more chapters like number one throughout the story, albeit with less violence. Just as action packed, though. That said, ninja do do stuff besides fighting...sometimes.
For those wanting to skip over spoilers, or who simply wouldn't have any clue what's going on without them, skip the first section when the chapter starts. From there, you should be able to read this like a normal story. At any rate, enjoy the chapter!
CHAPTER TWO
GO BACK TO START AND TRY AGAIN
-OR-
HOW TO COPE WITH THE FACT YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO COPE WITH
Over the years, the five 'last-standers' would meet and form a lot of theories on what exactly happened in that last moment of time. None were correct, but some were awfully close.
You see, Naruto's Time Seal Jutsu was an elementless one, but it relied on the powers of Light. Madara's power, of course, relied on Darkness. When the Rasenshuriken hit, it ripped open Madara's body and his chakra network, allowing the evil chakra of the Ten-Tailed Beast to seep out. And when the Dark Power impacted the Light, the Rasenshuriken mixed the two Powers together.
Darkness and Light should never mix.
The Chaos born of this mixing created a tear in the fabric of reality. This would be bad enough, but since Naruto was using a time-space jutsu, time itself was impacted, and the power of the attacks were magnified greatly. The timeline, from that point forward, was nullified entirely. And the backlash caused several years of the past to be erased.
But despite how bad it sounds, it really wasn't. Ten years is all. People would just have to restart from ten years ago. And, since none of the future had happened yet, no one would remember it, and things would go exactly the same way...
...causing an infinite loop. Hmm. Maybe it WAS as bad as it sounded.
Or, at least, it would have been, had Naruto's jutsu not been all about freezing time, the y-axis to space's x . So, yes, time was sent back ten years for them too, but it left their consciousness intact. It would have left their bodies intact, too, but those had been destroyed in the blast. So, their souls simply traveled back alone, settling into the first moment of their personal time-bubbles that still existed. So, they were transformed into their Genin-level (well, Chunin in Shikamaru's case) bodies of ten years ago.
And this, this giving knowledge to the future to five relatively unknown ninja, changed the entire world for the better.
0-0-0-0
They did not get back simultaneously, as one might well expect they would. Only two arrived on the same day. Naruto was the first. He woke up slowly and groggily to the ringing of the alarm upon his nightstand. "Ohh...my head..." he grumbled, for his head hurt. He slowly sat up and blinked, turning off the alarm by reflex.
Then he realized. "Wait, why am I in a bed and not on the battlefield?" he looked around. "Back in my old apartment?" He looked at the alarm clock his hand had just smacked. It was shaped like the third Hokage. You tapped him on the head to turn off the alarm. "With my old alarm clock of the old man?" Naruto wondered. Shrugging, he slowly and cautiously got out of the bed, subconsciously noting that it took a little longer for his feet to hit the floor than it should have. He walked to the window, opening it up.
He was shocked, in the good way. 'Surprised' would be the correct word, he supposed...but it had been so long since he'd had a positive surprise that he almost forgot the word. It was a bright, sunny day. The Village Hidden in the Leaves was not on fire, nor in ruins. It wasn't in the best shape it could possibly be, construction workers building up various projects everywhere, but it looked a lot better than it had any right to.
Naruto blinked. "Okay, what's going on here?" he confuzzeledly asked no one in particular. He shut the window again. "Was it just a dream?" he mumbled to himself. "Nah, it felt too real for that..." He walked around his room, scratching his chin.
He stopped suddenly. "I know! I'm in some kind of genjutsu!" He put his fingers together weirdly. "Release!" A level two justu-breaker. It...had no effect whatsoever. Naruto blinked again. "Well, maybe the old-fashioned way..." he said to himself, biting his thumb so hard it bled. He looked around again. "Huh...pain won't do it." He scratched his head, befuddled. "Maybe it's not a genjutsu?"
His hand came past his eyes again on its natural way down, and this time Naruto noticed. He blinked at it a couple times. Then he looked at the rest of him. Then he blinked a couple more times. -Oh, I get it...- thought Naruto, the pieces suddenly all snapping into place. Then, with a sudden laugh: "Yeah, right! That's just silly! There's no such thing as..."
