A/N: Hey, hey, hey chickens and roosters, here's the next installment of "The orgasm that got away"-as one of my readers called it. LMAO Seriously, I flove you all...thanks for the reviews and alerts and fav'ing of this story. Ass smack and bewbie pats to you all.
Thanks to the lovely lexiecullen17 & SnozzberryFaery for betafishing this crazy shit for me. They rock hard, and to Twighlitfanfic (aka ipreferbrunettes) for pre-reading this for me. Smoochies, ladies.
I'm hosting a contest with the wonderous YogaGal_ and SorcerressCirce, called The Plot Bunny Contest. Check out the entries that we've got in so far-you can go to the C2 on my page. Entries are due in July 31st so keep an eye out.
SM owns Twi, I just turn them into pornstars.
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The rest of my night was spent tossing and turning in bed. When I finally got to sleep I dreamt about hot, raunchy, wild abandoned sex. And fuck me if I didn't wake up right before I got a chance to orgasm.
The result was me waking up, still frustrated, and not just sexually. My head ached and my muscles felt stretched but not sore in the way I needed them to be. My resolve still held firm in the fact that I was heading back to the Pleasure Chest and giving the cowboy a piece of mind for playing with my emotions...and my satisfaction?.
I mean, can't a girl have a professional career and a social life? Men did it all the time. GAH! No, I was too consumed with being a good doctor and making it through my residency to date or have sex. I wasn't bad looking or anything. I would date if men didn't fucking irk my nerves so damned much; but I'd been reduced to shopping at a purple walled store with wild blue-eyed devils as salesmen.
The same snake oil salesman that I wanted to pummel into cowboy mash. Yes, because I finally broke down and embarrassed myself into a rambling mess buying small cute animals turned sex toys-that didn't fulfill their job description. Haha, I make it sound like innocent church girls turned Girls Gone Wild bewb flashers. That's why I was most definitely heading back to Hollywood and giving that Southerner a piece of my mind.
A quick clock check told me it was early in the day. My shift didn't start until eleven tonight, so I basically had the entire day to kill. And we're going start with the blue-eyed devil. My inner bitch reared her ugly head, and I had a feeling that she would be front and center for the rest of the day.
I found stale bagels on top of the fridge. Sadly, I gave up on breakfast when I found myself trying to gnaw through the damned thing like I was a tiger in the wild, munching on antelope chips.
Just outside my building, I lucked out; there was a cab. Not just a cab, but an empty one...ready to go. I hopped in and gave the guy the street name where I wanted to go. No way in hell was I telling him to drop me off at a sex store.
I knew that I was being paranoid- like the guy would want to dive into a conversation on dildos, handcuffs, and lube. Still, every time I looked up from my lap-where the black bag was tucked inside a grocery sack, hiding the dark plastic-I swear he was eyeing me in the rear view mirror.
The moment he turned the corner of the street I wanted and the store was in my sight-line, I hollered for him to just let me out. Hand to God, the man winked at me when I paid the fare and jumped out of the backseat...like my needy vagina had set it afire.
Once I was sure my jeans hadn't turned me into Johnny Blaze, I set to walking-well, stomping-toward the Pleasure Chest's front doors.
The sky was overcast and barely any sunshine could escape the dreary gray wash of clouds. I was so busy noticing the weather that what I didn't see was the store hours sign to the right of the front door. Oh, but my face noticed when it slammed into the hard reflective glass as I tried to push it open.
A loud "thwap" resounded in my ears. The hair that had fallen forward in my eyes was angrily pushed back, my hand staying tangled in the tresses as I exhaled in utter frustration. "Fuckity, fuck stupid fucking door. Stupid fucking rabbit. Screwy fucking elusive orgasmic experience it promised."
My voice had risen and was bouncing off the glass, back at me-much in the way my face had. When it dawned on me that the people reflected in the door were behind me, on the street, and watching my erratic complaining about orgasms and rabbits...my face turned hot, and I could feel the red heat creep up my neck and face.
To try and deflect the attention I had brought on myself, I read the store hours sign out loud. The place didn't open until noon. Noon, on a weekday? Of course an adult novelty store wouldn't think of selling sinful things before lunch time.
That thought alone made me snort, and I decided that there was no way I was hopping back in a cab to leave and come back later. Across the street was a small coffee shop, it's glass window boasting the best coffee cake in the whole city.
The sweet cinnamon and brewed bean smell hit me mid-stride as I stepped up and onto the curb. Well, tried to, anyway. My toe hit the edge of the cement ledge, and I stumbled my way onto the sidewalk. I mean, I was no Grace Kelly, but I sure as hell wasn't some bumbling bitch who couldn't put one foot in front of the other. I decided to blame it on sexual frustration, lack of sustenance and a general grumpiness.
As I took another step, I slammed into something hard.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" I screeched out, irritation oozing from my every syllable.
"Well, I hadn't said anything yet, but I could tell you a joke if you'd like." The deep bass of a male's voice sounded out, close to my ear. My eyes shot up and focused on a pair of sparkling emerald green eyes.
I pulled away quickly, as I recognized that I had rammed right into his chest and still hadn't backed out of his personal space. "S-s-sorry, it's been a crappy morning...well the last twelve hours or so." Shit, I was even stumbling over my own words.
"No worries." He smirked and held the door open for me. "But maybe you should go in first." The underlying laughter in his words made the genuine smile on his face astounding. His teeth were a gleaming white. I did a double-take, because for a second it almost looked like he had fangs.
