Mamono Hunter Ukyou

Yokkyuu: Flame of Desire

Part 2

By Edward A. Simons

Based on characters and situations created by Takahashi Rumiko. Ranma 1/2 and characters copyright Shogakukan, Kitty Animation Circle, and Takahashi Rumiko. Devil Hunter Yohko and characters copyright NCS, Toho Company, LTD., and Mad House. This story revised 2005 by Edward Simons.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

You are not wrong, who deem

That my days have been a dream;

All that we see or seem

Is but a dream within a dream.

Edgar Allen Poe, "A Dream Within A Dream"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

A voice murmured in the background, but he couldn't understand the words. Ranma opened his eyes a fraction, seeing the sunlight peering around the curtain. He glanced the other direction, towards the sound. Ukyou was on the phone, speaking softly.

He sighed and stared at the ceiling. After nearly two years at the Tendo home, this place felt strange, almost alien.

Now what? I feel like a blind man stumbling forward one step at a time. What Ucchan...what we did...it made things more complicated. Not that it wasn't fun. He glanced back at his fiancée and smiled. She smiled back, but continued speaking on the phone. He completely missed the worried look in her eyes.

Life isn't getting any simpler. I gotta let everyone know I finally decided and I gotta make sure they accept it. Shampoo knows, and she sure seems to be taking it well. But I ain't so sure about how her Great Grandmother would react.

He glanced over at Ukyou. What if they really do mean obstacles is for killing? Shampoo never woulda done anything like that, she had way too many chances to kill Akane and she never took them. But I don't know how the other Amazons would react. Lin-Lin and Ran-Ran were real sticky about their laws. And Shampoo thought Cologne would be willing to kill her to fulfill their laws; what if the old ghoul decides to go after Ucchan?

"Ranchan?"

"Wha..."

"That was Tofu on the phone." She knelt beside the futon, looking concerned. "Sorry I woke you. Are you okay?"

"Ucchan, we gotta talk. I think I made a big mistake. I'm gonna have to leave."

The color drained from her face. "A mistake?" Her lips were trembling and tears began forming in the corners of her eyes. "You...you want to leave me?"

"I think it might be the only way."

"No." Her voice was almost inaudible.

"Hey, I promised I'd always take care of you. That's why I gotta do this."

"What?" She stared openmouthed at him, unable to say more.

"You know about the Amazon Laws," he stated.

"Just...just what you told me," she replied hesitantly.

"Did I mention the rules about obstacles? You're in danger just being around me. Cologne or Lin-Lin or Ran-Ran might be trying to kill you."

She took a deep breath, then released it slowly. "Ranchan?"

"Yeah?"

"Ranchan, you are the biggest, dumbest, stupidest idiot in all of Japan!"

"What?"

"How is doing something dumb like that supposed to protect me? And whoever said I wanted to be protected that way?"

Ranma scratched his head. "Didn't you ask me to always take care of you? Isn't that what I promised?"

She sighed. "What do you think your dad would do if you told him you were going to protect him and weren't gonna let him fight any more?"

"Um, I'm not sure."

She sighed again. "He sure wouldn't like it, would he?"

Ranma shook his head. "I, um, well..."

"So why would I like it?" she interrupted. "I'm not a little kid. Sure I'm not as good as you are, but I am a martial artist."

"Um, this ain't like when you were fighting Hayato," he replied. "According to their rules, the Amazons play for keeps. And Cologne's a lot tougher than..."

"Ranchan?"

"Yeah?"

"How many times could Shampoo have killed Akane if she really wanted to?"

"Well, there's the Memory Erasure Shampoo, and the..."

"And if Cologne wanted someone dead, don't you think they'd be dead already?" Ukyou interrupted.

Ranma frowned. "It ain't the Amazons you're worried about, is it?" He could tell that much, though he wasn't sure exactly what she was driving at.

She shook her head, tears visible in her eyes. "Of course not, you dummy," she whispered. "I've been alone for so, so long and I...I've wanted, I've needed you that whole time. I...with what your mom said, I know I can't have you all to myself, but...but if I can't have you at all, I...I wouldn't...I guess I could go on, as much as anybody could with their heart torn out."

"Ucchan," he whispered.

"And...and then you think you're protecting me by...by going off and leaving me all alone again."

"So you're more worried about Mamonos than the Amazons?"

She gave a deep sigh. "I...I need your help against those things, against the Mamonos, but I need you more than I need your help, Ranchan. I, um, I think I know what you're trying to do, why you're trying to protect me, and...and that means a lot to me, even if you can't say why you're doing it."

"And yeah I'm a lot more worried about these stupid Mamonos than the dumb Amazon laws," she continued, "but that's not the point, either. If...if I told you to leave so you'd be safe from those monsters, so they could never do to you what they did to Nabiki or Shampoo, so they never did like they, like..."

She began sobbing, grabbed him, and pulled him close. After a while, a long while, he spoke her name.

"S...sorry, Ranchan, it's just...when you...the blood, all the blood..." She paused, taking a deep breath. "Ranchan, I nearly lost you because I wasn't..."

"It ain't your fault, Ucchan, it was mine."

She smiled faintly, held him closer, and gently whispered, "Ranchan, you are the biggest, dumbest, stupidest idiot in all of Japan."

"Huh?"

She released the embrace, placed her hands on his shoulders, and looked straight into his eyes. "I want you to be safe, you big dummy. If I told you to leave, to go somewhere safe so those things couldn't hurt you, would you do it?"

"Of course not. And it ain't just because we're, um, we're not just friends, um, not that I'm sure how to refer to us."

She smiled. "How about fiancées?"

"I got three of them. No, I got more than three."

"Yeah," she sighed. "Anyway, do you think I'd leave if you were in danger, even if you told me to?"

"It ain't the same thing, Ucchan. I ain't in danger from the Amazons, you are, so long as you're around me."

"Ranchan, don't you remember fighting Lin-Lin and Ran-Ran? If I'm in any danger from the Amazons, I was already in danger from them, and you taking off outta some stupid idea of protecting me isn't going to help."

He opened his mouth, but no words came out for a while. "Sorry," he sighed, bowing his head.

"You don't have to apologize," she replied, "but we've gotta work together on this, we gotta work together if we're gonna work." She wiped the remains of tears away with the back of her hand and smiled faintly. "I'm not sure if I made much sense there, Ranchan, but what I'm trying to say is we need to make decisions that are both our decisions."

"Um, what if we don't agree on something? Then whatta we do?"

"I don't know. I don't even remember what my Mom looked like, so I never saw her and my Dad work anything like that out."

"And the only time I know about my folks working out a disagreement was that stupid seppuku contract," he replied. "I didn't know this would be so hard. In all the stories, once people get together they somehow just magically live happily ever after, there's never anything that they gotta work out. I don't get it; do they want people to fail? Getting together ain't the end of the story, it's the beginning."

They both fell silent, though eventually Ukyou spoke. "So neither of us really know what we're doing. And there isn't really anyone we can ask for advice, either."

He opened his mouth, shut it, then sighed. "Maybe that's a good thing, Ucchan. I spent most of my life doing what other people told me, doing what they thought was right, what they thought was best." He paused, clearly searching for words. "And a kid has gotta live like that, has to depend on others who know more than they do. But if we're ever gonna be more than kids, if we're ever gonna have a chance of making us work, we can't go letting others make our decisions for us."

"So we just ignore what everyone else says, Ranchan?"

"No, we just gotta treat it like martial arts."

