… *drops chapter on ground and skips off into the sunset epically*
Saturday, September 4
6:00 AM
This is earlier than I usually like to wake up on Saturdays… or ever.
6:02 AM
Wait... haven't I mentioned before how being out and about before 8 AM should be illegal?
So why am I awake right now? UGH.
6:05 AM
Have I mentioned before how much I hate people sometimes?
They're all so bloody annoying. Pricks. Twits. Prats.
I mean, if I ask "what's wrong", then it's only because I'm trying to appear somewhat decent and likeable. It's universally known that, when an acquaintance asks you "what's wrong" when you're down, you're supposed to just say "Oh, it's nothing. I'm fine".
Why? Because nobody really cares about someone else's problems. People have problems of their own to deal with.
Obviously, Romilda Vane is too thick to realize this. That—or all of those charms she uses to try to cover up her nasty acne are beginning to mess with her brain.
6:07 AM
Oh, look at her go. I can't even make myself feel bad for that last comment.
She's just babbling away about something involving a headband, a pencil sharpener, and pig dung.
She doesn't even realize that I'm not interested in what she has to tell me.
6:10 AM
I reeeally want to get up and walk away.
All of my muscles are tingling with anticipation of doing just that.
But… I … can't.
Curse me and my kind, caring nature.
6:11 AM
I haven't even looked up from my notebook this whole time.
6:12 AM
Oh no… what if she thinks that I'm taking notes like a shrink?
She's going to tell all of her friends that I'm studying to become some sort of therapist… and then all of them are going to come rushing at me with their pathetic problems!
Maybe I should show her that I'm really not taking notes.
Hmmm… time to tilt the notebook towards her and draw a picture of a cat.
6:15 AM
She didn't even look over at my lovely stick-cat. I even made it dance.
6:17 AM
It feels like it's been YEARS since I first sat down here. Is my bum going numb? Nope. I just poked it. Definitely felt that.
I hope she doesn't think I'm fondling myself in front of her. That'd make this ten times more awkward than it already is.
6:23 AM
I wonder what she's saying. I would listen to her, but that would actually take effort.
Besides, there are some things that one can't un-hear. Who knows what she's whining about?
I certainly don't.
6:26 AM
I named the stick-cat Polly and drew Romilda asking if "Polly wants a cracker".
I dunno why I put that down. I heard someone say that one time. Apparently, if an animal is named Polly, then they develop a fetish for crackers.
6:28 AM
Polly now has a stick-frog friend named Benny and a stick-Phoenix friend named Hanson.
I'm running out of stick animals to draw.
And the Phoenix doesn't look very Phoenix-like.
6:35 AM
Sheesh, this girl can talk.
And this page that I drew the cat on is slowly turning into a crudely-drawn comic book thing of some sort.
6:43 AM
Oh no! Stick Polly and pals are being tortured by the evil Romilda! She got angered that Polly wouldn't accept her poisoned cracker and is now going to talk to them until their ears fall off!
6:55 AM
Luckily, quick-thinking Polly attacked Romilda with its magical spit, revealing her repulsive acne. She then dissolved into a pool of her own shame.
6:56 AM
… oh bloody hell, she's still talking. I heard something about Mars and bacon grease. I believe that, if I were to actually listen to her, I'd befall the same fate that Polly and pals almost … befell…
6:57 AM
Oh bugger… that's been her plan all along! She's trying to talk to me until my ears fall off!
She's just jealous of my clear complexion and not-crooked ears!
6:58 AM
!
7:07 AM
I'm now sitting in the common room, feeling a little guilty.
I had jumped up, yelled "I know your plan, missy" and then threatened her that, if she ever tried to take my ears off of my head again, I'd use Polly's magical spit to reveal her horrible complexion. Then I had run towards the common room, covering my ears and singing "la la la" the whole time.
… I do believe that I maybe overreacted a bit…
I tend to do that sometimes.
7:14 AM
Hmmm… I'm hungry.
7:36 AM
Luna just laughed so hard that her pumpkin juice spewed out of her nose.
I'm actually a bit jealous.
I've tried to do that so many times. It never works for me.
My throat and tongue have this automatic reflex thing going on where I always swallow the drink before I can get even a chuckle out.
It's rather infuriating.
7:48 AM
Just got a random letter from Mum. I'm not really in the mood to read it though. I'll just skim it.
