Author's Note: I just had to throw this in! Also, I got a lovely review from someone using the name "moonyismine", but I couldn't respond! I just wanted to say that your review is exactly what every author wants to hear, and I'm no exception. You're the reason this chapter is here today! 3

At their best, the weeks following the trip to Hogsmeade are awkward.

At their worst, they're painful.

To say that Sirius was blindsided by Remus' move back at the Shrieking Shack would be the understatement of his life. He couldn't even think to unload and untangle how he felt. He'd never thought of Remus that way before.

Hell, he'd practically never thought of any one particular person that way before. When Sirius thought of kissing girls, it wasn't like he conjured a specific one. It was a body, with supple breasts and soft, smooth skin and long legs. He kissed with his eyes closed. He could count on two hands the number of birds he'd kissed, ever.

What did Remus think, every time he looked at Sirius?

Did he … did he think things? Did he … fantasize?

He couldn't handle something like that. Not with Remus. Remus was his best friend, the way that James was his brother. Remus was the only one who could truly understand.

No one wanted to believe that Sirius Black, heir to the Black line and fortune, hated his family. No one wanted to think that he was unhappy, or that he would actually prefer to hang with whom he did over his own kind – Purebloods.

Both Peter and James came from fine families. Neither them nor Sirius had ever wanted for anything. Then came Remus.

Remus reminded Sirius to be humble. Remus was the one who could take Sirius down a notch, and Sirius found that he didn't really mind.

He started cold turkey. It wasn't always easy, ignoring Remus, but he did his best. Occasionally, he'd begin to bend over across the table, or lean into the other boy, ready to whisper some tasty tidbit into his ear before he'd remember himself. He didn't put an arm around Remus' shoulder when it came time to walk to class, or the Great Hall, or to bed. He didn't bother Remus when he was working. He didn't ask the other boy for help with essays – and blimey was that a real sacrifice. When he went down to Honeydukes after dinner - against the rules, of course – he did not buy a huge milk chocolate bar for Remus, as he would have done… before. When it came time to unload the goodies in the privacy of the dorm, Sirius wouldn't look Remus in the eye, afraid to see any sign of disappointment or bereavement.

It wasn't that he wanted to hurt Remus, Sirius assured himself. It was more that he couldn't trust Remus anymore. How could he be sure that Remus wasn't ogling his arse, or having wet dreams about the two of them… together?

When it came time for another customary prank against Snivellus, they hit a wall.

"Oi, mates, hold on," James exclaimed, looking over the notes they'd madly scribbled. "Anyone know how to make the smoke come out from his 'pits? I mean, we can't just walk up and stick something there."

"Let's ask Remus!" Peter piped up.

At the mention of their fourth Marauder, Sirius' head jerked up. James and Peter were both staring at him expectantly.

"What?" he snapped, raising his eyebrows and hunching his shoulders.

"We need to ask Remus for some help with the smoke bit," James explained, smiling like he knew what Sirius had been thinking about. Sirius sincerely hoped he didn't. "Could you go talk to him?"

Actually, Sirius would rather have not spoken with Remus, but he couldn't very well say that. Outside of James, Remus was the one with whom Sirius spent all his time. If he started acting up now, James and Peter would be on him forever until he spilled the beans.

"Alright, yeah. Be right back."

oOo

Sirius never spoke to Remus. He strode out from the Common Room without looking at the other boy twice, even though they passed within two feet of each other. Instead, he headed right for the library and researched for nearly an hour on how to make the smoke work how they wanted.

oOo

James and Peter were never the wiser.

Two days before Remus was due to head to the Shrieking Shack, James approached Sirius in the middle of the Great Hall at lunch.

"Sirius, can we talk?" he asked, sliding across the bench until they sat straight across from one another.

"Sure mate. What's up?" Sirius took another too-large bite of curry, reveling in how it burned across his mouth and throat.

"Is something going on between you and Remus?"