"What?" Her expression looked almost comical.

"Part of martial arts is watching people so you can learn from 'em. Sometimes they're doing something wrong, and you don't want to make the same mistake. Sometimes they got something new, some technique you didn't know before."

"Or sometimes they've got new ways to use an old technique?" she asked.

"Exactly. But you gotta decide what's best for you, 'cause not everything works for everybody. The Breaking Point is a good technique for Ryouga, but it just ain't right for me. That's the whole point of Anything Goes, take the parts that work for you, and leave the rest."

"Sort of like picking okonomiyaki toppings?"

"Yeah, I suppose." It was Ranma's turn to look puzzled.

"I think I see what you're saying, Ranchan. When I was just learning to cook, I had to follow a recipe carefully. Now I can throw things together without measuring; I just know how much I'll need. If I'm out of something, I can substitute for it and sometimes even invent something new." She furrowed an eyebrow. "But we haven't had anyone show us the basic techniques for relationships; no one taught us any basic recipes for life."

"Are you saying we don't even know how to be friends, Ucchan?"

"What?"

"Being friends, that's the basic techniques. Learning to trust each other, to enjoy being around each other, to do things together. Working together to take down problems neither of us could beat on our own, like when we took down the Gambler King as kids. And maybe we haven't had any real examples for the advanced stuff, but we've got some good examples of what not to do."

"We're still going to have to improvise a lot, Ranchan."

"Hey, that's the way Anything Goes works." He smiled confidently. "There's always the chance of running across something you've never had to deal with before, like when Ryouga came up with the Shishi Hokoudan. Not everything I tried worked, but I didn't quit. We've both made mistakes on getting closer to each other, we're probably still gonna make mistakes. But I ain't gonna quit and I'm sure you ain't gonna, either. Maybe we're gonna have to work harder, but..."

"But we'll be able to help each other." She smiled hesitantly, and gave him another kiss.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

He woke, sensing her absence, and stared at the ceiling. Days had turned to weeks and the strangeness of the place was beginning to fade, but his subconscious nagged that something was still wrong. He looked back at the empty spot next to him and frowned. Ranma sighed and turned to the clock. It was hours until dawn.

He found her downstairs, hunched in front of the computer, her face illuminated by the feeble glow of the screen. She sighed, yawned, and stretched her arms upward and back; a normal gesture made much more interesting by the half-open yukata she wore. The Shimi-Seki pendant glittered between her breasts and his eyes tracked down across bare skin to the panties that were her only other garment.

Then her arms came down and she slumped forward. Rising desire was replaced by concern and Ranma finally spoke.

"Hey, Ucchan, are you okay? It's kinda cold to be running around dressed like that."

A smile flickered across her face, then faded; though it didn't disappear.

"What's wrong, Ucchan?"

"This stupid computer. It keeps locking up for no reason."

He stared blankly at the screen. Standard Systems Software and its president, Biff Standard, had nothing to do with martial arts. "Maybe it's a Mamono, trying to get at the stuff your Grandma sent?"

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

Ranma chuckled nervously. He'd been joking.

"I tried exorcising the thing three times," his fiancée continued, "but nothing happened. I even tried a healing spell, but that didn't work, either."

"Um, if there was a Mamono shouldn't you be able to sense it with your Shimi-whatsis pendant. Ucchan, why are you banging your head on the keyboard?"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Maybe this is why Ranma spent so much time up here.

Now Ryouga lay on the roof of the Tendo house, staring at the stars, trying to sort his problems out. He'd been alone most of his life thanks to his curse of misdirection, and he hadn't thought he would ever miss it.

How long has Akane been carting me around as P-chan, afraid to let me out of her sight? Ryouga didn't realize he held a loose roof tile in his hand, slowly grinding it to powder. She's afraid she'll lose me, like she lost...

Even in his thoughts, he shied away from his rival's name, the name Akane still sometimes called in her dreams.

It's been weeks, no, months since Ryugenzawa. Why can't she forget him? All he does is bring her pain. He doesn't know how to make her happy. Ryouga felt the embers of his old hatred stir, but he'd come to understand Ranma a little better.

How do I choose? How do I get out of this without hurting someone I care about? Akane needs me, our kid needs me, but she's so possessive, afraid to even let me near other girls. Unlike Ranma, this meant he was doused with cold water instead of hammered. I'm trapped. She's trapped. How long before we turn on each other like she and Ranma did?

Akari needs me, too. He still carried her picture in his wallet, next to Akane's. She's alone in the world, except for her grandfather, and he's...he's dying. She accepts both my curses, and she's a lot more forgiving, she'd probably even forgive me for what Akane and I did back at Ryugenzawa and I do not deserve that.

Then there's Ran-Ran. She's alone, too, and her sister is in the hospital because I wasn't fast enough to save them both. Guilt was an old companion of Ryouga's. And her stupid Amazon laws say she's gotta marry me. How do I let her down? I know what it's like to be alone. How can I hurt her like that?

Ryouga groaned, his escaping breath a fading hint of white in the cold dark winter night. He inhaled slowly, feeling the cold air seep into his lungs.

"Even if I were twins..."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Sorry, Ucchan."

She shook her head, denying his need to apologize.

"Shampoo explained it all to me." He didn't mention how loud that explanation had been or how many times the words 'stupid male' were repeated. "She told me how many hours before dawn you get up. While I sleep, you order stuff for the restaurant, check the quality of the food delivered, prepare the ingredients for when the restaurant opens, make lunch for both of us, pay the bills, study for school, study the stuff your grandma sent about being a Mamono Hunter, and maybe try to practice your martial arts. You get to bed late every night, because you're listening to me ramble on about my day, about my problems."

"Or because we do other stuff." Ukyou smiled. "It's okay."

"No, it isn't, Ucchan. You're getting maybe five hours of sleep a night."

A look in her eyes told the boy that estimate was probably too high.

His voice was softer now. "What's the sign say out front now? Ranchan and Ucchan's. That's a lie and it's gonna be a lie until I'm doing more than just serving tables here. I promised I'd always take care of you, but that's a lie, too, if you don't tell me when things are wrong. I ain't no mind reader. I wanna help, but you gotta let me know you need help."

She was silent, but the tears were flowing again. His stomach twisted and he stopped breathing for a moment.

"S...sorry, Ranchan."

His eyes widened in confusion and she launched herself into his arms.

"You don't have to apologize for nothing, Ucchan, just give me a chance to earn the right to have my name on that sign outside."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Are you alright?"

Ran-Ran shook her head at Dr. Tofu's question. "Sister not getting better."

"She's not getting worse, either." He didn't think Lin-Lin could get worse. Ukyou's grandmother had confirmed that if the Chinese girl did recover it would come naturally, not by magic.

"You should go home and rest," the doctor continued. "The hospital will call if there's any change in your sister's condition." The same empty words he'd spoken too many times already.

"China too too far for Ran-Ran to go home."

"I mean the restaurant."

"Ran-Ran go there, but that not home." For weeks she'd followed a pattern, returning to the restaurant, eating mechanically, sleeping fitfully, showering, changing, and returning to her sister's side. "Neko-Hanten not home and Ran-Ran scared to see Mousse carrying ghost of Shampoo with him everywhere. Something wrong with stupid Duck Boy and he no talk to Ran-Ran anyway."

"But you can't help Lin-Lin by staying here."

"Ran-Ran have to stay with sister. Ran-Ran wasn't there when sister Lin-Lin needed her to fight Mamono. Ran-Ran have to stay. Please let Ran-Ran stay."