Then he remembered something Shikamaru had once said to him on one of their weirder missions. "Once you've eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, is the truth."
Naruto stopped laughing at this thought and rested his hand in his chin. "...no matter how improbable, huh?" he asked himself.
After a few more moments of thought, he slowly turned and walked to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror, as if confirming that yes, he really was twelve years old again. He looked at his face, turning it this way and that, scanning every feature. He reached down and slowly lifted up his shirt. The swirl on his stomach was back, and the wound he'd received was gone.
"Wow..." he said, somewhat confused and somewhat disbelieving and mostly just stunned. "I've really...gone back in time, haven't I?"
A few more seconds of looking at himself in the mirror before leaving the bathroom and walking back to the window. He looked out it again, this time not opening it. He vaguely thought about how he needed to start washing these windows. Amazing how the mind wanders when it should be focusing, eh?
There was a lot to contemplate, so Naruto started focusing on one thing at a time, sorting his thoughts into mental piles labeled 'Good' and 'Bad'. On the good side, he wasn't dead, and neither were any of his friends...well, depending on exactly where he'd come back in time, one or two might be. Seriously, though that was an excellent plus!
As he walked over to the calender (Girl in a swimsuit. Naruto would have to get a different one; he was more mature now, even if he didn't look it.) to check the date, Naruto thought some more. On the bad side, he'd have to live through the next ten-odd years all over again. Plus side, he could avoid a lot of bad things with his knowledge of the future and replace them with good things. Negative side, he'd need to be able to convince a few key people he actually was from the future if he wanted this to work. That would be difficult and awkward.
He tripped over a pile of clothes in his wandering both physically and mentally. "GAH!" he shouted as he fell. He'd have to clean the rest of his room, too. Another bad thing about coming back to his messier days. He slowly got up, not really in any hurry. On the good side, he got to be a kid again, and have an extra bout of fun before assuming an adult's responsibilities. On the negative side, he couldn't have sake, and more importantly, he wasn't respected by the villagers as an adult yet.
Also, he'd have to go through puberty all over again. Naruto shivered at this realization. -Wasn't once bad enough?- he thought, not really expecting an answer from anybody. He didn't get one, either. He thought some more. -Man...there's a lot more that's bad about this situation than there is good. I mean, I guess quality is better than quantity, but...- And he thought some more. -I guess it's good for everyone else, though. So, I guess...I'll just have to suck it up and bear this weight.- He sighed, sitting back on his bed and forgetting for a little bit about checking his calender. After all, he was in no hurry...did he think that once already? -Not like I can do anything to change my situation...I don't even know how I got back here!- And he groaned.
Then, something very precious and good occurred to Naruto. This time around, he wouldn't have to be so oblivious to Hinata.
He grinned at this thought, instantly throwing out the entirety of the 'Good' and 'Bad' piles and setting up his new goal for life on a pedestal. -This time, I'm not gonna let Hinata be miserable!- He closed his eyes, beaming and with his arms behind his head he stood back up. -I'm gonna show her we were made for each other...and then we can get married like she wanted to!- He suddenly groaned slightly as a thought hit him: he'd have to wait a few years to get married, too. On top of Hinata not being ready mentally for such things (not remembering their being sweethearts and all), twelve-years-olds getting married was typically...frowned upon in polite society.
Now, there were cases of ninja getting married at only slightly older ages. Rare, but certainly cases. Civilians still thought this practice strange, and perhaps even morally wrong, but other ninja understood that neither of these presumptions was correct. After all: A) The two ninja getting married, even at their young age, would probably be closer to each other and more likely not to get divorced than civilians of a much older age, since not many civilians saved each other's lives on a regular basis, B) The marriage, despite being between two teenagers, would be more likely not just be based on sexual desire, since ninja were specifically trained to not let their emotions get the best of them and to think things through, and C) a shinobi's life was often a short life. To delay getting married might just mean not getting married at all. This didn't mean 15-year old weddings were common or anything, but when they did happen, at least those involved weren't seen as unprepared idiots in puppy love.
