Hey, a quick question...why don't the carpet manufacturers make extra-thick carpeting, so one can go around their house barefoot and enjoy how soft the carpet is?
Uugh...hey there from a mildly exhausted AProcrastinatingWriter, with the much-delayed chapter nine of No Regrets this Time Around! Really, this chapter should have been done between two and four days ago, so what kept it? Well, nothing serious or very much personal, but I'd still rather not talk about it. At any rate, I'm finished now, and that's what's important...right?
A very serious note before I continue:if you are reading this author's note, please also read the one after this chapter once you are done with it. There are very important words written there concerning some writing I may have fumbled. (You mean like usual? Ha ha!) And the consequences, if I truly have badly written a certain part of this chapter, are going to be a lot worse than 'this character is OOC'. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I'll explain more, once again, at the chapter's end.
Well, despite that ominous warning, I hope that it will please you to enjoy the chapter!
CHAPTER NINE
SNEAK, SNEAK, SNEAK
-OR-
HOW TO SEE PAST THE INITIAL LAYER
It is the duty of a shinobi to never show emotion, no shinobi had ever managed to fulfill his duty since the very first, and it could be very plainly seen that Neji Hyuuga was no exception.
Neji's momentary breakdown was like an sudden explosion: powerful, effective, and unexpected, but instantaneous, leaving no trace of itself once it was gone. Only the things left destroyed by it to give witness to its existence. But then, perhaps it was a nuclear explosion, a small one, for there was fallout.
Tenten sat in the chair next to Neji in the hospital waiting room and held his hand gently, smiling and encouraging the young ninja in a way that made his heart tremble with joy. Still, he appearance was emotionless again, and seemed none the worse for his lapse. Yet somehow, his being perfectly normal now seemed to make the situation all the more tense for everyone else in the room. And things were tense enough already, what with Konoha's 'Handsome Devil' going under the knife at the moment.
So there they all sat, Neji with his eyes closed and slightly frowning. The 'correct' expression for his face to have. Tenten was smiling, talking to Neji enthusiastically, and he might occasionally respond with a grunt or a movement of the head and shoulders. Everyone else just kind of stared.
Shikamaru, of course, was staring for different reasons. -Neji seems wildly different, and that can only mean one thing.- He thought for a moment. -Well, it could mean more than one thing, yeah, but only one thing seems likely.- He chuckled to himself. -Look at me. Considering 'time travel' to be the most likely option in any situation Pretty sure I've finally gone absolutely insane. Either that or everyone else has. I'd accept either answer.- His mind began to wander into deeper subjects. Anything to avoid thinking about...things. -I wonder, if everyone else is insane, and you're sane, does that make you the insane one?- Shikamaru would swear he could almost hear Lee being cut into. His face cringed for a part-second. Deep thoughts on philosophy were pretty darn useless when your friends were in danger.
Neji had regained control of his emotions, and was thus able to watch the watchman. Halfway obviously, too, what with the veins sticking out all around the young man's eyes. Still, when people lacked that power themselves, it was hard to conceive of someone observing anything with their eyelids closed. -Everyone is staring at me. I cannot say I blame them. But Shikamaru's body language seems more relaxed than the others. He has spasms, moments when his muscles tighten, but they are always right after he glances in the direction of the operating room. That means he is more concerned with Lee than he is with me.- His eyebrows raised slightly. No one noticed. -As he should be.- A pause in his thoughts to better imagine what was going on in the operating room. Not much to imagine, considering he could see through the walls of the hospital. -I hope you pull through this, Lee.-
"You agree with me, right, Neji?" Tenten perkily asked, keeping her mind moving quickly. Just like everyone else, she didn't want to think about exactly what was going on right now with Lee.
Neji opened his right eye, looking at her without defenses or feints for just a moment. He then closed it again, grunting in response to something or other Tenten said about shopping and how it was really annoying and how she'd been dragged to some shop or another called Fashion Central this one time but had at least managed to get some new weapons out of the deal and wasn't that mace with the spikes coming off of its spikes a cool weapon and gosh darn it he had heard every word she'd said when he was trying to concentrate on people besides her.
Might Guy was perhaps most concerned of all the people there. Say what one might about him, none could ever claim he did not care for his students. Probably more enthusiastically than he should, however. -Lee is in surgery,- the sensei thought to himself. A few seconds of silence. -Neji has fallen apart right in front of me.- Some more wordless thoughts, certainly not empty ones. -And Tenten's trying to keep everything together.- He shook his head a little, sighing. -And I don't think I can do a thing about it. I don't think I could even if I actually knew what I should be doing.- The sigh became deeper. -Some sensei I am.-
-What am I supposed to do?- thought Ino. -What do you say to someone in a situation like this?- The possibility Lee might not get through things stayed firmly implanted in the back of her mind, held there by her frantic and worrisome thoughts of what to say to Lee once he did wake up. Would he be depressed? Optimistic? Looking for encouragement? Angry? -I don't know what to do...- Her thoughts were beginning to loop back in on themselves.
And then, everyone simply descended into an introspective silence. Tenten's smile finally dropped as she looked at Neji, waiting and waiting for any response, any acknowledgment at all, besides the occasional monosyllabic sentence. She had the most horrible feeling she was waiting in vain. Ino's mind skipped back and forth between her own problems, which she was trying to think about, and Lee's, which she wasn't. And, of course, Tenten, Neji, and Guy were on pins and needles for their teammate's sake, and felt they had no defense if they were to fall from their precarious position. A gloom was across the group, and a heavy one at that.
Suddenly, a gurgling noise was heard. Everyone, with a blink, turned to its source. Chōji blinked down at his stomach once, then scratched his cheek, sheepish. "Sorry. That was my stomach." He patted his great balloon-like belly a couple times. "I guess I'm a little bit hungrier than I thought I was, huh?"
Another few seconds of silence, and then suddenly everyone burst out laughing (except Neji, who merely chuckled). The spell of somberness that hospitals always seemed to put upon a person, for good reason or otherwise, had been broken. Suddenly, everyone felt a lot better about Lee's chances of survival.
Everyone relaxed now, and looked a little more open to discussion. Still nervous for the outcome of course, but also very much more at ease than one coming back in from their leaving, say, ten minutes ago, would ever expect. Also, Chōji was able to get some snacks from a nearby vending machine, and that always improved his mood.
0-0-0-0
"So, then," Kakashi smiled down at his students. "Have I made myself clear?"
