A/N: *peeks in and looks around* Whew, if you're reading this you're still along for the ride. I love you all, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year's.
Big thanks to lexiecullen for quick beta'ing this shit.
SM owns all things Twilight.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
EPOV
I didn't think I'd ever gotten showered and changed for a date quicker than I had after rushing out of Bella's place. Now, I was just sitting on the bed, my once tamed hair a mess of tangles and obstinate strands poking out.
The only thing on my mind was the wanton expression on Bella's face as I closed the door and fled.
Pussy.
Shut up! This is your fault, you over eager bastard. If it weren't for you, I'd be calmly picking up the girl I want to date and then fantasizing about screwing her at the end of the night. But nope, you come in and mess it all up.
Wouldn't be the first time I came and messed something up.
Fuck! Just be quiet.
Leaving her there, wanting me the way I wanted her, had been hard. Yes, definitely felt hard to me. Briefly I looked down to my conversational cock and finally sighed out an apology to it. I mean, it did have a point.
I wanted to get ready quickly and be back by her side for our date. I wanted her close to me so much that I hadn't even stopped to think where I was taking her out.
Frustratingly, I racked my brain for something fun but not childish, romantic but not too intimate and could think of nothing that blew me away. And let's be honest, if I wasn't thrilled about what I was coming up with then why in the hell would Bella enjoy it?As I fell back onto my mattress my thoughts quieted enough for me to hear the rambling of the radio. My obsession for music at all times paid off as I heard the DJ talk about a concert out at Santa Monica Pier.
The Pier was holding a tribute show called "Rock Through The Ages," featuring great songs from the last five decades. I deduced that anyone, even a doctor who lived at work, could appreciate the great ones. Plus, it was a bonus that the concert was at the pier. The whole date came together instantly.
I picked up my jacket, phone and keys and headed toward the door humming along to "Come Together" by the Beatles. As I sped back over to her place, I got on the phone and called up a party promoter that had once needed me to fill an interesting request for an artist that he had booked at The Viper Room.
'Discretion is everything,' he had said, then tacked on the customary, 'I'll owe you one."
Two rings later he answered. I could barely hear him over all the background noise. "Hey, Eric," I spoke loudly to make sure he heard me and my over friendly greeting, "Remember that favor you owe me?"
His laughter was the only answer I got for a few moments before he finally spoke. "I knew you'd collect sooner or later. Hold on, let me get somewhere quieter."
Eric's version of quieter was still ear deafening. "So, what can I get the man who can get anything he wants just by smiling?" It was an old joke between us. He thought I was pretty, and I thought he was a very flirty, short "Fabuuulousss" guy.
"Not too much, buddy. Just two tickets for the tribute show at the pier." I finished up in a light tone and then held my breath for the rejection.
But it didn't come.
"Leave it to you to know just the perfect thing to ask for. It's like you read minds, or did someone tell you I was helping promote it?" He laughed again, and the noisy background made much more sense. Seconds ago I had been a bit disturbed by the sounds of kids' voices-and that at one of Eric's shows was disconcerting.
"I didn't know, actually. You're just the only guy I know in the scene. " Now I laughed, using the same remark as he had when he needed to find an array of sex toys.
"Just give me a ring when you're close, and I'll meet you with the passes."
I thanked him and told him it wouldn't be too long before we'd be there. I was going to leave this as a surprise in case Eric fell through and so that she couldn't veto what I knew would be fun.
My heart was like a jumping bean in my chest, and suddenly I felt like a puberty-ridden teen picking up the hot girl for the dance.
Nope, your mom drove us that night. I rolled my eyes and prayed that my dick kept its thoughts to itself for a bit. Bella would love to see me in public, arguing with the very thing she wanted to get her perfect little hands on.
Before I had finished speaking out loud to the said puberty-ridden teenage boy in my pants, I had pulled into the parking lot of Bella's apartments.
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Bella looked fantastically edible when she walked out the door. When I calmed down enough and buzzed her place, she said if we wanted to make it to the date, I had better wait for her to come down.
"A truer statement couldn't have been made, Bella," I agreed as soon as I saw the very low-cut, feminine top and girly skirt. I wanted nothing more than to defile the innocent woman she looked like.
She smirked, turned a beautiful shade of pink, and nearly tripped over some loose gravel. Good thing she caught herself, or else she would have face planted into the side of my car.
"Knew I picked the right shoes," I heard her grumble, and I had to stifle the laughter that was bubbling up in my chest. "Don't think I don't see your shoulders shaking in the window, mister," she fumed.
The laughter boomed out of me then, and I opened the door for her, bowing as she stepped past me to sit down. "M'lady," was all I could muster up before closing the door.
For the whole twenty-two minutes of the ride-yes, I counted-Bella grilled me on the details of our evening. Once she discovered that I wouldn't relent, she pouted and stared out the window. That, I found out, was the perfect time to ogle her legs, which were peeking out from her skirt, and the rise and fall of her breasts.