Tofu sighed. There must be some way to get the girl to accept this, some other task that would get her mind away from this.

I'll ask Kasumi; she's good at distracting people from their pain.

That reminded him that his mother would be visiting in a few weeks, to give him the ring his father had given to her and his grandfather once gave to his grandmother. The ring he intended to give to Kasumi.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

They lay together on the futon, her head pillowed on his shoulder.

"Ranchan, do you remember the phone call I got right after you moved in?"

"Um, no. I remember what we just got done doing," he smirked, "but there's no way I remember something that happened that far back.

"It has been a while," she agreed. "The phone call, it was Dr. Tofu."

"So what did he want, Ucchan? Did I forget something over at his place?"

"No, he asked about...about Lin-Lin."

Ranma turned slightly, looking into her eyes from mere inches away. His puzzlement was obvious. "Lin-Lin?"

"She still hasn't gotten better and he hoped my magic could help. I called Grandma, but it was too late."

"What?"

"Tokima was the first Mamono to enter this world. The original Mamono Hunter, Haruka Mano, sealed it; but the creature wasn't destroyed. Every few decades the monster gathered enough power to attack the current Mamono Hunter and try to break the seal."

"So you're saying this Tokima is about to break free and come after you, Ucchan? It's gonna have to get through me first."

She smiled, and gave him a brief kiss. "My cousin Yohko took Tokima down for good a little before Grandma sent me my Yoma ring. Actually, Yohko had a lot of help. Haruka, the first Mamono Hunter, used the power of the ring to bring all Mamono Hunters from herself to my cousin Yohko to the same point in time. Working together, they finally destroyed Tokima."

Ranma stared blankly, "So just what's all that got to do with healing Shampoo? And how come you didn't end up in that fight?"

"I think it's because I've never worn the original Yoma ring. Grandma said that if her sister Chiaki could make a new one for her granddaughter Ayako, then she could make one for me."

"Okay. So why is something too late, Ucchan?"

"That ring, the original Yoma ring, contained a little of Tokima's power, the power of time. Haruka used that power to bring everyone through time to fight the Mamono."

"So she beat it with its own power? Kind of like a magical Hiryu Shouten Ha?"

"Not exactly."

"Hey, wouldn't that leave all your ancestors stranded over at your cousin Yohko's? That's way worse than when Pops and the Tendos set up camp here."

"Don't remind me," she sighed. "I think there was enough power left to send them back to their own times, but the important thing is the power is gone now."

"So? I'm not sure how it woulda helped Lin-Lin anyway, Ucchan."

"That wasn't the only way Haruka used the power of time." She fell silent and closed her eyes.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Yohko screwed up in that fight. She died." Ukyou took a deep breath and released it slowly. "So Haruka used that Yoma ring, the original. She reversed the flow of time on Yohko's body. She brought her back."

There were tears in the corners of her eyes. He reached forward, gently brushing them away, and spoke her name. She opened her eyes and he spoke again.

"That's a good thing, Ucchan. Why are you so upset?"

"Because now the power is gone, there's no takebacks, no do-overs, no chance to fix the mistakes I made. I can't make it so Lin-Lin can move or Shampoo can walk or Nabiki can breathe."

"Ucchan, those weren't even your mistakes and that's the way life normally works. We all make mistakes and a lotta times we don't get any chance to fix 'em. I was lucky enough to find out about the mistake I made when I was six and while I can't take away the bad stuff that happened to you since then, I can at least try to make sure nothing else happens."

"And that's all we can do. Try," he continued. "So there ain't no magic solutions that solve all our problems. I can't tell you how many people thought they'd found something like that. Gosunkugi thought he had all his problems solved when he used that stupid exploding power armor. Pops and Mr. Tendo thought they'd fixed things when they used those dumb Magic Leaves on me and Akane. Ryouga thought the Invincibility Tattoo was gonna make his life better. Akane might not of looked for the Super Soba Noodles or the Battle Dougi, but she sure was willing to use 'em."

"And none of 'em worked, 'cause none of 'em really solved anything. So why worry about something that ain't your fault? That solution won't work, but how often does the easy answer work? Maybe it's too late to solve the problem that way, but that doesn't mean it's too late for any solution. And I know you're no quitter. Any girl stubborn enough..."

"Stubborn?" But she smiled.

"Any girl stubborn enough to chase me for ten years."

"Twelve. Ten on the road, one here in Nerima, and one back when we were kids even if you were too dumb to notice then."

"Even when we were kids? Hey, what do you mean I was dumb?"

"I make my mind up, I don't change it, Ranchan. Of course, now that means I'm stuck with you."

"Hey."

She stuck her tongue out at him and giggled, just like when they were kids, but something in her eyes, behind the teasing, reminded him that they were no longer children and that they could share pleasures children never dreamed of.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Weeks passed before Kasumi remembered to look at Nabiki's notebooks again. During that time, she was absent-minded and prone to staring off into space even when she was home, and she was gone a lot. She mixed up ingredients several times, which made for some interesting meals. She even burned dinner once, but the silly smile never left her face, and she kept humming cheery little tunes to herself.

Akane suspected her sister had gone mad.

But eventually Kasumi remembered the notebooks and one of the secrets she'd discovered there, and that broke her reverie about marrying Tofu for a little while.

The books were in Kasumi's room now; nothing remained in the empty room that had been her sister's. She reached into the closet, grabbing one of Nabiki's photo albums by mistake.

Something slipped from between the pages and fluttered to the floor. What's this? She stooped and picked the booklet up. Jusenkyou mail order catalog? Where did Nabiki get it?

Kasumi sat on the bed and flipped the booklet open, skipping past the quick fixes of waterproof soap and temporary cures, looking for the goal of Ranma, Genma, Mousse, and Ryouga - Nannichuan, the Spring of Drowned Man. It was there, though the price for a barrel was rather extreme. Water from the Nyannichuan, the Spring of Drowned Girl, was also prohibitively expensive.

I suppose they're the ones people want the most, so they charge more.

Kasumi flipped to the discount section of the catalog.

"Hudienuchaun, Spring of Drowned Butterfly - no. Shiaojinichuan, Spring of Drowned Chicken - no. Manyuchuan, Spring of Drowned Eel - definitely no. Chinwaniichuan, Spring of Drowned Frog - no. Heituenniichuan, Spring of Drowned Piglet - we've had more than enough problems with that already. Shenichuan, Spring of Drowned Snake - no. Shuan...never mind, this is a waste of time."

She dropped the catalog, retrieved the appropriate notebook, and set off for Ukyou's restaurant.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

This time I'll win.

Mousse had been confident he could beat Kodachi, too confident; and now he'd lost more times than he cared to remember. The Japanese girl was better than he expected, she was fighting on home ground, and she'd hidden traps all across the estate. Her balance and agility were superb, and she faded away from his strikes like smoke in the wind.

She could also summon her weapons from nowhere, which puzzled him. He was fairly sure Kodachi wasn't using magic like he was, so he had no idea how she hid them under the form-fitting leotard she wore.

The boy blushed, recalling just how snug Kodachi's battle uniform was and how distracting that could be in combat.

She's tricky, too. I never know what she's going to try next.

That was one of the reasons he looked forward to his battles with her. They were much more interesting than the other fights he had. Kodachi was close enough in skill that he was always sure he would defeat her the next time, but she always surprised him with some new trick. He was learning, too, something he'd never managed against foes like Ranma who outclassed him.