Sakura looked visibly disturbed, pale, and shaking. Sasuke had long ago placed his head in his hands, pressing his fingers into his ears and wishing for the first, last, and only time in his life that he had chubby fingers so that he could block what Kakashi was saying. "Clear as crystal," both Sasuke and Sakura miserably said, the edge of their sanity cutting deeply into their voices.
They had tried to protest at first, telling Kakashi it was a misunderstanding. And, against all odds, he had actually believed them and every word they said...once they got calmed down enough to tell him rationally, that is. But he didn't believe them when they told him they weren't boyfriend and girlfriend, and so, like any responsible adult, he decided to inform them of exactly what they could and could not do as boyfriend and girlfriend under his care while they were still this young.
Exactly what they could and couldn't do. In vivid detail.
Sasuke, being twenty-two of age mentally, was rather unaffected by the descriptions in and of themselves, but the fact that they were coming from Kakashi Hatake somehow made them ten times as disturbing and sorrowful. But then, of course, came the coup de grace; a girl sitting next to him, whose cheeks had somehow managed to turn pinker than her hair. She was, of course, only twelve mentally. Perhaps a little more, perhaps a little less. But no matter how you looked at it, though she might have been prepared for some of this information, or perhaps even all of it cut up into bite-sized pieces, (heck, might have even found it interesting had that route been taken!) she wasn't prepared for this. Honestly, it was kind of hard to be prepared for this. A lot of kind of hard to prepare for this.
In summation: Sasuke was rather miserable and Sakura was rather blank, emotional-wise. Probably traumatized. Definitely wishing she was somewhere else. And Kakashi was smiling. "Glad to hear it," he said, far too cheerfully to actually be a sane human being. "Well, then. Do either of you have any questions you'd like to ask?"
Mr. Long Silence was back, and he had brought along his wife, Mrs. Awkward Silence. They really made quite the lovely pair.
-No!- thought Sasuke, trying his darndest to push his mental words down his brain stem and spinal cord, then bring his head up sharply so as to toss them from his mouth and create noise. He, of course, did not succeed. Must have mistimed the turning of his neck. -We don't have any questions! Not one! Not if you paid me, not if my life depended on it, not if I fell victim to Tsukuyomi and was ordered to ask another question to make the torture stop, a thousand upon a thousand times NO!-
Mr. and Mrs. Silence had begun to overstay their welcome.
Kakashi happily kicked them out. "Well, if you two curious youngsters really don't have any questions," And the copy-nin shrugged, egging his students on, "I suppose our talk is over."
His two students groaned, slumping, as if they were disappointed instead of being the exact opposite. "Thank goodness," Sakura lamented, slowly beginning to recover from her ordeal.
"I thought we'd never get through all that," Sasuke responded.
"Although," Kakashi pretended to think, "Perhaps, for when you get older, I should let you both know about all the different forms of contraception that ex-"
"NO!" Sakura and Sasuke managed to finally cry, standing up as quickly as possible and mentally preparing to run off into the woods. They could survive on berries if they had to.
Kakashi chuckled softly. "Well, then, if you insist," he said. -Looks like everything worked out just as I expected it would.- Another chuckle, still too soft to hear. "You are both free to leave."
-Man, was that ever a nightmare...- Sakura thought, as she and the revenge-obsessed boy next to her began dragging themselves back to the Village. Although we did get some pretty useful information... her inner responded mischievously. -Sasuke. Why did you have to use the word 'seduce'?-
-Why did I come back to this village again?- the young Sasuke thought, a little angry. For once, he wasn't trying to ditch the flower-hearted girl walking next to him, but he probably would have been if he'd been able to think clearly. -I'd forgotten how weird Kakashi could get. I mean, was he trying embarrass us or some...- he stopped in his tracks.
Sakura did the same after a few steps. "Hmm?" she asked, almost back to her normal self. Ninjas had quick recovery times from all but the worst traumas. TKakashi delivering the facts of life wasn't quite the worst trauma, though it came close. "What's up, Sasuke?"
Sasuke was shaking with some undefinable emotion. Oh wait, yes it was definable, as both the people nearby were able to tell when he looked up again. "YOU!" he shouted, pointing with anger (aforementioned definable emotion) to a certain mysterious grey-haired ninja.
"Hmm?" Kakashi asked, unfazed. "Who, me?" and he pointed at himself.
"YEAH!" Sasuke shouted. "You did this all on purpose, didn't you?"
"What do you mean?" asked Kakashi, inflected slightly more differently than he usually would.
"You told all this to embarrass us to death, not to put any kind of 'ground rules' in place!" Sasuke threw his hand into the air, the brought it back down quickly, slapping his palm against his side as he said this.
Sakura "eep"ed. "Kakashi-sensei, is that true?" she asked, or rather shouted, because she was angry now too. She very much wished she was taller, so she could effectively whack her teacher upside his head. And she wouldn't regret it, either.
"Heh, heh," Kakashi chuckled yet again, this time making sure that everyone heard it loud and clear. "A little of column A, a little of column B? Is that what they call it?" he false-questioned as his students' jaws hit the floor. "Ah, well, it really doesn't matter, does it?" He turned, waving. "Catch you both tomorrow! Have a good yet-another day off!" He would have found Naruto and forced him to train, too, so that everyone could, but as far as he knew, the blonde boy was still in bed, resting. His other two students looked like they could use a break from reality too, as a matter of fact. Perfect. "I'll make sure to tell you both plenty more the next time I catch you two sneaking around behind my back." And with this, Kakashi Hatake leapt up into the trees and rapidly disappeared from sight, leaving a couple of very shocked and talkless preteens behind him.
They stared after their teacher, guardian, and embarrassment for many moments in which they would later wish they could have spent somewhere else. Not at the moment, though, because at the moment they couldn't really think. At all.
Sakura, being the more intelligent (though only arguably the smarter) of the two, recovered first. "This is all your fault, Sasuke!" Also, her inability to resist her bouts of misplaced anger helped.
"Me?" Sasuke shouted right back. "You're the one who kissed me!"
Kakashi, meanwhile, had not actually left quite yet, despite appearances, and was instead watching from a nearby treetop in a different direction, making sure nothing funny was going to happen in his absence. "Yeah, well, you're the one who had to go and tell everybody about it!" Sakura defended herself. Quite well, actually.
-Ah, young love,- Kakashi thought, entranced in thoughts of Spring.
0-0-0-0
Down the hallway, a door creaked open. The group of six, five concerned friends and one concerned father-figure, looked up from their conversing. The worry was back in full force, and the few seconds in between their looking up and Tsunade exiting the doorway seemed to stretch on into infinity's furthest length and depth.