I half-chuckled, half-groaned as she grumbled out soft feigned complaints.
"If you weren't so dead set on being stingy with your penis, tonight's plans wouldn't be a mystery." Or, "Stupid hot, stubborn sex shop guy with all your toy and pleasure knowledge, makes me sick that I wore this skirt. Really it's a waste. Easy access isn't needed when you're on a date with a celibate."
It was with that comment that I started choking on the insane amount of saliva that had built up in my mouth. I couldn't help it, I had become the eager, drooling wolf in the cartoons from my childhood.
She was amazing, different, and just the change I had never looked for but realized I needed. When I approached the exit, I phoned Eric.
Making sure not to give any hints to Bella, the only thing I said was, 'We're close by."
Then, I side-eyed her the rest of the way, watching as her eyes grew with recognition, then lit up with what I hoped was excitement.
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BPOV
Edward opened his car door only to be met by a bouncing, bubbly, black-spikey haired...guy. The most ridiculous thought popped into my head about Alice dressed in drag to spy on our date. Well, until he spoke. Alice had a much deeper voice than Eric did.
He introduced himself to me and complimented Edward's choice in dates. Though somehow it seemed like a back handed compliment. He smiled a crazy animated smile at us then told us to follow him.
"My mistake. He's just her male doppelganger," I whispered to myself, only Edward heard me and elbowed me lightly.
"I once thought about introducing them."
"Who?" I tried being coy.
"You know very well who. The two peppiest people we know. I'm surprised they haven't met already. I think they have the same hair dresser."
Of course I snorted in a super unladylike way, which made Edward smile and Eric/Alice turn over his shoulder and give me the stink face.
I further ruined 'people's' perception of me when we reached the entrance onto the Santa Monica pier. Eric handed Edward two VIP passes to the concert that was postered everywhere. I may or may not have jumped up and down squealing and wondering out loud which songs were going to be played.
All in all, it was a good ice breaker. Edward told me that we had about an hour before the music would begin. Since we had backstage access, we didn't need to rush to get a good spot. So, we walked along the pier and looked onto the ocean, making guesses about which of our favorite songs would be performed.
We both agreed that any form of Rolling Stones or Beatles had to be on the playlist, then took turns naming out decades and the top bands of the time-in our opinion.
There was a row of game booths lining the right side of the walk. As we stopped, I opened my mouth but was interrupted by Edward.
"Come on, Bella, please don't deny me the chance to win my date a prize." He puppy-dog-eyed me, and I punched him softly on the shoulder.
"I was going to do nothing of the sort, date. I was going to challenge you to a game."
A wicked grin graced his face, and the carnie guy laughed outright at the both of us. When all was said and done, I was smiling brightly, and Edward was holding a pretty purple and pink unicorn, a rainbow printed on the right side of its ass.
"Don't gloat, Bella, and you really should hold this." He tried to push the sparkly stuffed animal at me, but I held up my hands. "C'mon, Edward, please don't hurt my feelings by returning the prize I just won for my date."
"Ha-ha-ha, funny girl." Sexy man. Ugh. I internally groaned as my pervy vagina made her first date appearance. To get my mind off everything running through my brain, I decided to grin at him. Then, he tried to get me to take the unicorn from him. In a very nasally, childlike voice he spoke.
"Ohhhh, I love him, love him, love him." He made a show of squeezing the plush animal to my face. "Thanks, Miss Bella. His name is Purpony, and he's the bestest." Once he saw that we had a nice little audience, he got louder going in for the kill. "You're so pretty, Miss Bella." He squealed in the happiest four-year-old imitation I could imagine before smacking a very wet kiss on my cheek.
A large group of teens near us began laughing and pointing fingers in our direction, and a few older folks talked in a hush whisper. My face got tight as I tried futilely to not laugh at him, trying not to encourage him. Instead of saying anything, I over-dramatically wiped his spit off my cheek, then snatched the unicorn away from him and thrust it at a passing little girl.
"That was very, very naughty Edward," I chastised, playing along. "You know we only play those games when we are at home." Then, I soundly smacked his ass before grabbing his hand and dragging him back in the direction of the stage.
Now, loud whispers and laughing mingled with Edward's and my giggles.
This date was off to a great start.
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The cover band was fantastic. Much to my surprise, they didn't stick to one music era before moving on to the next. One second we were listening to Rolling Stones, "No Sympathy" (to which Edward and I both smiled knowingly at one another) and then the next Nirvana's "Teen Spirit."
It was wonderful and exciting and mellow-one emotion after the next. Edward stood next to me and gently placed small touches along my arms and hands. I watched out of the corner of my eye. Edward's movements were making me grin and laughter soon after bubbled to the surface.