Sirius choked, coughing, managing to spew his mouthful back across his plate. James stared hard at him when he'd recovered. Sirius managed to regain his voice, though it was rough and broken up by intermittent coughs.

"Sorry, ah, must have had some spice go down the wrong pipe," he managed to wheeze, pulling a napkin over his face as he continued to cough. "What'd you say?"

"I said, is something going on between you and Remus?"

Is something going on between Remus and me? No. Why? We have nothing between us, nothing. He's the one who … who…

"Of course not. Why would you think that?"

James wasn't very easily discouraged. "Sirius, mate, come on. I know that you didn't ask Remus for help with the prank. You've been really dodgy lately around him, too. You think we haven't noticed? Merlin, not a day used to go by without you bugging Remus to get his head out of his books. Now you barely even speak to him!"

Sirius felt his gut tighten, anxious waves rippling through the ocean in his stomach.

"Does this have something to do with that day in Hogsmeade?"

Somehow, James was just throwing Sirius off left, right and sideways. His head lurched up in shock, and there must have been something in his face. James knew him too well.

"It's between him and I," Sirius interjected as James opened his mouth again, tone final. "Don't worry, James. I'll work this out. I always do."

"What do you mean you're not going to the Shack?" James spat, voice heavy with venom. Peter cowered in the corner by the door, Invisibility Cloak clutched tight in his sweaty hands.

"I told you, James. You know how Moony's emotions go mad when he transforms. Right now, we're still … we're still pissed at each other, all right? I don't want to mess with him anymore. I don't want to endanger everyone over little 'ol me. You and Pete can handle 'im just fine, right Petey?"

Peter simply stood there, eyes wide and flicking back and forth between James and Sirius.

James seethed for a moment before stomping over to the door and wrenching it open. Peter scurried down the steps. Before he left, James turned and pinned Sirius with a death-glare.

"I don't know what's going on, Sirius, but believe me, I will find out, you hear me?"

oOo

There was no way that Sirius could stay here at Hogwarts, alone, with Remus. It would kill them. When James offered to take Sirius with him over the entirety of break into the countryside, Sirius couldn't say no. It was too perfect.

oOo

It was a testament to Remus, really, that the Prefect still helped Sirius pack his trunk when the two of them were in the middle of something as deep as they were. It made Sirius' heart tug painfully.

As Remus packed, Sirius picked up a book and scanned the pages, falling back into his own bed with a tired sigh.

"You know," came Remus' soft voice from the foot of the bed. Sirius hazarded a glance over the top of his book, watching Remus' face as he concentrated on wand movements, the clothing smoothing out and neatly folding before floating behind the open lid of his trunk. "You can't just pretend I don't exist, Padfoot."

Sirius started; the tone was calm, the implication so sharp.

"Excuse me?" he replied, keeping his words gentle.

"I'm not stupid, Sirius," Remus snapped, words hard as steel even as his tone stayed level, his eyes never straying from the piece of clothing he was neatly magicking into the trunk. "We don't have to be kindergarteners, you know. I'm not made of glass. I don't even know what I was—"

"Moony, for Merlin's sake, I don't want to talk—" Sirius quickly cut him off, not wanting to hear that sentence finished.

"I've figured that out, Sirius!"

Sirius sat up; startled by Remus' harsh remark, though he managed to keep the movement fluid and calm. He gave a put-upon sigh and raked a hand back through his hair, the book forgotten on his lap.

"Remus, please…"

"No! Look, Sirius, I was just… I was just emotional, and I –"

"You kissed me." Sirius said, deadpanning, not even sure that the steel, calm voice he heard was coming from him. He stared up at Remus through a fringe of his hair, watching the other boy's face go blank, his expression haze over. The words were perfect; a dart to the one chink in Remus' armor. It was a specialty of Sirius', some sort of defense mechanism that triggered itself. Before Remus could un-scramble his thoughts, Sirius stood and threw the book down on the bed.

"Thank you," he murmured as he left, and closed the door.