IM SO LAZEEEEH! But I decided to type this thing…

Blaze's POV

I groggily opened my eyes and shook my head. I looked up, we were next to some giant tree, it had a scary tree face that reminded me of the old people that lived next door. They were all ways sitting there, just sitting on the porch, watching people. Its really creepy. *shudder*

OKAY! Back on track! Where the heck am I? Sam and I were…. Oh my goolosh! Sam! Where is she!

"Sam! SAM! Where are you!"

"Owie, over here Blaze!"

I saw a tan hand poking out of a blueberry bush nearby. I leapt into the bush without hesitation and ripped her from the branches. Take that plant! Cant stop me! Sam was looking at me weirdly from her place in my arms.

"What? Is there something on my face?"

"Y-you… have ELF EARS!"

"Elf ears?….. YEAH! I get to work for Santa! Lookie Sams! You get to slave away in an oppressive elf workshop too!"

"I have elf ears too?"

"Yepperz! Oh wait, I forgot…"

"Forgot what, your mind? You didn't leave it at home AGAIN did you?"

"No, I left my house keys this time… Ugh, you made me get off track. NOW! We can't work for Santa, it's against child labor laws…"

"Maybe in a few years then?"

"B-b-but I wanna work for the big fat man now!"

Working for Santa was my dream… and now when I'm so close to it, its ripped away by the government. Sam, sensing my sadness, hurried on to another topic.

"Where are we anyway? There's a ton of trees, and we don't have any woods back home…"

I looked around us, we seemed to be in a very small field surrounded by trees. The trees themselves seemed to be much larger than the ones I've ever seen, and the bushes scattered here and there make me think the same. In the middle of the small open area is a huge tree, about the size of a large mansion, and taller than the tree tops around us, the top of the tree was much higher than the human eye could see. Oh, it also had a face, annd it was an old face….

"I think… we're in the Kokiri Forest, cause that tree REALLY looks like the Deku Tree."

And we've been insulting the ruler of the forest. Now all my bacon will burn!(1)

"Hey Blaze?"

"Yeah?"

"What's up with your outfit?"

I looked down, I wasn't wearing my normal clothes, I had on a silky black tunic with red trim and a red , sewn triforce on the left shoulder. I also had on red leggings underneath I could feel something heavy on my back, when I grabbed it and pulled it off I saw that it was a silver sheath, along with a golden hilt connected to a finely crafted steel blade.

I looked over at Sam, I hadn't noticed her outfit change before, I was too upset with the government. She was wearing a soft tunic with baby blue covering and golden trim and a golden sequined heart on her right shoulder. She also had dark blue shorts on that went to her knees. She had a white quiver on her back with a golden bow in side along with about 20 pure white arrows. We both had on thick traveling boots, mine were black and hers were brown.

"Awww, your all sunshine and purity, and I look like an emo…." I murmured

under my breath, even though I do think my new outfit rocks.

"Woah woah woah! If we're in different clothes, who changed them?" Sam's voice seemed worried.

Both of our heads slowly turned to the tree.

"Ewww….. Lets just say it happened by magic…" I hurriedly replied.

"Yeah, that makes me feel a lot better."

I wonder if the Deku Tree could help us get home, I don't think Hyrule has our life on a game, or we could get sucked into that. I giggled a little, I made a funny!(2)

I walked over to the Deku Tree, and cupped my hands around my mouth to yell.

"HEY TREE!"

It slowly opened its creepy little eyes and looked at me, I may be crazy, but that thing SO has a moustache.

Sam's POV

Blaze left to talk to the tree I didn't go with her, we kinda insulted that thing more than a few times, so I'm gonna stay away from its range of his botanical fury. I pulled out my bow, I might as well learn how to shoot the thing. After a few shots, I realized that shooting it felt natural, and I was hitting the mark every time. Hmm, I wonder how my stealth is? I dropped into a crouch, AKA "sniper mode" and I army crawled my way to the back of the tree, I pulled myself up into a crouch again and took aim. I let my arrow loose and it nailed the tree right where I thought its butt was, but the arrow only bounced off, not even piercing the thick bark.

Strong tree. I picked up all my arrows and put them back in my quiver. Blaze was sauntering over so I suppose she was done talking.

