I thought I could save them.. I thought I could protect them but I was wrong. I just knew that… that… I wasn't strong enough.

I never had a chance.

Never had a shot of really being happy of really being alive.

Because every time I even breathed for a moment…

Every time I paused or relaxed for even a second there they were interrupting and causing chaos in my life and those I cared for.

"Mom?" Jamie asked as she came in to view.

"Ren where's mom? And dad? Where are they? Why? Why are you out here?"

She questioned as she ran full speed towards the house. I just sat there with my head hanging staring straight ahead towards the trees, the forest, the earth, the green, the moth, the birds flying, the sky…

I just wanted to lose myself in the world, the wind, the dust, the molecules, the particles that just- existed and were without any interference of any force. But it wasn't like that at all.

I could hear Jamie screaming in the house and opening doors searching, looking frantically for our parents. "Where are they Ren?" I just sat there gazing off into space not bothering to even answer. Maybe if I just stayed still and didn't do anything at all I could just- dissappear? Maybe even vanish? No, that's not logical.

I laughed at my stupidity and mundane thoughts. When has anything made sense in my world? Never. Nothing made sense. I was who I was. What I was exactly. Who knew… I sure did not know.

"Damn it, Ren. Where are Mom and Dad?" She shouted.

I looked up at her and just stopped thinking for a second. There she was. There was my younger sister just lost, frantic, worried, scared… What was I doing? Nothing, nothing at all. I sighed rubbing my face with my hand just… Everything fell into place yet everything fell apart in my mind.

"They're not here." I said

"obviously." Jamie said sarcastically as she laughed and cried simultaneously.

Tears ran down her eyes and made her mascara smudge her lovely face. Her eyes turned a shade of red from her crying and her nose looked pink. I sighed again just… taking everything in.

"Come here." I said and opened my arms towards her. She threw herself at me and just clung to me. I held her as she broke further apart. "Sshh… It'll be alright now. Don't worry. Sshh I'm here. I'm right here." I whispered soothingly to her as her sobs continued and she tried to talk. "Ren!" She wailed and I just felt so alone and so young for the first time in my life.

I wanted to stop running to stop hiding and just be… For the first time in my life. I just wanted to simply…die. I couldn't though I couldn't because I had to take care of the girl in my arms. I couldn't because I just wanted to live so damn fucking much. I couldn't because somewhere deep down I knew that I- I couldn't die. Somewhere in me I knew that even if my heart stopped beating this process would repeat over and over. I couldn't place how I knew I just did.

I felt like I've died so many times, cried, sobbed, wailed, grieved, mourned, hurt, hid, and just be nothing. I felt that I knew this process all to well yet it was so fresh and so new because I just lost my parents.

I just watched them be killed by the monsters that were after me by vampires.

By the monsters that killed… me? Me?…

"Ren! Please, oh God please… please wake up…. I can't be without you. Please…" I heard someone cry out. I wanted to laugh and tell her that it was alright that even though out parents were dead that I wasn't going anywhere. I don't know if she heard me because I was so…. So… tired and all I wanted to do was sleep. And then as I was being tugged into unconsciousness I heard a voice so deep so familiar so recognizable, soft, smooth, and filled with something so… so… warm that demanded my attention that I just had to open my eyes at least for a second. When I opened my eyes all I saw was hazel eyes with specks of green.

I felt like I knew them as if my mind couldn't really connect those eyes with memories but my heart and soul could. Then I drowned… I drowned in those hazel eyes so deep that I couldn't breathe and all I could do was choke… My vision blurred and gray spots danced and appeared in my vision until are there was was just nothingness, black, a void… All I heard was a distant voice or hummm call to me. But I was too far gone to listen or even care.

Hope you liked it. Once again there is NO intent of plagiarism. Stephanie Meyer owns the Twilight Saga characters and I own mine and the plot of the story plus the story lol. If you can review please do. If not it's cool later guys.

~Themysteryofjade