But after the foreverspan, and a little more, Tsunade exhaled the breath she had been holding. A smile slowly formed on her face as she turned to the group. "Great news, everyone," and several people smiled themselves, knowing what was coming. "Lee is going to be just fine!"
A great cheer went ringing up the hallway. Quickly pursued by Might Guy, whose monstrous speed could almost actually catch up with that cheer. "LEE!" he cried, overjoyed.
"Woah, there, big guy!" Tsunade stopped him with her palm, laughing just a little. "Lee is fine, but he needs rest now. And a lot of it." She sighed, faking exhaustion while she removed her hand from a now-sulking Guy's chest. "But, then again, from what I've heard and witnessed so far, he'll probably be up and attempting to train as soon as I finish this sentence." Though the nature of her claim was joking, Tsunade actually re-opened the door she had just come from and looked inside again, as if it were suddenly occurring to her that what she was saying might actually be true.
Guy gripped his Hokage by the shoulders. Any other situation, and this would be deemed inappropriate and out of character for him. "So,when do I get to see my protege again,? I have to know!" His neck seemed to unnaturally stretch as he shouted his next sentence. "I HAVE TO KNOW!"
"Okay, then! Guy-sensei?" Tenten grabbed her teacher by the arm, embarrassedly dragging him away from the much-flummoxed Sannin.
"Well, uh..." Tsuande blinked a couple times, then seemed to regain control of her muscles. "Lee should be fine for visitors by the end of the day." The leader of the Village Hidden in the Leaves showed her teeth, turning the smile she wore into an outright grin that accessorized very nicely with her surgical mask, now worn dangling around her neck like some great awkward necklace. "You'll all throw another party for him, right?" she asked. Shikamaru noted the awkward change in subject.
While he did that, he also sweatdropped. Everyone sweatdropped. Except for Ino. "That's a great idea!" she shouted, her first complete sentence in nearly an hour. Not her usual level of talkativeness at all. Almost like some chunk of food, tough to chew and impossible to swallow, had been keeping her tongue otherwise occupied for some time. Definitely not anymore, though. "We could invite everyone we know, and put up flowers everywhere, like tulips or maybe lilies or maybe some desert flowers if we want to be exotic, you know what I mean, and then Lee could be the guest of honor and a lucky girl would win the chance to dance with him, and hey, maybe you could participate this time, Lady Tsuande? I mean, after all-"
"Ino! Ino! Ino!" Tsunade cried desperately. -You know, between her and Guy, I'm starting to wish I were back at the office doing paperwork.- A pause. -Weeeell, maybe things aren't that bad yet.-
"What is it, Lady Tsuande?" Ino asked, as everyone else was 'suddenly' standing a few more feet than usual away from her and her excited nature.
"I was just joking," Tsunade clarified. "Lee's in no position to be dancing at the moment. That's what aggravated his injury in the first place, remember?"
"Oh...right..." Ino said. "Of course!" She turned away. -Great. I'm losing my opportunity with every single available guy my own age!- She was, of course, speaking (or, rather, thinking) of her idea, carefully placed in the very middle of her rant and said as quickly as possible, to give Lee as a contest prize to one lucky girl for one dance that night. One very special dance, because Ino was certain that her feminine wiles and beauty would be more than sufficient to turn any guy into a lovesick puppy if they danced with her. Of course, whether she was right or not, the important thing was that she was even considering dating Rock Lee, who (in her mind) was the be-all and end-all of undesirable boys, even more so than Naruto.
Ino lifted her sulking head and saw Shikamaru. He was looking at her, thin eyebrow lifted higher upon his forehead, analyzing her. He was suspicious. And perhaps she was reading too much into it, unconsciously seeking more guilt to add onto the pile, but he seemed disappointed in her. She remembered her promise to give him some time; so that he could get her a boyfriend, and cringed. So, basically, by seeking out Lee, she was telling Shikamaru she didn't trust him. Not to mention the fact that she was basically confirming everything he had said about her and wanting 'a boyfriend', not 'the boyfriend'. And she knew, looking at her shadow-using friend's face, that he knew every bit of that as well.
Of course, this was all simply what she was thinking. In reality, Shikamaru was just a little confused about why she was acting this way. He knew Ino was perhaps the most stereotypically teenage of their entire group; seeing drama where there was none and blaming any and all of it on either A) herself, or B)everyone except herself, but what he didn't even begin to comprehend was exactly what she was being so judgmental on herself about. And that was even presuming she was undergoing A right now, like she appeared to be. And, knowing a tiny bit about how teenaged girls think, he decided that he did not wish to know, either. "It's good to hear that Lee's okay," Shikamaru said, finally breaking the uncomfortable silence.
"Yeah, it really is great news!" smiled Tenten, the first really happy smile all day. "I was so worried about him." She looked adorably (-Stop thinking that,- thought Neji) confused and a little worried again, frowning and tilting her head a very large amount to the side, buns bobbing as she did so. "He...is going to be okay, right? I mean, there's no side effects or anything, are there? Please say no."
Tsunade shook her own head, still smiling. "Not a one," a pause Shikamaru noted, "Well, as long as he gets all the bedrest he's supposed to, anyway," And she glared at the door, as if somehow Lee could see this visual warning, or even hear her threat.
"That is excellent to hear," Neji said. Like Ino, this was the first complete sentence to proceed from his mouth in about an hour. Unlike Ino, however, this wasn't out of character for him. What he did next, however, was. A smile, and a bow, and a note of gratitude in his voice. "Thank you very much, Lady Tsunade, for giving my teammate back his life," he straightened, "And for giving us back our teammate." Then, having noticed something in the way his body moved (besides this infernal stiffness in his muscles that made him feel like he was made of stone instead of the gentle breeze he usually felt like) he looked down at his hand.
Tenten was still holding his hand. He stared at it, and she stared at him. Most everyone stared at Neji, who had shown yet another display of emotion. A much smaller one this time, though, and perhaps a bit more understandable than his breakdown earlier. Finally: "Oh!" Tenten almost yelped, blushing and drawing her hand back from Neji's. "Sorry about that!"
Neji's smile grew neither smaller, nor larger. "It's alright," he said. Almost gently.
"Anyway," Chōji said, "Back to the point at hand LAdy Tsunade...we know Lee is gonna pull through and all, but..." He frowned a little, stroking his chin. "How 'well' is he gonna pull through?" Apparently Shikamaru wasn't the only one to notice Tsuande acting a little off.