"We have to wait for a boy. It may take a while, but at least we appeared on the same day he comes. His name is Link. If we help him and save Hyrule we can go home."

"Okay then, but what's Hyrule? Some sort of city? And what's up with the talking tree?"

"The Deku Tree said we were sucked into this world when reality ripped. We are in our game, Ocarina of Time."

"WHAT? No WAY! This is so cool!"

" I know! That is EXACTLY what I said!"

Blaze's POV

We had been waiting for hours… and he STILL wasn't here. I think he has mental problems, all you have to do is get a sword and shield, that or shove Milo, you couldn't do it in the game, but It could happen here. Sam and I had played 12 rounds of Rock, Paper, Scissors and we were utterly bored to death. Death… reminds me of Lord Death from Soul Eater, that was a good show, too bad they didn't go by the manga, I wanted to see Noah-sama and evil Kid…. I heard Sam talking so I turned my head to her from where I was laying on the ground. She was sitting on a small hill with one hand over the other, moving them in a circular motion for a few seconds and then into the shape of a bird. I walked over to listen.

"Turtle, Turtle, Turtle, EMO!"(3)

I plopped down next to her, and soon we were both making turtles and emos. It was so entertaining it lasted till Link got here. He was wearing his usual green hat and tunic, and his blonde hair looked so unbrushed I wanted to hold him down and comb it for him, he could be so pretty if he would brush it…

"You must be Link."

"H-how did you know my name?" his voice was still so childlike aka he isn't gonna hit puberty any time soon. He looked so suspicious I decided to make a funny out of it.

"I know ALL! I am the evil sorceress…. BLAZE!"

I gave an evil laugh, a pretty good one at that, but he looked unamused.

"The tree told her." Sam! Why would you betray me?

"Don't call him 'the tree' his name is the Deku Tree." he yelled defensively. Ooh, somebody's a tree hugging hippie… and its not me. He sighed in defeat and turned to the open mouth of the Deku Tree.

"Let's get going."

Oh hey, the trees done talking! I ran into the mouth, with Link and Sam following closely behind.

Link's POV

Okay, this has to be the weirdest day of my whole life. First I get a fairy, then I', summoned to the Great Deku Tree, and now I have to save him along with two freakish weirdos that were yelling about turtles and emos. When I got into the Deku Tree I saw the girl called Blaze bouncing on a spider web. Great… weird AND stupid…

Sam's POV

Oh. My. God. Is she…. JUMPING ON A SPIDERWEB? She IS! I thought she was afraid of bugs, especially spiders….

"Blaze. You DO realize that's a spider web your using as a trampoline?"

She looked down and what she was jumping on before screaming and crying while running for me.

"BUGGGIEESSS!"

Great, now she is in the fetal position rocking in the corner. Is she mumbling about "close calls"? I pulled her off the floor and dragged her to a nearby ladder. Wait, hold up, why is there ladders and doors in a tree anyway? I wonder if the makers of the game ever considered that? I rushed toward Link who was a little far ahead of us to catch up. When we caught up I burst out laughing, Link had fallen head first into a chest! I grabbed his feet and pulled him back out. He had a red face, and I'm pretty sure he's never gonna live that down. I reached into the chest and got the map, and we continued on.

Blaze's POV

Hah! He fell into a treasure chest! I always thought it would be hilarious if that happened in the game. After laughing hysterically for a second I followed behind Sam and Link. Link killed all the spiders as we traveled up the great wooden ramp, and soon we were into the next room. When we went in the room was very empty, it was circular with one other barred door across from us and a pile of leaves in the center.

Sam and Link went to investigate the bars, but since I knew what was coming, I sat down next to the unbarred door to wait and see the Deku Scrub. Lo and behold, a small, round, wooden head with a pipelike mouth poked up from the leaf pile. It looked me in the eye for a second before turning and shooting Link in the back of the head. The scrub hid underground as Link spun around with a glare.

"Why the heck did you throw that at me?"

I gave him a determined stare.

"I threw nothing…"

"Then who did? The leaf pile?" he yelled sarcastically.

I nodded franticly and pointed to the leaves. He gave a face-palm before replying.