He didn't know his subconscious was betraying him, causing him to make tiny hesitations, tiny mistakes, which cost him the battles. He'd never defeated a woman in combat and part of him believed he couldn't. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy. He also knew the cost of winning. It would restore Shampoo, but he would be forever beyond joy or pain. His soul flinched away from that and cost him more than one battle.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The blade was an arc of flame, reflecting the setting sun. After disappearing for weeks, Tatewaki Kuno had returned and the swordsman was not in the best of moods. Sasuke had taken Kodachi's orders very literally and the Kuno boy had only been free for a few hours.

Tatewaki was supposed to be an empty-headed, poetry-spouting joke, but there was nothing humorous about Kuno's attacks now. Ranma remembered their first fight, how the taller boy had sliced a tree in half, shattered statues, and crushed concrete with just a wooden practice sword. But this blade was steel and Ranma remembered another thing about that first fight. Kuno had touched him with the air pressure of that wooden blade and he hadn't felt the pain till later.

Something had happened and Kuno was dangerous again. Ranma fell back, dodging until he could locate an opening. "Hey Kuno, aren't you supposed to attack me at school, not when I'm walking home with Ucchan?"

The taller boy pressed forward. A mailbox became metal confetti, then a street sign, and finally a vending machine fell victim to the swirling blade.

At least he didn't hit the...

And the fire hydrant was decapitated. Ranma sighed. Kuno snarled, seeing his opponent's form become smaller, rounder, and still desirable in spite of all that he knew.

Ukyou used the lull to slide between them, her battle spatula at the ready. Kuno hesitated, a smile replacing his scowl.

"Ah, fair one, of a truth it has been far too long since I have seen your radiant countenance. Truly you must have yearned to see I, your one true love, again."

Ukyou looked mildly ill.

"Ah, but where are my manners? I have brought you a gift. Roses red as fire, to symbolize the passion burning between us."

Ukyou muttered something incoherent and made no move to take the flowers. "Listen you moron, there is nothing between us. I love Ranchan and if you can't figure that out I'll pound it into your thick skull, however many times it takes."

"Why do you say this, my love, when you know it is not true? Of course, I see it. This disgusting creature compels you to these falsehoods with his twisted sorceries. Fear not, dear one, for I, Tatewaki Kuno, the Crimson Avenger of Furinkan High, shall slay this vile beast and free your captive heart."

Ukyou said something not very ladylike and the battle spatula became a blur. There was a clang and Kuno's body arched over the wall into a yard on the other side. They heard a thud and then a groan.

"He's pretty tough, Ucchan. He'll be back in a second."

Then they heard a dog growl, and Kuno's screams as he fled from the angry canine.

"I coulda taken him," Ranma complained.

"I know," she replied, "but I needed to wipe that look of his face. Besides, it was nice to be fighting something human again."

They looked into each other's eyes.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Ucchan?"

"You mean a nice warm shower for just the two of us?"

"Hey, that's a good idea."

Ukyou rolled her eyes and sighed. "What were you thinking, then?"

"Well, it's been kinda peaceful lately. I like not being yelled at all the time, but I'm worried about getting outta practice. I almost miss Lost Boy and the way he was always attacking me. And I know you're good, Ucchan, but if these Mamonos show up again, we're gonna need to work together, so we can take them down as fast as possible."

"So no one else gets hurt," she finished for him.

"Right. Especially you, Ucchan. Some day one of these monsters is gonna go straight for you, trying to get you before you can banish it. I know a lot of stuff now, the Hiryu Shouten Ha, the Moko Takabisha, the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken. Tofu even taught me a bit about pressure points while I was staying there. I think you got the potential to do most of that."

"Me?"

"Sure. You can already focus your chi into a weapon, like Kuno does with a sword or Ryouga when he flings his bandanas."

"I don't understand."

"Here, let me show you." Ranma grabbed a throwing spatula from her. "You've got more muscles than most girls and you prove it the way you swing that battle spatula around, but you ain't strong enough to throw this thing and stick it into steel or concrete."

"Of course I can." She took it back and soon the thrown weapon stuck quivering in the remains of the mailbox.

"You can do it, Ucchan, but it ain't strength. The blade is steel, but so is the mailbox. It should just bounce off, but it doesn't because you focus your chi into it. If you can do that, I'm sure you can do more, if you'll let me teach you."

"I'd like that, Ranchan."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Akane squeezed Ryouga's hand tightly. After all the uncertainty, it was a relief to know. Yet it was still frightening.

"You need to tell your family."

"I know, Dr. Tofu, but what if they..."

"Your father will bawl his eyes out, but what else can you expect from him? Kasumi will support you, and I'm sure Ryouga will, too."

The Lost Boy was silent, his thoughts racing. I'm trapped and so is she. We aren't ready. There's still a part of me that wants Akari. Kami-sama, what do I do now?

"Ryouga?" the doctor asked.

"I...I want what's best for her, but how can I promise anything?" Sorrow and bitterness colored his words. "She needs someone who can be there for her. That's not me, not with my sense of direction. She needs someone strong to protect her. That's not me, either."

"No, Ryouga, you are strong," Akane insisted.

"Strong? Someone strong doesn't turn into a puny little pig. They don't..." He bowed his head and sighed. "They don't do what I did back at Ryugenzawa. They do what's best for her. They wait until she's gotten over...they wait until she's old enough...they don't..."

There were tears in his eyes, but Ryouga laughed. It wasn't a very pleasant laugh.

Akane grabbed his face and turned it towards her. "I'm right here, Ryouga, stop talking about me like I'm not here." Angry features smoothed to a weary smile. "You don't seem to be getting lost as often and even when you're weak physically you've got a lot more courage than he does."

She didn't have to say who. Even now, she was thinking of Ranma, he saw it in her eyes. Ryouga forced a confident smile and prayed she would believe it.

Curse you, Ranma Saotome. I'm in hell and it's...it's all...it's all...it's my fault.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The sign said, 'Ranchan and Ucchan's', which Kasumi found odd. Things were stranger inside. Shampoo sat behind the grill cooking and the young man serving as waiter looked vaguely familiar.

"Would you care to have a seat, Miss Tendo?" The boy's nametag said 'Konatsu.'

Kasumi sat down, taking the proffered menu, and ordered. She savored every bite, enjoying a meal that she didn't have to make. The food was excellent, even though there was something subtle missing, the hint that this meal was prepared by a skilled chef, but not the expert who usually tended the grill. Most people wouldn't have noticed the difference.

"Excuse me, Konatsu."

"Is anything wrong with the food, Miss Tendo?"

"No, it's delicious. Please tell that to Shampoo."

"I know she will appreciate the compliment."

Kasumi took a closer look at the waiter. "Tell me, Konatsu, have you ever been to Jusenkyou?"

He shook his head.

"Do you have a twin sister?"

He shook his head a second time.

Kasumi nodded towards Shampoo. "Have you heard about the Amazon Laws? I'm not sure it's safe for her to be seen like this."

Konatsu hung his head. "I know it's not safe, but she wants to pay Ukyou back for letting her stay here and she's tired of hiding."

"Oh. Where is Ranma?"

"Upstairs with Ukyou. I think they're, um, busy right now." Konatsu blushed which made Kasumi blush and wonder what things might be like when she married Tofu. She forgot her meal and her reason for being there and just stared into space, smiling.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"I'm sorry, but we need to close the restaurant."

Kasumi blinked, realizing she'd been daydreaming again, and turned to face Ukyou. "No, I'm the one who needs to apologize. It was quite rude of me to forget the time."

