*Here's the next complaint. Caleb plans to wound Tyrande Whisperwind's already shaky reputation. What will he say now? Read and find out…*
The Complaint about Ms. Tyrande Whisperwind
Caleb decided to hold his next speech on the banks of Darkshore. Holding it in Darnassus would be too risky since the High Priestess had been warned of his recent escapades. The young man was now standing on a hastily built stage facing the shore, along with dozens of people sitting close to the stage, murmuring things that Caleb deemed of no importance to him. They were mainly night elves, but some humans and draenei were also present. He noticed that it was nearly dawn, giving Caleb the perfect atmosphere for his speech. Having gathered everyone's attention towards the podium, he began his complaint.
"If ever I had a tough speech to give, this is it. My challenge is to convince you that Ms. Tyrande Whisperwind is urging us to follow her down the rabbit hole or through the looking glass into a wonderland of elitism. So let's begin, quite properly, with a brief look at the historical development of the problem, of its attempted solutions, and of the eternal argument about it. She spouts the same bile in everything she speaks of, making only slight modifications to suit the issue at hand. The issue Ms. Whisperwind is excited about this week is obscurantism, which says to me that she is always prating about how cultural tradition has never contributed a single thing to the advancement of knowledge or understanding. (She used to say that the only way to expand one's mind is with drugs—or maybe even chocolate—but the evidence is too contrary so she's given up on that score.)
Ms. Whisperwind wants to prohibit any discussion of her attempts to make a big deal out of nothing. While it is clear why she wants that to be a taboo subject, I should note that one truism with profound implications is that Ms. Whisperwind's detractors are correct in their observation that only Ms. Whisperwind can praise an institution that is as despicable and rummy as she herself. Now that's a strong conclusion to draw just from the evidence I've presented in this speech so let me corroborate it by saying that Ms. Whisperwind is addicted to the feeling of power, to the idea of controlling people. Sadly, she has no real concern for the welfare or the destiny of the people she desires to lead. You can sum up Ms. Whisperwind's proposed social programs in one word: venal. While this nation still has far to go before people are truly judged on the content of their character, Ms. Whisperwind insists that she knows 100% of everything 100% of the time. How can she be so blind? Very easily. Basically, Ms. Whisperwind claims that a richly evocative description of a problem automatically implies the correct solution to that problem. Well, I beg to differ."
Caleb paused to sip at his ale he kept in a pouch. The audience was listening intently and they were buying what he said. A good sign, Caleb supposed. Finishing his ale, he continued.
"I've managed to come up with a way in which Ms. Whisperwind's philosophy could be made useful. Her mode of thought could be used by the instructors of school subjects as a final examination of sorts. Any student who can't find at least twenty errors of fact or fatuous statement automatically flunks. Extra credit goes to students who realize that it's Ms. Whisperwind's deep-seated belief that there won't be any blowback from her converting lush forests into arid deserts. Sure, she might be able to justify conclusions like that—using biased or one-sided information, of course—but I prefer to know the whole story. In this case, the whole story is that we are observing the change in our society's philosophy and values from freedom and justice to corruption, decay, cynicism, and injustice. All of these "values" are artistically incorporated in one person: Tyrande Whisperwind.
We've all heard Ms. Whisperwind yammer and whine about how she's being scapegoated again, the poor dear. I'm not particularly old, but I do remember a time when honesty, decency, and respect for others were the norm. Nowadays, thanks to Ms. Whisperwind's blinkered equivocations, people everywhere live in fear that childish manipulators of the public mind will paralyze needed efforts to transform our culture of war and violence into a culture of peace and nonviolence. Even worse, many people are being prevented from knowing that if you were to try to tell Ms. Whisperwind's winged monkeys that it would be hard to find anyone who doesn't agree that her stances represent the most crazy form of moral turpitude conceivable, they'd close their eyes and put their hands over their ears. They are, as the Mages of Dalaran say, in denial. They don't want to hear that Ms. Whisperwind has been trying to popularize the narrative that it is her moral imperative to transform our whole society to suit her own shrewish interests. My fear is that if she's successful at promoting such cockamamy notions then even the man on the Northrend omnibus may agree to let her put increased disruptive powers in the hands of counterproductive rakes.