"I know it wasn't the leaves Blaze, just don't do it again."

Sam was turned around looking at me questioningly. I pointed to the leaf pile, but before she could turn around she caught me mouthing the word "Watch." she joined me in a concentrated stare on the leaf pile. In a few seconds the scrub popped up and shot a nut at Link, it hit him in the butt and we both started giggling. He spun around with a death glare that reminded me of Sasuke. This time Sam was on my side, we both pointed franticly to the pile, and this time the scrub decided to help by popping up and shooting a nut at Link. It hit him right between the eyes and before the scrub went down I jabbed it with my sword. It jumped out and started yelling,

"I surrender! I surrender! I will sell you overpriced goods if you stop this attack!"

"Overpriced? OVERPRICED! THIS! IS! ON SALE!"

I kicked him in the face and he hid in his little hole crying. What a wuss.

Sam's POV

Awww she made the poor thing cry! I watched as it burst into tears at her Sparta Kick and hid in his little hole. Link, unfazed, went ahead into the next room since Blaze knew there were spiders. He came back with a few items. (I cannot remember what they are…) We went back into the hall and I waited in the corner with Blaze until Link had killed all the spiders. They seem to respawn like every second. I looked over at Blaze, she was our only hope in this world. She was like a living walkthrough, she knew how to get through every dungeon. And now she is spazzing out because of spiders, she didn't seem afraid when she was playing Twilight Princess, but I suppose living it is scarier.

Unless she gets over her fear of bugs, we aren't going to make it in this world, she told me herself, bugs are all over the place in Hyrule. After my revelations Link came back and led us onward through the dungeon. Blaze gave us tips and directions to get through until the boss room. When we entered, Blaze started shaking really bad.

"Blaze?"

She pointed to the ceiling, a HUGE butt-ugly spider was on the ceiling, and who wants to guess that its gonna eat us? I do. It dropped down in front of us and its red eye spinned in its socket, it really needs to see a beautician. Blaze was gripping her sword till her fingers turned white, all of a sudden she stopped shaking. A second later she rushed at the spider yelling.

"FOR NARNIA!"

She nailed it in the eye and it crawled up on the ceiling.

"Sam Link! Use your bow and slingshot to hit its eye to bring it down!"

I nodded and strung a bow, as it was shaking its babies off I took aim. After Blaze killed all the mini spiders I shot my arrow. It flew through the air and hit the eye in the pupil, soon the spider came tumbling down. Blaze and Link came up and beat the crap out of it, I guess Blaze is over her fear then.

The spider, which Blaze said was named Gohma, burst into blue flame, and in her place was a blue circle of light. I took a deep breath before stepping in with Link and Blaze. Three crystals of light formed around us and we disappeared with a bright flash. When my sight regained we were all standing in front of the Deku Tree.

Blaze's POV

Sam and I played tag with the Kokiri while Link talked to the Deku Tree, it was fun though. We shoved Milo over a couple of times and he tried to fight us, at least until he saw our weapons. Link and Navi, who was feeling left out since I was doing her work, came back with the Kokiri Emerald, the gem of the forest. After Link explained the Deku Tree's death we made our way out of the village. As we crossed the bridge to Hyrule Field a girl named Saria, Link's best friend, came running to say her goodbyes. She gave Link an Ocarina, and before the silence could get awkward Link ran off into the exit. Before Sam and I left she stopped us.

"Here, this is a gift from the Kokiri, you were fun to play with." she handed me a black guitar and Sam received a white harp. As we made to leave I looked back at Saria, she was waving and smiling, but only I noticed the tears in her eyes.

END CHAPTER

TEN PAGES! what now Infected reviewers? Is THAT long enough! Okay, I admit I skimped on the dungeon, but I have to, they are too long and not as funny. This is gonna be a comedy, Blaze has my personality, and I have yelled the stuff she has before, I also have a fear of bugs. I don't know who Sam's based off of, shes just the slightly less crazy one.

(1) Calcifur's curse on Sophie in Howl's Moving Castle (fav movie) "May all your bacon burn…"

(2) my friend Kayla says she made a funny instead of saying joke.

(3) I borrowed that from Indi, so I am telling you its not mine, though I have done it before.

THANKS FOR READING!