Hey, a quick question...why are peppermints the only kinds of hard candies restaurants seem to give out? Or at least the restaurants I go to seem to. If some are giving out chocolate, I feel gypped.
Erm, anyway, hello! AProcrastinatingWriter, Chapter Four, yadda yadda! In this chapter, romantic drama happens, or some such nonsense. Perhaps a little too dramatic? I dunno, honestly. But, hey, thanks for reading anyway! Sorry if things do get a bit on the 'melo' side of drama.
...I feel like there's something more I should be saying, but I can't think of a thing to say. Weird. Well, here's the next chapter. Enjoy!
CHAPTER FOUR
WELL, YOU SEE, THERE'S THIS GIRL
-OR-
HOW TO IRRITATE YOUR SUPERIORS AND STILL AVOID GETTING IN TROUBLE
Brrrriiiiiiiinnnnggg...
Shikamaru winced, turned away from the offending object, and wrapped his pillow around his head. -Troublesome little...- he grunted in the safety of his head. -Thought I got rid of that thing!-
Oddly enough, his ignoring the alarm clock did not cause it to stop its incessant noise. There goes the theory that it had self-esteem issues. "Alright, alright," Shikamaru mumbled, finally reaching over and slapping the top of the clock hard enough to cause permanent damage. Shikamaru groaned, letting his arm droop off the side of the bed. -Why did I set my alarm to go off at six o'clock? After that party last night...- He suddenly blinked, confused. -Wait. Party? That doesn't seem right...- He thought for a few moments. -No...there was definitely a party. With a disco ball...and Tenten was DJ...and Naruto and Sasuke almost...- his face suddenly scrunched up in confusion. -Was the punch spiked? I'm not sure I'm remembering things right...-
He hummed slightly as he rolled over on his back. -Yeah...there wasn't a party. It was something else. My parents...screaming...a big battle...- And suddenly, mental pictures formed in his head. Bloody and disturbing ones. Shikamaru bolted upright, eyes wide. -That's right! The attack! Mom and dad were...- his head slowly lowered. "No way..." he mumbled. He began shaking his head, suddenly sad and angry. "No, no...it's got to be a dream!"
Then, he stopped to think. -Actually...yeah. It really does have to be a dream.- He slowly looked up again. -Otherwise...I wouldn't be waking up in a building in the Leaf Village right now...in fact, I probably wouldn't be waking up at all.- He craned his neck towards his window. -This is the Leaf Village, right?-
Indeed it was. Bright day with a blue sky that was perfect for cloud-watching. Every single familiar building, standing up straight and proud as ever. All the little people scampering about their daily lives below and within them. Shikamaru really had no idea what they were doing up so early...actually, he didn't know what he himself was doing up so early. Shikamaru sighed with relief. -That's good,- he thought. -So...everyone's still alive. It was all just a dream.- He looked confused. -So was the party a dream too? Or did that really happen?- He shook his head. -Yeah, it's got to be...because I remember going through a bunch of other stuff instead of the party...and then after that...-
With clarity so sudden it sent Shikamaru almost literally reeling, everything came together in a split second. The party was the most recent event, while trailing its heels was his battle with Madara Uchiha. Then, moving backwards...well, things went on from there.
-That's right,- thought Shikamaru. He looked back down at his hands, which seemed noticeably tinier than usual. -It's all beginning to become clear...but at the same time, none of it makes sense in the slightest.- He closed his eyes. -To have experienced these events in the order I'm remembering them, several of them would require displacing time in some way...no jutsu I know of has that much power behind it.- His eyes snapped open, now ready for information-gathering. -So at least one of my memories is really a false one...a dream. Question is, which one's the one that isn't really there?-
The young strategist slowly looked around, filing every bit of evidence in his brain. -My room's the same as it was when I was a Genin...- he knocked the wall behind him. -Right down to the secret compartment.- he smiled. Then, he looked out the window, serious again. -Not to mention the fact that the Village Hidden in the Leaves is quite obviously still there, as I've already established. So the battle with Madara was really a dream...but is that all that is? Or is there more?-
He slowly stood from his bed, walking over to his closet. He opened it up, and vaguely noted his Chunin-vest was part of the singular outfit he always had lined up for the day's wearing. He looked in the mirror. Baggy eyes, scrawny muscles, undershirt and boxers...everything looked the same as usual. Except...everything looked smaller. Shikamaru sighed. "So...everything but the party was the dream," he said aloud. "What an unbelievable drag..."
He considered things silently again. -Ten years,- he thought, trying to wrap his head around the magnitude of time he'd gained and then lost. -I lived out ten years of my life while everyone else's time stood still, and then I was snapped back to reality without any warning.- He chuckled, a bitter laugh indeed. -Like some kind of reverse Rip Van Winkle.-
It was a sad and happy and even a partially accurate conclusion that the sloth-ninja had come to. He thought over everything that apparently really hadn't happened over his lifetime. Naruto might or might not still have the Kyuubi inside of him somewhere...Sasuke hadn't left...Asuma wasn't dead, and neither were his parents. A lot of people weren't dead. The Akatsuki might not even really exist. Really, besides having to live through the boring parts (which were most of the parts) of the last ten years all over again, the only bad thing Shikamaru could think of about this was the fact that...
-Temari isn't in love with me,- his eyes snapped open.
So, that was just a dream, too. He smiled at this, but that was just to keep from crying. -Of course. Like she would ever really fall for me. In my dreams, yeah.- Shikamaru chuckled, but it was bitter and grieving. Not joyful. -I mean, what's there to fall for? Like I'm really that big hero I dreamed myself to be...like I'm that good a leader.- He was coming closer and closer to crying every second. -Like I'm really something special.- He couldn't hold the emotion in his head anymore as he spoke aloud. "Like Temari would ever agree to marry a guy like me..." he choked out as the tears began welling in his eyes.
"You're such a crybaby!" came a voice from nowhere but Shikamaru's own memories. With these words, those same eyes, the ones that had been ready to pour out tears, widened just a second later, and though the tears fell, no more came to replace them. Shikamaru slowly looked up at the mirror as images passed through his head, and his body reacted to them as his consciousness was pulled into a comforting embrace.
His ears perked up as the sound of Temari's laughter echoed throughout the room. His eyes dilated as her own eyes, her form and the fluidity of her movements passed in front of him. His lips tingled at the sweet taste and warmth of her lips lightly brushing across his. His cheeks reddened at her beauty and the tone of her voice, as she came back for more kisses, each one deeper and more passionate than the last, representative of all the physical contact they'd had over the years. He smiled at thoughts of cloud-watching, of dinner-dates, of performing silly little plays for ninja trainees.
-Temari,- the Chunin thought, or rather remembered, smile ever-widening. His eyebrows lifted up slightly as the last of his tears fell. He looked at his reflection, straight in the eye, the biggest grin he had ever seen in the last place he'd ever expected to see it: his own face. "Yeah...that was real," he said to himself. "Even if everything else was a dream...all of that was definitely real." This was a highly illogical assumption for Shikamaru to make. He didn't care, because he knew it was the truth.