Everyone looked to the master healer with expectation. Guy most of all, shivering and biting his fingernails. No one was sure why, as Tsunade had already confirmed that things were going well with Lee. So, there was no real reason at all to be scared. Yep. No reason at all.
"Well," Tsunade stopped smiling. "That's a little harder to say. I mean, I know I said-"
"You said he was gonna be just fine!" Ino shouted at her Kage, an offense that might have gotten her killed in some other Hidden Villages. "No side effects!"
"I know I did, and I still think he will be, and I still know there won't be!" Tsunade smiled, eager to console. Still, as soon as she said this, she was back to frowning again and running her thumbnail across her bottom lip, not quite scratching, because there wasn't quite an itch there. "But just because the surgery isn't going to cause any problems in and of itself doesn't mean the recovery won't be difficult."
"Give it to me straight, doc," Guy said, trembling all over. "Is Lee really going to be able to make it?"
"I have no doubt," Tsunade said, still reassuring. Finally, she lay her cards upon the table, and for once in her gambling life wished she didn't have so many trumps. "What my concern is is whether or not Lee is going to be able to become the same ninja he was before."
A long, strong, and very wrong silence spoke its mind at this point, shattering everyone's hearts and minds with its logic and reason.
"But, you said..." Chōji started. A pause. Then, he continued: "This whole surgery was all about Lee getting his life as a shinobi back, right?"
"And he will get it back," Tsunade said, looking away not out of shame or sorrow but simply in contemplation, "What I can't say is to what extent. I don't know..." she sighed. "I don't know if he'll ever be as strong a ninja as he once was."
Another silence. And by everything bright and wonderful, was it ever deafening. "Is there anything we can do?" Neji finally asked, stepping forward a little.
"Don't let him know, first of all," Tsunade said, turning to look at Lee's room. "He'll overexert himself trying to make himself better," she smiled. Then, this occurred to her: "Also, don't let him overexert himself. And for goodness sake," she turned back to the group, standing as befitting a Hokage. "Believe in him. That is an order to all of you: believe in him like you never have before." She closed her eyes, smiling.. "That way, you don't have to worry about him."
"Worry? Who, me? The most youthful and powerful Green Beast of the Hidden Leaf Village?" Guy gleamed, put up his thumb, placed his hand on his hip. "I have never even considered such a thing! Not even for a moment! You can believe that, one-hundred percent!"
A short silence. A lot of those seemed to be occurring lately.
"Guy-sensei," Tenten said, "Your knees are still shaking."
"Wh-what? Of course they are!" Guy asked, startled, then backpedaled. "It's because I'm so excited! Lee is going to recover soon, and he's going to become an excellent ninja! Just like he always wanted!"
"You know," Chōji pointed out, always wishing to help, "He doesn't have to be the perfect ninja. Heck, he doesn't have to be a ninja at all." He smiled. "Far as I can tell, he's already proven he can be an awesome shinobi!"
Neji shook his head. "Your words are appreciated, but," he looked at the rotund ninja, "I don't believe we can convince Lee of their truth." -Or Guy, for that matter,- he whispered to himself. A mental begrudging: -Who knows? Perhaps they are even right?-
"What's that saying?" Shikamaru spoke up. "It never rains but it pours, right?" He blinked his blink. "Hmm. Well, speaking of rain," and he turned and began walking towards the front doors, "I have a date with a cloud, and since I know Lee's okay,-"
"Hold it right there, Shikamaru," Tsunade ordered.
-Exactly as I hoped,- Shikamaru thought. -I was able to remind Tsunade of our situation without drawing attention to myself.- Out loud, as he turned, he said a single word: "Yes?"
Tsunade turned as well, indicating for him to follow as she spoke. "I wish to speak with you in private." A raised eyebrow at one of the room's other young occupants. "You too, Neji."
"As you wish, Lady Hokage," Neji bowed slightly, following after her. Shikamaru eventually followed too.
"Wait a second," Might Guy looked thoughtful. "Lady Tsunade, I don't recall anything happening on any of our missions recently, so why do you need to talk to-"
Tsunade turned back for just a moment. "What's the matter, Guy? Worried?" And she turned and began walking away again.
Guy started, suddenly concerned. "What do I have to be worried about?" His voice was quiet, but no one else was talking, so Tsunade was able to hear.
"Oh, just the fact that I'm giving classified information to the Genin under your control and not you," Tsunade ribbed, waving back at Guy as her two confidantes exchanged bemused and confused glances. "Oh, well. I'm sure you'll be useful to the village at least a little longer!"
"GAAAAAAH!" Guy screamed breathily.
0-0-0-0
It had only been one day or two of watching so far. Why had it felt like an eternity?
Waiting for Sasuke to receive a mission (OR even just to go outside the village for any reason at all) was simply maddening. After all, Sasuke may have been their primary target and their watchee, but the Sound Four really did have to keep an eye on everyone as best as they could. Impossible to be too careful in a city full of ninjas, after all.
Still, none of them ever felt quite comfortable splitting the party, as much as they tried to hide it whenever they did. But logic always prevailed, and their splitting up temporarily was the logical thing to do. Four different people watching four different parts of the city at once was much more efficient than them sticking together all the time, after all. Well, as long as everyone was stealthy. If even one got caught, everything would fall apart. So everyone had to watch carefully, and wait. And it should have been easy and painless to do so, especially considering that the Four were Orochimaru-trained shinobi.
But everyone in the Hidden Leaf Village was just so flippin' happy all the time.
There was that Naruto kid, Sasuke's incompetent little teammate, walking down the street, holding the hand of a sickeningly pretty little girl in a blue dress. Everyone passing looked on in mild confusion, or disapproval, or something, but they all got over it quickly enough. Right back to being happy like usual.
Naruto Uzumaki. Incompetent extraordinaire. Wasn't he supposed to be in love with that stupid-thinks-she's-smart-pink-haired girl? Sakura, right, Sasuke's other teammate. With teammates like that, it was very hard to comprehend why Sasuke wouldn't want to leave. And yet he didn't. In defiance of everything Orochimaru had said about the Uchiha, he had chosen to stay in this village and be happy like everyone else. As if there was actually anything in the world to be happy about!
And that Naruto kid. That smile that people swore they could see from further away than his orange and blue jumpsuit. Good grief, OBVIOUS much? Like the most obvious ninja ever. No way he'd ever be a threat to anyone. And he was annoying, too. What was really annoying about him at the moment was that he was holding the hand of this girl. This pretty little thing. Definitely not Sakura Haruno.
