"A mighty pain to love it is, and 'tis a pain that pain to miss; but of all the pains, the greatest pain is to love, but love in vain." -Abraham Crowley
[Ch.4]
Shinra's great General felt his age for the first time in years, deflated, confused, and disgusted with his previous actions, he wondered if this is what it felt like to be scorned by love. However, he hadn't been scorned, she had accepted the kiss had she not? And she enjoyed it just as much as you, the inner part of his mind repeated.
With great care he stole another look at the girl who was busy talking to her partner in quiet conversation, rolls of maps laid haphazardly at their feet. Tifa's youthful face was a stabbing regret of his own age compared to hers. Surely he would burn in Hell for what he had just done, on the other hand, she had initiated just as much as he.
She was probably confused about her feelings, perhaps even humiliated that they had bested her judgment; he knew he was. The look of pain that had crossed her face when Sephiroth had pushed her away haunted him still. It wasn't that he didn't want her; Gaia only knew how much he wanted her, simply put it was just wrong.
How would he explain to the others how he had come to fall in love with a girl barely past womanhood? How would Shinra and the whole SOLDIER department react? How would Midgar react now that their cold-blooded hero was capable of the most human feelings? How would Shinra's enemies react now that their prime competition had a weakness that could easily be taken advantage of? His eyes narrowed in the darkness; no he wouldn't let it happen, he wouldn't let any danger befall Tifa – especially from himself.
Night had fallen over Fort Condor, the sky stretched out above him in one massive abyss. The only separation from the darkness was the tiny colonies of stars, and of course the pale moon that shined her light on their improvised camp. The sky had always had the effect of making him feel insignificant, what was he compared to the rest of the galaxy and her mysteries? Absolutely nothing.
Sephiroth remembered being discouraged with his training as a child, every time he expressed his failures Professor Gast would recite the old fable of the Sky Lord, a tale of a simple man who had challenged the gods and had won, winning himself the right to reign over all. The story had encouraged him throughout his boyhood, filling his head with unrealistic dreams. Sighing, he wondered vaguely how he was going to make it through the night with a rock of guilt sitting on his chest and Tifa's sleeping form only meters away.
OOOO
The moment his eyes searched her face Tifa felt it, she suppressed a shudder and focused for all her worth on what Barret was saying. She ignored the creeping blush that was threatening to overtake her face. How dare he look at her after all that he'd done! She wanted to hate him but found that she couldn't, realization had set its way in. She hated herself for being weak enough to cave in to such foolish desires; she particularly hated their difference in age and title.
How hopeless was this? He was Shinra's general, guardian of Midgar, and she was Tifa Lockhart, an inspiring barmaid from Nibelheim. Wasn't it every hometown girl's dream of capturing the heart of some strong SOLDIER? How many of these naive women had he pulled into his company and seduced? Probably hundreds Tifa thought vehemently, she wasn't the first and likely not to be the last, and she almost fell for it too. She swallowed a thump that had formed in her throat; if that was the case than why did he push her away? Why not take something that had been almost so easily offered?
"Tifa?"
Barret's voice pulled her from her thoughts, realizing he had asked a question she fumbled haplessly for an answer. Concern crossed Barret's face, "You're looking pretty tired maybe you should hit the sack."
Although it was still rather early for bed Tifa gave a defeated nod; tired was not even close to describing how she felt right now. Humiliated, ashamed, angry, those words might have done the trick. She surveyed the ground beneath her feet with a dismayed snort; their camp was the only dry place they had been able to find within reasonable distance. Expecting their venture to be completed within hours, no one had considered bringing a tent, sleeping bags, or even a single blanket. Finding an honest spot away from the others, she brushed away some loose rocks with her boot and laid down to rest. How she craved the softness of her own bed, the hard ground did little to aid her aching muscles while the chilling breeze bit at her exposed skin. Ignoring the elements to the best of her abilities Tifa passed into a fitful sleep.
OOOO
Sephiroth watched Tifa's slumbering form with discontent; he found it rather uncouth that Shinra had left them so unprepared as to make a lady sleep in the dirt. Nonetheless she hadn't complained, choosing her spot and falling asleep as if the ground had been a bed of feathers. The president had long since fallen asleep; the only stirrers were himself and Barret, who poked idly at a small fire he had coaxed to life from dry twigs and flint.
The General watched the heavyset man with observative eyes, he had a feeling that this man didn't trust him; Barret had been giving him the occasional odd glance ever since Tifa had turned in for the night. Sephiroth couldn't shake the small feeling that whatever had brought Tifa and Barret to Fort Condor wasn't beneficial to Shinra, if it weren't for the girl he would have expressed his concern to Shinra long ago.
His gaze fell back to Tifa, she had curled herself up into a ball reminding him of a child's discarded doll. The slow rhythmic rise and fall of her chest signaled her deep sleep, while the brief twitch of heavy lashes told him she was dreaming. Her small hand reached out to clasp something or someone but was met with an empty void. Thinly sculpted lips frowned softly and Sephiroth found his mind reeling with the question, what was she reaching for? The wind picked up sending a cold breeze down his back; the girl moved momentarily as her body shivered in protest.