His smile decreased to a normal one now as he thought over possibilities. -Let's see...- he thought, moving his hands to his thinking position. It was a lot easier to think than at last night's party. -If it wasn't a dream, though, why am I twelve years old again? Why is the village still standing? Why are things like they are?- His mind raced forward, thinking over things he needed to think about, and things he'd promised himself he'd think about again. -And what was with that big celebration for Sasuke?-
Smile got a little bigger, actually turning into a smirk now, as it usually did when he figured out a strategy. But, since there was no one there to smirk at, it seemed as if he was smug about outsmarting reality. Which he was. -Of course. I've been making assumptions. I can't exactly toss out 'traveling through time' until I can definitely disprove it as a possibility, right?- He nodded, and began to think aloud, as if someone could hear. "Right. And if we assume that I went back in time, we can assume that others might have gone back in time too...which would explain Sasuke and Naruto's strange behavior as of late perfectly."
The smile stopped now as he remembered the circumstances surrounding the final blow to Madara. "Only question is," he mumbled to himself. "What happened to Neji? And Gaara? Were they killed in that blast?" He shook his head, hands moving back to normal position. "No. That wouldn't make sense. Unless the timestream only has a survival rate of three in five, or something. And that itself doesn't make sense." He thought for a few moments. "Well, I came back later than the other two...does that mean there's still a chance..."
"SHIKAMARU!" came a rather angry voice from downstairs. "WILL YOU GET DOWN HERE ALREADY? YOUR BREAKFAST IS GETTING COLD!"
The young man smiled again. "Well," he said, walking into his closet, because 'thinking time' was obviously over, "Here we go again..."
0-0-0-0
"There you are!" shouted Shikamaru's mother, Yoshino for those of you who don't know, as he came downstairs, now fully dressed. "Glad to see you out of bed, lazy-bones! That's what you get for staying out until after midnight when you know you have training in the mornings!" And she threw her one of her best patented 'mom-glares' at the boy.
-Mom,- Shikamaru thought, mouth slightly open. -And dad,- He knew they'd be there, and yet actually seeing them alive and not dead, not to mention ten years younger, really brought things home for him. He teared up slightly, unseen, then slowly began walking towards his mom.
"Hey. Are you listening?" She asked as he got closer. She was standing between him and the breakfast table, so she assumed that was where he was going. "I'm warning you, mister, if you take another-"
"I'm sorry," said Shikamaru in a sincere tone neither of his parents had heard before.
"Yeah, you'd better be...what?" His mom suddenly realized exactly what he'd just said. Shikamaru's dad, Shikaku, looked up from his breakfast, his son's quiet apology being more startling to him than his wife's loud, angry shouting.
Shikamaru continued. "I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to upset you," he said, just as sincerely as before. "You're a really great mom."
"Okay, what's going on?" asked his mom, eyebrow raised in annoyance, suspicion, and confusion. She was interrupted by Shikamaru suddenly grabbing her in a tight hug. Now she was just worried. "Shikamaru!" she started, because this was highly out of character for him. "What are you-"
"I love you," the boy responded in a slightly choked voice. Why he was crying, they could not have possibly understood: his parents were dead, and now they were alive again. He clutched at his mom's shoulders, as if letting her go would somehow make her disappear again. "I love you," he repeated.
The food in Shikaku's mouth fell back down to the plate it had come from as he lost control of how much it could open. Yoshino blinked a few times, utterly surprised. After a few moments, her face softened into a gentle smile as she slowly returned her son's hug. "I love you too, Shikamaru," she said, voice matching her son's in sincerity. "I always have." She slowly pulled away from him, bending over slightly to look him in the eye. "I always will."
Shikamaru smiled as Yoshino pulled him back into her arms, a much gentler hug this time. "Uh..." Shikaku said. Then, tossing out his suspicions and misgivings for a second, he smiled as well. "Heh," he chuckled, and then stood up and walked over to his wife and son. "Same here," he said, causing the other two to pull away and look at him. He gently kissed his wife as he lay his arm around her shoulders, placing his other hand on Shikamaru's left shoulder. "After all..." he said, looking first into his wife's eyes, then into his son's, "We are a family."
0-0-0-0
For the first time since he'd become a ninja, Shikamaru was allowed to skip his morning training.
The mood in the house lifted after that, especially once father and son were able to convince Yoshino to sit down and eat breakfast with them instead of bustling around like a 'good little housewife'. None of them had realized it, but it had been an incredibly long time since they'd all gathered together at the family table to eat a meal. Now, as they talked, and laughed, and ate, they were acutely aware of exactly how long it had been: too long. Far too long since they'd just spoken to each other without the yelling and stress.
"HA HA HA HA!" laughed Shikamaru, covering his mouth to keep the egg-like food in it from running out of it.
"It's not that funny," murmured Yoshino, who was both embarrassed and happy, as evidenced by the fact she was both blushing and smiling.
"Sorry, but it really is," said Shikaku. "After all, how many couples can say they first met after a peeking attempt?"
Shikamaru managed to swallow his tofu whey. "Actually, it really isn't that funny," he clarified, reaching for his drink. "I'm just laughing 'cause I'm so disturbed." That being said, he was still smiling too.
"Bet you never knew your mom had such a wild side, did ya?" asked Shikaku. Yoshino reached over and whacked him lightly on the head. He reeled off to the side a bit, now laughing too.
Shikamaru shook his head. "Ah, people," he murmured, half comedy and half tragedy. He downed a great gulp of his juice after lifting it in mock-toast.
His mom shook her head too. She suddenly seemed to stop, and think for a second. "Shikamaru?" she finally asked. She was saying his name as a question a lot recently.
"Yeah?" responded the boy. Not a young man; at that moment he was an older boy, almost a teen, despite the years he'd lived through.
"You seemed...upset when you came downstairs," she said cautiously. She would have brought it up sooner, but she felt that waiting a bit before asking would probably be for the best. "Is something wrong?"
Shikamaru's turn to think had come up. "Well," he finally said, the young man within him coming through to the surface again, "I guess you could say that it just hit me, is all."
"What just hit you?" asked Shikaku, leaning forward slightly. He was concerned just as much as his wife was.
"The fact that you guys aren't going to be around forever," Shikamaru said, looking into his drink. "Any time we talk could be my last chance to say something to you." He looked back up. "Especially since we're all shinobi." He smiled. "I just wanted to set things right while I still could."
Shikaku and Yoshino slowly looked at each other, unsure of what to say. After all, to deny Shikamaru's words would be, well, lying. Finally Shikaku turned back to his son. "I can't say I disagree," he said, "But, son, you shouldn't let those kinds of thoughts linger. They aren't good for you if you let them take over your life."