Actually, 'definitely not Sakura Haruno' looked rather familiar. Was that...no way. That was the freakin' Hyuuga heiress! That shy, weak pampered little thing! Why was she holding hands with that little punk? What possible force, earthly or from the depths of hell, could possibly drive these two into being sweethearts?
Didn't she know how much of a buffoon he was?
Oh, for criminy's sake, he was grinning. Some stupid idea or another had begun swirling around in his head, hadn't it? Pulling that Hyuuga girl close, sudden, dancing ballroom style to music that didn't exist. Everyone around was staring, and she was blushing and smiling and he was laughing and everyone was happy. Morons. This entire stupid freakin' village was comprised of nothing but morons!
They stopped dancing, and he bowed and she curtsied, and they both laughed and everyone went about their business, a little more confused than they had been a second ago. Some applauded. Naruto and Hinata stepped towards each other again, intertwining both their hands and kissing each other. A quick peck, then they drew themselves away again, staring into each other's eyes. Small smiles, contented, on their faces. Staying like that for several moments, not giving a rat's rear who might happen to pass by and see them.
And Tayuya just wanted to stab them both through their adorable little hearts.
0-0-0-0
Tsuande stopped just around the corner, taking a look around the halls to be certain that no one was listening in. "Alright, then, I think we're clear." She looked down on her two co-conspirators. "Shikamaru, do you care to do the honors?"
"What is this all about?" asked Neji before Shikamaru could say anything (an easy feat). He actually had a little more than a very good idea what this was all about, but it never hurt to be certain.
"Neji. That dream you spoke of earlier." Shikamaru tried to think of the best way to say things. "We have reason to believe that it may not have actually been a dream."
Shikamaru had the Hyuuga's full attention now. Whether he was speaking of what Neji thought he was or not. "Really?"
"Indeed," continued Tsunade. Almost like a bad-cop-good-cop routine. Except with two good cops. Weird. "If it isn't too traumatic for you, would you possibly be willing to recount exactly what happened in your dream?"
Neji smiled, a little bit. He felt a bit more free to be himself now that he had nearly confirmed his suspicions. And himself, right now, was feeling almost maddeningly happy considering the glorious events that had unfolded today. Hence the extremely small smile on his face. "If you two are getting at what I think you are, I shan't need to say much. Madara attacked the Leaf Village, and then I found myself back here within it." He shrugged. "I'm sure you've gone over the details at least three or four times already, Lady Tsunade."
"I certainly have," she responded, smiling to see that a new, kinder, and a little bit happier Neji had not been destroyed ten years from now, and was indeed standing before her today. And frowning on the inside because: -And I'm going to have to hear that same old story all over again. How many times is this going to happen?-
Shikamaru smiled as well, clapping his friend on the shoulder. "Hey, man! How's ten years past been treatin' you?"
"Troublesomely," Neji responded, a mocking edge to his voice. Unknown to Neji, it hurt Shikamaru a little to hear this joke, but of course the shadowman did not let on to this fact in the slightest. If Neji had known, he'd have been impressed at Shikamaru's display of emotional falsity. Horrified, but impressed. "Still, the worst of it appears to be over for now," he looked plaintive, "And there certainly do seem to be benefits to this whole arrangement."
"Yes, I believe you were holding hands with one of those 'benefits' a couple minutes ago?" Tsunade teased, smirking with a single eyebrow raised. Feeling more comfortable treating these 'kids' as the adults and equals they apparently were. And therefore not above shooting a barb at them every now and then.
Not that this was the appropriate time for this to happen. Shikamaru and Neji looked at their Hokage, slightly confused. Not the reaction she was expecting. "Uh, Tenten and Neji are kinda married in the future, Lady Tsunade. Remember?" Shikamaru awkwardly reminded his usually-not-this-forgetful leader..
The Legendary Sucker sweatdropped, blinking rapidly while her mouth fell open weirdish and she made some strange noises, similar to but not quite laughter. "Ohhoho...you, you didn't tell me that, Shikamaru."
Neji looked at Shikamaru with pursed lips and an expression in his eyes and brows that just screamed 'way to go, slugger' in a very sarcastic tone of voice. Even future-Neji was not normally this expressive, but things were odd today. "Huh," Shikamaru said, unresponsive to Neji's glare. "Could have sworn I did."
Tsunade sighed. -Well, this is great. Even more awkwardness to deal with.- A disturibing thought. -Wait, so does this mean that they're still married, now? As thirteen-year-olds?- Then, aloud, to avoid any more uncomfortabilities: "Alright. Neji, Shikamaru, I'm going to want you to meet with me after your training today. We have a lot to talk about concerning future events. She thought for a moment more. "And so do Naruto and Sasuke. Inform them of the meeting as well."
"Understood, m'lady," Shikamaru bowed.
"Yes. Of course," Neji bowed as well.
"Very good," Tsunade said, moving past them both rather quickly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a drink." She said the last part under her breath, of course.
Not that that stopped the other two adults there from hearing. "Heh," Shikamaru chuckled. "That figures." He breathed out, not quite a sigh. "So, seriously now, how you holding up?" Shikamaru asked, concerned, especially considering..well. Several factors.
Neji thought for a moment. "I am uncertain," he said, sounding surprised at this answer himself.
"How so?" Shikamaru asked. Not as if he believed that Neji shouldn't feel that way, but because he sincerely wanted to know exactly the reason or reasons why.
"Everything is still odd for me," Neji said, looking at a faraway point that probably didn't even exist in this timeline. "I see all these faces, and I hear these stories, and it makes sense, and it doesn't, and I keep getting this headache, and my memories seem disjointed." Rambling wasn't like Neji, either. Despite his happy exterior, he seemed off on the inside. In support of this theory, he held his head for a moment, attempting to stop the flow of information streaming from his mouth, but unable to. The words were creating too much pressure in his mind; they had to escape or he'd melt down again. "I have them all back, I think, but the ones from the future and the ones from the past couple of days are all so fuzzy around the edges I can't be certain."
"Fuzzy?" repeated Shikamaru, suddenly worried.
"That is the best word I can think of to describe it," Neji explained, bringing his head back up and looking down at his hands, pivoting them on their wrists a few times.
"Think you'll be okay?" Shikamaru asked. He wasn't really expecting Neji to answer straight, thinking the man who hid his emotions would be all too eager to hide symptoms of sickness as well.