She's warning me to be nice to… blah blah blah… because they're new to… yadda yadda yadda… and she'll be absolutely livid with me if I … etc. etc. etc…
Boring. Absolutely boring.
7:52 AM
Oh bugger. Time to duck underneath the table.
I see Malfoy.
8:03 AM
I keep asking Luna if she thinks he saw me, but she keeps spouting some nonsense about Warksp—somethings … and how they're making me act all funny.
There are times in which I find her weirdness endearing, as I think I've mentioned before.
Now is not one of those times.
8:12 AM
It's actually rather nice under here. The roar of the cafeteria is… less of a roar. Oh, and Random-Ravenclaw-Girl-person has some really cute shoes on today.
I also found a galleon! It has some unidentified gunk on it, but I still want it.
Maybe I'll just use a napkin to wrap it up with.
8:16 AM
Luna's trying to get me to come out from underneath the table. She doesn't understand that 'D'… err… Malfoy could find me at any second.
And I just can't handle that nonsense at the moment.
I also happen to like hiding like a coward. It's just something else that I can use to figuratively rub in the Sorting Hat's face for placing me in the wrong house.
I honestly have none of the Gryffindor-like traits whatsoever.
Sometimes I fear that I'm actually a Slytherin at heart (or worse … a bloody Hufflepuff).
8:18 AM
What is that girl doing with her foot on that guy's lap? Aww that's sweet. He's a caring boyfriend. He's even putting up with her annoying foot spasms.
And two guys are secretly holding hands over at the Gryffindor table. Oh, it's just Dean and Seamus. Totally normal.
… ugh… This is just like some giant blob of cutesy sweetness. It makes me feel like throwing up.
Or maybe that's because I'm sitting in something wet and gooey, and the underside of the table kind of smells of feet…
8:24 AM
What the… there's another person under the table, too.
They appear to be sleeping though.
Sheesh, at least I have a good excuse to be under here. That's just pathetic right there.
8:30 AM
Luna's so infuriating. She won't stop talking to me.
Earth to Luna: you can't talk to a person when they're in hiding. That either gives their location away or makes you look crazy.
Wait.
Luna talking to herself probably looks normal to everyone else...
8:40 AM
My legs are falling asleep. Not just one of them, like what usually happens, but both of them. When does that ever happen?
Oh bother. Someone passed gas. I don't think I can stay down here for much longer. Hopefully Malfoy leaves the Great Hall sometime soon.
8:41 AM
I've been down here for ages! I need to get out of here before I suffocate or die of boredom. I'm not sure which one would be worse.
I'm just going to stand up. He wouldn't still be here anyways. He has better things to do than sit in the Great Hall all day long.
8:54 AM
So…
I ran away again.
I had awkwardly wiggled out from under the table, using only upper body strength due to my sleeping legs.
Being me, I had of course ended up sprawled out on the floor with my bum in the air. This bared my knickers to the world. Sod it all…
Malfoy had then chosen that moment to walk over to me and say some snide comment that I didn't really hear. But I know it was snarky and snide. He's Malfoy. He's fluent in … Snark.
I then proceeded to do what I just mentioned. I ran out of there as quickly as possible (Which wasn't very quick, mind you—my legs were still all tingly and not responding as well as I'd have liked for them to).
I really shouldn't have been sorted into Gryffindor. The Sorting Hat was on crack that night.
9:01 AM
I can't stop thinking about how people saw my knickers. I'm angry at myself for not wearing more attractive underwear. NOT that I care about looking good in Malfoy's eyes or anything.
It's just that my knickers are horrible. They're too large for my bum (shockingly) and aren't flattering to my figure in any way. My bras are fine. They tend to make my annoyingly large girls look rather appealing, I'm not afraid to admit.
BUT, my downstairs knickers are horrifying. They go above my belly button! When putting them on, I usually shield my eyes.
According to Mum, "I shouldn't be worrying about what my knickers look like at MY age. Nobody else is going to see them". Well, Mum. What do you have to say about that NOW?
9:10 AM
I just remembered that Slughorn assigned us a giant essay. He never likes my essays. He says that I ramble about nonsense too often.
I don't know where he even gets such an accusation. I don't ramble. I ponder.
Anyways… to the library!
9:28 AM
Just passed by the Golden Trio. They were talking about possible ways to defeat Voldemort—not very quietly, might I add—so I simply provided my input.