Ukyou smiled in reply. She'd turned to clear the next table when Kasumi called her name.

"Yes?"

"I need to talk to Ranma. Would it be alright if I stayed for a bit after you close?"

The other girl looked hesitant. News from the Tendo home was usually not good news for her.

Kasumi smiled. ""I'll help clean up to make up for any inconvenience."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Mousse hung upside down, though he was in no danger of falling. His own chains and Kodachi's ribbons secured him tightly to the tree. He struggled, but he had little hope of freeing himself.

Then the gymnast danced forward and secured the chains to each other with a series of padlocks, erasing that hope.

"That's not fair!"

"So who claimed life was fair?" Kodachi replied. The words were insolent, almost mocking, but there was a sadness in her eyes. Mousse blinked, wondering if that was a trick of the moonlight or his own feeble eyesight or the fact he was hanging upside down. Or was it real?

"Let me go." His words were far from original.

"No."

He opened his mouth to protest, but Kodachi spoke first.

"I always wanted a handsome man to spend the night." Her voice was deep, seductive, and Mousse felt his glasses begin to fog up. The girl reached up and stroked his cheek. Their gazes locked for a moment, then Kodachi snatched her hand back like it was on fire. She stared in wonderment as if the limb had developed a life of its own, then let it drop to her side.

"Too bad that's the only way I'll get a handsome man to stay the night." Her voice was almost a whisper, but it didn't mask her pain. "You're doing this for Shampoo. I don't know why, but I know it's true."

Mousse nodded.

"Why are we fools, all of us fools, chasing people we know we'll never catch?" Tears brimmed in her eyes, though she wasn't quite crying.

"Because Ukyou finally caught Ranma." Mousse gave an exasperated sigh. "If she could succeed, then we..."

Kodachi raised her hand to his lips, silencing the boy.

"We've been acting because of desire or the delusion that being with the one we say we love would solve all our problems. Not that she doesn't find him attractive or think that her life would be better if he was a part of it. Of course she feels that. But what have we done to show them we loved them?"

Mousse opened his mouth, but she still didn't let him speak.

"We said we loved them, but all we ever gave them was words. Did you ever try to help Shampoo when she needed it? Did you ever listen to her problems and want to make them all better, because it would make her happy? Do you even know what her problems are?"

The girl turned away and her next words were almost a whisper. "I never knew about his curse. Ranma never trusted me enough to tell me. And I did so many things to the girl I didn't know was him."

Kodachi turned back, but it seemed like she couldn't see Mousse anymore, like she didn't know or care if he was there. It was unpleasantly like the way Shampoo treated him. He didn't know what to say, but the Kuno girl wasn't done talking to herself.

"But...but he trusted her. He never told me about the time Happosai made him weak. I bought the information from Nabiki after it was all over. But he took Ukyou with him and went off into the mountains to train. If he hadn't found a cure, I don't think they would have come back."

"And when Mr. Tendo kicked him out, he went straight to her restaurant. He couldn't solve that problem with martial arts, so he went to the one person he trusted to help him, even though I'm sure he never admitted he needed help. He knew she'd take him in. He knew she'd always be there for him when he needed it."

"He never trusted me like that and I gave him no reason to."

Then she was gone into the night, leaving Mousse to recall the one opponent Shampoo had truly needed help against, the Ghost Cat who'd tried to claim her as its bride. The first time, she'd gone to Ranma and he didn't find out she needed help until she didn't need it anymore. The second time, when she'd been magically bound to the shrine, Mousse had been there, but she'd ignored him and asked Ranma for help. When he showed up anyway, his jealousy and anger had nearly left her trapped as a cat, forever wedded to the ghostly feline.

And the kiss that cured her proved who she really loved.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Are you okay, Ranchan?"

He stared out the window at the starlit sky and didn't reply at first. "I dunno, Ucchan. This takes some getting used to."

She didn't know what to say, so she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, clasping them across his chest. They stood that way for quite a while before he spoke again.

"I trust Kasumi, but the information comes from Nabiki and I never trusted her."

He felt his fiancée's head rest against his back and she finally spoke. "Why would she have lied about something like this? She couldn't gain anything from a lie, could she? And I know I don't think much of your Dad, but the evidence seems pretty convincing. The back of the photograph of Kurumi and Natsume; the one where their father promised them they could be members of the Anything Goes School if they proved themselves to be true martial artists. He may have signed it as Soun Tendo, but he also marked it with his thumbprint."

"A thumbprint that matches the one on the seppuku contract he made with Mom. But that would mean Happosai lied to cover for Pops. And the old pervert had a picture of himself with the girls."

"Who do you think took the picture?" she replied. "And the picture with the promise, where it showed the girls and their father's back, who took that picture? Besides, you can't tell me that was Happosai's back, that man was broadly built and he towered over the girls."

"I dunno, Ucchan, but if it's true...if it's true then Pops has got a lot to answer for. It means he put his own kids through hell to try to make them better martial artists. It means he lied to my mom. It means he abandoned a woman that loved him. It means he let other people take the blame for his failures. It means he left a couple little girls barely old enough to attend school to fend for themselves."

Her arms tightened around him and he heard the sharp intake of her breath. "I guess Pops already did most of that to you, didn't he?"

"And he did the rest to you and your Mom," she replied.

"You're right," he sighed. "So I guess it's up to me to do what's right for my sisters. Even if these notes of Nabiki's are right, it's gonna take some time to find them. I may be gone for a while."

"Well, I'm coming with you, Ranchan."

"What about the restaurant?"

"Shampoo and Konatsu can run it till we get back."

He hesitated, then nodded.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It felt good to be on the road again, to see new sights every day, to experience new things. Nerima lay days behind and Ranma wasn't sure he wanted to go back to the same walls, the same streets, and the same endless cycle of problems.

Maybe it's because I knew there were people that did care about me, maybe that's why I stayed.

They'd taken the train to Kansai, the place he'd first met her. It held a lot of memories for them both, but the area contained more than memories. They watched the sun set over the mountains, the light reflected in Lake Biwa, the largest lake in Japan. They huddled together in the cold of the mountain night, drawing warmth from each other as they watched the stars in the clear crystal sky, more stars than you could ever see through the lights and haze of Tokyo.

I never got a chance to enjoy that traveling with Pops.

But the weather was still too cold to want to spend it camping outside, one night had proved that; so they took full advantage of the area's famous hot springs.

"What's wrong, Ranchan?

They sat together in the spring, her head on his shoulder, watching the snow gently drift down, melting instantly when it struck the steaming water.

"This is like the place my parents had their honeymoon, Ucchan. Pops even carved their names on one of the trees, next to the words 'eternal love'."

"Both names under the carving of an umbrella, Ranchan? That's pretty romantic for your Dad."

"He carved the words, he probably even meant 'em, Ucchan, but I don't think they love each other, not anymore."

"That's why you're feeling down?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Ucchan, promise me if I ever end up like Pops..."

"You won't."

"I don't want you to go through what he did to my Mom. I don't want my kids going through anything like Jusenkyou or the Cat Fist. Promise me that if I ever do end up like Pops, you'll get yourself and the kids out."

"You aren't gonna end up like your Dad, so I'm not gonna promise that." Neither spoke for quite a while, but both teens were smiling.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

They stood along the rugged northern coastline, watching the gray waves roiling below. The scene was stark and cold, yet it held a feral, fascinating beauty which refused to be tamed by anything human.