"I'm not certain," Neji subverted Shikamaru's expectations. Then again, today he seemed very different from the man he usually was. Overly-emotional, one might say. But then, Shikamaru had noted all that before, several times. Still, somehow, he always forgot to take it into account. "The world has changed for me, Shikamaru. For you." He looked his impromptu and amateur therapist straight in the eyes. "How on Earth have you dealt with it all? With such ease?"
This last sentence seemed to throw the young man's genius I.Q,, as he paused, blink absent, for several seconds, eyes slowly drifting downwards and away, unable to focus on anything more complex than floorboards while considering Neji's question. "You know what?" he finally whispered. Neji prepared himself, getting the feeling he wouldn't like the answer. He was right, but not for the expected reasons. "I honestly have no idea."
0-0-0-0
-Ah, home sweet home,- Kakashi thought, much later in the day, stepping into his relatively modest apartment. -How I have missed you these past few days.- Though ninja were used to spending large amounts of time away from home, and Mr. Hatake was no exception, for some reason the salt-and-pepper-haired man had felt unusually homesick on his last few missions, which had had practically no breaks between them.
He wasn't sure, really, why he liked this house of his, well, this room of his so much. It wasn't familiarity; he hardly spent any time here. It wasn't comfort; he had purchased only the barest minimum of things for himself, preferring to spend the rest on pure and wholesome reading and roses (from 'a secret admirer') for the more unappreciated girls of the Hidden Leaf Village. It wasn't because he was a person who preferred to be alone; he knew plenty of places outside the house to be alone in. More comfortable sleeping quarters, too. No sentimental or financial ties to the place, so what was it?
Well, time to ponder philosophy later. Or psychology, or whatever you wanted to call it. Right now, Kakashi had decided, he was going to serve himself up a bowl of miso soup. With eggplant, of course. If he could find some in this house. After that, he would curl up with a respectable book and spend the rest of the evening reading it. A pure 'day off'. A thought occurred to him, and he sniffed his armpit. "Ugh. Maybe I should shower first." Well, either way, Kakashi slowly moved his fingers up towards his mask.
"Achoo," sneezed someone, very softly, from the shadows of the room.
Kakashi snapped his fingers from his mask, and slightly more slowly (but not by much) moved his hand down to grab a kunai from his pouch, holding it in a defensive position. Any ninja who noticed this would realize that he was actually more scared of someone seeing him maskless than he was of being attacked. "Alright," Kakashi said, angry. Or at least, putting on the angry face that the situation called for. "Come out in the open. Who are you? How did you get past my traps?"
"Sheez, calm down, it's just me" said Anko, stepping forward and out of the corner she'd been concealing herself in. That smile Kakashi knew all too well was on her face. "Don't be so angry. Though I gotta tell ya, the traps were pretty darn easy to get past. All the dust in here, not so much." She rubbed her finger under her nose, sniffling a little. "I mean, seriously, do you ever clean around here?"
"Anko," Kakashi grumbled, putting down his kunai with something much like reluctance. "Sneaking into my house. Why am I surprised?" He shook his head. "I assume you have a good reason for being here?"
"'Course I do!" Anko grinned. "I was gonna finally see what you look like without that mask of yours!"
"Sure it was just the mask?" Kakashi pointed out. "I notice you didn't exactly rush out to stop me from removing the rest of my clothes when I said I was going to take a shower."
"That was just the bonus, hot stuff!" Anko's grin grew ever larger. She opened one eye to look at Kakashi, then frowned, looking away. Much like a child might upon being told she couldn't have something she wanted. "Don't give me that look. You're the one who reads pornography in public."
Kakashi sighed deeply, deciding to cut to the heart of the matter. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't call the ANBU Black Ops to come pick you up." In response to this, Anko almost instantly (And also calmly. Her speed had nothing to do with fear or panic.) held up an envelope in front of Kakashi's face, intending to let it hang there for several seconds as a punctuation to how wrong he was in his assumptions. Of course, she didn't count on his short attention span: "Hmm? What's this?" he asked, sincerely, almost half a second after Anko raised up her hand.
Anko took her turn at grumbling as Kakashi grabbed the envelope away from her, tearing it open, as it was obviously meant for him. "Marching orders," Anko recovered in style. "You and your brats got a mission tomorrow. C-Rank. Something about meeting in the morning to discuss the details."
Kakashi read over the note a second time to make sure he had not missed anything vital. "Alright," he said, sounding genuinely excited. "It's been a while since my team's had a real mission." He chuckled. "And maybe it's just me, but I think we could all stand to work off some energy!" He outright laughed at this.
"Eh, whatever," Anko shrugged, heading towards the door. "My mission's complete, at any rate. Good luck on yours, see ya round, yadda yadda-"
SPLASH. Drip, drip, drip.
Kakashi allowed himself a single 'heh' at the sight before him, and then brought the note back up to eye level. "You didn't get past all the traps, did you?" asked Kakashi, holding back the laughter in his voice as he deadpannedly reread the letter from Lady Tsunade.
Anko blushed, angry and embarassed, as she slowly pulled the bucket off her head, water dripping from her now-clinging clothes and hair. "I'm gonna get you for this someday, Hatake," she threatened simply as she continued opening the door, taking Kakashi's bucket with her as a useless act of revenge as she left.
"Ooh, last name basis," Kakashi continued talking complacently, with a small titter, as if she weren't there. "That means you're really angry. And I'm certain you'll still be just as angry tomorrow." He stared at the note for a few moments before sitting down on his well-used comfy couch, looking up to the ceiling. "This'll be good for them," he said to himself. "Getting out of the Village. Staying cooped up here too long can make you act strange."
Outside the window and from a distance, a two-headed figure suddenly grinned a scythe-like grin. Then, with a flash of nothing and darkened chuckle, he was no longer there. Just as he was certain neither Sasuke nor his teammates would be there tomorrow. Quicker results than he'd been expecting, too. Yes, things were finally beginning to look up for Sakon and the Sound Four.
But the strange thing is, when you look up, you expose your throat to attack.
0-0-0-0
Rock Lee awoke again. The same hospital ceiling as always, that same familiar pain in his left half, though now admittedly much decreased. He had the good doctors and nurses of this hospital to thank for that. And, since they seemed to know what they were doing, the apprentice and idolizer of Might Guy had followed their orders, staying in bed all day and dozing off and on, and good gracious, he was bored. How was he supposed to get better if he could not train?
