WOOT! I think this is one of my better pieces. Some MAJOR Joshley Action! So i know you'll enjoy it.

Before you begin reading: Did everyone hear about the major Paramore news? If not, i HATE to be the one to tell you. Josh and Zac are leaving the band! it's the most devastating thing i've heard in a while, and i assure you. I was bawling my eyes out when i found out. For more info on that, just go to the Paramore website. ( D: )

oookay. Here ya goo. Enjoy :)

Josh's POV

As shocked as I was to find out that Hayley had no feelings for me, it would never prepare me for what she told us all next.

Hayley stood before the front door of the mansion. Her hair pinned up in a bun on top of her head, her outgrown bangs covered her green eyes. She wore a coat and some jeans, because of course, here in Chicago it was snowing like crazy.

She'd called us all awake, now the four of us guys stood there, half awake and still in our pajamas. Taylor didn't even bother to put any pants on.

"Nice boxers, T." Hayley said, noticing.

He yawned, still not fully awake. "Thanks."

I crossed my arms over my chest and stared her down. Waiting for her to break whatever news she had to tell us. She cleared her throat and began.

"Okay, so guys, I've been thinking and I miss home…a lot."

She waited for one of us to say something. No one did. She continued.

"I thought maybe I could go home for Christmas, ya know. To Franklin."

Silence again.

"I found out my house was still on the market. So…" she paused.

I prayed and hoped she wasn't about to say what I thought she was going to say. "I bought it back."

I didn't pray hard enough.

I was the first to speak after she pretty much told us she was leaving.

"So you decided to move back to Franklin, without even telling us?" I asked, trying to keep my tone low and not sound so angry. But I couldn't help it. I was angry. We had decided three months ago that we were going to live together as a band, here in Chicago. We got a great deal on this amazing house and we loved living mutually, at least I did. I couldn't understand why all of sudden she just wanted to leave.

"I'm telling you now." She said, her fingers clasped together so hard they were turning red.

"Yeah, but you had already decided. What's gonna happen to the band?" I asked, jumping to conclusions. I don't know why I wanted to put her on the spot. I guess I wanted to know if she truly had thought this through.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a second, Josh! We'll still be a band. I never said we were gonna split."

"You didn't have to. You moving away is gonna put a damper on our music. I would think you'd already know that." I said angrily.

"I can come visit." She said, like that would help everything. "I just wanna be closer to my family. My mom lives near Franklin and I haven't seen my sisters in forever." Her voice cracked. I could tell she was getting emotional thinking about her family. They lived eight and half hours away. That must be hard. Maybe because I have a brother living under the same roof as me, I can't really grasp the feeling.

"I still don't understand why you couldn't ask us first."

"Well, for one thing, you'd say no, Josh." She said, anger filling up her voice as well. Her cheeks grew bright red.

I took a step closer. "What makes you say that?"

"Well just look at you! You're freaking out over something that's not that big of a deal. We've lived apart before. And because you've become so goddamn attached to me. It's sickening, really. I need my space!"

I felt like I'd literally just been punched in the stomach. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak. Those words. They made it way too clear, her feelings for me were no more than friendly. Maybe even less now.

"I'm not attached to you." I whispered, in a voice that was barely perceptible. And with that, I shoved Hayley aside and opened the front door to walk out. I could hear Hayley apologizing to the rest of the guys and telling them to go back to bed as I slammed the door behind me.

I felt like a child. A little kid. A coward. I was doing everything wrong. I'd just completely messed up my relationship with the woman I was madly in love with, I'd made a fool of myself in front of my band mates. I was stupid. An idiot.

I ran my hands over my face; the cold air pinched my bare skin. The tips of my pajama bottoms began to grow wet and cold as I stepped over the fresh snow. I ran my fingers through my brown hair and began to shiver in the cold. I thought about sitting down and letting myself freeze to death.

The front door opened and out stepped Hayley. I couldn't look at her. I felt too bad. She hated me, I knew it. I didn't want to speak to her at all. I turned around, my back facing her. I could hear her footsteps on the snowy slush making their way over to me. I crossed my arms and let out a deep breath.

"What?" I asked, crossly.

"Sorry if I hurt you." She whispered. A breeze came by and it whistled in my ears, I could feel my nose starting to freeze.

Hayley tried to put a hand on my shoulder but I shoved it away. I didn't want to be comforted. She didn't love me. What was the point?

Hayley scowled. "What's your problem?"

I refused to answer her.

"Oh so now you're giving me the silent treatment?" Hayley asked, reading my mind. I hugged my body for this shirt was thin and wind blew hard. I considered hopping in my car and taking off just so I could get away from all of this.

"Jossshh." Hayley drawled. "I'm sorry, alright?"

