Chapter 5

AN: Thank you for the reviews. I have the day off today, been out with family, so I just sneaked onto the site..., you're close LOL...although not quite a million hits!...

"Get dressed," she grumbled to Kevin for the fifth time that evening. He was supposed to be getting ready to go a double date with Morgan and Princess14, some woman from the meetyourmatch site. She'd arrived a half hour ago, and he hadn't even started getting ready. He was trying to finish some level of the game he was playing, and it was irritating the bejeezers out of her.

"Kevin!" she snapped again.

Kevin gave her an absentminded grunt and continued to blow the heads off of some rogue soldiers.

"Kevin Arnold Lynch, if you don't get up and get dressed like yesterday, we will be late, I will be embarrassed, and then you don't want to know what I will do to your GUI!"

He turned to look at her, his glasses askew from his concentration he'd had on his game, and then his eyes widened. "You serious?"

She was standing, her hands on her hips, glaring at him.

"Yes, ma'am!" he answered, jumping to his feet, before hustling as fast as his Lynchy legs could carry him to his bedroom.

She grinned. She still had it—the ability to make men jump to do her bidding.

"I don't understand why we are going with Morgan on a date anyhow," he whined from the other room. "It makes no sense. A guy like him wouldn't have any problems picking up chicks."

"He doesn't want a chick, Kevin," she said, glancing at her watch. "He wants a wife, and he wants our opinion on it."

"Ha!" he guffawed loudly, his voice a little muffled. She assumed he was pulling on the sweater she'd picked out. "Derek Morgan has never wanted my opinion in his life!"

That was completely true. Derek was not fond of Kevin. Rather, he tolerated him, and Kevin merely tolerated Derek, too.

"Well, he wants my opinion; you're coming along as moral support."

Kevin walked out of the bedroom. His maroon sweater and black turtleneck actually made him look quite dapper. He tugged at the collar. "I don't like this."

She came closer and kissed his cheek. "You look wonderful, dear. Please wear it? It's an upscale restaurant."

He sighed, and then smiled off kilter at her. "The things I'll do for love."

She laughed. "My hero. Come on. We need to go."

Tia's, a beautiful Italian restaurant on the other side of town, was not exactly hopping with people. It was a Thursday evening; Derek had posted his profile on Sunday with Penelope, and had over one hundred hits.

"Damn...there's a lot of women to sort through," he'd grumbled the next day to Penelope.

"With your picture and that profile, I'd expect that," she'd answered.

He'd snorted. "Seems like a lot of work."

"For a wife?" she'd asked, incredulously. "I don't think so..."

That had made him quiet.

He'd sorted out a bunch of women (One was Kitty Wagner!) and picked five that seemed suitable. He'd thought about calling Penelope to give him a hand, but wisely decided against it. P had helped him far more than her duty of friendship required her to.

So, that lead him to sitting with Alice Turner. Pretty, a dance instructor, very nice; she was good company so far. Lynch and Penelope were ten minutes late, so he got a chance to chat with her a little bit more than he'd originally planned. She seemed nice, kind of simple in nature, nothing too dramatic or glaring. She was friendly, and she loved children. Two major selling points.

"So, Alice," he said with a smile. "What is your average weekend like?"

"Not much," she replied, picking up her glass of wine and taking a sip. "I work, teaching the little ones, and then I try to get in some yoga. I love to do yoga. I am into nature and peace."

"That's great." He shrugged a little. "I wish I had a little more peace in my life. Working in law enforcement, you rarely get that sort of feeling."

Alice looked stricken. "You poor dear. We all need peace—it is as essential as air, water, and sunlight to our well being."

Derek laughed. "I'm lucky I get the air part on most days."

"Here," she said, reaching for his arm. "I know the perfect midday mediation for you. Close your eyes...do it, please...and relax. Let your facial features just lose all tension. Let your mouth drop open, your tongue become loose, thick, no stress...and deep breathe."

He was following what Alice said, breathing in, breathing out, and not really feeling much different. He must not have needed to relax.

He opened his eyes. "I don't—"

"Concentrate on relaxing, Derek," she murmured, her eyes closed, her mouth still open.

Although he thought it was silly, he tried again. He relaxed his face, his shoulders, let his mouth hang wide open—

"Hot Stuff, what are you doing?"

Derek snapped his mouth closed and looked up at Penelope and Lynch. Penelope looked amused, and Lynch looked confused.

"Relaxing," he answered, eyes twinkling. "What does it look like I was doing?"

She beamed at him. "I won't answer on grounds that it may incriminate me."

"See? Versed in law enforcement," he said, looking at Alice. "This is Penelope Garcia, my best friend, and her boyfriend, Kevin Lynch."

"I am so pleased to meet you," Alice said, sticking her hand out quickly to Penelope. She gave her a very hearty handshake and then stood and gave her a hug. "You are a wonderful person; I can tell by your aura!"

Derek stood also while Lynch pulled out Pen's chair. After they all sat, he glanced over at Penelope, who gave him an odd smile. He didn't quite like that smile; he could tell there was an issue-there was something she wasn't liking-but he'd figure it out later.

Oh well, he thought. Maybe it will get better as the night progressed?

"Shall we?" he asked hopefully, as he reached for his menu and opened it.

"I still can't believe that woman," Penelope mused to Kevin. "She was weird!"

"I thought she was very nice," he grumbled. For the entire seven minute walk to the car, and the fourteen minutes they'd been driving, Penelope had been mentioning the demerits of Alice.

Penelope rolled her eyes, although Kevin was driving and couldn't see her. "She was weird, Kevin. It started with that hug, and then all those mystical aura things—"

"She's into yoga," Kevin interrupted. "And she only mentioned it twice. Mine and yours."

"Three times, " she corrected. Penelope crossed her arms over her chest. "She said our auras didn't mix, too. What kind of thing is that to say? If there is such a thing, I am sure ours mix just fine, thank you very much."

Kevin sighed with a exasperated chuckle. "Penelope, she's a gorgeous airhead, who is probably very limber. Perfect for Derek Morgan." He looked over at her. "Let it be, okay?"

Her lips pinched into a thin line, and her head began to ache. The woman was a dipsy doodle. She had no idea about current events, looked completely lost when she asked about her teaching career, and stared off into space when anyone brought up something besides the weather. She could not let Derek end up with someone that flighty and unbalanced. He deserved better than that; he deserved someone smart...and limber and gorgeous. It would be against the code of best friendship if she let him marry some spaced out ditz.

"No, I'm sorry, but no," she answered flatly. "That dipstick and Derek do not mesh."

Kevin sighed again, louder this time. "I supposed that means I am going on another date with Morgan and one of his women."

She smiled at Kevin. "I hope you know I appreciate this, too."

"What will you give me for it?" he asked, a smirk on his face.

She lowered her lashes. "What would you like?"

"Oooh! Left for Dead 2!"

Penelope simply stared at him for a long moment, before sitting back in her seat and closing her eyes. "Consider it done."