-XX-

My Only Wish

Chapter Five

Punishment.

It's a word Kelly is aware of, but it isn't something she's ever experienced. When she was a child, mommy and daddy never put her in time out when she was bad or anything like that. When she got older (probably the pivotal moments where she could have used some guidance) neither of her parents were every around and they continue to be absent on a regular basis. That's why it's so unnerving being under Kim Keeler's thumb.

After pulling the little stunt the other night, her punishment includes complete and total house arrest. The only time she can leave the house is on family sanctioned outings and going to the Rock. No more hanging out at Kaylie's house after practice (thank God) like the girls do from time to time. The downside is that this so-called punishment will make meeting up with Payson more difficult than it needs to be.

Kelly accepts the punishment (what other choice does she have?) and her submission makes Kim relax a bit and things are slightly less tense between them. The three women of the family get into the car in the morning and drive to the Rock like they apparently do every freaking day. Kelly doesn't complain, at least, not aloud. She just sits and bitches via text to Payson – sadly, her only confidant.

When it comes to being at the Rock, Kelly refuses to train. Kim can yell and scream all the wants, but her dignity is the last thing Kelly has left. She goes straight to the observation room, not even bothering to change into a leotard, drops her bag on the ground and sits there. She watches the other girls and criticizes them in her head, ignoring the way they're all looking at her like she's gone completely mad. In a sense, she really has.

Sasha and Kim take turns, sitting next to her and trying to talk to her. Kelly doesn't say a word. She tunes them out. Sasha doesn't have a chance of convincing her to do shit. After all, Kelly isn't Payson. Kim does have the power to wear her down. Kelly doesn't understand what it is exactly, but Kim Keeler has the ability to get to her, get beyond her iron walls of detachment and that thought alone leaves Kelly uneasy.

The biggest surprise is when Kaylie Cruz approaches her.

The current National Champion walks over and sits next to Kelly with such concern on her face. It looks like Kaylie genuinely cares, but that has no effect on Kelly. Again, something like that would probably make Payson crumble, but not Kelly Parker. As far as Kelly is concerned, she's sitting with a thief.

"Hey Pay," Kaylie says sweetly. "So what's with all the makeup? You'd think it's competition day or maybe an episode of Toddlers in Tiaras."

"What do you want?" Kelly barks, ignoring Kaylie's little opening line.

"Well, I couldn't help but notice how…off you've been lately," Kaylie replies. "Payson, what's going on?"

Kelly laughs humorlessly. "You have no clue how sick I am of that question."

"Well, maybe if you gave us some answers…"

"I don't need to explain myself to you," Kelly snaps. When Kaylie doesn't say anything right away, Kelly bites the inside of her cheek, remembering Payson's threat if she isn't civil to her friends. Kelly sighs and rests her face in her palm. "Don't take it personally. I'm just…I'm not myself right now."

"Oh, we've all noticed," she says lightly. "Is it anything you want to talk about?"

"Not particularly," Kelly replies. "I just need some space."

"Fair enough," Kaylie says. "I get that you're going through something right now, but taking off with Austin Tucker and staying out well into the night without telling anyone, especially your mom, probably isn't the best method of dealing."

Kelly laughs again, sounding just as miserable as the first time. "So this is about Austin Tucker? Relax teamie. I'm not chasing after your sloppy seconds. Though our supposedly tight friendship didn't exactly stop Kaylicky, did it?"

Kaylie gives her an are-you-kidding look. "Whoa. Hold on. Kaylicky? Payson, is this about me talking to Nicky at the Christmas party?"

"Did I say it was?" Kelly retorts.

"Okay, first of all, Kaylicky didn't even happen. Like I told you when he left for Denver, I wouldn't do that to you, Pay." Kaylie says. "Two, just so you know, this isn't about Austin. Not at all. I'm so done with him. This is me worrying about my friend. Three, did you just call me teamie? What is that?"

Kelly inwardly curses. It's that damn lack of filtering again.

"Thanks for your concern, but you can keep it. I'm fine," Kelly says. She tears her eyes away from the dark-haired girl sitting beside her and gazes out at the girls practicing beyond the thick, glass wall. "Kaylie, shouldn't you be training?"

"Yeah, probably," she says slowly. Kaylie squints her eyes, looking closely at Kelly. It's absolutely grating. "I don't know what's going on with you, Pay, just know that I'm always here for you if or when you need someone to talk to."

Kelly's about to ask Kaylie if she can be any more of a cliché, but suddenly, Kaylie takes Kelly's hand and gives it a warm squeeze. She freezes and almost jerks away, but then Kaylie lets go and stand up. She walks out of the observation room and gets back to training while Kelly looks on, still trying to comprehend what just happened.