Shikamaru smiled, wiping his mouth with his napkin. "I'm afraid I have to disagree," he said, standing up and placing the napkin down. "It all depends on whether you use your thoughts positively or negatively, is all." He bowed his head slightly. "Thanks for the great meal, mom. This and all the other times. Dad, thanks for all the advice you've given me over the years, and the advice you're sure to give me in the future, 'cause I know I need it." He turned and began walking for the door. "See ya later."
"Where are you going?" asked Yoshino.
Shikamaru turned, smiling and blushing slightly. "Well, if I put things off too much longer, I may not get to do them at all." His blush increased, as did his smile. "And, well, you see..." he put his hand behind his neck, scratching slightly. "There's this girl..." And then, before either of his startled parents could ask for more information, Shikamaru placed his hands into the Rat, Boar, Rat signs. "Shadow Movement Jutsu!" he said. Suddenly, the shadow the kitchen light cast into the hallway he was standing in seemed to swallow him up, and he disappeared without a trace. As per usual when teenagers get asked questions about friends of the opposite sex.
Yoshino stood up slightly, as both she and her husband gaped. Then, as she sat down again, they both smiled. "A jutsu of his own creation and a girl," Shikaku said, beaming.
"Our little Shikamaru is growing up," said Yoshino, proud and a little sad.
A few moments of silence passed, before both looked down at their hands simultaneously. They were astonished, for apparently they had grasped each other's hands on the table subconsciously. Something like that hadn't happened since they were newlyweds. Same with what was happening with their hearts, beating like they were right now. Shikaku looked up first, smiling a bit. "It just occurred to me," he said, causing his wife to look up too, "It's been an awfully long while since we've...well...you know..."
Yoshino blushed. "R-right now?" she asked breathily, looking around nervously, but smiling too.
Shikakau's smile became a grin, a flirty one, a single eyebrow raised. "Yeah, sure, why not? Shikamaru probably won't be back for a while."
"I-I don't know," Yoshino murmured softly, sending furtive glances to her husband and, erm, the rest of his body.
"Oh, come on...it'll be fun..." And as he said these words, slowly and lowly, he leaned in for her neck, she obligingly tilting her head slightly upwards as her blush increased...
0-0-0-0
And stepping away from that lemon, we rejoin Shikamaru, whose four-second trip across one-and-a-half minutes of ground had just ended as he stepped out of the shadow of a tree. "Well, that was close," he mumbled to himself as he began walking. "Still, I'll have to explain things eventually, I guess." And though he was speaking of the fact Temari was three years older than him and from the Sand Village, he realized what he was saying could also apply to the fact he was from the future. -Oh well,- he thought, smiling as he looked up at the clouds drifting overhead. -Guess I'll just have to cross those bridges when I come to them.- With this thought, he began walking forward, head tilted slightly upwards so he could keep up his cloud-watching duties and still watch where he was going peripherally.
Cloud-watching. Shikamaru was uncertain, right up to the last second of his last battle, of whether he would ever see the sun again, let alone the white clouds that came along with it. But here he was, just walking and staring. And there the clouds were. Beautiful.
"Hey, Shikamaru! What are you doing?" came a voice from his left, and a little bit downhill.
Shikamaru's heart skipped a beat. Once again, he knew this was coming, but actually hearing the voice made it so much more real. He looked to where the voice came from. -Asuma,- he thought, trying to keep a calm look on his face. He looked to his sensei's left. -And Chōji, too...alive.- Ino was there, too, but Shikamaru was more concerned about the people that, last he had seen them, had been dead.
"We've got training today, remember?" shouted up Chōji. And he was right: though Shikamaru had personal lessons with his family, mainly his dad, each morning, he also had his team's daily workout to deal with. Ironic that the laziest person in the village would receive the most training.
Shikamaru swallowed, though he was far enough away that no one noticed. "Yeah...right," he said, forgetting all about the clouds and walking downhill. "Sorry. Lost track of time, I guess..." He had no idea why he wasn't crying now, but he was thankful for it. He really just wanted things to be back to normal with his team.
"Ugh! This always happens with you, Shikamaru!" Ino said as he approached their training area. "Do you have any idea how long we've been waiting?"
Everyone looked at her strangely. Shikamaru glanced back up at the sky. "Judging from the position of the sun, I'd say about ten minutes?" he asked, raising his eyebrow slightly. Looks like 'back to normal' was a little bit much to ask.
"Yeah, that's about right," confirmed Chōji, eyeing Ino a bit warily. "Not really that big a deal..."
"Are you feeling alright, Ino?" Asuma inquired, concerned for his student's well-being.
Ino blinked, then placed her hand on her forehead, smiling a bit off from her usual smile. "Sorry..." she said, pushing her bangs away from her eyes. "I guess I'm just cranky because I'm so tired...with the party last night and all...you know?"
Shikamaru looked her up and down for a minute or so after his line, the others' talking giving him time for this. Body language would certainly seem to indicate she was tired. Her bright, piercing eyes were gone, replaced by orbs that were dull and lifeless and seemed to wander whenever she wasn't talking to someone. Her usual posture, the confident arch of her back and high-held head that seemed to say "I'm queen of the world and you had better recognize that fact" were also gone, and without them her whole body seemed slumped over slightly.
-Only problem with all that,- thought Shikamaru, -Is that Ino is a trained kunoichi. Sleep deprivation for several days could cause her to act like this, but one night with slightly less sleep than a usual missionless night?-He shook his head. -Doesn't seem right.-
"Well, you'll just have to suck it up and treat today like any other day of training," said Asuma. He smiled, moving his cigarette to the other side of his mouth as he did so. "In fact, since you had the day off yesterday, today is going to be even worse on you three than usual."
Chōji and Ino groaned, but Shikamaru was too lost in thought to respond. This caused everyone to look at him, as they were confused as to why he apparently wasn't paying attention. The answer became 'obvious' by following Shikamaru's gaze, which had naturally drifted downward slightly as he thought.
"Erm...Shikamaru..." said Asuma, sweatdropping and blinking. The Chunin didn't respond.
"Are you staring at my chest?" Ino asked loudly and furiously, though on the inside she was slightly pleased.
Now Shikamaru responded. "What?" he asked, eyes wide. "Oh, uh..." he sighed, blinking slowly as his face returned to its neutral stance. "Sorry," he said., figuring apologizing would take less effort than explaining himself. "Puberty." -Which I'll have to go through for a second time,- he thought, flinching mentally. -Awesome.-
"Hmm," grumbled Ino. "Well, don't let it happen again." She glared suspiciously at him for several seconds. Then, without warning: "I'm partnering up with Chōji for sparring," and she grabbed the poor chubby ninja by his arm and began leading him away brusquely.
"Hey! Let me go!" said Chōji, who had some things he wanted to discuss with Shikamaru.
