Confessions with Doctor Sweets
Bugs and Slime?
Strictly speaking I'm the bugs and slime guy; incredibly smart but completely weird. Mentally speaking I'm the paranoid one; obsessed with conspiracies and government cover ups. Socially speaking I can pull it off- most of the time. I'm not completely squint free, as Booth would say, yet I do not fall completely in the range of social norms like Angela does. I'm an odd mixture. I think that's why Zack and I got along so well.
Speaking of Doctor Zack Addy, well mentally at least, he is the reason I now find myself occupying the couch of doom. Hope is what I mainly wish to regain by going through this deplorable process of mental probing. Really now, they call these mind freaks scientists? Please; don't get me started on what a soft science this is.
However, since I have found myself unable to sleep, this is the last straw for me. Sleeping pills are not an option… do you know what the government puts in those things? It is truly astonishing; however, getting back to the reason I am now trying to get comfortable on this ugly couch I find it hard to actually talk to the man sitting serenely across from me.
I guess it's because I was best friends with him. And the fact that he was led astray by conspiracy logic scares me. Had I caused Zack to be an easy target with my paranoid stories? Maybe it's because they expect me to have regained normalcy. To them it's been long enough to forget about Zack but I cannot bring myself to do that. He was my best friend after all.
"Now, why did you want to talk to me Dr. Hodgins?"
How do I even begin to answer that when I cannot narrow it down in my own head? So instead I settle on a sigh and snap at the rubber band that has regained its position on my wrist. Angela thought she cured me of my little nervous habit but that my friends was all Zack and now that he's gone I've started again.
With my focus totally devoted to the rubber band at my wrist I tried to tell Sweets about what I was feeling. How loosing Zack was still eating away at me, how all of Brennan's interns have made me that much more dead inside, how I was worried that my influence caused him to be lead astray, to be converted to the dark side so to speak.
He only nodded as I told him that I didn't even find bugs and slime interesting any more. And when he asked why I kept my happy mask up all of the time I just laughed, replied that I was married and was about to be a father to a baby girl, and asked what else could I do? I couldn't cry over the baby being a girl; at losing the chance to name my first born after my best friend. I couldn't cry at all because then Angela would be concerned and I was supposed to be the man. I was supposed to be strong in all situations.
Eyeing Sweets up I told him what I was going to name the pink worm, the ones that I thought were an undiscovered species, Angelus Montenegrous. Then laughed… it was a cold and uncaring sound, even to my own ears, but I needed to get it out. I only said that that's what I was planning on naming them because Angela was in the room. I really felt that Zacharius Addicus would have been a better suiting name.
Closing my eyes I chose to lean back against the couch as he asked another question. I didn't even know the answer to that one; whether or not I even wanted to be alive right now. Losing Zach changed me and I have no idea if that's a good thing or not. Or even if it's something I want to accept whatsoever. Though somewhere, deep inside of me, I knew that I wanted to live. Looking at him I answered that I did, but I just didn't know how.
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I would like to thank kutoki for adding Confessions with Doctor Sweets to their alert list and to kutoki and lizCSBones for adding it to their favorites list.
Reviews:
Kutoki: Hodgins is next!
It's Just Apple Pie: I completely agree and must say you read my mind. I read your review as I was planning out the next few chapters and just started laughing… hope you like the chapters!