Confessions with Doctor Sweets

Angela's First Dirty Little Secrete

I don't even know why I want to talk to anyone about it. No one needs to know. I don't understand why I can't just keep it my little secrete. It's not like anyone will find out anyway… yeah right. Everyone will know as soon as the baby's born. It's going to be obvious as all hell. But I couldn't help it. I really couldn't. The man is gorgeous and when we happened to bump into each other in Paris it was so- right is the only word to describe it.

I know I shouldn't have done it. I knew the minute I initiated contact by accidentally bumping into him that it would break Hodgin's heart but at the moment I didn't care. That's how I am. I'm an in the moment person. Though I guess that's how I wound up here; after a serious bout of morning sickness I just needed to talk and I knew I could pull patient confidentiality on Sweets. That or butter him up, maybe even show him my boobs, but I highly doubt it will come to that.

So now I'm sitting on his lumpy couch deciding whether or not this was actually a good idea. Sweets had just finished up with a patient and said that he had no problem with seeing me. He even offered that we talk over lunch at the diner but I declined stating that the baby was making me queasy again. So after that he just wound up at his desk; and after asking if it was okay, he ordered lunch for himself. Thai; which sounded good but I really don't want to risk it coming back up. Once he got settled he asked the question I'd been dreading since I walked through his door.

"Okay Angela; what's up?"

Now I know that doesn't sound very professional but in my opinion it suits Sweets. He is still just a kid after all. Deciding not to side step the reason I let my mind blurt out what it didn't want anyone else to hear; that the baby wasn't Hodgin's. For a minute he looked confused then I watched as realization dawned over his boyish features. He is quite cute now that I think of it.

"What do you mean the baby isn't Hodgin's?"

Deciding that I should probably spell it out for him I sighed then began. I started with us moving to Paris, sleeping with him under the stars on our balcony, and having a really nice time. Then I went on to describe to him that it was only nice. Somehow by getting married and constantly living with each other we came to lack the spark that originally made us perfect for each other.

I described how, after about six months of living with Hodgin's, I went to the art supply store one morning. In detail I told him about how I bumped into Grayson, how his chest rippled with movement as he went to steady me, as Notre Domes bells rang as our eyes met again. I somehow managed to describe how I knew at that moment what I would do with the man and by the time I finished Sweets was giving me his Displeased Psychologist look.

I barely managed not to laugh lightly at the way his forehead wrinkled and then sighed again… and somehow made myself ask him what the best course of action would be and his only reaction was, at first, to let out a rather long breath. Then he wrote something down on his notepad and re-read notes he had been making from the start.

"The only thing I can tell you is to not let this information come out at the child's birth. As for the how and when to tell him… because you do need to tell him Angela is not an easy dissection. He needs to be the first to know; outside of me, and I would suggest you talk to him in private yet somewhere public, like a small coffee shop. I do not suggest going to the diner for that is, equitable to sacred ground I guess you could call it. Make it someplace neither of you visit often and tell him there."

Here he paused and I knew it was coming. The news that the sooner it was done the better it would be for the both of us and Sweets didn't let me down.

"I would suggest doing it as soon as possible; in fact I would do it as soon as you close this case."

I nodded in response feeling unnaturally jittery. I knew he was going to say that yet it still hit me hard. I nodded again and got up; I needed to leave. Now or else Sweets' office would be covered in puke. Now I had no other option but to tell Jack. But isn't that what I wanted?