Feigned anger aside, Ino was secretly delighted that Shikamaru was apparently taking pleasure in how she looked. -Hmm...he's kind of lazy, but I'm sure I could whip him into shape,- she thought, judging the boy's potential. -Pretty good looking, too. Still, gotta play hard-to-get for now. If he knows I'm interested...- and she continued ranting in her head, trying to cover up her actual feelings by thinking overly-much about the idea that had passed through her head.
Shikamaru blinked. -Why do I suddenly have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach?- he asked himself. No answer came. He hated when that happened.
"Okay, then," said Asuma. -Awkward.- "What do you say we get to our sparring, then?"
"Actually," said Shikamaru, turning to the sensei he hadn't seen in years, "I was wondering if you could teach me how to use trench knives? Like you do." This was a good opportunity to spend time with Asuma. Just in case things couldn't be avoided this time around either.
Asuma blinked. "Oh, uh...sure," he said, surprised at the out-of-left-field nature of Shikamaru's request. -Maybe it has to do with puberty?- he thought.
0-0-0-0
"So let me get this straight," Tsuande said, deceptively calm. "You went ahead and threw the party, spending valuable village resources and time, despite Sasuke's having come back from the future too, and thus having knowledge of exactly what would happen if he went with Orochimaru." Her eyes narrowed. "Is that correct?"
"Looks like it," said Naruto, calm and smiling.
"THEN WHY DID YOU HAVE THE PARTY?"
"It was fun," Sasuke said, calm and brooding.
Tsunade clenched her fist. "Naruto...Sasuke..." she growled through gritted teeth.
"Also in celebration," said Sasuke. "Of the fact that since I remember things from the future, I know all about Orochimaru's plans and secret bases."
"That's no excuse!" chimed in Shizune. "You should tell us stuff like that out of duty to our village, not because...wait," she thought for a moment.
"You do?" asked Tsunade, eyebrows raised.
"I do," said Sasuke, smirking.
"Isn't he great, folks?" asked Naruto, putting his arm around his buddy's shoulder. "Let's all give Sasuke a big hand!"
"Oink," oinked Tonton, surprised.
"Look," said Tsunade, "You can't expect to get out of trouble just because you know some significant information. Nor can you turn a party you should not technically have had permission to have into payment for that information!" Her brows creased as she stood, beginning to get warmed up for the extremely heated lecture she was about to give. "You should be giving that information to us because we're your Village leaders, and we're in charge of protecting you!"
"Easy, Grandma," said Naruto, smirking in unison with Sasuke as he raised his hands in surrender.
"We're just messing with you," Sasuke finished. "We'll take whatever punishment you decide on."
Tsunade stared at them for a few seconds, impassively. Shizune stared at her, getting a horrifying inkling of what was about to happen next. "Lady Tsunade..." she murmured, a little scared.
Tsunade sighed. "Alright, you get off easy this time."
"LADY TSUNADE!"
"OINK!"
"Uh...did I hear you right, Grandma?" asked Naruto.
Tsuande looked grumpy. "Yeah, yeah, don't think this means I have a soft spot for you or anything," she shrugged. "I'm just saying if I had been in your shoes, at your age, I'd probably have done the same thing."
"Lady Tsunade, I don't think that's the kind of thing you want to be admitting..." Shizune mumbled to her mistress.
"He's already seen me when I'm drunk," Tsuande said. "And heard what I had to say. Not much else I can say to incriminate myself."
Sasuke leaned over, a confused and slightly humored look on his face. "You've seen her drunk?" he asked incredulously.
"You missed a lot while you were gone," responded Naruto.
"You're telling me," said Sasuke.
Tsunade sighed. "Alright, then. Sasuke, Naruto, you are both dismissed for the time being. I'm sure Kakashi will be getting to your regular spot any minute now." She was correct; it had almost been two hours past the time Kakashi said to show up. "After you two finish training for the day, I want both of you to come back for Sasuke's debriefing."
"As you wish, Madam Hokage," said Sasuke, back to all-business. All jabs and proddings aside, he really did want to obey Tsunade and in whatever way he could, and therefore help out the village in whatever way he could, this time around. Though he probably should have called her 'Lady' and not 'Madam'.
"Okay then, I'll make sure...oh! That's right!" Naruto frowned. "I can't make it. I'm doing something after training that I can't put off..."
"That wasn't a request, Naruto," said Tsunade harshly. "That was an order."
"I'm sorry, Lady Hokage, I just can't..." Naruto said, switching back from 'Grandma Tsunade' in an attempt to appease her.
"What?" shouted Shizune before Tsuande could. "What on Earth could possibly be so important that you think you would be allowed to disobey a direct order from your Hokage?"
"Well..." Naruto blushed, playing with his fingers in a very familiar way. Sasuke moved another small step to the left, this being the first one that anyone noticed. Trying to get away from Naruto, who was in the line of fire.
"This had better be good, Naruto," Tsunade warned.
"Oink," squealed Tonton, angry.
"I'm supposed to meet with Hinata's dad today," Naruto said, smiling. "He's gonna check to see whether or not I'm 'suitable' to date his daughter!"
Silence.
"Why do you sound so happy about that?" Sasuke finally asked.
Naruto grinned. "Because I've got a plan!"
Shizune sighed. "I should have figured. This can't end well."
Tsunade sighed as well. "Fine, fine...Sasuke will go through debriefing alone." She looked angry. "But the instant you're done talking to Hiashi, you're going to come back here. Understood?"
"Hiashi...that's his name," Naruto mumbled. "Alright, got it! You can count on me!"
Silence again.
Once again, Sasuke broke it. "You're telling me you were dating Hinata exclusively for years...
"...and you didn't even know her father's name?" asked Shizune, hands on hips and angry look on her face.
Naruto groaned, shaking his head. "It was just a joke...sheesh..."
0-0-0-0
"Oof!" Ino's back hit the ground, causing the wind to be knocked out of her. "Ow..." she grumbled, sitting up.
"You okay, Ino?" asked Chōji, taking the step or two necessary to crouch down next to her. "Sorry. Didn't think I hit you that hard."
Their sparring had been going well. Each had agreed not to use any jutsu besides taijutsu, and it was actually a pretty even match. Chōji's power and pudgy presence were quite the offensive and defensive force against the equally effective Ino's speed, skill, and subtlety of movements. Or, rather, that was what should have happened. In reality, Ino was getting tossed around like a rag doll.
"It's alright," Ino said, not looking at Chōji. She slowly got up, dusting herself off. A faraway look was on her face. "We're sparring. You're supposed to hit me."
Chōji frowned, eyebrows creased. "Ino..." he scolded, settling down onto the grass. "If there's something wrong, you need to tell us."
Ino sighed. "I guess I'm just preoccupied, is all. Sorry."
Chōji frowned some more, worried. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Ino chuckled. "Think you could understand boy problems?" she asked, looking sideways at him as a bit of her old personality shone through. Chōji felt the goosebumps rise on his skin as his cheek muscles tightened, pulling his serious frown into a tightly scared one and making his eyes extra-wide. Ino giggled a little bit. "Hee, hee...didn't think so."