...and besides all that, Naruto was planning to propose to Hinata the day he'd been kidnapped. Bought the ring and everything. It was going to be hard enough waiting three more years, but to put it off longer? Out of the question...well, maybe when they were sixteen and not fifteen. Yeah, that was probably for the best.
He grinned some more, and giggled at the realization of exactly how out-of-nowhere his confession to Hinata that he liked her like that would be, since they were both twelve again. She'd probably faint...he'd do it in public so everyone's jaw would drop...probably do something really romantic and out of character for him. Hey, if he was gonna relive his life, he should have fun with it, right? -I'll definitely have to get rid of that calender now,- he chuckled. -Hinata would have a heart attack if she saw.-
A thought struck him. -Right, the calender! Gotta check exactly when I came back!- He opened his eyes again, walking over to the calender. As he did so, he thought of over-the-top ways (could there be any others?) to confess his undying love to his destined one. He thought a lot in those few footsteps. Came with the shinobi territory -Let's see...flowers? Too stereotypical. Cinnamon Rolls? Better, but not good enough. A romantic song? Yeah, like I can write, or sing for that matter. Or even play an instrument. I should probably learn, though, sometime. Put the extra time I'm being forced to live through to good use. Um...wait, I've got it! Yeah, that will totally wo...-. The grin immediately dropped off his face, the dropping motion continuing with his arms, now hanging limply at his sides. His thoughts of romance had been shattered by the last red X on the calender, indicating today was the day. The day. The day of the 'sparring session'. And then...
-The night Sasuke leaves!- Naruto shouted in his head, now exceedingly panicked. A few seconds of silent staring a the calender passed. He snapped out of that as quickly as possible. -I have to do something!- He rushed over to his dresser drawers, grabbing his trademark quasi-jumpsuit (-Orange is okay, but nothing but? What was I thinking?-) and his headband, putting them on quickly, and dashing out the door.
His twelve-year-old stomach persuaded him to go to Ichiraku's first.
0-0-0-0
Tsunade thought today was going to be a boring day of nothing but paperwork. Well, she was right the first time around. But this time? Veeeeery wrong.
She sighed, looking up to Shizune. "Please, can't I take a break? Just one bottle of sake, I swear..."
"You and me both know that 'one bottle' is going to turn into six or seven, Lady Tsunade," responded Shizune responsibly. "Besides, you're way behind. You need to start keeping better track of your work."
"Yeah, yeah," waved Tsunade. Shizune looked miffed, but the older lady paid her no mind. -Sheez, you'd think she was Hokage or something, the way I'm taking orders...-
"Lemme in! Lemme in!" came a familiar nine-tailed-infused voice from just outside the door. "I have to see La-er, Grandma Tsunade! Right now! It's mega-important!"
"Hoo boy," said Shizune. "Naruto." She shook her head. "When will he learn that he can't just barge in here whenever he wa-"
"Send him in," shouted Tsunade.
"Lady Tsunade!" startled Shizune, eyes wide and teeth showing. Classic over-the-top anime reaction. She suddenly looked serious. "You're trying to get out of doing paperwork, aren't you?"
"Maybe," said Tsuande with a twinkle in her eye. "But then again, Naruto did say it was important. And even if it's not, I'm sure whatever he has to say will be...interesting."
"Oink," squealed Tonton as the door opened. Naruto, rubbing a bruised cheek and looking angry, walked in. Surprisingly, the ANBU behind him were rubbing various parts of their body as well, as if Naruto had managed to hurt them. But that was silly. A Genin-level ninja could never hurt one of the ANBU...could they?
"Bunch of jerks," Naruto grunted. Then he breathed in through his nose. -Okay,- he thought. -Just because you're young again and have to deal with hormones and all that, and just because right now is a very important time, doesn't mean you should get excited.- He breathed out again, through his mouth. "Alright," he said. "I rushed straight over here to tell you this, so please listen."
-Please?- Shizune thought, now suspicious. -Since when does Naruto say 'please'?-
"...well, okay, yeah, first I grabbed a bite to eat at Ichiraku's...but only 'cause I knew I had a little extra time!"