Notice the sneaky tendency of Ms. Whisperwind's histrionics. Ms. Whisperwind's vituperations are based on two fundamental errors. They assume that creatures not of Azeroth are out to lay eggs in our innards or ooze their foreign hell-slime all over us and they promote the mistaken idea that snooty slubberdegullions are all inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. Though insolent misoneism is not discussed in this speech, much of what I've spoken applies to that, as well. If, today, the urge of Ms. Whisperwind's war-soul can prompt her to carve out space in the mainstream for untoward politics, then imagine, if you can, how that same soul will express itself through the thousandfold-more-venom-spouting Ms. Whisperwind of tomorrow. Some will say I exaggerate, but actually I'm being quite lenient. I didn't mention, for example, that even if one is opposed to detestable alcoholism (as I, for one, am) then, surely, we are at war. Don't think we're not just because you're not stepping over dead bodies in the streets. We're at war with Ms. Whisperwind's politically incorrect revenge fantasies. We're at war with her passive-aggressive conclusions. And we're at war with her ungrateful jokes. As in any war, we ought to be aware of the fact that Ms. Whisperwind's vassals claim to have no choice but to incite pogroms, purges, and other mayhem. I wish there were some way to help these miserable, demonic phonies. They are outcasts, lost in a world they didn't make and don't understand."
Caleb paused for breath while his audience looked on. He noticed the sun was now rising above the horizon. He thus continued.
"Let me mention again that in a rather infamous speech, Ms. Whisperwind exclaimed that she can scare us by using big words like "transubstantiatively". (I edited out the rest of what she said because, well, it didn't really say anything.) I want to give people more information about Ms. Whisperwind, help them digest and assimilate and understand that information, and help them draw responsible conclusions from it. Here's one conclusion I unequivocally hope people draw: Ms. Whisperwind's stooges don't represent an ideology. They don't represent a legitimate political group of people. They're just flat lazy.
Ms. Whisperwind maintains that lying is morally justifiable as long as it's referred to as "strategic deception". Perhaps it would be best for her to awaken from her delusional, narcoleptic fantasyland and observe that the gloss that her bedfellows put on her musings unfortunately does little to expose injustice and puncture prejudice. Before I continue, let me state that she is like a pigeon. Pigeons are too self-absorbed to care about anyone else. They poo on people they don't like; they poo on people they don't even know. The only real difference between Ms. Whisperwind and a pigeon is that Ms. Whisperwind intends to abandon the idea of universal principles and focus illegitimately on the particular. That's why Ms. Whisperwind must think that the world has no memory. I could speak for hours on the subject, but the following should suffice. I once told Ms. Whisperwind that I can say with absolute certitude that she has no real regard for other people's rights, privacy, or sanity. How did she respond to that? She proceeded to curse me off using a number of colorful expletives not befitting this speech, which serves only to show that wherever you look, you'll see Ms. Whisperwind enforcing intolerance in the name of tolerance. You'll see her suppressing freedom in the name of freedom. And you'll see her crushing diversity of opinion in the name of diversity."
He pauses again, for dramatic effect this time. He basked in the warmth of the sun and looked on with glee as it shown off his audience. He continued.
"Come on, Ms. Whisperwind; I know you're capable of thoughtful social behavior. The central paradox of her credos, the twist that makes her speeches so irresistible to shallow undesirables, is that these people truly believe that the bogeyman is going to get us if we don't agree to her demands. The plague of recidivism took control of our nation's political life long ago. Now, thanks to Ms. Whisperwind's diatribes, that plague will continue to spread until no one can recall that Ms. Whisperwind seeks scapegoats for her own shortcomings by blaming the easiest target she can find, that is, inconsiderate radicals.
You can waste all your time arguing about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. Or you can actually make the world safe for democracy. You decide."
Here, he paused again and considered what he would say for a moment. Hence, he continued.
"Please note that when I finish this speech you might not hear from me again for a while. I simply don't have enough strength left to show Ms. Whisperwind how she is as wrong as wrong can be. Nevertheless, my concern is with morality itself, not with the teleological foundations upon which it rests. It's that simple. I want to live my life as I see fit. I can't do that while Ms. Whisperwind still has the ability to substitute pap for art. Let me conclude by stating that it would obviously be speaking within compass to say that Ms. Tyrande Whisperwind has an implacable determination to satisfy her own ambitions and lusts at whatever cost to her cult followers, her nation, and even to her own progeny. You can quote me on that."
With a swift flick of his wrist, he disappeared once more, leaving his audience to their own thoughts and to the glory of the sun.
*The title of this one was too long so I had to cut it down. Anyway, review and tell me what you think.*