Ranma glanced at Ukyou out of the corner of his eye. Her dark hair fluttered in the wind, its flowing movements reminding him of the sea below. She was smiling in spite of the memories this place held for her, memories of a lonely abandoned girl struggling against the sea, a hopeless struggle that she never gave up on.

Just like she never gave up on me, in spite of everything.

"Sorry, Ucchan."

"What for?"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Master." Genma instinctively dropped into the Crouch of the Wild Tiger. While he knew several other stances, this was the best for groveling at someone else's feet. The portly martial artist did just that for several minutes.

"Oh shut up," Happosai spat.

Genma froze in place, the only movement a bead of sweat inching its way down his forehead. There was something different about the Master, more power there than Genma had ever sensed, but something was wrong with that power. The old man's eyes seemed to burn straight through his student, exposing every lie, every deception.

"Where were you when I needed help? Where were my students when I needed them?"

Genma cringed. If Happosai admitted he had needed help, it must have been serious and the old lecher would want a piece of his hide for it.

"M...Master, we didn't know." If he could keep the little troll distracted by talking, he might have a chance to use the Saotome Ultimate Technique and flee.

"So what are you doing in China, Genma?"

Uh-oh.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I'm doomed.

He'd been too grateful that the old master had offered aid instead of vengeance to be properly suspicious. His intention had been to sneak in quickly and quietly, find his son, and escape before the Amazons knew they were there. That plan lasted just long enough for Happosai to spy the first of the women.

He wasn't even a decent distraction.

The next time he saw Happosai, the old lecher had bounced off his head and escaped just before the pursuing mob of angry young Amazons flattened Genma. When he regained consciousness, he was securely bound. He tried feigning unconsciousness, but Cologne ended that by jabbing her staff into his ribs. Genma wheezed and tried to sit up, but the ropes didn't give him enough flexibility to manage it.

"Why was Happosai so much stronger?" Cologne asked sternly. "He stole every bra and panty in the whole village, even the ones that were being worn at the time."

Genma's eyes widened, he stared at Cologne, and turned very pale. "Every bra and panty?"

"Of course, are you deaf as well as stupid?

Sweat beaded on his forehead. "Ev...even yours?"

The Amazon elder bust into gales of laughter, and Genma released the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Then Cologne's eyes met his and she smiled a large and not very pleasant smile. "How could he possibly have stolen mine, when I never wear any?"

Genma rolled onto his back, closed his eyes and groaned as he felt the contents of his stomach beginning to rise in revolt.

Cologne laughed again, then jabbed him the ribs with her staff. "Enough of amusing myself at your expense. Why was Happosai so much stronger than before?"

"I don't know. There's something wrong with him." Genma told the truth, but he doubted anyone would believe him. Cologne's staff spun towards his face and he barely rolled out of the way.

"Really, it's true!" His tone was more urgent now.

"I know." She hit him anyway.

"Then what did you do that for?" he growled.

"You led Happosai here." She faked another blow to his head, then spun the staff and caught him in the ribs.

"I had no choice," he wheezed. "And he could have found the village without me."

"I know." She struck him several more times, her staff almost blurring with the speed. Genma lay still, moaning. "That is why your punishment is so light." She rapped his head again. "Most of the tribe wanted to leave you incapable of fathering children."

"Yeep!"

"Exactly. The fact that your son turned out as well as he did persuaded them. You are far more fortunate than you deserve." She landed a final blow in Genma's much abused ribs and sat down, looking directly into the prone martial artist's eyes.

"That should satisfy them, but I want to know why you really came here. Were you looking for the springs, to find the cure for your curse?"

Genma blinked in surprise. He hadn't thought of that.

"I didn't think so," the Amazon elder nodded. "Something about the place makes people forget about using it. Many can't find it when they do think to search for it."

"I just want my son back."

"I haven't got him."

"You expect me to believe that?" He fell silent for a moment. "But where can the stupid boy be, then? I was sure that since he was gone, and you, and Shampoo..."

"What?" Cologne's eyes narrowed and Genma feared for his life again. Hesitantly, he repeated his words and she smiled, which was far from the most pleasant of sights. She had him repeat it again to the other Amazons, how both Ranma and Shampoo were missing.

One of the others said something short and sharp in Mandarin, a language he didn't understand. Cologne replied in the same language, her tone firm and insistent, and the strange smile never left her face. Another woman said something else and soon most of the Amazons were speaking loudly and rapidly, often at the same time.

Genma groaned and rolled onto his back, ignoring his captors. So where is the stupid boy, then? And how am I going to find him once I escape? I've just wasted weeks getting here and it will take weeks to get back to Nerima.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Nooo!" The anguished words echoed off the walls of Tatewaki Kuno's private shrine to his true loves. Akane Tendo and Ukyou Kuonji smiled from half-a-hundred photographs. Kuno deluded himself that the smiles were for him.

"It can not be. First the foul sorcerer forces himself on the first of my true loves, the pure and tidy Akane Tendo, and now he has stolen away the beauteous Ukyou Kuonji in the dead of night for who knows what foul purpose and yet I had not even heard of it until they have been gone yet these many days."

He didn't attend the same class as Ranma and Ukyou, but he'd noted her disappearance from school immediately. It had taken a lot longer to find they weren't in Nerima, but Nabiki, his best information source, was gone forcing him to depend on other lesser talents.

"Fear not, Ukyou Kuonji. I, Tatewaki Kuno, the Crimson Avenger of Furinkan High, shall find you, though the trail be colder than the chill of the winter's frost, colder than the depths of hell itself. Soon I shall smite this wild beast and rescue you from his foul embrace, this I swear upon my honor as a samurai." As if on cue thunder rumbled ominously in the background.

"Sasuke!"

The ninja materialized and knelt.

"Sasuke, we shall be leaving on what may well prove to be a long and most perilous quest. We shall seek for this vile sorcerer to the very ends of the earth and beyond if need be, to rescue a fair and gentle maiden after which she will no doubt be overcome with gratitude and thank me in a most passionate manner."

The little ninja sighed so softly the boy could not hear, but he was wise enough not to complain aloud.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The couple sat on the edge of the cliff watching the sea birds and the sun sinking over the waves.

"This is taking longer than I thought. We coulda made it to Jusenkyou by now."

"Just where is that, anyway, Ranchan?"

"The Bayankala Mountains are about three weeks walk into China. Or two if you're being chased by someone you think is trying to kill you. That's why I always looked for cures close to home. I knew I'd be gone for a month-and-a-half or more even if everything worked out. You'd think with all the weird magic floating around Nerima, there'd be something to cure curses that still worked."

"But there are no simple solutions." He gave a deep sigh. "Sorry, finding my sisters is taking a lot longer than I thought."

"It's nothing, Ranchan."

"Sure, it's nothing compared to the ten years you spent looking for me, but it's still a long time for you to be away from your restaurant."

Ukyou sighed as well. "Do you remember the Yamogi Valley?"

"Yeah, it's where I learned the Hiryu Shouten Ha."

"And how much time did you and I and your Dad and the others spend there? How long did it take us getting there and back? It's not the first time I've been away from my restaurant, and that's okay because I own it; it doesn't own me."

"But we don't know how long this search is going to be," he replied. "All we got is rumors that they might be in Kansai."

"So maybe we're doing this the wrong way, Ranchan. We're trying to find your sisters. Why not do something that makes them want to find us?"

"Like what?"

"Tell me what you know about them, then maybe I can come up with a plan."