The mindwalker slowly looked sad again, then turned upwards. Chōji recovered, then looked up as well. Nothing appeared to be in the sky except for clouds. Chōji smiled, then turned his sitting position into a lying one, turned parallel to where Ino would be if she were lying down on the grass as well. "Great day for cloud-watching, huh?" he asked his teammate.
She nodded, truthfully speaking a simple "Yeah."
A few seconds of silence. Suddenly, realization flashed across the male ninja's face. And, like literal flashes, it was at lightspeed that his face changed to his very startled one. -Wait a second...- he murmured in his head as his smile slowly came back, teeth showing this time. He stood up, not as fast as his face could change, but still fast enough to get Ino's attention. "You're in love with Shikamaru, aren't you?" he shouted, grinning.
"Wh-what?" stuttered Ino, blushing. "No!" she said, shaking her head and hands, vehemently denying the claim. "No! No way! Not at all!" She stopped. "Well, I guess...I-I don't know, maybe."
"Seriously?" Chōji asked, happy at the prospect of his two best friends getting together. "Oh, wow, this is phenomenal!" He turned, lost in fantasies of... "You guys'll start dating, and then you might get engaged, and that means you'll get married, and every wedding needs a reception, and a reception means ALL YOU CAN EAT!" ...food. "The most gourmet dishes imaginable! Hah hah!"
Ino sweatdropped, blinked, then laughed. "Chōji," she tittered, "Don't you think you're getting a little carried away with all this? I mean, I don't even know for sure if I like Shikamaru like that or not..."
"Alright, alright," conceded Chōji. "But you have to admit the scenario is possible."
"Lots of things are possible," Ino said to Chōji as a nearby figure moved from his hiding place and began crawling away. "I mean, it's possible I could end up marrying you!"
"...what kind of food would be at the reception?" Choji asked, half-seriously.
"Chōji..." Ino warned just as half-seriously as the being watching them slowly and cautiously moved out of hearing range. And that being was...
-What a drag,- thought Shikamaru, who had stumbled upon the scene quite accidentally while practicing his stealth. Asuma had maintained stealth was necessary when using trench knives, but even Shikamaru's 200+ IQ couldn't fathom why. He could fathom what his two friends were saying just fine, though. -Things definitely aren't going back to normal any time soon.-
0-0-0-0
Sakura was at the bridge. Sakura was annoyed. If Sakura had a weapon, someone would probably have died by now. Okay, that's a slight exaggeration, but only a slight one. She really was extremely annoyed, though. She always hated being alone.
Clunk. Clunk. Clunk.
Footsteps on the wooden bridge. Sakura looked up angrily. "THERE you are!" she shouted, slightly crouched as if ready to pounce. "Where the heck have you been, Naruto? It's bad enough waiting for Kakashi to show up, but when I have to wait for you too..." she suddenly stopped as she noticed another figure behind Naruto. A very familiar and (in her opinion, at the very least) very handsome figure.
"Sorry," apologized Naruto, stepping forward and revealing a very flustered-looking Sasuke. "Grandma Tsunade wanted to talk with us about something."
Sakura blinked, blushing slightly and mouth just the tiniest bit open. "Uh," she said, "Oh! Okay, that's fine," she said, nodding to Naruto. She stepped forward past him.
Naruto smirked a little bit himself as Sasuke blushed, showing his teeth, obviously scared. The Uchiha looked around for a few seconds, as if waiting for something to come from nowhere and startle him. Or, rather, to save him. "H-hi, Sakura," he said, stuttering for the second time in as many days. He licked his lips, which suddenly seemed very dry for some reason. "How are your parents doing?"
"Smooth," intoned Naruto sarcastically as he leaned on the railing of the bridge, hands in pockets.
"Why would you want to know that?" asked Sakura, smiling and laughing.
-It's the only way I can think of to ask about you without actually asking about you,- Sasuke thought. "Oh, uh, no reason. Just, uh..." he stopped for several seconds as he tried to think of an answer. Naruto, not helping matters at all, simply rested his chin in his hand, leaning towards Sasuke behind Sakura's back with an overly-expectant mocking look on his face. "...by the way, I just thought I'd let you know I hate you. I really do." He blushed harder as he crossed his arms in front of him, turning away from Sakura poutingly. "So...yeah. You should just go away and forget about me."
Naruto brought his hand up to his face rapidly enough to make a noise, while Sakura didn't seem to take Sasuke's words seriously at all, instead choosing to laugh at them. "Somehow I don't think I believe you," she said.
"Well, why wouldn't you believe me?" Sasuke asked angrily, though not necessarily angry at Sakura like some might believe. His blush increased still more as he asked her. It was all very awkward.
Sakura ignored his question, instead walking back to Naruto, who was leaning on the rail again and looking away from his two teammates, mind in other places. "Isn't he just the sweetest thing when he's all nervous like that?"
"As red bean paste," mumbled Naruto, looking over Sakura's shoulder at Sasuke, who was sagging and defeated-looking. He grinned a mocking grin. "Nice job!" he mouthed, somehow completely serious and very much messing around at the same time.
-You're not exactly doing a good job of making me want to stay here in the Village, Naruo,- mentally shot back Sasuke, eye twitching and mouth curved in a wavy frown. -You're really not.-
"Hi, everybody!" came an extremely flamboyant voice from just behind Sasuke, who turned. Naruto and Sakura looked over his head at Kakashi Hatake, their sensei, whom they had not noticed had entered the scene. "How'th it going?" And who apparently was speaking with a lisp now, and posing with his hip stuck out slightly.
Everyone's faces, or at least those that could be seen, scrunched up in confusion. "Kakashi-sensei?" asked Sakura, confused as a top in an earthquake factory. "Is that you?"
"Of courthe it'th me!" sprayed Kakashi, strutting forward. Not 'walking', strutting. "Who elthe would it be?"
-What horrible effects has our coming back to this timeline unleashed?- thought Sasuke, fearful for his life.
"Hey, lithten," said Kakashi moving from one hip to the next, pose-wise, "There'th a thale going on right now, tho whaddya thay we knock off training and thee-"
Naruto thankfully stopped Kakashi before he could go any further. "Okay, what is going on?" he shouted, standing up straight from the rail. "Who the heck are you and what have you done with our sensei?"
"Who, me?" asked Kakashi in his normal voice. "I'm Kakashi Hatake. As for 'what have I done with your sensei,'" he thought a moment. "I grabbed some milk and saved a kitten stuck in an upside-down tree, then had to grab some more milk because I left the first carton at the bottom," he tilted his head, "And as for what's going on here," he shrugged, "I have no idea."
The other three face-faulted. Sakura stood first, angry as one would expect. "You have no idea?" she shouted.