-Never mind, it's Naruto,- thought Shizune, breathing a sigh of relief.
"So, Naruto," said Tsunade as Shizune decided to start glowering at her. "What exactly is this 'mega-important' thing you wanted to tell me?"
"Okay," said Naruto, raising his palms. "So, here's the thing: Sasuke's gonna wake up today. Really soon."
Tsunade blinked. "He should. That's what I diagnosed would happen." She smirked slightly, figuring his and Sasuke's rivalry was going to play into all this somehow. "There something wrong with that?"
"YES! I mean, no, I mean..." he paused for a moment. "Look, Sasuke's gonna make the worst mistake of his life tonight if we don't do something to stop him."
"Naruto, what are you talking about?" asked Shizune, exasperated.
"I'm talking about Orochimaru!" Naruto said, not explaining things very well at all. "He's gonna try and turn Sasuke into one of the bad guys! Tonight! And Sasuke's going to accept!"
Tsunade blinked, her mouth set in a thin line. She slowly raised up one pointer finger, then crooked it repeatedly towards her. Naruto obediently walked up to her desk. She raised up her fist, an angry look on her face. WHAM! "ARE YOU CRAZY?" she shouted as Shizune leaned back slightly, hand across lips and eyes widened in fear. Naruto held his head, a bump rapidly forming. "I've seen some stupid pranks before, Naruto, but this takes the cake!"
"What prank?" asked Naruto, much less angry than one from this timestream would expect him to be. "I'm telling the absolute, one-hundred-percent truth here!"
"Give me a break!" Tsunade continued shouting, emphasizing each word in its own special way a she stood up. "You want me to take valuable staff off of duty so they can stand around Sasuke and restrain him for no reason other than for you to get a sick laugh!"
"What?" Naruto asked, not angry at all now. "Well, that would be pretty funny, but-"
WHAM!
"I knew it!" Tsunade said triumphantly and angrily at the same time. "Naruto, this isn't just painting over the Hokage Monument or something else that be cleaned up and forgotten!" She leaned over Naruto's agony, yelling down at him. "What if someone attacks the village while I've got my best fighters employed in your little prank? What if something really important happens while they're on duty with Sasuke, huh? What if-"
Instead of springing up from his crouching position, Naruto instead calmly stood and looked up at Tsuande as she yelled down to him. "Lady Hokage, I'm being completely serious."
Shizune and Lady Hokage reared back, terrified. "OINK!" cried Tonton in alarm.
"Did...did you just call me..." 'Lady Hokage' stuttered, fearful for her life.
Naruto leaned forward, hands lying on Tsuande's desk, looking straight at the desk-owner's face the whole time. "I'm from the future. I don't know exactly how, but I somehow got sent back in time ten years. So I know what's going to happen tonight unless we do something." He leaned forward a little more. "I know, you don't believe it. I don't expect you to. But I promise it's the truth." He grinned that familiar grin. "And I never go back on my word! That's my nindo, my ninja way!"
Tsunade blinked a few times.
Shizune blinked a few times.
Tonton blinked a few times. "Oink?"
Tsuande slowly reached back over her desk. She then gently lay her palm on Naruto's forehead. "No fever..." she murmured. "So if it's not just delirium, it must be-"
"This is serious!" said Naruto, determined, causing Tsunade to back off again. Over Naruto's head, she sent a look to Shizune, who nodded.
The medical-ninja, Jonin, and Hokage's personal assistant slowly began moving behind Naruto, pulling out three prepared needles, dipped in tranquilizer. -If he doesn't have a fever, and he made us a promise,- thought Shizune, finishing Tsunade's diagnosis for her, -He's either gone insane, or he's an imposter.- She prepared herself for attack, aiming for three non-vital parts of her target's neck. -Either way, we need to put him to sleep, if only for a little bit.-
"Look, I don't care if you believe me or not," said Naruto, oblivious to the danger just behind him. "Trust me! I swear, if it turns out I'm wrong, I'll take whatever punishment you give out." He slapped his hands on the table, loudly. "But you have to do what I say! I'll-" And he was interrupted, as Shizune struck, punching at his neck with the three needles in between her fingers.
