Being stabbed multiple times, being shot in head, being beaten down by a gang at the same time, was nothing like what I had to go through. The burning constantly and constantly getting impossibly worster than before. My screaming turned into crying because my throat was too sore to yell. Though all was going on Edward leaving me was worster, it was not even close to this torture.

It been three days, and now the burning was full blown in my chest,, my heart beating slower and slower into nothing. Then at that moment I knew any one miles away was hearing me, this was the last part of the change. I screamed very loud, growled, snarled, whimpered, cry. I did all of that until my last heart beat and everything just stopped.

I was now dead, the living dead, the cold stone living dead. All the pain I didn't go through was not all over because the dry ness in my throat hurted so badly. I couldn't ignore the pain that remained there, even though as hard as I tried.

My eyes opened, to see that I was still in the same dirty,shack with Victoria no where around. Looking around I could see that now my sight was very much clear, though I thought I had perfect eyes when I was human. Then it was setlling, I could smell everything beyond me, from oak wood tree, apples, grass, dirt, and lastly the moast arousing smell I have never smelled before.

Blood.

Without another second on the cold ground, I gotten up startled by my quick movement but then all my mind was on how to get the blood. I ran out of the small shack to find the sourse of the beautiful smell, I ran and ran until my eyes caught some one.

A mail man. His blood was calling and I couldn't ignore it, and I ran straight to him. About two minutes later all of his blood was drained, and I was on his side crying.

Oh my god, I'm a monster, I killed a man that could have a had a family with children and a bright future. I cried hugging myself rocking back and forth because all of it happened so fast. I just couldn't stop myself or the thirst. I was disgusted in myself, how can I be so careless, I cried and cried with no tears running down my face.

...

Hours later I had to come to my senses and burry the body, where no one can find it. I buried him right behind the shack, using my hands to dig out the dirt, that was now clouded in my finger nails aftee burrying him I went back into the shack and just sat there, as like nothing happened.

I was very dissapointed in myself, and surely hell knew that 'him' and his family wouldn't be pleased but now I didn't care because caring and worrying about almost all the time, now had me very angry.

Knowing that none of his family had to choice not but to move, but they are much apart of it as he is. So they aren't innocent either.

Alice and Emmett and Esme surprised me the most all the comments they have been telling me of how I was there little sister and they love me or I was the daughter they never had. Was all a lie.

Rosalie and Jasper and I never had been close and never will have that chance. If it was up to them I would have never exist, I would have been like the others they have ignored. They didn't like me because I was considered a threat to there family and wanted nothing to do with me. Though it seemed very strange to me that, I should have known they would have left with nothing to say, and I wasn't all that mad at them.

Carlisle the father that I never had, hurted me too. Always was the one to stop something that was turning out to be the worst thing hurted me too, so I was upset with him also.

Edward.

I just couldn't explain, but if I had a chance to see him, god is the only one who would know what I will do. I would probably do something I will regret, but not too much, I wasn't a very violent person but what he did will surely hell make me. I wanted to hurt him like he hurted me.

But even though how much he hurted me, I needed him like air.