Naruto joined in quickly. "You're the one who came in here acting like a teenaged girl!"
"Well, you see," said Kakashi, "When I arrived at the bridge I saw you, Sakura," and he pointed at his pink student, "Talking happily with you, Naruto, who was leaning on the rail and ignoring her," and here he pointed at the ninja known as Naruto, "And you, Sasuke, being ignored whilst looking like a goof," he finished up by pointing at his sulking student. He closed at least his right eye, and his left one may or may not have been closed too, and put his hands on his hips. "So I figured I must have accidentally dropped into some parallel dimension where everyone is similar, but different. Once I knew that, I thought it would be best if I tried to blend in." He struck the pose again, regaining the lisp. "Tho, did I like, do a good job?"
"Excellent," said Naruto without much emotion, giving a thumbs-up with a very world-weary look on his face.
-Thanks for the distraction, Kakashi, whether you meant it or not,- Sasuke mentally said. He breathed a sigh of relief. "So, what are we supposed to be doing for training today?" he said aloud.
"Nothing," said Kakashi.
"What?" asked everybody there. And though they said the same word, they said what they were trying to say in wildly varying tones. Sasuke's voice was startled, Naruto's voice was saturated with confusion and Sakura was angry. Not just her voice, Sakura herself, facial expression, body language, all of it angry. "YOU MEAN I HAD TO WAIT ALONE ON THIS BRIDGE FOR NOTHING?" she shouted.
"'Fraid so," said Kakashi apologetically. "You see, I was available for a mission better suited for me than for someone who already had it," Kakashi said. "Shikaku, I believe his name was...anyway, since I'm doing the mission and he's not, all four of you, counting him, get the day off...or, rather, you get the day off unless you're called out to a mission." He smiled again. "Lucky you guys! Two days off in a row!"
"That can't be very good for improving ourselves," mumbled Sakura, saddened.
Kakashi shrugged again. "That's the way the ball bounces. You all will just have to find something else you can do for the day. Bye!" And with this unexpected and sudden farewell, he poofed away in a puff of smoke, leaving three very confused Genin in his literal dust.
Naruto stared at the spot Kakashi had just been in, blinking a few times. He turned to Sakura. "Hey, Sakura," he said, "If you're that upset about it, we can help you train without Kakashi-sensei." He turned to the third member of their group. "Right, Sasuke?"
Sakura turned as Sasuke started sweating. "You'd really do that for me?" she asked, stars in her eyes. "Oh, thank you so much!"
"Actually," said Sasuke in a high-pitched voice, "Lady Tsunade wanted me to see her right after training, so I probably should go right now!" And he turned and sprinted away.
Sakura gazed after him for a few seconds before sighing, perhaps a bit more mournfully than was strictly necessary. "Sasuke," she murmured sadly. "I just want to spend time with you, is all..."
Naruto frowned. "So, go after him," he said, quite sensibly. "He's obviously got it bad for you."
Sakura turned to Naruto, smiling again. "Thanks for the advice," she chuckled, "But I really don't think he's going to spend time with me until he wants to." She shrugged. "He's shy, I guess. He'll come around."
She walked away after that, in the opposite direction from wherever Sasuke had rushed off to. Naruto watched her leave. -He does want to spend time with you, Sakura,- Naruto thought to her, -It's just that he won't let himself, is all.- He sighed. -Looks like I've got to save you two again,- he thought, wryly smiling to himself as he walked off. -Ah, well. If Sasuke's going back to talk to Tsunade, I guess it's time for me to put my plan into action.- He stopped. -Or...maybe instead, I should go ahead and...-
0-0-0-0
Sasuke panted, bent over with his hands on his knees. Luckily no one was around, or he'd have been embarrassed. He stood up with one last gasp, looking around to find out exactly where he was. He'd gotten slightly lost as he ran from Sakura, whom he did want to be with and did not want to drag down, and thus was confused about. Now, he was certain he was very far away from the Hokage's tower, though he wasn't positive about exactly where he was.
-Okay, next time you meet Sakura, have a plan of attack ahead of time...- Sasuke made a mental note to himself. -You're a horrible actor.- He grumbled. -Seriously. You've lied before, do it again. 'I'm just not interested in you.' That's all it'd take!-
"Hiya! Ya! Hya! Ha!" said a feminine voice from nearby. Sasuke looked in that direction, now distracted. Maybe he wasn't quite as alone as he had first presumed. He walked over in that direction, stepping around a building and into a rocky clearing.
"That's it!" said Might Guy, arms and legs constantly moving at blur-level speed. "Put your back into it! Let the power of youth flow through your veins!"
"Ha! Yaha!" continued Tenten, striking at her sensei with various weapons, pulled out from an equally varied amount of scrolls with such quickness that most civilians would say she was pulling them from nowhere. On Guy's other side, Neji struck various times, but each time was dodged or knocked away from underneath the blow. Neji looked angry that he couldn't get through his sensei's defense.
Guy suddenly stopped moving, raising his palms in the air. At this command, his students stopped moving almost as quickly. Unlike him, however, they were very out of breath. "Alright, that's enough for right now. You're both performing excellently." At this, his two students moved out of battle position, bowing to their teacher. "Let's take a quick break." He turned to Sasuke, smiling. "After all, we have a visitor! How about it, kid, care to take on the most handsome man in all the Leaf Village?" And his teeth gleamed as his thumb moved up and forward.
Sasuke sweatdropped. "...no thanks, Guy-sensei. Kakashi-sensei had some kind of mission, so he gave us the day off, and I just happened to end up here, is all. I'm not really-"
"How very lucky of you!" said Guy as his pupils sat on two of the larger rocks nearby, still panting for breath. "I was supposed to be on a mission today, too, but when Kakashi came up as available, everything got switched around," gleam, "So I'm free and ready to help give you as much high-intensive taijutsu training as you need!"
"That really won't be necessary," said Sasuke. He looked around a little. "Hey, where's Lee?"
"LEE! OH LEE!" wailed Might Guy, suddenly turning and kneeling and embracing a small boulder. "OH LEE!"
Tenten sighed. "We'd almost gotten him to forget, too," said Tenten.
Neji shook his head. "He really should not have been out dancing last night. We tried to get him to stop, but he claimed that...I don't even remember what he claimed." He rubbed the bridge of his nose with one finger. "Since he had been in such a bad mood lately, we let things slide."
-That's right,- thought Sasuke, who had heard but not seen Lee at all at last night's party. -Lee was injured. And he was dancing?- He sighed. -I don't think even Naruto would do something like that...would he?-
"We made him promise he'd just slow-dance, and keep on his crutch the whole time," said Neji. "But apparently even that was enough to aggravate his injuries."
"The surgery will have to wait until tomorrow," said Tenten. "Guy-sensei's really upset, so we're trying to get his mind off of everything."