Kelly Parker doesn't have girl friends. She thinks girls are either always looking out for themselves and will stab you in the back in seconds or they're looking for some lifelong commitment and are total clingers. Kelly Parker doesn't have room for either in her life. She has Nicky. She has casual acquaintances and her own teamies, but she wouldn't trust any of those girls with her life. That's why having Kaylie Cruz of all people prying at her with noble intentions is just too weird.

Feeling antsy and having to move around, Kelly gets up from her seat and goes over to the water cooler when no one else is around. She grabs a flimsy paper cup and fills it to the top, taking small sips as she looks around. Lauren Tanner is on beam. Emily Kmetko is on vault. Kaylie Cruz is practicing on bars. Austin Tucker is headed straight towards her. Kelly tosses back the rest of her water like a shot, crumples the cup and tosses it into the trash before she tries to walk away.

"Hey Keeler!" Austin shouts. "Hey! Wait up!"

"What is it, Austin?" Kelly asks irritably.

"So the entire gym is buzzing about us. I guess we could have been a little more discrete yesterday," he says. "How are you holding up?"

"Hmm, let's see," Kelly says. "I'm under house arrest for further notice. Kim is so pissed that I can't believe I didn't see the smoke coming out of her ears. Sasha keeps nagging me and then Princess Cruz got in on the action."

"Your mom I can't exactly help you with. God knows the woman has a target on my back too," Austin says. "But maybe Sasha and Kaylie would stop bugging you if maybe you started practicing like you should."

Kelly scoffs. "Not an option."

"And why is that?" Austin asks.

"Because."

"Not good enough," he says.

Kelly glares at him. She's seconds away from scratching his face right off.

"Look, Payson, I heard about your fall and the surgery. I'll admit it must have sucked to go through, but I've seen you train. You're tough and I respect that," Austin says. "And I'll still respect you even if you're scared. It's okay."

"I'm not scared!" Kelly shouts. Her fists shake with anger and she takes a step closer, but Austin doesn't back down. Instead, he just wears a smug smile and looks her up and down. Seeing this, Kelly falls back and stares at him confusedly. "Wait. Were you checking me out just then?"

Austin chuckles. He doesn't look a bit embarrassed. "What are you talking about?"

"Alright. You need to tell me. What's so attractive about all of this?" Kelly asks, motioning from her blonde hair down to the toes of her tennis shoes. First Nicky and now Austin Tucker? What deal with the devil did Keeler make?

"Well, to be honest, you're kind of freaking me out right now and you really caked on the makeup today," Austin says. He looks nervous for a split second, but then that confident smile returns to his face. "To tell you the truth, guys are always looking at you like that because you're a talented gymnast and you're cute as hell. It took you long enough to notice, Keeler."

Of course Payson is one of those oblivious girls who are so preoccupied with their career that they don't notice things like the way boys look at her. That should have been a no-brainer.

"Alright. Well, I'm going to walk away now," Kelly says. Before she turns away, Kelly gives Austin a pointed look from over her shoulder. "And don't stare at my ass."

Austin laughs and Kelly rolls her eyes.

She can't imagine Payson Keeler dating Austin Tucker. And after talking to Kaylie, Austin's ex, and given the Kaylicky Situation, it's safe to assume Payson probably wouldn't cross that line even if she did see it.

-XX-

After the first milkshake incident or at least the first one Payson has encountered as Kelly, Nicky acts as her protective detail. Harnessing her inner Kelly Parker, Payson tells him that she doesn't need him to fight her battles for her, but as always, Nicky refuses to give in. She feels him looking her way from time to time when they're training on opposite sides of the gym.

Payson can't for the life of her figure out this thing Nicky and Kelly call a friendship. It seems they spend almost every waking second of their lives together. She's mean to him (like she is with everyone) yet he seems completely, for the lack of a better word, whipped. They're sleeping with each other even though they aren't dating. It doesn't seem like either of them have any intention to start dating each other either. Payson thinks it's all sorts of weird and twisted, but somehow it works.

Riding in Nicky's car, they pull up into a lot where the local hardware store is selling Christmas trees. Nicky looks excited as he shuts off the engine and gets out of the car. He quickly rounds the front and pulls Payson's door open for her, grabbing her hand and nearly yanking her out of her seat. They walk through rows and rows of trees. Apparently price isn't an issue. It's finding the perfect tree.

"So what kind of tree are we looking for this year?" Nicky asks.

"The usual," Payson says cautiously.

"The most expensive one on the lot it is," Nicky says with a laugh.

The scent is brilliant. It's all around her from the rows of pine trees to the fallen needles on the ground beneath her shoes. Payson lets her fingers trail against the branches of different trees, feeling such a sudden sense of excitement. Christmastime is one of the few times of the year that Payson fully focuses on her family and little else. As hard as it is to push gymnastics to the back of her head, Payson does so and she doesn't feel any guilt over it.

