A kiss leads directly to the soul

One kiss can change a life time

One kiss can twist the meanings of phrases

A kiss changes the feeling of love

Visiting Konoha is always a refreshing sight if you know what I mean. (Of course you don't, you are nothing more than an inanimate object.) Anyways, as you get closer to the gates, you finally realize just how green the place is. Alright, I know that compared to my home anywhere is green, but still, that's totally not my point here. It was nice to feel a slight breeze that didn't fling any dirt into your hair.

And yet, in life, moments like those are overshadowed by events we consider to be bigger. To me, as unfortunate as it is, he is an event that I consider to be bigger.

Just like every other time before, I could tell that he had been waiting for me for awhile. He was leaned up against the wall, head in the clouds. Nothing is new there. He is constantly looking up. Even so, I have always wondered why he was so fascinated with them.

I remember that we once talked about the clouds. And yes, I find that a little crazy too. I mean, who really sits around and talks about silly little things like clouds? The only people I can picture doing that is old married couples. Not that I picture us as an old married couple or anything.

Oh, so back on topic (if there even truly is a topic), we have this tradition. Well, really, I don't know how to describe as anything other than a tradition, so that's the word I'm using for it. Every time that we meet at the gate, we banter. We exchange insults that other people would probably get offended by. Normally, I shoot out "crybaby" because it's the first one that pops into my head the majority of the time. But others can include "asshole", "dipshit", and the occasional sarcastically-toned "genius".

He normally replies with a "troublesome woman" retort or he'll mumble something under his breath. Nevertheless, it is somewhat of a tradition to us. It really means nothing but a friendly hello. To tell you the truth, for as long as I can remember, we've greeted each other this way.

Which is why I found it rather weird when he barely even looked and acknowledged my presence this time around. I mean, I have always been the one to start the bickering, but nonetheless, by the end of it, we both had smirks on our face. So, as I almost always did, I said, "You know, slouching against a wall without paying any mind to the rest of the world isn't very smart, crybaby." He just shrugged. No comment. No tradition. No nothing. So, I was curious as to what was bugging him.

You see (I really should stop using that phrase because you never really can see stupid journal) Shikamaru is rarely ever upset because he finds that it takes too much energy to be upset, which (for once and hopefully only once) I might have to agree with him. I probably could count on one hand how much times I've seen him truly upset. And this was the first time I had ever seen him almost glazed.

I never really know how to deal with things of that nature. I mean, I have had two brothers my entire life. No mother. No real influence from my father. My brothers were all I had, and most of the other people stayed in my life for short time spans. It was never permanent. Gaara kept his heart bottled up so deep that I'm surprised he never killed me. And as for Kunkoro, he kept to himself as well. Plus, we both were to busy with Gaara to really pay attention to our own problems. They weren't as important.

So there I was, with Shikamaru in distress, and I knew that unless I approached him about it, he would keep that bottled up inside. In a way, like I am doing. But that's a totally different story. I mean, I can handle myself just fine.

I recall walking the typical paths we walked. They all seemed so empty even though many people filled in the streets. I knew exactly why. Remember how I told you that he was the bigger moment than the breeze? That he overshadowed it? Yeah, I'm talking about this upcoming moment.

I don't how or even maybe why I jumped in front of him and had the stupid courage to tell him that we needed to talk somewhere private. I blushed right after the words slipped off pof my tongue. I didn't want him to get the wrong idea (because believe it or not, ladies, all guys are horny) , but would it be a bad thing if he did?

Luckily I didn't have to wonder about that too long. He simply nodded and nudged me in the straight-shot alleyway that led to a field. A green field. He lead the way, very lazily. He had is hands in his pockets (so predictable), but still, he wasn't the same. He was tense, unnerved even. He sat down in the grass against the lone tree at the very top of the hill. Not that it was a steep hill; it's just that it seemed to be sort of out of nowhere.

So, we sat there in silence for a good ten minutes or so. And then the meltdown began. He told me everything. I was surprised at it because it didn't seem like Shikamaru would share his feelings so easily. I mean, it took a miserably failed mission to get him to open up just a little. Now imagine that he is spilling his guts to you on a hill. It's madness! (Not that I mind it. To live, you have to be a little crazy, right?) He told me about Asuma. About his last mission. About the troubles he was facing within himself, and after all of that, he looked me directly in the face and said, "I'm sorry."

He said it in a way that makes you feel bad for him saying those words. In the sincere way that drives me insane. So, what did I do? I started talking about my background. And halfway, I stopped. I looked over, and for once, Shikamaru wasn't looking at the clouds. He was looking directly at him. And not in his normal lazy way. It was in a more intent way. The way that made my skin crawl. The way that made me kiss him on that hill under a lone tree.

I stunned even myself and then it was my turn to apologize, but then I realized something: he had kissed back. I tried to say those two small words, but they were so distant from my tongue. He simply smirked and stated the obvious, "I knew you liked me."

Do I? Do I truly like him? No, no I don't. Isn't it obvious? I love him. Unfortunately, it took a kiss for a genius to even make sure I like him. How pathetic on his part. On my part.

Anyways, I don't know why I made the next advance and induced a make-out scene on the top of the hill. Maybe it was the rush. Maybe it was the thought of being with him. Maybe it was some stupid thing people call fate or destiny. All I know is that he had to have felt the same way because he was kissing back with passion.

Just as I pictured.