Kurt Cobain and the nineties grunge had him head banging, and The Beatles, Stones, and Monkeys had him hopping around and swaying along to the lyrics. The Pat Benatar covers made me giggle hopelessly; I always pictured drag queens singing when a guy covered a female vocalist.
The late sixties Mommas and the Poppas coupled with the seventies Skynard were heavenly music to my ears, so much so that I couldn't stop myself from singing along. Naturally, Edward quirked an eyebrow at me before he outwardly made fun of my horrid singing abilities.
"Damn, Bella, it's a good thing you don't moan like that." I stuck my tongue at him mid-chorus of Freebird and kept on belting out the song. It had always been one of my dad's favorite records.
How did Edward reply? Of course, in the snarky way I was becoming accustomed to. "Really, Bella, it sounds like you've got either a hairball or dying cat that coughed up the hairball in your throat."
Soon after, the tribute show was over, and I was ecstatic about the night. Only thing was, I couldn't stop thinking about getting Edward naked and hearing what his moans sounded like.
"Now that we've had our first date, how long do you think you'll make me wait to get to second, third, or, you know, home? Are you going modern-standard three dates, or would you like me to woo and court you?" I couldn't believe my mouth had just spewed all of my vagina's passive aggressive thoughts.
Edward feigned shock, his hand fluttering in front of his open mouth. "First, dear Miss Swan, our date has not yet ended." Seriously, even with a bad fake British accent, he's hot. My internal musing were muting the bad imitation. "Secondly, I'm not sure if I could stand your methods of wooing or courting."
Now it was my turn to be appalled.
"Does that shock you?" I nodded, still unable to form words past the beginnings of stutters. "Let's recap. You've fallen in to me, nearly threw a vibrator at me, screamed, stormed away, and let's not forget that you've propositioned me more than once, and are always saying fuck me in that sweet little voice."
I tried to look offended, but the sight of him trying to keep his composure had us both grinning like fools by the end of his rant.
"Well, now that that's...semi-cleared up, where are you taking me next?"
I took advantage of the crowd around us to loop my arm through his and cuddle closer to him. "I figured we could go traditional for this part of the date and get dinner."
"I could eat," I said, smiling as I pressed my cheek against his bicep.
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"Bellllaaa." Edward had this silly, blank expression on his face, skewing his perfection for a brief second before he repeated, "Belllllaaa."
He'd been talking in the slow drawl of a slow southerner ever since we approached the front doors. Our watress had been cutting eyes at us from afar ever since he ordered that way, too. She'd smiled, and then under her breath said, "Original. Not like I haven't heard that one before," as she strode over to the computer to hopefully put our order in, sans saliva.
"Edward, if she has the cook spit in my food, I'm soooo not gonna be happy," I explained politely and quietly across the table. That way, if she hadn't thought of adding 'extras,' I wouldn't give her the idea.
"Well, Bellllaaa, momma always said 'Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.'" He grinned at me cheekily, and I knew there was no stopping his fun.
"Fine." I eyed him-well, glared at him-before I smiled. "I'm glad I ordered the shrimp, Edward, but did you see the menu? There was fried shrimp, coconut shrimp, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo, and there's stir fried shrimp, shrimp burgers, and shrimp sandwiches. Whew, that there's a lotta shrimp."
Damned Forrest Gump, and it's awesomness to hide memorable quotes inside your brain that never leave. And damned people for making a real life Bubba Gumps with all its fantastical shrimp dishes.
Edward literally started slapping the table, laughter booming out of him so much so that the near by tables were staring.
"I'm a professional comedian. He's helping me with my act," I explained to the touristy couple close by. The husband/boyfriend was wearing a Bubba Gump hat and shirt. His wife blinked at me before whispering to her spouse. "See, Frank, told you we'd see some stars here. Everyone loves shrimp."
I smiled and nodded before turning back to my now red -aced, Cheshire cat of a date. "And what, Edward, is so hilarious? You've been talking funny the whole time."
"Oh, it's just..." He giggled. "It's just that your Bubba Gump is almost as bad as your singing."
I threw my folded napkin at him, and he retaliated by throwing his at me. It bounced off my arm and fell to the floor. As I leaned down to pick it up, something caught my eye. There was a small slip of paper poking out of the folds of Edward's napkin.
Seriously? You've got to be fucking kidding me.
Setting the napkin on the table, I showed Edward the paper. He threw his hands up in a classic 'I didn't do anything' move, to which I nodded that I knew. He hadn't even bothered to unfold the napkin before tossing it my way.
The waitress, a girl named Bree, returned to the table just then.
"Can I get anyone some more to drink?" I shook my head, and Edward stared at me blankly. "Okay, your Drunken Lt. Dan and shrimp gumbo should be up soon. Anything else I can do for you, just let me know."