Shaking the weird girl I'd become out of my head, I walked into the cafe. At the counter, the teenage girl standing there just stared at me until I ordered. "Ummm I'd like a Chai Latte with a shot of espresso and a slice of coffee cake please." She grinned up at me then mumbled something about that being her favorite drink.
Instant friendship aside, I waited happily at the drink counter for my order. I noted, with satisfaction, that the place was crowded and there were not many seats open. A good sign that the window bragging may be true.
Just as my order came up, a gentleman sitting near me stood and offered me his seat. "I'm getting ready to leave and you look like you could use a seat." He smiled at me, his teeth peeking through the massive beard that surrounded his mouth.
"Thanks." I spoke quietly and took the proffered seat. It faced the window, but not the one showing the shop I would be going to. I sighed a breath of relief from my lungs and I eased at the fact I wouldn't be faced by the place causing my irk.
Instead of focusing on my frustration, I lounged back and thought of Irish green eyes and a perfect jawline.
God, I needed to get laid. If I didn't soon, I was sure one of the many fantasies I'd been having would leave me moaning in public. An audience was not what I was looking for. Nonetheless, my vivid imagination kicked up again, and I thought about the almost-fangs I'd seen, piercing my skin in an erotic nip. Before I knew it, my phone pinged with an alarm telling me it was noon.
I looked down at the table and saw that, evidently, my stomach and mouth didn't need the occupied part of my mind to consume what I'm sure was the cities best coffee cake and latte, because my plate was clean and my cup was empty. As my body turned in the seat, the sound of rustling plastic rose up, my package slipping off my lap and hitting the floor...the concealed black bag spilling out.
A gasp escaped my lips and with the looks I got from nearby coffee-goers, either they knew just what I had in there or they plain out thought I was a nutso bag lady. Erikah Badu's song popped in my head and played like bad background music as I scooped up my crap from the floor tucked it under my arm like I was pro football player, and bolted from the store.
The Pleasure Chest was now my end zone, and I planned to spike the damned bunny in a bag as an immaculate touch down dance. Maybe that's not the best approach, I thought. What? To let them in on the very evident fact that you've gone crazy from lack of sex? Well, yeah. Sure, keep it under wraps and then let your crazy pounce on them.
Aaaand...that was exactly what I did. The girl from last night that had rung me up was practically right where I left her. I smiled sweetly and walked calmly to the cashier's counter.
"Hi, I was in here last night." I spoke, the words an even stream falling from my mouth.
"Oh yeah," She interrupted. "You're pinky." Oh boy, if that wasn't the match that lit my fire.
"No, I'm the pissed off bitch whose new 'Guaranteed' toy failed. Literally stopped working the moment it got me working." Yeah, it was a cunt move, and I may have used air quotations, but fuck it, I was pissed. Her lax jaw and wide eyes told me that I had made my point.
Hubris swelled in my chest, but you know what they say about being prideful. A cough, slash clearing of a throat, behind me deflated my pride parade. Simultaneously, I saw the awkward look on her face hadn't been from my rant, but for me. I turned to see a smirking face and familiar green eyes, glinting with a knowledge I wish they didn't have.
"Fuuuuuck." I choked out.
"That seems to be the problem, yes?" My mouth fell open at his words. "A right to the point kinda gal, I like it." He grinned.
I left the package on the counter, took the wad of ID's and credit cards from my pocket, and unwrapped the receipt from around my Visa, which got dropped next to the black bag.
"I knew I shouldn't have listened to that silly, bouncy nurse Alice." I said under my breath and huffed out of the store. "Hey, you can have pinky now. The fucking thing reminded me of too many failed escapades." I shot over my shoulder as I pulled open the front door.
Feeling very emboldened, I hailed a cab and took myself shoe shopping. A good pair of shoes was worth every penny you would spent on them and though they may leave your feet achy, at the end of the day, they make you feel sexy and fabulous.
I contemplating taking a cab, but I decided I'd better walk instead. The animosity and tension coursing through me needed to be walked off. I spotted a few shoe shops a little ways up the block. As long as I found my shoes and got myself a quick dinner, I could head home and change before my shift started.
Two hours later I emerged with not one but three new pairs of shoes-one of which was currently snuggling my feet. It was love at first sight, so I did what any rational woman would do, I bought it in three colors. My tennis shoes were tucked in the bag, my new Jimmy Choos on my feet.
My steps slicked and clacked on the pavement of the sidewalk. Looking around, I realized that no matter the time of day, this part of Hollywood, the crazies came out to play. I saw women in slinky dresses that were blatantly men. Hookers, teenagers, and shoppers alike wove in and out of each other's path with a second glance.
I was so right, the new shoes made me feel empowered and emboldened...so much so that I feared for anyone who stepped in front of me at work today. Doctor Bella Swan was not going to put up with the bullshit tonight. I smirked at the thought and tossed my hair over my shoulder in a flippant move, which got me a few whistles from some straight men and the transvestites.
Walking back down the street, towards the cluster of cabs, I may have even heard a "Work it, sister!" ring out behind me.
Oh yes, honey, I planned to.
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A/N: *snickers* Soooo, I told you she'd meet up with SEXward, didn't I?
What did you think? And where do you think my twisted little mind is going with this?
*whispers* hit the review button, purrlease.