Lee sat up in bed, covers falling off of his bedrobed chest. Lee always slept in a bedrobe. Sleeping in the same gear you trained in seemed weird, and he never felt comfortable sleeping in his boxers. Or lack thereof. -Perhaps tomorrow I shall be well enough to train again?- He thought to himself, wistful. -I certainly do hope so.-
Some part, deep inside Lee, needed to train. And the rest of Lee had no idea what he wanted to do, so of course the part that knew what it needed to do had free reign. Not a bad thing, necessarily, but it left the bowl-cut bruiser at a loss for what to do whenever it was simply not physically possible for him to train. He knew there had to be something, but what?
He'd tried romance. A young man was supposed to date a special girl whom he would protect and cherish, to find the one true love of his youthful life! -That is what Guy-sensei told me, at the very least.- His brows shifted. Very noticeable. -And Guy-sensei is always right. But how exactly does one go about wooing their special someone?- He'd tried with Sakura, still occasionally tried with Sakura. Never really succeeded with Sakura, though.
Lee shifted in his bed, leaning his body up against the wall it lay next to. He thought a little more, sighed, shook his head. -I really do not know what else to do with my time. Lady Tsunade said that I may never quite regain the complete ability I formerly had as a ninja.- Irrational thoughts and fears sunk their talons into his imagination. -Is this, perhaps, her way of saying I shall never be a ninja again after all? Even though I had the operation?- He shook his head. -No, no! You must not think that! You must have faith, faith that you will pull through this!-
He felt this way for a little bit, and then, the doubts came back. Horrible little things that engorge themselves upon your creativity and willpower and will not go away no matter what methods you try. -I hope I can pull through this. If not, I do not believe my body shall be able to handle my training as it has in the past.- He paused in his thoughts. -So then what shall I do when I am not training?- And so the cycle started again.
But all cycles, though infinite from a technical term, eventually end, and this one did as Lee suddenly, corner of his eye, saw someone lying in a bed next to his own, several feet away from him. -Someone else?- Lee thought. -They were not here before I last went to sleep.- He looked closer, trying to fix an image of this person in his mind.
The girl (he was surprised it was a girl) was about his age, from the look of her, or at least what Lee could tell with her hospital gown. She was slightly built, and her breasts still seemed to be forming, though perhaps she was simply small in stature. She was short, too, very petite all around. The leaf shinobi headband next to her on a nearby table indicated she was a kunoichi. Probably injured in the line of battle.
Her brunette hair was light in shade, but only at the roots. As her hair proceeded onward, onward, onward, to the end of its length, a very short length, it darkened ashier and ashier and ashier, until finally it became soot black, uneven, and thoroughly messed. Her brow was creased, her eyebrows missing, and her face had a scowl upon it, though it was hard to tell if this was because of her attitude or simply a natural result of the great unnatural twistings and layerings of her skin, which was almost patchwork and reddend in appearance. Her eyes sank inwards slightly, their spark within gone, if there was indeed ever any there at all. Her nose was out of joint, her mouth nearly disappearing under all the skin grafts.
No matter which direction you approached it from, she looked miserable.
Lee stared at this strange girl for a while, lost in thought. Eventually, she felt his gaze upon her, and turned her head, agonizingly slow, towards him. Determined, though. She never faltered despite the careful pace of her movement. "What?" she finally asked in a voice that spat acid with each breath, poison with each letter, and a different degree of flame and heat with each and every inflection. "You can quit staring any time, you know."
"I am sorry," Lee said, smiling. Completely unaffected, because he knew it must hurt. "I was simply curious as to why there might be a girl in this hospital room." He looked confused, now. "Doesn't the Leaf Village hospital usually put people of different genders in different rooms?"
"They ran out of room, okay? That answer your question?" The girl snapped, both her words and her neck, looking away from Lee again.
"Yes, it does. Thank you," Lee responded. He blinked a few times, taking a page from Shikamaru's book and applying his own little twist to it. After another shift in position: "So, what is your name?"
"Is this your attempt and making me feel better?" the girl shot back, angry and angry and angry and scared.
Lee paused. He was not as good at planning things as Shikamaru was. Perhaps he should stop planning? Just...perhaps? "My name is Rock Lee. I know I do no't look like it, but..." he grinned. "I am a leaf ninja as well!"
The girl remained quiet for several seconds. "Yoshe Yuuryokuten," she finally responded. Very mumbledly.
"Ah, I see," Lee nodded. "Well, it is very nice to meet you, Yoshe!" She was silent. "So," Lee continued, "What kind of jutsu do you specialize in?"
"Taijutsu," Yoshe said simply.
"Ah ha! That is what I specialize in as well!" Lee shouted with glee. "Perhaps we could show each other some pointers some time."
"Not anymore," Yoshe closed her eyes. "I'm too badly injured."
Lee was undeterred. "There is no such thing!" Probably not the right thing to say, at least not without explaining why he felt that way. "Believe me, Yoshe-"
"What is your problem, anyway?" Yoshe suddenly shouted at him, almost at the same time he said her name.
"Wh-what?" Lee asked, shocked.
"Can't you see I just want to be left alone?" she continued shouting, tears welling in her eyes. She rolled over in bed, turning away from Lee. From the way her body shuddered, it was obvious it caused her great pain.
Lee was silent for some time, thinking again. Carefully trying to figure out what to say. "I am sorry," he finally apologized. He could think of nothing else to say. Quite possibly, he shouldn't have said anything.
"Sorry?" the dam finally burst as Yoshe sat up in bed, revealing her full burned and surgeoned face to Lee, who had only seen her in profile or slightly concealed by beddings before. "Look at me! You think saying you're 'sorry' will do anything to fix this? To fix me?" Tears were streaming down her face as she gingerly leaned forward, trembling with fury and grief. This did nothing to lessen the impact of her words. "But then you've already seen me! You stared, just like everyone else who's looked at me since that mission where I..." she paused, taking some deep breaths. "You're just like everyone else! You pity me and you try your best to make me feel better and nothing you say means anything because you don't really mean it, because in the end, I'm still...I'm still..." swallowed sobs clenched her throat as her shoulders shook, foundations of her body threatening to crumble under pressure. "I still look like this. I'm still ugly and I'm useless to everyone as a ninja and every time I breathe it hurts." She closed her eyes tightly, now. "And all you can say is 'sorry?" she sobbed out, great sobs causing pain, causing more sobs, and causing more pain.
Lee stared at her for several seconds, taken aback at an outburst he knew was coming, but knew not the depths of. And, no matter how much it might hurt (for he had no idea whether or not it was the right thing to say), he could only think of one thing to say: the truth. "Yoshe, you are not useless. Or ugly."
"Yes, I am!" Yoshe cried.
