Prompt:
"My mission to punch every guy who's ever kissed Rachel has brought me to you."
"I'm your best friend"
"You kissed my girlfriend."
"When she was my girlfriend!...Ow! Fuck, dude!"
About a month after they're officially together, Puck decides that it's time.
At first it was a casual thing between him and Rachel. After skirting around the fact that even with all her animal sweaters he still found her hot, and her admitting that while his arms were lovely, the rest of him was beyond that, they decided to be mature and just go for it. Or, you know, he made a lewd proposition one day and she was too distracted to say no. He didn't let her change her mind.
Casual turned to serious when he found himself actually wanted to spend time with her out of the bedroom. She still talked his ear off all the time, and he was used to tuning her out half the time they were together, but that was a vast improvement over how much he used to zone out when he was near her before (100% of the time). But she was totally cute when she got her way, and kind of a badass when she didn't, and he didn't even realize it was happening, but he stopped thinking about other girls, and started thinking about himself as a boyfriend.
It wasn't so bad when the reward was amazing, regular sex with his hot girlfriend.
And a month after they made it official, facebook status change and everything, he thinks about her exes and realizes it's time to let them know he's not joining that list.
He goes in reverse order, since it's easier to remember.
The first one on his list is the guy from the hockey team Rachel went on one date with just before they started hooking up. It didn't really lead to anything, and nothing really happened between them (he knows it for a fact because he grilled Santana about it the day after only to get the get-your-head-out-of-your-ass-and-do-something-about-it-if-you-like-her-so-much from her, come to think of it, he really should thank the girl since she's kinda the reason he finally did).
He's the easiest one, because he doesn't even need to explain anything to anyone after just walking up to the guy and punching him square in the jaw. It's not really a secret Puck isn't the guy's biggest fan, and it's not the first time something like this is happening. Even Rachel stopped chewing him up about hitting the guy for no reason after the last time he did it.
"The guy exists," was the reason he gave her the last time after his list of excuses ran out, and all she did was just roll her eyes at him (she learned that from him, thank you very much) and patted him on his arm.
This time she doesn't even say anything.
The second one doesn't go as unnoticed as the first, although Rachel still doesn't make the connection.
The guy is some theater geek, one of guys Rachel was briefly in Cabaret with when she stormed out on them during the first year of glee. They remained friendly even after she left the musical and came back to glee, and right at the end of last year they started going out for a couple of weeks. He corners him one day when the theater club has the auditorium right before glee practice there, and after making sure they're alone, makes some excuse about looking at his girlfriend the wrong way and punches him in the stomach.
When Rachel finds out he repeats the same excuse ("Babe, he was drooling over you when you bent down to pick up your bag! I mean I don't mind dudes appreciating that my girlfriend is hot, but I know how much you hate that objectifying behavior." Yes, he knows some big words now. Shut up.) which earns him an adoring smile but also a lecture about using violence as a teaching method. He tunes her out half way through the speech and finally shuts her up with a kiss.
Number three is a no brainer and something he should have done a long time ago.
Jesse is still at Carmel and with Vocal Adrenaline, and Puck just does what he should have done last year after the douche had the nerve to treat Rachel the way he did. Slashing the guy's tires just wasn't enough, but he didn't get the opportunity to actually touch the guy before being called out on it.
This one takes a little planning, finding a good enough excuse to cut school so Rachel won't be on his case too much ("This is your future, Noah Puckerman! You might not care about it too much, but I do. And if you care about me, or at least about your regular love life, you might want to start taking this a little more serious from now on." He started going to class after that. He may not be getting straight A's, but at least he's getting laid on a regular basis) and going across town to the rival school.
He waits outside, leaning back on the monstrosity the douche calls a car, until he sees him exiting the school after everyone else is pretty much gone. Good, it's not that he doesn't want an audience for this shit, but this is enemy territory and he's on his own here.
"Came to see what a winning group looks like, Puck?" There's a smug smile on his face that Puck can't wait to erase.
Puck doesn't reply, just waits for him to get closer, slowly standing up straighter. This is about action, not about talking. At least not yet. When Jesse's close enough, not even looking at Puck after not getting a reply the first time, just looking around in his bag for the car keys, Puck swings and hits. Right in the eye, where there's no way of hiding it. With this guy, the aftermath of his punch is almost as good as the actual hitting, since pretty boy here has an image to maintain.
"What the hell?" Jesse's bag is on the pavement and he's pressing his hand to his eye.
"S'a reminder that some people may have forgotten you, but not me. And no one's forgiven you." Puck practically snarls at him. He spares one last look at the pathetic excuse for a dude standing in front of him. "Keep away from her and any of the others on my team, or I really will have an excuse to not hold back."