"I'm not sure. I don't really know them." But he tried to recall what little he knew.

"So they're both good martial artists," Ukyou summarized. "They can focus their chi through their weapons."

He nodded. "Natsume, the older one, can project whirlwinds using that weird looking staff she carries. That puts her ahead of you and Kurumi who only focus your chi into the weapon, but behind me and Ryouga who can actually throw energy around without needing no weapons."

"So how do I get so I can do that, Ranchan?"

"I dunno, me and Ryouga's stuff is based on strong feelings."

"Sorta like the Mamonos?" He felt her tense.

"Kinda, only we project energy based on our feelings, and those things absorb it. Sorta. It's gotta be why Aijou sucked up Ryouga's attacks and neither it nor Shinrou liked my chi blast."

"How does it work, then?"

"I ain't so good at explaining, but the Moko Takabisha is based on confidence."

"Yeah, but I don't have an ego the size of Mount Fuji like you do, Ranchan."

"Hey!"

She stuck her tongue out at him and giggled.

"Okay," he sighed, "skip that. The Shishi Hokoudan is based..." He stopped, seeing fear in her eyes. "Right, sorry, skip that one, too." He took a breath and looked down at the sea, considering the emotions the Mamonos had fed on.

Sorrow and fear have been a part of Ucchan's life, a big part, but I don't want her using them. I don't think she really hates anybody, not even Pops. I guess that leaves...

"Maybe you could do one based on anger. You sure had a lot of that when you first fought me."

"So did you, Ranchan." Her heavy battle spatula had been twisted like putty in her fiancée's hands. "I haven't seen you that angry since."

"I'd been attacked by people before," he replied, "but I always knew why, even if it wasn't my fault, I knew why I got attacked - Ryouga, Kuno, Akane, Mousse - they all like to bellow their reasons at the top of their lungs. A lotta times they were dumb reasons, but at least I knew why."

"But you didn't when I attacked."

"Yeah. You came outta nowhere after ten years and attacked me and I had no idea why. Of course I was mad, until I found out you not only had a reason, it was a real good reason."

"I'm sorry, Ranchan."

"You don't have to be. I've been attacked a lot for stuff that wasn't really my fault and this stuff kinda was. But you forgave me anyway."

They both stared down at the sea for a while.

"Your sisters are used to working as a team." Ukyou continued her summary. "And Kurumi's got an appetite almost as big as yours."

"Hey!"

"Gotcha, Ranchan." She was smiling again. "I wish we knew more about them, but that's enough for now." She told him the plan and it was about martial arts and food, so of course he liked it.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Azusa bounced into the restaurant and Shampoo gritted her teeth. Not only was the lunch rush about to start, but the shorter girl was annoyingly perky, with a cotton candy sticky sweetness that left the Amazon with a sour feeling in her stomach. Even worse, Azusa was a competent martial artist, in spite of behavior that every fiber of Shampoo's being screamed was not the way any warrior should act.

"Go away, Pipsqueak Girl. Shampoo no have anything for you to steal." The broken Japanese was another defense against the pint-sized idiot. Most people didn't waste time talking with someone who didn't speak their language very well.

Unfortunately, Azusa wasn't that easily deterred. "Where is Pierre?"

"Good evening," Konatsu replied as he entered from the storage area behind the main room of the restaurant. The ninja's face was a cheery smile, but he knew there was something about the little skater, something he'd forgotten.

"Pierre," the girl squealed and glommed hold of him. Shampoo glowered at them and he attempted to defuse the situation.

"So you decided to try a different hairstyle, Azusa." It was now a pageboy cut, much shorter than it used to be and looking more like Nabiki's old style than anything else. He didn't expect the girl to start sobbing as she recounted the horror of the bowl cut Principal Kuno had inflicted on her. Even Shampoo looked sympathetic.

"...and...and now it's grown out enough that I could go out again, even if I'm not cute anymore."

"But you are cute," Konatsu reassured. "Trust me, I'm the expert on this."

"Goodie, Pierre still thinks I'm cute!" The girl almost danced around the room, squealing with glee, while Shampoo stared daggers at both her and Konatsu.

"So why are you here, Azusa?" If he could figure that out, he might be able to get her to leave before a fight started.

"Don't be silly, Pierre, you promised to take me on a date if I defeated that icky Mamono."

Uh-oh. He gave a quick glance towards Shampoo. "Um, Lady Ukyou won't like it if you damage the restaurant."

The Chinese girl ignored him and glowered at Azusa, who continued dancing around the restaurant, so happy Pierre was going on a date with her that she didn't see doom staring at her.

"Please, Shampoo."

Her eyes turned to him and the anger was still there and hints of tears in the corners of her eyes. He was a good enough observer to know he'd put those tears there and it hurt him knowing he had hurt her. He opened his mouth to speak when the front door slid open, slamming against the end of the track, and another unwanted guest stalked in.

Tatewaki Kuno stood framed in the doorway of the renamed okonomiyaki restaurant. Beside him, a huge mound of luggage almost concealed the family ninja and chief beast of burden, Sasuke. Kuno turned and posed dramatically before speaking.

"Pray tell me, fair one, can you direct me to the current location where the fair mistress of this fine establishment might be residing? Her name, as no doubt you know full well, is Ukyou Kuonji and I fear for her safety in the hands of that wild beast, Ranma Saotome."

Konatsu blinked twice before he realized Kuno had mistaken him for a girl. Old training surfaced as the ninja blushed daintily and brought a slender hand to his mouth. Konatsu giggled shyly behind his hand. "Oh please, sir, you flatter me."

"I am Tatewaki Kuno, the Crimson Avenger of Furinkan High, and I would not engage in base flattery, for truly you are a fair maiden, though perhaps not quite so beauteous as Ukyou Kuonji herself. However, I am a gracious man and shall allow you to date with me as well. Sadly, at the moment I have no gift fit for a maiden such as yourself, save to allow you to bask in the light of mine own magnificent presence, for as a samurai on a vital mission I can carry naught but my blade."

Shampoo made a strangling noise and Konatsu turned, fear erasing the facade of cuteness. The Amazon was trying almost successfully to stifle her laughter and he began breathing again. He forced the mask of girlish cuteness back into place and turned towards Kuno.

"Marianne!" a voice shrieked. Kuno stared at Azusa and for one precious moment he was speechless as his eyes grew wide.

"Umm, of a truth, I see I needs must seek the fair Ukyou Kuonji elsewhere." The boy backed towards the door, trapped by his own habit of using a dozen words when four would have done the job. "I needs must depart and so I bid you all farewell until another time, then."

"Wait, Marianne, I need you to use your magical tanuki powers to make my hair long again!"

Kuno disappeared, pursued by Azusa and followed by the grumbling Sasuke.

"I'm sorry." His whisper seemed a shout in the now silent room. "I'm sorry," Konatsu repeated. The words seemed inadequate, but they were sincere. "When I promised Azusa a date it was so she'd let go of me."

"So, Pervert Ninja Boy like having Stupid Pipsqueak Girl pawing all over him." Anger and sorrow had eroded her command of Japanese again. "Is much better than cripple girl like Shampoo whose legs never work again."

"No, I needed to get free of her so I could find Lady Ukyou so she could heal you. That's why I promised, not that I did you any good," he sighed. "You don't need me anymore than she does."

"Konatsu sound like he mean it, but you too good at pretending, Ninja Boy. How Shampoo know what you say is real?"