I noticed that her head was inclined toward Edward; she kind of resembled a poodle who'd attempted a relaxer on the curls and failed with her head cocked to the side like that.
"Umm, Bree was it?"
She darted her eyes over to me, a fake smile plastered in place, and nodded.
"I do have one other thing for you." I unfolded the paper and handed it to her, her name and phone number scrawled across it. "Very original, not like that's happened before."
Her face colored a brilliant pink, almost the color of freshly cooked shrimp, now that I thought about it. She turned and walked off, saying she was going to check on our food.
Before she was out of ear shot I told Edward, "And here I was, thinking she was shooting us dirty looks because of your awful Forrest Gump impersonation. Who knew that was her seduction face?"
"You're so mean, Bella." He winked. "I'm oddly turned on by that."
Our food came out, carried by a large guy with slicked back black hair and too many muscles. Hey, look, it's a Jersey Shore cast off. Wait, do they vote people off that show? No, but they should, I mused to myself.
"Hi, guys." He had a thick accent I couldn't quite place. "Bree wasn't feeling well, so I'm going to take over for her. I'm Demetri by the way."
I tried hard not to smile too big, but it was hard not to. To top it off, Demetri ,with his fantastic accent, decided he too would quote the movie with Edward. Instantly, I liked him and was all too sure that his imitation had to be worse than mine.
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We walked back down the pier. The breeze off the ocean had started to make the night air chilly. Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulder and squeezed me close to him.
"Dinner was...fun," he mused.
"Watch it, Gump, or I'll be yelling 'Run, Forrest, run' as I chase you down the pier."
Edward put his whole body weight on me, leaning just long enough to make me stumble.
"Ass."
"What? My leg fell asleep." He kissed my cheek, and my body thrilled and reverted back to a pervert in all of two seconds. "That, and I just wanted an excuse to hold you closer."
I could feel my face heating up, equaling the heat that was coursing through my sex-deprived body. We need to make him see that he doesn't want to be a church boy any longer. Wow, my vagina now sounded like a corrupt priest or at least a true sinner. Oh bitch please, like you don't want to sin with Edward right the fuck now.
"Fuck me," I whispered too low for anyone to hear.
"Want to stop here to get some ice cream." He had paused without me noticing, and I ended up in front of him, a step out from under his arm.
I took a step back quickly.
Then, I looked up and saw the name of the place. "Seems like a perfect fit." My voice was light and airy, dreamlike almost, and I thought I heard him mutter, "You have no idea."
When I turned to look at him to see if I heard correctly, I saw a embarrassed look on his face before his trademark smirk replaced it. "Ouch, Bella, you wound me." He grasped his shirt in one fist while his other hand opened the door.
"Welcome to Soda Jerks." There was a cute, short boy, barely sixteen, behind the counter of the retro ice cream shoppe that welcomed us in.
Edward and I decided to order the large brownie sundae to share. As the 'soda jerk' made our dessert, I watched it come together and was glad we had decide that one order was enough for us both. The thing was ginormous.
I bet Edward is ginormous.
"God, this looks amazing." I said as we walked over to a table. "I can't wait to dig in."
I wish Edward would decide to dig in.
He smiled and after setting the bowl on the glossy Formica table top I watched-enraptured by the sight-as he licked some chocolate sauce off his fingers.
UNF, those fingers, that mouth...can I lick him like that?
My horny vagina was muddling my thoughts and soon the clear mind I usually own was a mucky mess of innuendos and fantasies.
Edward putting his mouth on me, me licking whip cream off Edward's abs, him returning the favor with chocolate sauce and cherries. My thighs went slick at my over active imaginations.
The fact that I'd chosen to wear a skirt made me realize that I was a genius. The cool air helped to cool down my thighs and I knew that when I stood up I wouldn't have an embarrassing wet crotch look going on.
"Bella, you okay?" I could hear his voice as he tried to quiet;y ask the question.
"Huh? Yeah I'm okay, why?" I blinked several times to get the image of a glorious, naked Edward out of my thoughts.
It didn't work.
"Well you were staring at me, but not really." He smiled at me and patted my hand. "To be honest you kind of looked like you were going to eat me."
"You could tell?" My mouth sputtered out without my brain's permission, which caused my hands to fly up and cover it up.
He simply smirked and held up a spoonful of warm brownie and ice cream goodness.
The brownie was really good and I tried to delve into thoughts of how fudgy and good it was and not how sexy and naked he was under his clothes. Neither of us could finish the monstrous yumminess and we sat back with half a bowl remaining.
"So, Miss Bella, are you ready for me to take you home?"
"Oh, you have no idea." I grinned and batted my eyes at him.
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A/N: sorry if the breaks are a little off, I'm still not used to ffn taking the ones I put in out. I tried to fix it best I could.
What did you think? Was it a good 'first' date?
Leave me some holiday love, press that button y'all