It's Today again, would you believe it?
Good morning. And a foul morning it is. Rain streaking down like there's no tomorrow. Even though there is. I s'pose that makes rain a little stupid.
Anyway, today we will discuss the delights of company. I always like to have people over for tea. My compatriots are both loveable and entertaining. They are quite often entertaining even when they are trying to be solemn. It sparks hilarity in me. The March Hare! Solemn!
The March Hare, naturally, is a very funny person. Being a hare, he is strictly vegetarian, which he suddenly announced the other day over an energetic game of bridge. (The way we play bridge, as you might expect, has nothing to do with cards and everything to do with bridges.) We stopped. We stared.
"Goodness," said Alice, looking astonished as her small brain tried to work it out.
"I'll eat my hat," I said.
"But," said the Doormouse, lowering his voice to a hushed whisper, "doesn't that involve you having to follow…rules?"
"Indeed," said the Hare impressively, puffing out his chest.
We exchanged shocked glances. The Hare? Following rules? I mean, we knew it wasn't his best month, being July and not March, but he didn't have to go out of his way to be mad. We knew that already. Oh, what had the Hare done to himself? We said no more about the matter, but we are still very grieved.
The Doormouse I have already told you about, and there isn't a great deal of exciting things about him anyway. Alice, I suppose, is a very interesting girl. Simple minded, perhaps. Would a clever person fall down a hole and get lost? Alice did not have such a role in the turn of events leading up to Wonderland's civil war, as was alleged. We, the people of Wonderland, decided to revolt against the vile Queen. Successful we were, too- though I had my doubts of us ever replacing her. A King of Wonderland would not do, we decided. We've rather had enough of monarchy. No, we needed someone entirely different. And you can't get more difference than that between a Red Queen and a White Rabbit.
It was Alice who came up with the idea. That's really her whole story. No one really questioned her judgment, of course, even though she was a perfect stranger at the time. The thing was, nobody really had any other ideas other than the Dodo for President. And so when someone came up with a perfectly good and different solution, most of us agreed in a relieved sort of way. The Dodo was most disappointed, as one might expect, but he's been round for tea recently and he seems to be recovered. Alice was hailed as Ideas Person of the land, and she thanked us most kindly and asked us where the exit was. Since then, Alice and I have been firm friends. I advise her in most matters, and she advises me in most matters I don't understand. But that's what friends are for.
Any others I know are mostly acquaintances, rather than people one might share a game of bridge with. A formal cup of tea on a white tablecloth is friendly enough.
Tea is one of the MOST sociable things to drink, don't you know.