"What can I get you two?" The waitress asked in tiny restaurant they sat in, looking out towards Diagon Alley. The two women glanced at each other before Theodora allowed her friend, and co-worker, to order for the two of them.

"Today's soup special please," The waitress nodded, "and… just water I think for starters, could we get some bread rolls though, please?" The waitress nodded and smiled before walking away to hand the order to the kitchen.

"So what's been happening while I've been… absent?" Sandy glared at her, and shook her – recently died purple – hair from her eyes.

"Nah-uh, not until you tell me what happened, you went to Shreveport with an attitude of the Supes, then you come back and write an article in favour of the vamps? Not to mention you seem to have a new clothes sense that looks good on you. What in Merlin's name happened?" Theo grinned softly at the comment about her style.

"Pam took me out shopping after-"

"Pam… as in the blonde vampire woman you wrote about?" Theo nodded, "sweetie, have you been glamoured?" Theo shook her head as she ran her fingers through her hair, before flicking any stray strands off her fingers.

"I wish I had been," she whispered sadly.

"Alright hun, what happened?" And so Theodora told her friend what happened, the whole story from beginning to end, nearly completely unabridged. Sandy was a good friend and Theo was terrified that she would be losing their friendship very soon because of what happened.

Alexis had sounded so sorry for what was to happen in a few days and the contract that she had to sign didn't help to calm her nerves at all. And as she thought over the contract as she talked, she wondered if maybe she should have refused to sign it.

When she finally came to the end of the story, and the waitress had arrived for the second time, only with the soup this time, she looked at Sandy with sad eyes. "I don't think I'm coming back for some reason, I think my work expects me to die, maybe the vampire's want me dead or-"

"Maybe Pam wants you." Theo glared at her friend as soon as the comment was spoken.

"That was uncalled for, besides, if Pam wanted me she would have me." Sandy raised an eyebrow and leaned in over her soup, looking at Theo.

"Theo sweetie, are you gay?"

"What!" Theo jumped before slamming her fingers over her lips as people stared at them. She calmed herself down and smoothed down her outfit before looking back at her friend, "look love, you can tell me if you want, there aint anyone less judgemental then myself." Theo shook her head and smiled slightly.

"No, I'm not gay." She sighed and sat back in her chair, before tearing a piece of bread roll into small pieces to try the tomato soup. "Why'd you ask anyway?" She said before placing the dunked bread roll into her mouth delicately, making no mess as she did so.

"You mentioned before that you kissed her," Sandy shrugged as she took a spoonful of soup, after swallowing she spoke again, "and you mentioned that you liked it." Theodora paused midway between taking a sip of her water, and decided to just place the glass down on the table without taking a sip.

"No, it wasn't… it wasn't something gay you know, it was just…" She thought about how to word it, "it was just her kissing me and me kissing her, and both of us enjoying it, I mean, I've never before found another girl sexually attractive right? But Pam, I dunno, there was something about her, something… seductive under the surface but also beautiful in general, I guess." There was a pregnant pause held between them before Sandy spoke.

"Did you sleep with her?"

"No," Theo replied without a beat as she continued with her soup.

"Do you want to?" Theo went to answer, but found herself unable to find the truth in that question, she opened and closed her mouth a few times before stuffing a piece of bread into so she didn't have to answer at that point in time. Sandy made a noise of 'mmm' before saying, "that's what I thought."

"Shut up."

Theo pulled out her suitcase and began pulling out all her clothes before she began to separate them into two different piles. The clothes that she looked good in, and the clothes that she had thought she looked good in but now realised weren't her style.

She'd tried to look professional ever since she had received her job as a journalist for the Daily Prophet but now, since her expedition, she realised that 'dressing professionally' wasn't who she was. She wasn't professional, wasn't punctual, wasn't a neat freak and at times she was lazy, forgetful and quite a hard person to live with – hell she hadn't been able to live with another man for more then a few nights without been driven mad with lack of privacy.

She'd been wearing a mask, trying to be someone else, someone who was professional, someone who one day wanted to just settle down, marry and have children, someone who was punctual and enjoyed working and just was a face in the crowd who was perfect at her job. But she wasn't any of those things, she was just Theodora Alyssa James and it was time she finally realised that.

So she chucked out all the clothes that she could bear to part with, and kept all that she wanted.

If she was going to die when she returned to Shreveport then she was going to die living the life she wanted. She didn't want to live in England any more, she didn't want to work for a newspaper and be told what to write, and she didn't want to be tied down by anything. For once, she realised, that she just wanted to fly free.

Suddenly, as she stood up to place the good pile of clothes away, she was reminded of a list she had once heard about. Sandy had once told her about writing a list of ten things she was too scared to do, and do them before she died – she'd never done it, but now… now she had the opportunity to.

She placed the her clothes away before then pulling out a pot of ink, a piece of parchment and her best quill.

It didn't take her long to write out a list of ten things she'd always been scared to do, but been wanting to. Like for example, last year, when Sandy told her that she should write a book about something that she'd experienced instead of writing about what she wanted to experience.

Which took her to number nine, go to a party and kiss a stranger.

She should do this in order, she should start with the book, but something deep and animalistic inside her wanted to do a lot of the lower numbers on the list. She took a deep breath, shook her head and decided that no she was going to do this in order, and first thing was first; she was going to at least begin the book.

She grabbed her wand and apparated to her friend's apartment, muttering under her breath "ah, screw it."

Her body pulsed to the music, bodies sweating around her as she was. For the first time since she could remember, she was beginning to just… let go, ignore those nagging voices in the back of her mind, or the fact that part of her hair was trapped inside the inside of the wall (which took her and Sandy two hours to get her out safely).

Everything was for the first time, peaceful. She could understand why people became so addicted to this carefree life.

The music was loud, her ears numb from the sound and her mind was fuzzy from the muggle beverage… something about a long island – but Sandy told her it was barely alcoholic so it must just be the adrenaline in her system that was making it harder to think perfectly straight.

Wait.

She remembered something, she was supposed to be doing something… what was it again? Oh! Right, she was supposed to be doing her list, with the kissing a random guy… and stuff.

She continued dancing, it didn't matter right now to her, she liked this feeling, this loose, buzzing, drunken feeling that made her feel high.

A guy started to dance with her, his arms around her, she allowed him to grope her slightly, everything PG and over the clothes, and nothing too sexual or provocative, eventually she leaned in to kiss him as the music changed to a loud pulsing beat that went through her system like a heartbeat.

Fingers were in hair and when she finally pulled away, it was to see his face. He was pretty cute, but the kiss felt bland, it was enjoyable in a way that it had been exciting to do something she shan't ever do in reality, but… she didn't feel the same attraction that she had when she was with Marcus, there was nothing that really-

"What are you doing?" Sandy pulled her away from the redheaded stranger as she shouted over the music.

"Completely," Theo replied with a goofy smile, misunderstanding what her friend had asked her. Sandy rolled her eyes and half carried her friend outside the club.

"Look, I just realised how much alcohol was in that-"

"Mphg."

"What?"

"I don't… feel too well, I think I should go home," she clumsily began looking for her wand, which she had placed in a handbag that Sandy was holding, though she had forgotten that she wasn't holding it.

"Come on sweetie, your crashing at my place tonight."

"I miss Marcus, he used to hold me like I was a fragile doll."

"I know hun."