FMA Quiz Show
Episode Two: Love, Rejection and Milk
PoX's Note: So this is this week's chapter! The Gem Alchemist edited a few things from this chapter, whereas the 'Love DM' Alchemist – formerly known as the I-Have-No-Idea-What Alchemist – changed more things on this chapter than the Gem Alchemist {If the Love DM Alchemist is reading this right now, sorry but I think Love DM Alchemist really suits you, unless you want to be called the I-Have-No-Idea-What Alchemist!}. If you think that updating weekly is too long, well, too bad, because sadly, I cannot update any sooner unless – yes, UNLESS – I have spare time to write the chapter. So, if you were wondering about that, then I have just answered your question. So… back to the point, I hope you enjoy this story very, very much and please read very carefully and take your time and review!
…
"Welcome back to the FMA Quiz Show!" Mei declared loudly to the cheering audience. "This is the very second episode of this show, and I bet you're all excited!" Xiao Mei waved her hands proudly to attract some attention towards her. After all, it was only Mei who got all the attention. It would be good if she got some too.
"So now," Mei swept on, "our first quiz question is from oORiceballOo and it goes to…" There was a short pause before Mei announced, "Riza Hawkeye!"
The crowd went utterly crazy – for some odd reason - as Riza stepped out from backstage feeling awkward to have so much attention towards her. Mei blinked encouragingly at her and continued by saying, "Now, Riza, are you ready for the quiz question that everyone's been waiting for?"
Riza nodded, still embarrassed. "Umm… I guess so…"
"And so, the question is…" Mei – yet again – did one of her short pauses before asking, oh, so very sweetly, "Do you like Roy, Riza-san?"
Riza felt anger surge through her. "LIKE HELL I WOULD!" she snapped at the Xingese girl.
From backstage, both Mei and Riza heard Ed laughing his head off as he said, "Hahaha! The Colonel just got rejected!" The Colonel himself, who was standing next to Ed, fell to his knees, totally depressed.
"I think I'm gonna commit suicide any moment now…" he grumbled, and it seemed that there were clouds of gloom forming around his head, and he just grew older.
"Plus," Riza added, still mad – and not seeming to notice the fact that the Colonel was even there listening to her, "that's not even a quiz question!"
"At least it's still a question," Mei replied. "So, because – I guess – you got it right… I'll give you a cookie!" She pulled out a cookie from a jar. "Do you like choc-chip?"
Ed stared at the cookie hungrily. He stomped out of the backstage and demanded to Mei, "Give me a cookie too!"
"You're just in time, beanie," the small girl said. Xiao Mei cracked up.
"BEANIE?" Ed was just as mad as Riza, maybe even madder. "WHO THE *BEEP* ARE YOU CALLING A BEANIE?"
"You, you dumbass," Mei sighed. Sometimes people older than her could be so damn stupid at times. "Well, you're just in time, because oORiceballOo has a quiz question to ask you. If you get it right, then I'll give you a cookie. If not, then you're going to face hell."
"Just tell me the question so I can get a cookie!" Ed snapped, impatient now.
"Okay, okay!" Mei looked at her palm cards. "Let's see… the question is…" She looked at Ed. "How many times have you faced embarrassment because you thought you were going to die but it turns out that you didn't die at all?" Both Xiao Mei and Ed looked at Mei in confusion.
"Wait… what?"
"How many times have you faced embarrassment because you thought you were going to die but it turns out that you didn't die at all?" Mei repeated.
"That's such a long question!" Ed complained. "I didn't even get half of it!" Xiao Mei nodded, agreeing with 'the beanie' for once.
"Then let's make it shorter," Mei replied. "Umm… How many times have you almost died but never did?"
"That's better…" Ed sighed. "Wait… hey! Are you trying to embarrass me here? I've NEVER EVER faced embarrassment because I've almost died but never did! I've NEVER EVER almost died in my life!"
"That's where you're WRONG!" Mei cried, and the crowd laughed at his idiocy. "Sorry, but no cookie for YOU!" Xiao Mei practically laughed her head off. "So now, because you got the question wrong, you have to face punishment!"
"No cookie? WHY?THAT'S SO UNFAIR!" Ed complained.
"Nup, seeing that you got the question wrong. You see, if you get the question right, then you don't have to face hell and not get a cookie. Because Riza got the question right – I think – and so she got a choc-chip cookie, whereas you got the question wrong."
"NO COOKIE!" Ed whined, still over the fact that he didn't get one.
"So now," Mei went on cheerfully, "the punishment – and the author thought of this one – is here!" Colonel Mustang happily came out from backstage, and so did Winry. They both carried milk bottles (four milk bottles) and set them on a table that was in front of Ed. "You have to drink all four milk bottles," Mei explained.
The Colonel was cracking up now, which made Ed look like a total jackass. "I'm not going to drink that," he told Mei seriously.
Mei shrugged. "Well," she said, "that's just too bad for you. You got the question wrong, you know."
Ed just stared at the milk bottle. "Can't you just think of a better punishment?" he asked.
"TOO BAD and just DRINK IT or I'll MAKE YOU!" Mei shouted.
"I'M NOT GOING TO DRINK COW PISS!" Ed yelled back. "YOU'RE NOT GONNA MAKE ME!"
Both the Colonel and Winry started cracking up. Ed – in embarrassment, fled backstage, and so Mei and Colonel Mustang chased after him. Riza was just staring at them, shaking her head at their immatureness (and also eating her choc-chip cookie too!), while the automail mechanic sighed and followed them (very, very slowly).
…
"In the end, we somehow managed to catch up with Ed and force the milk down his throat," Mei told the watching audience who was muttering. Ed was at the back of the spotlight – just visible – puking over and over again the milk.
"Curse those cows," he coughed. "And I didn't manage to get my choc-chip cookie too… sniffle."
Riza tutted and Winry laughed.
"And so, that concludes this week's show," Mei announced. Colonel Mustang turned around and dragged Ed out of the stage where he could puke in the toilets. After a while, both Riza and Winry followed him.
"See you now and I hope that you have enjoyed watching this show! Can't wait for next week's one now, eh?" Mei winked and the show was finished.
*TV switches off*
…
PoX's Note: Did you enjoy that? I hope you did. I've put a whole lot of effort on this one. Personally I like the part when the Colonel and Winry make their awesome appearance by presenting milk bottles to Ed, who, I hope you all know, doesn't like milk, and refused to drink it. If any of you are wondering why Mei is the host and not Envy – seeing that I'm a total fan of Envy – well, that's because Mei's so awesome and because she practically only shows the most respect and love towards Al and no one else. Oh, and next chapter, it's going to be based on Ling and LanFan and Greedling. I hope that answers any of your questions – that is, if you ever thought about any of these questions- and all suggestions will be accepted and put into this story (unless someone has already mentioned it). Feedback is accepted too (I. Love. Feedback.) and if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask. Thanks for reading and I will be updating next week!