FMA Quiz Show
Episode Three: Xingese Rivals
PoX's Note: Yeah! I'm back again! YAY! Well, I was kidding when I called the other Alchemist the 'Love DM Alchemist', that was just a joke. It's still the 'Other Alchemist'. So, I got some more help from her again, and also from the Gem Alchemist. Go them! Back to this story, as you can see from the title of this episode, it's based on the Xingese people! Except Fu's not in it because if he was, what's he doing there in the first place? Well, enjoy.
Mei – for the third time – announced to the cheering crowd, "Welcome back AGAIN to the FMA Quiz Show!"
Yet again, the crowd cheered with excitement, all wondering what would happen in this episode. The host of the show, too, was jumping up and down with excitement. Obviously this episode was going to be fun, and amusing.
"Well, to begin with," the host began, "Xiao Mei is actually sick today, so she's not in today's show, sadly. She just missed out on the funniest episode! Oh yeah, I'm just going to tell you this episode is going to be very, very hilarious. Now, back to the show, let's see… the very first question is from Pavalova… and it goes to…" A short pause followed after that and there was a quiet drumroll. "… Greedling!"
The Homunculus stepped out from the shadows of the curtain and stood in the spotlight. He looked very content; don't forget he wants to become King of the World, so it's not very surprising he likes the attention. "You're not Ling, aren't you?" Mei added. She didn't want Ling to suddenly pop out of his own body and ruin the show.
"Of course not," Greedling replied. "Do you want proof?" He narrowed his eyes.
"N-no," Mei stammered. "I'm fine. That's proof enough. Well, so, are you, umm… ready for the one question that Pavalova has for you?"
"Well, duh…"
"Okay!" the host cried, and the crowd hollered with anticipation. "SO NOW, the ONE QUESTION is… 'Does Ling have a girlfriend… or at least someone that he loves and cares for?'"
"Of course he does," Greedling snorted. From inside, Ling jumped up and demanded, "Greed! Stop talking and just SHUP UP before my rival finds out who I really like! Seriously! If she finds out she's going to laugh her head off and the Yao Clan will be humiliated and then the person I care about is going to kill me too because she just got humiliated as well and –"
"So you admit that you like someone? Gee…" Greedling sighed. "You blabber too much. That's how people find answers from you. But then, sometimes I wish you didn't exist."
"If I didn't exist then you wouldn't be alive right now, you dope!"
"Whatever," he shrugged. To Mei he added, "Well, he does."
"Then you're… CORRECT!" she declared, and she handed Greedling a cookie, in which he ate on it happily. "So then…" she stared sweetly at him and asked innocently, "Who does he like?"
Greedling finished his cookie and was about to answer when – and this is the most disappointing part for Mei – Ling somehow, in anger and embarrassment, reclaimed his body and snapped at his Xingese rival, "No freaking way is he going to tell you! Plus, you told Greedling that you were going to ask him ONE question. ONE QUESTION. OKAY? So that means you can't ask him another! Ha! Snap! Beat that! Ney!"
Mei was totally sad and depressed. "Just when I was going to find out the answer…" she sighed. Then she stared at her palm cards and immediately brightened up. "Wait…" she swung around to stare at Ling. "I did say I was going to ask Greedling a question, right?"
"I just said that before!" the Xingese prince replied impatiently.
"Yeah well, I can still ask YOU a question, and plus, it's a good thing that IvyShort asked this question too," Mei replied. "So, you ready for it?"
"NO WAY!" Ling shouted. "I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT!"
"Too bad, then," Mei answered cheerfully. "So then, the question from IvyShort is… 'You like Lan Fan, don't you?'"
"N-NO WAY!" Ling stammered hastily. "I don't like her at all! AT ALL! She means NOTHING to me! NOTHING, YOU HEAR, NEY?"
Mei did a pretend cry. "Boy, I feel so sorry for Lan Fan," she sobbed sarcastically. "The one she loves just broke her heart.
True enough, for Lan Fan was actually backstage. She ran up to Ling and cried, "I thought you liked me! I THOUGHT YOU DID! And you told the audience that you DIDN'T! Do you know how SAD I feel right now? Don't you know that I've liked you all this time? Even before we left for Amestris?"
"H-huh?" Ling didn't even know what was going on. Everything was happening way too quickly for his liking. "Umm… I really like you… it's just that… I-I was only trying not to embarrass the Yao Clan in front of this Xingese brat…"
"Wouldn't it be better if you actually DID confess your feelings about me then go and embarrass us now in front of the *BEEPING* cameras?"
"Umm… well, you're the one who's actually embarrassing us…" Ling replied slowly.
Lan Fan blushed. "…Whoops," she said, and she backed away from the spotlight and hid away in the backstage, where she did her protesting and crying there. Mei was cracking up, as though that was the funniest scene she'd ever watched.
"You got the question WRONG, Ling Yao," Mei told the Xingese prince.
"I-I did? How did you know?"
"Don't think I didn't hear your talk with Lan Fan. You said, 'I really like you". See? I actually listen, okay?"
"She's got a good memory…" Greed told Ling from inside.
"Shut up!" Ling snapped. "Then what happens if I get the question wrong?"
"You face punishment, and no cookie, that's what." Mei looked around. "So, the punishment was thought up by Pavalova, and it's one of the best I've actually heard so far in this show too," she added. "Well, let's see… where's the TV? I can't seem to find it."
Ed suddenly appeared pushing a TV into the spotlight. He was constantly tripping over the cable, but managed to drag it over. "Have fun watching this video, squinty-eyed bastard," he told Ling, winking at Mei, who winked back. Ling wondered what they were planning.
"Oh, I'm so going to enjoy this…" Greed said.
"Do you know what's happening?" Ling asked curiously.
"No, it's just that, by Ed's voice, he seems as though he's already watched the movie and that it's going to make you feel rejected or something…"
"Oh, okay… but like, what's going to make me feel rejected?"
"That," Mei replied, and she turned on the TV. As the movie played on, Ling's mouth soon dropped open, and fell down right to the floor, very, very slowly. His eyes turned from normally squinty to total shock and depression, and he fell to his knees in rejection.
"Hahaha!" Greed laughed from inside. "That looks totally funny! What if that was true and Lan Fan really did that?"
"Shut… up…" Ling said depressively. "Not… in… mood…"
You're probably curious to find out what was in the TV that made Ling feel like that, right? Well, the movie was based on that Lan Fan was dating other guys. Random hot guys, to be precise. In real life, this is not true. Lan Fan made this movie in case Ling got the question wrong – in which he did – and that she would get revenge by making this movie. And it worked, and the real Lan Fan was laughing her head off backstage, even though she was still sad that Ling hurt her feelings.
"Told ya!" Ed laughed, and soon Mei was cracking up. Ling didn't even hear them. He was lost in his own, miserable world.
"And so that concludes today's episode!" Mei announced. "I hope you had fun today, because I sure did!"
The credits rolled in and it said:
Mei = Host for the Show
Xiao Mei = Panda
Edward = TV Dragger
Lan Fan = Movie Maker and Drama Queen :D
Greedling = Question Answer-er
Ling = The Lan Fan Lover 3
Thanks for watching today's episode of epic funny-ness and I bet you can't wait for next week's episode! Also, please review! Thank you!
And the TV switches off.
...
PoX's Note: Thanks for reading it! Sorry, but today, my Author's Notes are quite short. That's because... IT'S DA HOLIDAYS! This chapter is especially to the Gem Alchemist. Oh, and the other Alchemist. Please review and Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year if I don't remember to tell you this on Christmas. Thank you all readers and have fun for the rest of the year!