[As promised, the song which inspired the previous chapter was Take Me To Your Heart by MLTR.
Anyway, here's the other chapter.]
Jane lowered himself into his chair in the CBI attic and took a sip of steaming tea from the cup he was holding. It was late at night and everyone had left the office, even Lisbon. Jane looked out the window and stared at the moon hanging in the night sky.
Why does the moon look so blue? Or am I the one who is feeling blue? wondered Jane.
Lowering his gaze, Jane stared ahead as his thoughts turned towards her. Jane realized that lately, when he was left alone with nothing much to occupy himself, his thoughts inevitably turned to her. After the tragic incident and his release from the institute, he didn't have any hopes or dreams. He didn't dare have any. His daily life had just been an act while all this while inside, he had been trying to dull an inner screaming which could get painfully loud sometimes. At times like these, he just needed to think about her and he would somehow manage to stay afloat instead of spiralling down into depression. Lisbon has managed to do that, even if it was unintentional on her part.
Setting his cup on a nearby table, Jane placed his hands on his knees and exhaled loudly. The path he had chosen usually leaded him on a treacherous journey but he had no doubt he had Lisbon to back him up. At the most vulnerable of times, Jane seemed to be able to see Lisbon's face everywhere. His heart had once turned stone cold and yet, it was the little things about Lisbon that was slowly but surely melting it. In his mind, Jane had so often seen Lisbon reaching out her hand and guiding him home. Now, Jane felt like he could be in love again.
Lisbon had managed to take hold of Jane's heart in the most nonintrusive way, when his whole world had been grey. The unconditional care and concern Lisbon had shown Jane, even when he drove her up the wall, was above everything he could have asked for. In the cold of the night, Jane would sometimes just imagine Lisbon's sleeping form by his side. Unknowingly, Lisbon had become the meaning of his life. He could no longer live without her.
The world could be as cold as the nights he encountered but Jane was sure Lisbon was the spark which could warm his soul. His heart had been broken when his wife and daughter were murdered and he didn't think it would ever mend. He didn't deserve it to be mended in the first place because it was his arrogance that led to their untimely demise. And yet, Lisbon had picked up the pieces and put them back together, giving Jane a brand new start in his life. Even if Lisbon disregarded her feelings, Jane is now sure he is in love with her.
Closing his eyes with a sigh, Jane crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in his chair. If Lisbon would agree to hold his hand, he wouldn't have to fear what tomorrow would bring. If she agreed to stand by his side, he, Patrick Jane would never have to be alone.
[Hope you've liked my chapters.
As for the title of the song inspiring the above chapter, it's yawA traeH yM kooT uoY (spell each word backwards and read from right to left) by the same band.]