Tsunade gasped as Naruto spun around, grabbing Shizune's wrist before she got within a foot of his neck. Another twist and another fraction of a second, and Shizune looked surprised. Naruto brought her hand behind her back, driving it into her spine as he stole her needles and held them at the ready himself. Shizune cried in pain and startledness as her shoulder twisted unnaturally.
Another second or two passed.
Naruto let go, causing Shizune to fall forward slightly. She turned quickly, to find a sheepish Naruto standing in front of her. "Sorry," he said, blushing a littley and scratching the back of his head with his non-needled hand. "Reflex."
Tsunade's mouth was agape. "When did you learn how to do that?"
Naruto looked serious again. "Eight years from now," he said as he threw the needles into the ceiling. Obviously, they stuck. "Approximately. Now are you gonna listen to me or not?"
Tsunade was still for a few moments before sitting at her desk once more. She leaned back, closing her eyes, center of her fist meeting chin as she grabbed the fist-making arm with the other. She 'bounced' her clenched hand against her chin a few times, then extended the index finger toward Naruto as she opened her eyes. "You could still be an imposter, trying to trick me," she noted.
Naruto simply smiled at this. He walked forward, Shizune (a little scaredly) getting out of his way. He imitated Tsunade's gesture from earlier, pointer finger crooking towards him. She leaned forward. He leaned forward and slightly to the side. Tsuande, getting the idea, obligingly turned her head. Naruto leaned the rest of the way, whispering in her expectant ear.
Shizune, despite herself, was curious. -What's he saying to her?- She pondered, leaning in juuuust a little bit closer...
Tsunade suddenly looked incredibly frightened, then turned and grabbed Naruto by the collar, lifting him off of the ground. "HOW DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THAT?" she roared.
Despite it all, Naruto kept smiling the same mischievous smile he was (in)famous for. "You told me," he said simply.
"That's a load of bull!" shouted Tsuande, pulling Naruto a little closer to her face to compensate for the fact that she didn't think she could yell that loudly again. Also so he could see the anger in her eyes. "I've never told anyone about that! Not even Shizune!"
-Now I'm REALLY curious!- Shizune thought, grinning a devilish grin. -This sounds juicy...-
"Heh," chuckled Naruto. That mischievous grin turned into an outright fox-like one. "Think you'd ever tell anyone if you were drunk?"
"What?" asked Tsunade, eyes widening.
"You took me to a bar to celebrate a job well done on a really important mission," explained Naruto. "You got so drunk. You told me everything!" He suddenly looked a little sick. "Then you started coming on to me...it was pretty awkward for everyone involved." He looked a little more sick. "Especially since I'd been dating Hinata for a month by that time...and she was there with us." He looked up at her, eyebrow raised and mouth downturned concernedly. "You know, you act really weird when you're drunk."
Shizune lost against the urge to start laughing, loudly, as Tsunade's blush increased. "Why you little-" she said, letting go with one hand and raising her fist.
"Hey, it's not my fault!" shouted Naruto. He suddenly unzipped his jacket, landing on the ground in his black undershirt. Trying to escape, obviously. Awfully quick about it, too, faster than one from this version of reality would expect. "You're the one who'll tell me!"
Tsunade blinked as the anger dissipated as a direct result of her realizing exactly what it meant that Naruto knew that. It meant two things: that she should never ever ever get drunk in public, and that Naruto really was from the future. She dropped Naruto's jacket on the floor as she plunked back down in her chair, awestruck. She slowly gained control of her face again, looking serious as she steepled her fingers in front of her lips and shifted forward in her chair. "Naruto..." she warned. "If this is all somehow some kind of prank, I will find out sooner or later. And when I find out, I will bring down all of Konoha on your head." She narrowed her eyes. "Do I make myself clear?"