Guy suddenly stood, back straight and fist clenched. "I know that he knew better!" he cried. "But I also know that deep in his heart, he couldn't help himself!" The fist clenched harder as tears and snot ran down his face. "An all-day party with your friends! With music and dancing!" He rubbed his face with his jumpsuit's sleeve. "Could any activity be more youthful?"
-I could think of a couple,- thought Sasuke, smirking a little bit. "Right, well, anyway, I'm out." He turned, still as cool as ice. "I have some important business with the Hokage."
"What kind of important business?" asked Neji.
"That's classified," responded Sasuke simply before leaping off into the sky, presumably landing on some nearby rooftop, as he seemed to disappear.
-Classified?- thought Neji, startled.
-To receive a classified mission at his age, and at Genin level,- thought Guy, impressed.
-That seems a little off to me,- thought Tenten, dubious.
Still, the three tried to put it out of their minds. Classified was classified, after all. And they had training to do.
...what kind of 'classified business' was Sasuke up to?
0-0-0-0
"Enter," came Tsuande's voice from the other side of the door. Sasuke opened that same door, getting ready to look around, but deciding against it after seeing the look on Tsuande's face. The very angry look on Tsunade's face. "And where exactly have you been?" she asked him, angrily. "From what I hear, your training session ended almost an hour ago!" She sighed. -I should have known that already, I admit that...I'm the one who sent Kakashi on the mission...but still.- She mentally growled. -That hardly excuses him from coming in late.-
Sasuke winced. He'd been afraid that was coming. "I got lost, I guess." Apparently he didn't know the Village Hidden in the Leaves quite as well as he thought he did. He could almost always see the building in the distance, but no matter which road he took, it never seemed to get any closer. "It's been a while since I've been in the Hidden Leaf Village, after all."
Tsunade fumed. "Hmph. Well, you've kept all of us waiting," she stated, not angrily, but still rather annoyed.
"YEAH!" shouted Naruto, who Sasuke noticed was tapping his foot. "Man, I was getting worried that you weren't gonna show up! I wasn't sure whether to go to Hiashi's, or stay here, or what!" He looked thoughtful. "And that was after deciding that since the old man wasn't expecting me for a while, I could afford to stop by here."
"Oink," verbalized Tonton.
Sasuke smirked. "What? More nervous than you let on earlier?" he asked, relishing his move in this little mocking game the two played.
"I am now!" said Naruto.
"Relax," said a voice Sasuke hadn't realized was there, and which he now turned to. Shikamaru stood as he continued speaking to Naruto. "Just call him 'Lord Hiashi' and not 'the old man' and I'm sure everything will go fine."
Sasuke blinked. "Shikamaru?" he asked. "What are you doing here?"
Shikamaru stuffed his hands in his pockets, looking bored. "Sorry I got back so late," he said, looking sideways at Sasuke. Not as in, out of the corners of his eyes, but straight on at the blue-shirt, with his head turned sideways. "But hey, considering how lazy I am, you should probably just be thankful I got back at all."
Sasuke blinked. "So...that means you're..."
"It seems you time travelers are just crawling out of the woodwork this week," said Shizune, shrugging. "Believe it or not, I'm starting not to even be surprised by it anymore."
Shikamaru smiled. "Sorry to be an anticlimax," he said. "But try not to be too disappointed. I had to give up our weekly lunch at the Barbecue place to be here." Now he frowned, looking back to the Fifth Hokage. "All jokes aside, we have some very serious things to talk about, correct?"
"Indeed," said Tsunade, leaning forward and placing her hands on her desk, folded together. "We've got a general idea of what will happen in the future from Naruto," and here she tilted her head towards him momentarily, "But we could use as much info as we can get. If you two would be kind enough to share your sides of the story, that would be excellent. I believe we'll get an especially large amount of information from you, Sasuke," and here she indicated the traitor who had not yet betrayed anybody.
"IF?" quoted Naruto. He fake-pouted. "I didn't get a choice in whether I told my story..."
Tsuande ignored him. "Shizune?"
"Yes, m'lady?"
"Go inform Asuma that Shikamaru may not be back for a while. He is in a meeting." The Medical Hokage brought up her cup of green tea to her lips, beginning to wish that she didn't have to put up with all this nonsense.
"Right," nodded Shizune, before exiting the room. -Darn...I wanted to see if I could get any more secret information about Lady Tsunade...-
The only Chunin in the room watched Shizune (carrying her pig, which was oinking in protest, for it wanted to stick around too) exit, then close the door behind her. He turned his head towards Tsuande, but still didn't move. "Sorry," he said. "If I'd known you were the one needing me and not the other way around, I'd have tried to get here sooner."
"That's alright," sighed the Sannin a bit reluctantly. Then she thought a little more about what he'd said after the word 'sorry'. "What do you mean, 'the other way around'?"
"That can wait," said Shikamaru. "For now, I believe we have some stories to tell."
0-0-0-0
Sasuke had a lot of information to deliver on Orochimaru, but not much otherwise. Shikamaru, of course, was just the opposite. Naruto popped in with some new detail he'd remembered every now and then, or corrected his friends when he thought they might be wrong. Shizune came back about halfway through the first story, reporting the message had been delivered.
The paperwork continued to get backed up.
Tsunade sat still for a few seconds after Shikamaru spoke his last sentence, then leaned back and exhaled deeply. She rubbed her cheeks wearily, suddenly feeling ready for a nap. "Alright, then," she said slowly, trying to fully comprehend all the information that had been thrown at her in the last three hours. Not as condensed as Naruto made things, which was both a good and a bad thing. Good in that there was more information to work with, bad in that there was more information to remember. "Here's what we'll do."
Shikamaru and Sasuke leaned forward slightly, while Naruto looked above her head, at the clock. -Come on...come on...-
Tsunade sat forward again, looking at Shikamaru, then Sasuke, then back again, and so on and so forth, directly in the eyes. "For now, we'll keep the same policy as with Naruto. Don't tell anyone without my express permission.. I tell you this for a various number of reasons that, if you're really curious about, you can ask our resident knucklehead." She puffed out a great breath of air, exhaling strongly for the second time. "You're all dismissed...I need some time to think."
"Right! Thanks!" shouted Naruto, who had gotten more and more anxious as time went on, so anxious he didn't even hear the 'knucklehead'. Understandable, considering he had wanted and gotten permission to not show up until late, and had still come at the beginning and stayed for the much-longer-than-he-expected whole thing. "See ya later!" And with these words, he dashed out the door , for he was afraid Tsunade was going to say something else that might keep him from his very important meeting. Or that would just get him in trouble somehow. That had happened before.
"...what he said," said Sasuke a bit more slowly in his words and in his steps, turning. "Only perhaps without so much enthusiasm." With these words, he reached the door as well.
Shikamaru watched to make sure the black-haired young man left before turning back to his, and the Village's, leader. "Being Hokage sure is tough sometimes, isn't it?"
