Thank you to gemima (nolongerstrong) who proof read and helped improve it thankyou :)x
Meanwhile I was with Mrs Fisher in her office. She wanted to know what was going on.
"Hannah what's happening at home surely you've got a new uniform this term?" She asked.
"Well, I was supposed to but my parents wouldn't give me the money. I've spent all summer swapping from one house to the other!" I replied with a sigh.
"Who wrote 'scum' on your clothes?"
I didn't want to say who; I didn't want any more trouble. I shrugged my shoulders and said I didn't know who did it.
"But you know why?"
I nodded. It wasn't hard to take a guess, "People think I'm to blame for my sister's death. Nobody wants to talk to me; nobody wants to be my friend. That's the reason why I went to Sam's house last night. I had to get away from it all. All the things they say, the words they call me, remind me of what I did to Sav."
There was a silence between us as we both sat there before Mrs Fisher began speaking, "You didn't do anything, you can't blame yourself and they can't blame you, it was no one's fault it was just tragic."
"Just leave it okay? It was my fault! Nothing anyone can say will change the way I feel. I killed the most precious person in my life and no-one can say it wasn't my fault because it was!"
I lost my temper. I yelled at her. She didn't seem to mind that I shouted, she just wanted me to calm down.
"Hannah calm down it wasn't your fault. It's been a year you should try to put it behind you. You need to move on with your life, you won't forget your sister but you'll remember the memories you both shared."
I didn't listen to her. I never did listen to anyone who tried giving me advice, "Just leave me alone!" I said before I stormed out. I ran out of school, past the main gates and up the street before I came across a flower shop. I went inside brought a bunch of the most beautiful daises I had ever seen and took them to my sisters grave. As I sat down in the damp grass in front of her headstone, I laid the flowers down and said gently, "Hey little sis, I brought you some flowers. You would've been seven today if it wasn't for me. I'm sorry. Really sorry please forgive me? I love you so much."
I didn't realise that while I was here, rearranging your grave making it look tidier, my disappearance was causing a somewhat panic among the staff. Mr Mead and Mrs Fisher called Sam into the office, as she was my friend they thought she'd be able to tell them where I was.
"Sam, do you have any idea where she goes when she's upset?"
There was a silence for a moment, "Usually I find her by her sister's grave. Wait, today, todays her sisters birthday."
"Thanks Sam, will you come with us, show us where she'll be?" Sam agreed and they left school. They came to the cemetery, found me in the distance and walked over towards me. I was curled up in a ball, my head on the grass when I heard Mr Mead say my name. I had tears rolling down my face and as Sam got nearer, she noticed them and hugged me tightly.
"Sam, I miss her too much."
I sobbed as she embraced me tightly. I didn't even acknowledge Mr Mead or Mrs Fisher, I just wanted Sam. She was the only friend I ever had. The only friend I'll ever have.
"I know you do." Sam said gently trying to confront me as much as she could. We didn't speak for ages until I heard Mr Mead say something, "Hannah, why don't you come back to school with us?"
I shook my head, broke the hug from Sam and replied, "No! Everyone thinks I'm scum. They're right. I am scum. She shouldn't have died, it should have been me!" I screamed before I pulled out a knife. The blade listened in the sun and I brought it to my chest, stabbing myself near the heart. I wanted to die so much. I had come here to kill myself, not like this but I was going to kill myself eventually.
I felt my body collapse, my breathing grew slower and slower and I felt weird, like I was floating away from my body. My eyes were closing; I kept trying to fight tiredness. I vaguely remember Mr Mead phoning an ambulance, the shouting from Sam and then eventually, nothing!