Naruto just grinned that foolproof grin as a response. That was one picture definitely worth a thousand words, all trustworthy. Shizune, meanwhile, had stopped laughing as realization slapped her across the face too, and was now looking at the twelve-year-old in front of her in astonishment. -Or is that 22-year-old?- she thought. -Do we refer to him as an adult or child on his forms now?- She shook her head. -This day is just too weird...-
"Alright," said Tsunade finally. Naruto picked up his jacket and began putting it on again. Tsunade absently took notice of the way the sunlight gleamed off of his/her necklace while she continued speaking. Always a good reminder of exactly why she became Hokage. "Well...if what you say is true...I'd like you to do two things for me."
Naruto nodded, listening intently and seriously. "Alright."
Tsunade smiled suddenly and widely. "Can you call me 'Lady Hokage' again?"
Naruto was livid. "Lady Hokage," he said. A bit angrily, but he said it.
Tsunade laughed with joy. "Ah, it warms my heart to hear you say that, Naruto."
Naruto crossed his arms, purposefully acting like his younger self again. "Yeah, whatever, Grandma, what's the second thing?"
Tsunade sighed. -I shouldn't have egged him on...- Out loud, she was serious again. "I need you to tell me about as much of the future as you can before Sasuke wakes up." Her eyes narrowed again. "This could be vital information."
Naruto nodded slowly. "Right," he said softly.
0-0-0-0
The next 25 minutes were occupied by a heavily abridged and nearly breathless paradigm-shattering story of ten years hence and the time in between that only Naruto could tell, and furthermore only Naruto could make you believe. "...and so Madara exploded in this huge burst of some weird-colored light, and the next thing I know I'm twelve years old again, waking up to the ringing of my alarm clock." He looked up at the ceiling with his eyes, thinking about the best way to wrap things up. "Then I had some ramen..." He looked back at Tsunade, smiling over a job well done and a story well told. "And now I'm here!"
Tsunade had stopped looking serious, and was now looking comically disturbed, arms hanging limply at her side. "What..."
Shizune's head was turned horizontally, and her mouth was open as wide as the rest of her face was tall, she was so confused. "...the..."
Tonton's eyes had turned into swirls, and she was on her back, twitching. "...oink?"
Tsuande leapt up, taking her turn at slamming her palms on the table. "You're telling me I died because Madara Uchiha summoned a pack of wolverines to attack me?"
Naruto scowled at her. "That's the most important thing you got out of all this?"
"No, it's just the thing I have the most trouble believing!" responded Tsuande before sinking into her chair with a sigh. She turned to the side, silhouette profiled by the sun. She looked sideways at Naruto. "So...what are we supposed to do now?"
"I dunno," said Naruto, cleaning out his ear with his pinky. It was fun disrespecting his elders again! "That's what I came here to ask about."
Tsuande "Hmm..."ed, then swiveled back to Naruto. "First of all, don't tell anyone else about this. You're bothered enough by the Village as is...telling them that you're able to predict what might happen in the next ten years would just compound things, whether they saw your knowledge as a blessing to them or just some new power of the demon sealed inside of you."
Shizune looked at her mistress. "Lady Hokage," she asked, "Are you sure that's wise?"
"No, I'm not," said Tsunade in response. "But we can't risk panicking the population. And I'm pretty sure they'd be panicked if they knew the village is apparently going to be destroyed in ten years."
"Not this time," vowed Naruto, raising his fist with his fingers curled towards him at chest level. "I won't let that happen!"
"I believe you," assured Tsunade, laughing a little. "Probably more than I should." And she frowned again. "But that doesn't mean everyone will...some might take you seriously...some might not. Some might believe your story...and some might not." She shook her head. "At any rate, there'd be no chance of your living a normal life." She looked up at Naruto, smiling again, as a grandmother (though she detested the term) might smile at a grandson whom she was proud of. "And it sounds like after all you've been through, you could use a normal life."
"Nah," said Naruto, smirking sincerely (if such a thing could be accomplished). "Just not one so depressing, is all. I like weird!"
Shizune laughed, now, while Tsunade and Tonton smiled. "Alright, then," said Tsunade. "Then I have a 'weird' mission for you. A very important weird mission."