"No," Lee shook his head, with a joyful smile on his face that hid no insincerity and a gleam in his eyes that spoke of nothing but good will. "I do not believe that. It is not true." He smile grew a little larger, more comforting. "If it helps, Yoshe," still he was uncertain whether he was saying the right thing or not, "I think that...you look beautiful."
Yoshe's breath was suddenly whipped from her lungs, a victim of the electric shock that was hearing those words. She slowly turned her eyes towards Lee, tears now running unchecked, but sobbing completely gone. -Beautiful?- she thought, feeling her blood heat up in her cheeks.
I'm very sorry; I didn't have room to write 'LeexOC' into the summary. Begging your pardon.
...all jokes aside, I'd like to be completely serious for just a moment. Though no person reacts exactly the same asanother to any specific trauma, there are certain ways that people definitely do not react when they are victims of abuse, of rape, of torture, of burns capable of twisting one's flesh, or any trauma one might suffer. I don't believe I have made poor Yoshe react in some way that a person most definitely would not react to being put through what she is being put through, but I don't know for certain.
And furthermore, I do not mean to suggest that every victim of any trauma, burns or otherwise, reacts only with anger and sadness, or only in the way Yoshe has reacted. Those elements are there, in varying degrees for varying people, but there are such things as hope and forgiveness as well, and many other reactions, positive and negative, on top of all that.
Nor do I mean to suggest that a nice girlfriend or boyfriend is the absolute only thing that anyone needs to get through anything in life. I doubt that is often the case in real life, and despite what little you've read about the situation so far, it won't be the case in this fic either.
Nor do I mean to suggest that if you say the things Lee has said here, or even similar things, to someone who has suffered major injuries, everything will always, or even often, turn out okay. They technically still haven't in this fictional world, even. It's just that what he has said is the first step to her recovering, and that too is a rarity among rarities in real life.
What I'm trying to say is simply this: please, for the sake of yourself, for the sake of your friends, or your relatives, or even your acquaintances, let me know and let me know as soon as possible if I, in characterizing Yoshe, have written something overwhelmingly stupid that makes you want to hit me over how insensitive I was, and I will change as need be and as soon as I read what you have told me. I will remove the entire conversation, the entire subplot if need be, the instant that anyone tells me with good reason that they think I cannot handle this plot without getting all the details wrong, because they are probably right. I have no frame of reference to fall back on here, and thus I need to know from people who do if I do something horrid without meaning to.
I have been blessed, in that I do not truly know what trauma is like. If you know enough, firsthand, secondhand, through any closeness at all with anyone who has experienced the worst the world has to offer, I am entirely sorry for what happened, and I can only hope that things have and always will improve for you. If you need them, and are willing to ask, you certainly have my prayers, as many or as few as you think you need.
Now, all that said with great seriousness and somberness, there are still such things as good and fun and laughter in the world, as I intend to show in this Omake. Careful you don't get whiplash from my sudden and steep dive, emotional roller-coaster-wise. Probably too late...
OMAKE #6
Originally, when Kakashi said 'any questions', Sakura was going to have questions. It would have been hilarious to watch Sasuke's reactions, yes, but I still felt after typing it all out that it was too far out of her character too do something like that. So I simply rewrote that whole section, whittling down Sakura's pubescent curiousity into a single statement made by her inner. Still, though, I couldn't bear to let go a certain conversation between Kakashi and Sasuke after Sakura went home to discuss with her parents the finer details of the birds and the bees...
0-0-0-0
"Sakura, you will be going home," Kakashi sternly ordered. "No matter how 'embarrassing' it is, some things you need to be taught as a daughter, not as a ninja." He shrugged. "Even if I do have certain rules on how shinobi and kunoichi under my care should conduct themselves."
Sakura sighed. "Alright," she begrudgingly admitted. "You're probably right." She smiled a little. "I'll see you both later, okay?" she smiled back as she bounded up into the trees, heart fluttering and sinking in patterns opposite the way she leapt from branch to branch.
Kakashi chuckled, looking after her with memories in his eyes. Good ones, for once. Sasuke, meanwhile, was less nostalgic: "Okay, what did you have me stick around for?" he asked, a dangerous tone to his voice. He had a great sinking feeling in his stomach that was telling him horrid things he wished to disconfirm.
"You know," Kakashi indirectly answered Sasuke's question, "If I were a fortune-teller, I don't think I'd have predicted this." He looked down to the ground, walking towards Sasuke. "And even if, and that's a big if, I thought one of you might be more curious about what I was talking about it, and the other repulsed-"
"It'd be the other way around, I get it," Sasuke shortened Kakashi's sentence with his sharpened words."Now what do you want, already?" But he knew the answer to that question. He knew the answer.
"It would be awkward," Kakashi placed his arm around his student's shoulders, "If your girlfriend knew so much more than you when you two got older, right? "
"She's not my girlfirend, believe me," Sasuke said, a note of desperation creeping into his voice somewhere around the 'eve' in believe.
"You don't have anyone to help you with the strange feelings you're experiencing, like she does," Kakashi said solemnly as he stared at the area Sakura had just left from.
"I will pay you any amount of money you want if you do not put me through this, Kakashi-sensei," Sasuke negotiated, just as desperate as before. He even added the 'sensei' to the end of 'Kakashi'.
"Perhaps I am being presumptuous, but I like to think of myself as kind of a father-figure to you, Sasuke," Kakashi plugged forward, too late to stop now, to change course, approaching the event horizon. The inevitability was staggering. "And so I am prepared, nay, happy to give you the wisdom of mind and spirit you will need to balance the knowledge of actions and desires."
"I will do your laundry, I will dance around in public in my underwear, I'll will find the Fountain of Youth and get you water from it-"
"Sasuke Uchiha," Kakashi was celearly enjoying this far more than he should "Today, with the paternal guidance I give you, you will take your first step into becoming a true man."
"I hate you with every fiber of my being," Sasuke lamented.
"I know, Sasuke. I know," Kakashi nodded cheerfully.
0-0-0-0
As a side note, pretty sure this is my longest Omake yet. Don't quote me on that, though.
At any rate, God bless you all, and many happy days before ye. Hopefully it won't be so long this time until I next update!
...also, only a couple more chapters until the next action scene!
EDIT: Though there are some typos here I noticed, I am certain you guys are capable of ignoring them. However, and more importantly, I actually had Rock Lee use some contractions when writing this chapter! I must be more tired today than I thought...well, it's fixed now. Or, as Lee would say, "The deed has been accomplished! We are now operating at one-hundred-and-ten percent of our maximum efficiency, Guy-Sensei!"