Finally I found the strength to look her in the eyes. I turned around and stared at her. Her nose now a purple color, her lips the same. Her eyes had tears in them, for the cold wind had come by and blew right in her face. Her orange-red hair was still pinned up, but strands of it wavered in the wind. I resisted the urge to lean in and kiss her right then and there. She seemed so innocent when I looked at her now. Not like a couple of minutes ago when she virtually beat me up inside.

"Please say something." She pleaded.

I sighed and dropped my arms down to my sides. "You hurt me."

"I said I was sorry!" she exclaimed, her right foot stomping down on the snowy slush.

"Want some cheese to go with that whine?" I asked her.

"Shut-up, Josh. Talk to me."

"I can't shut-up and talk to you at the same time, it's impossible."

A smile tugged at her lips, "You know what I mean."

I crossed my arms again. "I don't want you to leave." I told her.

"Josh. I'm gonna visit. I'm only eight hours away."

"Only eight hours away? Jesus, Hayley. We'll never see you."

"That's not true." She objected. "It's only a matter of time before we're gonna wanna put together another album. I'll come back and stay at the house. It'll be legit."

"Whatever. I'll still miss you while you're gone."

Hayley's face softened as I told her this. I'm not sure, but it seemed like it was finally getting through to her. Things were going to change without Hayley around. And she was realizing it, thank God.

"Josh…" she said again. "I…"

For a second I thought maybe, just maybe, she might change her mind. For me. For us. For the band.

"Josh I'm sorry." She said.

I searched her eyes for some kind of lie. Some kind of hope that she might be staying. She couldn't just leave us here. could she?

"Whatever. I don't even care anymore." I huffed as I began to walk past her.

"Josh! Wait! Wait!" she screamed after me. Her high-pitched shrill made me want to collapse. She grabbed me by the arm and spun me around.

"What is wrong? Why are you acting like this! Can't you just accept that I miss home and let me go?" she said this frantically, swiping her bangs off of her face. The wind blew so hard I could barely hear her screaming at me. A breeze pulled tears from her eyes as they trailed in slanted lines down her cheeks.

"Because!" I shouted, like that was some kind of answer.

"Because why?"

I took a deep breath; cold air filled my throat and lungs.

"Because I love you, alright? Is that what you wanted to hear? I love way you smile, I love the way you say my name, I love your voice when you sing, I love the way you dance. I love the way you laugh, I think it's adorable. I think you're the most amazing thing alive and I want you to be mine. Like, really mine. I don't want you to leave because I'm afraid you'll slip away from me; and you're already so close."

Hayley's mouth formed an "O" as she stood in front of me in shock. She covered her mouth with her hand. Her unzipped coat now blew in the wind. Her eyebrows furrowed as more tears slipped from her eyes.

"Why are you making this so hard?" she murmured.

I moved in closer to her, tilted my head down to look at her. I removed her hand from her mouth. At this point I felt like I wasn't controlling myself. Someone else, someone more laudable than I.

"I don't think you understand, Hayles." I said.

I couldn't resist. I couldn't restrain myself any longer. I leaned my head towards her and pressed my lips to her own. Her body was surprisingly warm and so was mine as the kiss intensified. She finally found it in her to kiss back. I ran my tongue gently along her bottom lip as she opened up her mouth to me. I ran my hand down her sides and gripped her waist. Her hands grasped my forearms. Her body shivered and I could feel the goose bumps on her skin through her t-shirt. I felt as if I was floating. Is if I were maybe, dreaming. As if this weren't really happening. We had just had an argument and now here we were, tongue wrestling in the middle of our front yard.

She tasted sweet like candy and I didn't want to let go. But I knew if we were both going to breath at all we had to come up for air.

As we departed, I searched Hayley's expression. I was almost afraid of what she would say. More and more tears fell from her eyes and I didn't have any idea why. Her lips were now a rich cherry red and slippery. I ran the tip of my thumb along her bottom lip and pressed my forehead to hers.

"What's wrong?" I asked in a whisper.

She just shook her head.

"What?" I asked again.

She pulled away from my grasp, shaking her head over and over and over again.

"This can't happen." She said, her voice wavering.

"Hayley…" I tried to stop her but she wouldn't let me.

"This can't happen, Josh. We promised. You promised."

I wanted to ask why. She obviously enjoyed the kiss. If she didn't she would have stopped it. I wanted her to love me just as much as I loved her. I hated the way she was reacting to it. Trying to pretend it didn't happen. Trying to run away.

"Hayley, c'mon!" I yelled out to her but it was too late. She had already gone back inside the house. And away from this conversation forever.

Review! Since it's winter break, i'll have a lot more time to update. new chapter coming soon!