Naruto leaned forward slightly, ready for the worst, and willing if it would truly help. "Yeah, what is it?" he asked.
Tsunade's smile increased, and her eyes closed. "Throw Sasuke a party."
"Huh?" asked everyone else in the room. That was a little too strange a mission.
"Make sure you let him know how much he means to you," she said. "Tell him how strong he's been getting. Invite all your friends, chips, soda, anything you want, as long as it isn't illegal!" She leaned forward slightly. "Or at least not too illegal," she winked.
"Lady Tsunade!" scolded Shizune as Naruto grinned, giggling.
Tsunade giggled as well. "I'm kidding, I'm just kidding!" She seemed jubilant, even proud of herself for thinking this 'strategy' up. "If we can get Sasuke to stay in the village willingly, so much the better. Plus, I won't have to waste any guards on Sasuke's room. Sound good to you?"
Naruto grinned. "I got it. A party, huh?" He laughed. "Well, that 'sounds' like my kind of mission! Don't worry, Grandma Tsunade, I won't let you down!" he yelled over his shoulder as he left the office, not even bothering to let her tell him how highly-ranked his mission was, or whether he'd get an official budget for decorations and whatnot.
"Naruto!" called Tsunade after him, intending to let him know of all the details. It seems the years hadn't changed Naruto all that much, though, as he raced out the door, boisterous grin on his face, unhearing of her words. She sighed again, sitting back down.
"Oink," said Tonton happily.
Shizune giggled. "He'll never change, will he?"
"I guess not," said Tsunade with a smile. "And here I was, hoping that he'd mature over the years." She looked down at her desk for a few seconds, then sulked. She looked up at Shizune. "Do I really have to do all this?" she asked.
"Depends," said Shizune, very irresponsibly. "Will you tell me what Naruto said to you?"
"Not on your life."
"In that case, yes," said Shizune. Tsunade sighed. "Sorry, but not everything can be as exciting as talking with time travelers," shrugged Shizune as she walked away to check for more paperwork her Hokage could do. -I'll give you so much you'll have to tell me your secret just to make it stop!- And she cackled evilly, though only in her head.
Tsunade, unaware of exactly how much danger she was in, groaned. "As if this stuff wasn't boring enough before, now I've got something to compare it to!" She frowned. "The life of a Hokage...what a chore."
"Oink!" oinked Tonton.
But why is the rum gone?
At any rate, I'd have to agree with Tsunade, here...I'd much rather talk to a time-traveler for an extended period than do one sheet of paperwork. Even if that time-traveler did have disturbing insights into how I might die. ("Yeah, you died by getting hit by a water balloon...well, okay, the water balloon hit your hearing aid/iPod combo and short circuited it, sending an electrical charge into your brain. Your family's suing the company forty-eight years from now.")
...also, I hope my explanation for why a shinobi might get married at an age we would call unusually young was adequate. (I just didn't want to make Naruto wait any longer than he had to, that's all!) Even after typing it all out, though, getting married at fifteen, whether one was financially stable and mentally prepared or not, still seemed off to my American, Generation Y mind. So I added one more year on in Naruto's case. Sixteen still seemed young, but a lot more acceptable to my brain for some reason. What a difference a year makes, I guess.
Oh, and Shikamaru's sage advice is actually a quote from Sherlock Holmes. It may be paraphrased, but I'm not sure. I don't have that excellent a memory, but I do know I'm close. At least I think I am...
...and sorry, no Omake this time. In fact, they'll probably be pretty rare. I'll try to come up with one as often as I can, though, and have it relate somehow to the chapter I'm writing. Oh, well, at any rate, God bless and Good Night! Play me off, Keyboard Meerkat!
...why is there silence?
EDIT: Oh, that's why. Forgot to finish one sentence, that's been remedied. Also called Tonton 'Tenten' once. Please don't ever tell the Weapons Mistress about this. She'd kill me if she knew.
EDIT 2: Also a bunch of spelling errors. Sorry about that. Don't know what happened this chapter...I admit almost every one of my chapters has had some, but this one just seemed riddled. Well, it's (mostly) fixed now.