Buying a tree is only one of the many Keeler Family traditions. Right about now Becca would be yards ahead of her, running and shouting and jumping. Her dad would be trying to keep up with her sister and Payson would stroll along, arm-in-arm with her mother. They'd find the perfect tree, load it into the back of her father's truck, drive home singing Christmas songs and decorate it while sipping her mom's famous hot chocolate.

It makes her sad to think she'll be missing out on all of that.

Then Payson feels Nicky's arm around her shoulders and his hand caressing her back. She tilts her head up to look at him and Nicky smiles back. It seems everyone has his or her own little traditions when it comes to Christmastime and this is Kelly's with Nick. It feels different and weird, but it's nice to know there's something human about Kelly Parker.

"Let's see what this one looks like," Nicky says.

Letting go of Payson, Nicky goes to stand beside a tree that's leaning against the chain-link fence. He grabs it by the trunk and makes it stand up straight while Payson takes a step back and inspects it. It has a bald spot on its left side and the branches droop towards the bottom. Payson shakes her head and they keep walking. They come across a few that are absolutely perfect, but Payson gives him the thumbs down just because she figures that Kelly Parker would veto flawless trees just to give him a hard time.

They finally find the one perfect tree, Nicky volunteers to pay and then ties it to the roof of his car. As Nicky is securing the bungee cords, Payson leans back against the side of the car, rubbing her palms together to try to stay warm.

"So the other day you mentioned talking to Kaylie at the Christmas party thing," Payson says. She may not have deep, burning feelings for Nicky Russo anymore, but she is curious.

"Finally." Nicky chuckles and jumps down from the car bumper.

Payson looks at him confusedly. "What do you mean?"

"I think this is the longest you've gone without mentioning Kaylie ever since Nationals," he says. "Usually Kaylie's a daily topic. To be honest, with how you were acting the other day, I've been starting to think you've been abducted by body snatchers or something."

"Funny."

Payson doesn't say it with sarcasm, but a nervous laugh.

"See, like that," he says, motioning to her. "You're being really weird."

Payson sighs. "Better weird or worse weird?"

Nicky stares at her for a long time as if making a decision. "Not-you weird."

"So you'd rather me be a bitch to everyone within a three mile radius?" she asks.

Nicky laughs and walks over to open her door for her.

"I'd rather you be you, Parks," he says. "Even if that means your name is permanently on the naughty list."

Payson just smacks his arm playfully before she gets into the car.

"See that's the Kelly Parker I know," he says. "Violent and squinty."

"Would you just get in the car?"

Nicky gently shuts her door and Payson rolls her eyes. Again, it's weird, but it works.

-XX-

"Is Nick there?" Kelly asks nervously when they're on the phone later that night.

"No," Payson answers. "And it's not from the lack of trying."

"Well, I'm just that good." Kelly laughs haughtily. "It must be driving him insane. Sexting with him and then not letting him near me…or you. Whatevs. That's beyond the definition of tease."

Payson almost chokes on nothing. "Y—you're sexting with him?"

"What I do isn't any of your business, Keeler," she says.

"No," Payson says. "I'm wearing your face. I'm living your life. I'm a brunette! That answer is not valid anymore, Kelly!"

"And you think I'm having a good ol' time?" Kelly says. "I can't train. I don't want to do any of that artistic crap. Austin Tucker keeps hitting on you and your little friends keep trying to make nice. Let me tell you, Keeler, if I've learned anything it's that blondes definitely do not have more fun."

Payson sighs and slumps down into her bed. "And you think this is easy for me? Training is great and all, but every time I walk into Denver Elite, I'm constantly looking over my shoulder, scared I'm going to get hit in the face with a milkshake. Being paranoid isn't my idea of a great time. Plus, Nicky can tell there's something wrong."

"You remember what we said, right? You can't tell him, Keeler," Kelly says quickly.

"Why not?" she asks. "Kelly, maybe it'll make things easier…"

"No. Kaylie came up to me, all concerned and whatever and I didn't rip her a new one. I respect your friendships so respect mine," Kelly says sternly. "Tell him and I will eat everything in sight. It's going to be hard to make it to the Olympics when you're two-hundred pounds."

Payson sighs. "You don't need to threaten me. We're in this together now."

Kelly pauses for a moment. She has to trust Payson just as much as Payson has to trust her. That isn't a concept Kelly Parker is familiar with. She doesn't have long to ponder this when she hears footsteps from down the hall. Getting caught on the phone when Kim had strictly forbidden it can mean an even longer "grounding" and Kelly's already fed up and it hasn't even been a full day.

"Shit. I think someone's coming and I'm not supposed to be on the phone. I gotta go," Kelly whispers. "Remember what I said, Keeler. Don't tell Nicky anything."

"Alright. And thanks…for not ripping Kaylie a new one," Payson says. "Goodnight, Kelly."

"Whatever, Keeler."

A/N: Alright! I am halfway done with this story! I want to finish it before Christmas, but that may be a little too ambitious. Anyways, encouragement always helps so please review.

xoxo