"You have to trust me. I can't prove anything. I just need you to trust me. I never wanted to hurt you. I..." And he was gone through the open doorway into the night.

"Airen," the girl whispered. "Airen, Shampoo is stupid one. Shampoo should trust you, like you trust her that day. Is not your fault stupid spell no cure Shampoo."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

/Anything Goes Paired Martial Arts Competition/

/First Prize - All You Can Eat Okonomiyaki/

/Sponsored by Ranchan and Ucchan's of Nerima/

They'd spent days blanketing the area with the fliers. If this didn't get his sisters' attention, the girls weren't in Kansai.

"Are you sure you wanna fight here, Ucchan?"

She'd trained all those years against the raging sea. Towering columns of rock rose from the water, lit by the morning sun. One of them, wider and lower than the others, formed a natural arena for the battle two meters above the water and nearly four meters across. A narrow ribbon of rock connected it to the land and scattered around it were other taller narrow columns, just wide enough for one person to stand.

"Now I know how you got so good at balancing." He recalled his first and only battle against her, how they'd not just walked but ran and fought along the fencetops. Or the Hot Springs Race, where Ukyou and Shampoo battled inconclusively as they rode logs down a speeding river. He grew cold as he remembered their first battle against a Mamono and the way Ukyou balanced one-legged on Haradachi itself and attacked it with her soulblade.

"Are you okay, Ranchan?"

"Yeah, I'm just trying to get used to this place before the competition starts." He looked at the rocks again, estimating height and distance, accounting for the wind, and ever mindful of the waves below. He was sure they'd win, but he hoped the other martial artists were good enough to make it interesting.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"That was tougher than I thought."

Ranma nodded in agreement. Their first opponents in the tournament had been trained in Martial Arts Dancing and they'd expected the battle to be easy. Every dance either of them had seen, however energetic, should have been confined to the main rock, but this pair from Brazil had been very acrobatic. They'd no problem balancing on their hands on even the smallest spire of rock and lashing out with their feet.

Fortunately, Ranma's Moko Takabisha caught the foreigners completely off guard and the fall into the water eliminated them from the tournament.

"So who are we fighting next, Ranchan?"

"Some couple named Zenkaku and Hibiki. Martial Arts Baseball."

"It's not Ryouga, is it?"

"Nope, it's..."

"What, Ranchan?

"A girl named Yoiko Hibiki."

Ukyou looked puzzled and her fiancé explained about the time he'd disguised himself as Ryouga's little sister.

"Is it her, then?"

"I don't know. I just made the name up. Even Ryouga doesn't know if he has a sister. If he really does and her name is Yoiko...that's just too weird."

"Compared to guys that turn into pigs or ducks or girls, Ranchan? Or magic buckets and ladles and umbrellas and mirrors? Or Yoma rings? Or guys with three fiancées?"

"Kasumi says it's nine, or is it ten? I don't even remember all the names."

Ukyou paused, noticing the pain in his eyes. "Ranchan, are you..."

"Okay? I guess so. I just hate the way everybody got hurt by all those dumb promises. At least I got the best one."

She nearly knocked both of them into the sea when she kissed him.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"I guess she's real," he muttered.

Yoiko Hibiki bore an uncanny resemblance to Ranma's cursed form, though the twin pigtails, chestnut hair, and chocolate eyes were different. Her partner, Akutou Zenkaku, had the red hair and blue eyes. Both wore baseball uniforms; the boy wore a glove and the girl carried a bat.

"You can leave the rock we're using as a battle arena," the referee droned, "you can use the rocky spires as well. If you fall into the ocean or retreat to the mainland, you are out of the fight. The fight continues until both members of one team surrender, fall unconscious, or leave the battle area, voluntarily or otherwise."

Nothing happened for a moment, as the couples eyed each other warily from opposite ends of the rock arena, ignoring the gentle wind tugging at their hair, analyzing their competition. Ranma grinned. Akutou grinned back and suddenly there was a baseball in his hands. Ukyou hefted her battle spatula confidently and the Hibiki girl hesitated, clutching her bat awkwardly.

The bat flew from Yoiko's hands with Ukyou's first swing, but after that the shorter girl became almost impossible to hit, using a variety of acrobatic flips avoid the taller girl's culinary weaponry. But each move cost Yoiko a bit of ground, until her heels touched the edge of the rock outcropping. One more step and she would fall into the ocean.

Ranma couldn't get near his opponent. Every time he tried, Akutou pulled another baseball out for nowhere and hurled it. Those that connected stung, though Ranma had taken worse blows from Ryouga.

And he didn't need a weapon to hit Akutou.

"Moko Takabisha." The baseball martial artist hadn't expected the ball of chi energy, nor did he manage to dodge. As he skidded across the rock, Yoiko flipped through the air, easily clearing Ukyou, and caught her partner just before he reached the edge, then stood protectively in front of him.

"Stronger than she looks," Ukyou commented.

Akutou sat up and shook his head. "Nice move, but aren't you two supposed to use the same martial art?"

Ukyou smiled. "The rules don't require it."

Yoiko's smile was bigger. In one smooth motion, the baseball uniform was gone, replaced by a lavender leotard. Ranma had seen the maneuver before, far too many times.

"Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics," he whispered.

But there was no maniacal laughter or scattering of rose petals. A ribbon appeared in the Hibiki girl's hands and lashed forward, wrapping tightly around her opponent's battle spatula. Yoiko gave a quick tug and Ukyou and her weapon became airborne.

"Ucchan!"

"I'm okay." She balanced on one of the narrow columns of rock. The other girl bounded after her, balancing on another column. Mini spatulas whistled through the air, only to be deflected by the lash of the gymnastics ribbon.

"Your girlfriend is pretty good," Ranma commented.

"Huh?" Akutou seemed dazed.

"What's with you? I didn't hit you that hard."

"Oh, um, sorry," the other boy blushed. "I was just remembering once when Yoiko forgot she didn't have the gymnastics uniform on underneath. At least it was just the two of us practicing in the gym."

Ranma blushed as well. "Ucchan did kinda the same thing once, too."

An ominous silence followed as the boys realized the girls were staring at them, not remotely pleased at this topic being discussed in public.

"I think we better start fighting before the girls kill us," Ranma whispered.

His opponent nodded. "At least this time I didn't mention Yoiko was wearing Hello Kitty underpants."

"That's not too bad; Ucchan wasn't wearing nothing at all."

Akutou winced.

"The girls heard us, didn't they," Ranma sighed.

The other boy nodded.

"We are so dead."

Akutou nodded again.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Author's Notes

The Bayankala (or Bayan Kara or Bayan Har) Mountains are the source of the Yellow River, about a thousand miles from the coast. Ranma and Genma managed that and swimming the China Sea in two weeks in the manga, which is rather impressive.

Akutou Zenkaku, the baseball martial artist is a character I created several years ago for a Ranmaesque Big Eyes Small Mouth game that never got off the ground. (Other players created a battle chef and a badminton samurai.) Akutou means 'wild pitch'. Zenkaku means 'full pitch' and is a printing term (fear the pun).

In the manga, Yoiko Hibiki was yet another alias used by Ranma to deceive Ryouga. In the unplayed BESM campaign, she was one of several potential rivals or romances I created, and the best choice for a teamup. (The Chinese girl was too powerful/not powerful enough depending on which personality was in charge and the Gambler King's daughter would have made for too much of a confrontation with Ranma and Ukyou.)

BTW, three guesses which Jusenkyou spring Akutou, the baseball martial artist, fell into.