"You have no idea," said Tsuande, rubbing her head while Shizune looked on in pity.
"Still, I'm afraid..." said Shikamaru, groaning slightly as he sat down because the kinks from standing up for three hours straight were still there in full force, "...I have one more favor to ask of you, m'lady."
Tsunade groaned much louder than Shikamaru did, covering her eyes with her hands. She massaged the area around the eyes for a short time before saying, "Alright. What's this whole thing you need me for about?"
"Well, you see..." said Shikamaru, smiling genuinely for what this timeline's Tsunade could honestly say was the first time she'd ever seen, "...there's this girl."
0-0-0-0
"There he is," said Kidōmaru, looking down on the village with eager anticipation and darker-than-the-usual-evildoer's bloodlust. The Leaf was very foolish, not cutting down the trees that reached higher than the walls. Or perhaps just too overwhelmed with bureaucracy. "Let's get him."
"Let's not," said Sakon, watching, along with the other three, Sasuke walking along the village streets, stopping to talk with one of his many admirers, relaxed and blissfully ignorant of the danger he was in.
"Why not?" asked Tayuya. "He's right there, you know. And besides, I'm tired as is. I'd really like to go back home."
Jirōbō shook his head. "Too many," he said. "We'd never get in that village and back out alive. There are just too many."
"Feh. I can handle a few Leaf ninja," Kidōmaru bragged. Perhaps with reason, perhaps without it.
"A few, yeah," pointed out Sakon, "But a whole village? I doubt it."
Tayuya exhaled sharply through her nose. "Alright, I get your stupid point."
"Tayuya..." warned Jirōbō.
The only female member of the Sound Four (formerly Sound Five) continued as if she hadn't heard. "So, we have to wait then?" She looked at Sakon. "Until he leaves the Village?"
"He'll get a mission eventually," said Sakon, leaning forward. "Maybe even a solo one. And then, when he steps out from the village, when he's unprotected except perhaps by a few ninja of his own skill level, and perhaps one more much more skilled one for a sensei..."
"We grab him," the spidery teenager finished. He laughed. "Alright, then, a waiting game it is! We have plenty of provisions to satisy our appetites..." And his eyes narrowed. "Until we can sate ourselves with his blood!"
They all chuckled evily as they leapt down and further outwards from the Village Hidden in the Leaves, preparing the ambush they were certain would eventually, inevitably, come.
So apparently Chōji ships ShikaIno. Who knew? Speaking of 'Shika', this chapter was originally supposed to focus on him, but it ended up being more between him, Sasuke, and Naruto. I'll leave it to you to determine whether that's a good thing or not.
Anyway, Omake that I literally just came up with! Hip hip hooray!
OMAKE #3
The first one that's not a deleted scene; this Omake's all about what could have happened had the Sound Four done something different when they saw exactly what Sasuke was up to. Nothing more, nothing less. And definitely not canon, even in the context of this non-canonical fanfic. Also, it has nothing to do with this chapter and everything to do with last one. First time that's happened.
0-0-0-0
"Your contact scroll is glowing," finished Kabuto, who was speaking to his lord and master, a very sick man at the moment. Physically, I mean. He was always sick in the head.
Orochimaru growled. "Well, then, open it!" he commanded.
"Right away, Lord Orochimaru," said Kabuto, doing so. He lay the scroll upon the floor in front of Orochimaru's throne.
An image, life-sized, of Sakon and Ukon slowly crackled, with much static, into being from the scroll. Wait...Ukon wasn't there? He had separated from his brother? -They must have been attacked,- thought Orochimaru, suddenly fearful of the fact he might not be getting his new body.
Sakon smiled, lifting up the plastic cup Orochimaru had just noticed was in his hand. Some reddish liquid spilled out. "Hey, Orochimaru!" said Sakon. And the one being spoken of noted the fact he didn't include the 'Lord'.
"What is it, Sakon?" asked Orochimaru, emphasizing each syllable to the best of his ability, as if to remind the Double-Man of his mistake.
"Yeah, well...it's like this..." began Sakon, scratching his chin. "The power and stuff you gave us was pretty cool and all, but, uh..." he shrugged. "Heh. We're kind of defecting to the Leaf Village. Sorry!"
"SORRY?" shouted Orochimaru. "WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON, SAKON?" Kabuto, meanwhile, stood in shock, wishing he could somehow teleport out of the room before things got worse, as somehow or other his legs wouldn't move.
"Don't get me wrong, we appreciate everything you've done for us," said Sakon as Tayuya passed by in the background, gyrating around the equally rotational body of Shino, who appeared to be smiling, though no one could be sure. "It's just that, well...Tsunade is a better leader than you are."
"WHAT?" screamed the snake, wishing dearly to do something to the person in front of him but knowing he could not. Kabuto's legs started working again as he fast-walked out of the room, an urgent look of "ohcrudohcrudohcrud" on his face.
"Seriously, she lets her shinobi have parties when they're off duty, how cool is that!" Sakon enthused. "Not to mention that, apparently, if you're in this village you don't get treated like pawns to be sacrificed. That doesn't sound like your average ninja village, but I guess it works...most of these guys are pretty strong..." he suddenly looked back, smiling. "And not bad dancers too, aren't you?" he shouted.
"Sakon," said Orochimaru, in a tone of barely-restrained-anger, "Tell me this is all some elaborate joke...you're a teenager. I can forgive a harmless prank...just tell me you're messing with me. Pulling my leg."
"I'm not pulling anything," Sakon responded, still looking back. "But I think Jirōbō might be trying to pull something." He shouted again: "Hey, you do know that's a dude, right, big guy?"
"Grr..." growled Orochimaru. "SAKON, YOU TRAITOR!" he screeched, loudly and high-pitched.
"Anyway, I just called as a last favor to my former employer, no need to thank me," said Sakon. "In exchange for being allowed to defect, we told them your location. They'll be there soon. Just a heads up."
"Wh-what?" asked Orochimaru, as various violent noises were heard echoing throughout his base. The snake was genuinely frightened for the first time since he saw the old man summon up that death spirit.
"See ya soon!" waved Sakon. "Assuming they take you alive!" and with this ominous and cheerful farewell, he was gone.
"Lord Orochimaru!" screamed Kabuto. "They have extra-long bo-staffs! On fire! Get out while you still...AAAAAAARGH!"
Orochimaru slumped in his chair, knowing there was no escape. "I hate everybody..." he mumbled.
0-0-0-0
As a side note that just occurred to me: Go Shikamaru's dad. Bow chicka wow wow and all that junk.
Also: if you think Shino and Tayuya would be a good couple, raise your hand!...right. Me neither. That'd be silly. Now Tayuya and Chōji, on the other hand...
Nah, I'm just kidding. Unless I get a massive number of reviews supporting the pairing or something. Seriously doubting that'll happen, though. Anyway, thanks for reading and God bless you all! See you next chapter...well, I hope so, anyway.