With that he turns his back on Jesse and walks over to his truck. He's wanted to do this ever since the egging incident. Not that he didn't appreciate the masterful planning of it, hell, he would have done it too, but something just didn't feel right at the time about it. He told himself it was because she was part of his team, and teammates stick together. Now he's honest enough with himself to know it was a little more than just team spirit. Shut up, he's not turning into a sissy, he just really likes his girl. He's man enough to admit that.
Three down, one to go. But this one is the most complicated one.
He finds Finn in the locker room the following day after football practice, waits until the place clears and makes his move.
"My mission to punch every guy who's ever kissed Rachel has brought me to you." He and Finn are finally at a good place after the whole baby-gate thing, so he figures this one time he'll give the guy a warning, and an explanation.
Finn looks at him funny. "I'm your best friend."
"You kissed my girlfriend."
"When she was my girlfriend!...Ow! Fuck, dude!"
Puck shrugs his shoulder. "Sorry man, had to be done." He looks down at Finn, sitting down on the bench, doubled down at the waist and looking up at him. "Know what I mean?"
Finn stares at him for a second, and finally sighs. "Yeah." He takes a deep breath and gets up to finish gathering his things. "Got it out of your system?"
Puck just nods and turns around to grab his own gym bag. "Mario Kart at my house in 15." He calls over his shoulder at Finn as he walks to the door without waiting for a reply.
Finn just shakes his head at his friend. He might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but even he can see that Puck loves Rachel, so he can take one for the team for that.
An hour after they left the school they can hear the front door of Puck's house open and slam shut and Rachel shows up in the living room where Puck and Finn are sitting on the floor in front of the TV, remote controls in their hands.
"Noah Puckerman, can you please explain to me why you're going around hitting people for no good reason, your best friend included?"
She's standing in front of the TV now, blocking their view so they have no option but to pause the game. She glaring at Puck but than turns her head to look at Finn.
"Oh, hello Finn, didn't expect to see you here after the despicable way your best friend has been treating you."
Finn just looks from Rachel to Puck, lays down his remote and moves to stand up. "Yeah, I'll just go grab a water or something in the kitchen."
Before he's out of the room Rachel turns her attention back to her boyfriend, still sitting on the floor in front of her checking out her legs.
Puck knows what's coming. He has a smart girl, he knew that it wouldn't take her long to put the pieces together, especially after hearing about Jesse (someone on the hockey team has a cousin who goes to Carmel, and apparently the whole school there was talking about pretty boy's black eye for a week). But you can blame him for being a little distracted at the moment, when she's right there before him, wearing one of her tiny, tiny skirts, with no knee socks for a change. It's like her legs stretch on for miles, which is pretty weird, and awesome, on such a tiny little thing.
"Noah," she practically stomps her leg, "Can you please focus for a minute?"
He moves his eyes up to look her in the eyes, finally. "Babe, I just had to do it. I know Finn is my boy, but he understands. Can't you?"
"Understand what? That my boyfriend is a Neanderthal who can't express himself without using his fists?"
"Rach, it's not like that."
"Than what is it like, Noah?" Her voice looses the edge and anger it had when she first walked, stormed, in, so he reaches out of her hand and pulls her down she she's straddling his thighs.
"I like you, you know that." He's playing with her fingers, looking down at their hands instead of her. That's the problem with having a girlfriend, you have to actually, you know, talk about your feelings and express all this shit that goes around in his head. She's pretty good at reading him, but he also learned that while she might already know some of the things he's thinking about, she always wants to hear him say it.
Rachel raises her hand to lay it against his cheek, urging him to meet her eyes. "I know."
"S'I wanted to make sure it got through to some people."
"I think it's pretty obvious even without the punching people."
"Yeah, but it made me feel a little better about knowing they kissed you." His hands travel over her thighs up to her waist, pulling her closer to him.
"Noah, you know that was before anything happened between us." She replies softly.
"I know. Still don't like it."
She leans forward and presses her lips gently against his. She tries to pull away but Puck presses his hand to her back, keeping her close, and captures her lips again, this time in a not so gentle kiss.
When he pulls away she presses her forehead to his and says quietly, "I'm only interested in kissing you now."
"Only kissing?" Puck smirks.
"Maybe more." Rachel can't help but smile in return. "Don't tell anybody, but maybe I kind of liked thinking about you coming to my defense against Jesse, even if it is a little delayed."
"You totally love my badass behavior." He's full on grinning right now.
"But you still need to apologize to Finn." She leans back a little.
"Already did, babe, we're cool."
At that moment they hear Finn coming back to the living room and turn to look at him. "So now that you're done fighting, are we finishing the game?"
Rachel just pecks Puck on the lips and moves off his lap as Finn takes his place next to Puck.
"He's all yours." She tells Finn as Puck shoots her a smile. She smiles back and settles on the couch with her history book as the boys un-pause the game and the room is filled with their yelling again.