Sephiroth was many things, but ignorant was not one of them, the sight of the freezing girl pulled at his gentleman's streak. Rising from his seat he undid the clasps of his coat and covered her with care. He could have sworn she stiffened for a moment before relaxing into the warmth. The wind howled again biting fiercely on his flesh, the swordsman smirked, thanks to mako conditioning his body would adapt to the cold momentarily. Sephiroth looked upon the sleeping beauty with renewed hope; maybe she would accept the small gesture as a sort of peace offering, distracting his guilt he left her side to rest near the fire.
OOOO
Once he was gone Tifa felt like she could finally breathe again, she let out a long exasperated sigh. At first she had felt like throwing the coat off and denying any form of communication with the man. He could go to Hell chivalry be damned, but she had been unable to deny the heat the jacket supplied.
The heavy leather completely swathed her nearly from head to toe, already warm from his previous body heat it reminded her sharply of their forbidden embrace. The worst part was his adulterous scent; the coat had mingled with the scent of leather and musk, and she fought weakly against the sense of security that now engulfed her. The day's exhaustion claimed her easily; her eyelids grew heavy once again while her breathing deepened, Tifa passed into a peaceful sleep.
OOOO
She felt welt. It was an irritating sensation that was nearly pulling her from a deep sleep. Something cold, heavy, and wet was soaking up her legs. What the hell was it? Barely awake Tifa opened her left eye just a crack, it took a moment for her sight to adjust in the darkness, and an even longer moment to register that a sea of mud was lapping rapidly at her feet. Awareness came to her in a sickening flash as she attempted to get up; a mudslide was about to sweep through their camp.
Mudslides were common in Fort Condor, with all the rain that had fallen this season it was to be expected. However, none of the villagers had seen it important to tell the Shinra crew. Tifa grappled with the wet ground that pulled like quicksand at her feet, desperation filled her lungs with an acrid burn. She had to warn the others but couldn't find the strength to run through the mud.
Tifa tripped over a large lump she recognized immediately as Barret, the man woke with a roaring start.
"What the hell is going on!"
The cracking of trees could be heard like rolling thunder as the oily mass of mud ripped through the forest with lethal speed. It was too late now; Tifa squeezed the hand of her long-term friend and closed her eyes.
The bitter cold mud stole her breath away seconds before the sheer force knocked her to the ground. The wave rolled over her like a dark sea, filling her lungs and crushing her ribs. There was no light at the end of the tunnel, no flash of her life's greatest moments, no angelic voice of heaven, just the sensation of unconsciousness that swiftly claimed her, and for a quick second Tifa felt cruelly robbed.
OOOO
The fuzziness of oblivion was all Tifa felt. Surprised that she could feel anything at all, she tried in vain to move her arms but found they were like lead weights. Refusing yet to open her eyes and face the lifestream, she enjoyed the blind feeling of floating. Suddenly a hand grasped her hair and began to yank fiercely pulling her upwards, screaming in pain with the indignity of being snatched from heaven she felt her body rest on something solid.
A voice addressed her fearfully and Tifa opened her eyes to look up at her rescuer. The president of Shinra Electric stared down at her with horror painted on the folds of his fat face. She coughed violently, bringing up watery mud and filling her abused lungs with air.
"Oh thank Gaia I'm not alone!"
"What happened?" Tifa croaked.
"A mudslide tore through our camp an hour ago. I climbed the rocks and didn't get pulled under, then I seen you float by and pulled you out."
Tifa winced as her brain groggily tried to grasp what had just happened, it all came flooding back with a rush of nausea.
"The others?" she gasped in shock.
"Not a clue, haven't found anyone but you."
Tears threatened to spill from the corner of her eye, she remembered holding Barret's hand before being brutally torn apart.
"I have to find him," she whispered straining to pull herself up.
"Find who? Sephiroth?"
Her mind dazedly recalled the silver haired General, "All of them," she repeated more to herself than to anyone else.
A look of fear spread across Shinra's face, "What if it happens again? We're only safe someplace elevated, I'm staying here."
Regaining a shaky balance on her two feet she stared angrily at the president, "Fine, stay here alone then."
He battled an inner struggle before sighing dejectedly, "Alright I'll go."
Tifa bleakly surveyed the world below their cliff; the mud had leveled out this section of the forest giving a good view of the ground. Bits of trees and debris were the only causalities as far as she could see. What was left of the slide had pooled into a shallow flowing river that had taken parts of their camp.
"If we're going to find any survivors we're going to have to follow that stream. At the very least it'll lead us back into town."
The president began to scale down the rocks with Tifa following behind. She was impressed by his speed, no wonder he had been able to reach the cliff in such short time. She could only hope that they would reach the others in such time, assuming they were still alive.
NOTE: A shorter chapter but filled with a lot more suspense; I'll make up for it later I swear