BPOV

The months passed in a blur. With the exception of my classes, I would spend my time working in a small local bookstore, cleaning the warehouse that was slowly but surely turning into Jake's own paradise, and juggling homework and our relationship. I always went to bed exhausted, but feeling extremely proud of myself.

Now, a week before Christmas break, I walked from the bookstore toward Jake's second home. He was truly and utterly devoted into his garage, spending more time in there than he did at home. Billy often complained about he sometimes forgot what he looked like, he was gone so often-either for school, the garage, or with me. But when seeing what he, Quil, and Embry were able to accomplish in only a few short months, no one could hide their awe.

The grungy, vandalized, trashed warehouse was now full of light with zero cobwebs, a clean floor, and new paint. The graffiti had been covered, the overhead door replaced, and I knew that the garage was only a few signatures away from being open for business. Embry's uncle had taken over all of the paper work for the garage, so Jake and his seventeen year old self didn't have to worry about loans and lawyers.

I skipped over a river of slush that was flowing along the sidewalk, and hurried through the open door, into the warmth. Though Seattle had become considerably colder within the past few weeks, Jake still left the door open, but kept the heat up for me. Not very energy efficient, but…considerate. The warmth enveloped over me, as I slipped out of my parka and carefully hung it on a nail by the door, shutting the door behind me.

"Jake!" I called, making my way around his Rabbit that was parked cozily in the garage. I smiled at the sight. Soon more cars would file in beside it, the garage will be packed…

"Back here, honey!" he answered from the back office. I could see through the tiny office window that he was bent over some papers on the desk, a look of deep concentration on his face. I smiled at the sight. He was so ready for this place to be up and running.

"What are you doing?" I wondered, leaning against the doorway. The office was so small, especially with a desk and Jake's overgrown body in it, that if I tried to get in, I would all but be in Jake's lap. Normally this wouldn't matter….but he was working. He threw me a quick smile before looking back at the documents.

"Ordering some new stuff. Embry, Quil, and I can donate only so many things…and most of them are rusty." I rolled my eyes. Jake took care of his tools, each month he spent an entire day shining and oiling them. He circled one last thing, almost throwing the pen down, before stretching his long arms to me. I giggled as he grabbed my waist and pulled me into the room, and into his lap.

"Much better." He growled lowly, pressing a kiss into my neck. I had to agree. Being away from Jacob was like splitting myself down the middle and leaving one half at home. Now that we were together, I was whole again. Whole….warm….protected…and loved. What more could I ask for? "How was your day, baby?" he asked me.

"Pretty good. Yours?" I didn't even have to ask. I knew he had been up here all day, going through papers, ordering tools, trying to finalize things with Embry's uncle and the insurance company. He groaned in response and nuzzled my neck. I ran my fingers through his long hair, trying to make him relax. For a sixteen-year-old, he was working himself too hard.

"Better now that you're here." He said, pressing his lips into the hollow of my throat. I smiled, grabbed his chin, and pulled his face level with mine.

"I could say the same thing." I responded, before pressing my lips to his. Thus, I received the very thing I had been subconsciously craving ever since Jake and I parted after lunch…the passionate fire that always engulfed me when our lips met. I do not know what is so…addicting about it, but I always found that I could not get enough of it. I wove my finger through his hair and pulled myself closer to him, relishing in the feeling of his warm mouth moving with mine.

He groaned into me, before shifting me to where I was straddling his lap, his hands gripping my hips. I smiled into the kiss as he pulled me impossibly tighter against him. One thing I loved about being with Jake was that I didn't have to be afraid to initiate or get into a kiss. I didn't have to worry about limited time before my safety became an issue, I didn't have to sit through a lecture afterward…because he never pulled away. He was always as into it as I was.

Jakes hands slowly shifted up from my hips and began playing with the hem of my shirt for a moment. I giggled breathlessly as the loose fabric tickled my skin. He took that as a sign of encouragement and I felt his burning hands slide against the skin of my lower back. Sharp volts of electricity shot through me as his hands danced along my back, his mouth more urgent against mine. My short breaths were intermingled with his to point where I couldn't distinguish the two. Was I even breathing? Or was he supplying my air? Stealing my air? My head spun from a combination of lack of oxygen and the bolts of lighting that shocked my being.

But it all stopped when I felt his warm fingers begin to fondle with the clasp of my bra.

"Stop." I gasped out, pulling away from Jacob almost violently, falling completely out of his lap and onto the floor, hitting my head against the wall. There was a beat of silence, well…not silence. The office was filled with our gasping breaths, my heart beat was pounding so hard he had to be able to hear it. I sat there, my head throbbing painfully, trying to control my breathing, when I heard the door open.

"Jake, you in here, man?" Embry called, from the door. I quickly made my way to a standing position, avoiding Jakes eyes. "Oh hey Bella!" Embry greeted me from outside the office door (he wouldn't have a chance of fitting with both me and Jake here).

"Hey Embry." I muttered. "Umm, I'm going to head out." I continued, shuffling my way out the door.

"Wait, Bella, let me give you a ride." Jake offered, starting to get up from the desk, but I shook my head. I couldn't handle the conversation he was bound to bring…not now.

"It's a nice night, and not that far to walk. I'll call you later." And with that, I rushed from view, grabbed my parka from the nail quickly and stepped out into the night. I know I shouldn't hide from this conversation, but…I wasn't able to talk to Jake about that just yet.

Why? You had no trouble expressing your views to Edward? A part of me mentioned. In fact…you know that you wouldn't have stopped him if he wanted to take off your bra.

Edward is different from Jacob. I argued with myself as made my way through the dark Seattle jungle.

How?

With Edward I was afraid of time. I was afraid that he would disappear every time I blinked. I was afraid that we would never get the chance….so I pushed it. But with Jacob I know he'll be there for me. I know he'll wait, and I know that he won't suddenly turn into a puff of smoke. And since we have that time…there's no need to rush.

Then why did it bother you so much?

…I don't know. I don't know why it bothered me.

Having doubts? You made your choice….but you chose wrong?

No. I know I made the right choice. I loved Edward, but I love Jacob now. I am with Jacob and I couldn't be happier with him. So what if I don't want to go that far with him just yet? That doesn't mean anything. That doesn't change the fact that I want to spend my life with Jacob. We will progress physically at some point…but not now. And there's nothing wrong with that. And Edward has nothing to do with my relationship with Jake.

Whatever helps you sleep at night…

A/N: I'm a horrible horrible person, yes? GAH! but i'm here now. Reviews are loved and welcomed, both good and bad, and they actually do make me type faster (got 0 reviews for ch5...) :DD