I told them that they should try to read him a couple of short stories. I mean… the reason he's in a tiff with the world is because he can't soothe himself with any type of literature, due to his eye condition.
Why do people always look at me as if I'm tap dancing on feet that just grew out of my head?
9:48 AM
Bloodroot? Why are all potions' ingredients so… morbid?
9:56 AM
Sparkling cat fesces? Why must they have to sparkle? How on earth does Slughorn not expect me to ask him these questions in essay-form?
9:59 AM
I mean… seriously. I've seen cat poo before. Its freshness made it shiny, yes… but not sparkly.
10:10 AM
Hmmm… that was weird. I just saw a flash of red hair over by the books, but… Ron's allergic to books.
Oh, and he's still plotting Voldemort's demise with his other halves.
That wouldn't be possible, actually. You can't have three halves. Calling them his other thirds sounds bloody stupid, though.
10:12 AM
There it was again! Nobody else in this school has hair as vividly reddish-orange as the Weasleys. My mind is just playing tricks on me because it's bored.
10:18 AM
That's funny. I thought I just saw my cousin JP chewing on a book.
That's impossible, though. (Eh, not the book chewing. He tends to do that when he's reading and gets hungry.)
… He goes to Durmstrang, though. Both him and my cousin Bertha.
That's why we only have to put up with them once a year. They live too far away.
My mind IS playing tricks on me. Maybe this essay has been written enough.
10:20 AM
Oh sod it all. I spilled ink on my essay!
I have to start over!
12:12 PM
Well, paper's finished. And this time, with no ink spill.
12:30 PM
Gah. That essay was more stressful than it needed to be...
12:31 PM
Hmmm… it seems as if my right hand has decided to turn a purple color.
…That shouldn't be normal.
12:32 PM
It's spreading up my arm. It's makig it hrdr fr me to writ
5:30 PM
Whoa. I passed out.
Luckily I had my book open. So, hopefully people didn't think I was napping. Maybe they'll assume I'm very near-sighted.
5:31 PM
I should probably go to Madame Pomfrey.
…Nah.
5:39 PM
Luna wants to show me some creature that I know doesn't exist. I'm going to humor her anyways…
6:02 PM
She couldn't find whatever it was she was looking for, but that was the least of our worries.
The entire time, we were being stalked by some man from a painting. He kept hopping from painting to painting, trying to ask us questions about our personal lives.
We eventually lost him when he entered a painting full of irate werewolves, but something tells me he'll figure out a way to show his ugly face again.
6:07 PM
Luna keeps ranting about the creature she was trying to show me. She doesn't understand that I have more important things to worry about than her fantasy world.
6:08 PM
Hmmm… maybe Luna really does live in a different world than the rest of us.
I mean, if Madame Pince can somehow find knickers that fit around her over-sized bum, than anything is possible, really.
6:09 PM
I actually don't have any room to talk when it comes to large knickers. Maybe she steals mine.
Lord knows my knickers can comfortably house an army of men.
6:10 PM
Good Lord, if Ron found out that I was even thinking about men being anywhere near my knickers, he'd hex a chastidy belt onto me faster than I could say bumalumdiddydum.
6:16 PM
Oh dear… I've just realized that Hogsmeade Weekend is coming up sometime soon.
Not that this Hogsmeade weekend will be any different than the rest, though.
Nothing special going on then at all.
6:20 PM
This feels like it's been the longest day on the face of the planet.
Stupid school. Warping my perception of the world around me.
8:30 PM
Madame Pince somehow managed to guilt me into helping her out. I think I just felt awful for all of the times I'd made fun of her bum-problem.
Once again, I really don't have any room to talk.
8:45 PM
Isn't it too late to be forcing students to run errands for you? This should be considered child abuse or something. Madame Pince should be strung up by her knickers and pelted with humus (or whatever it is people pelt the unlikeable with).
9:05 PM
She wants her desk rearranged.
Lazy woman. Why make me arrange it? If she organized her own bloody desk, she'd know where everything is.
It just makes more sense.
9:13 PM
Madame Pince is throwing a fit because I adamantly refuse to organize her pencils. She has exactly 23 pencils on her desk.
I'm not touching them.
9:35 PM
Ah, Professor Binns, I love you.
He investigated the so-called ruckus that Madame Pince and I were making out of sheer curiosity. After a few minutes, he then convinced Madame Pince that it was getting late and that I should be getting to sleep anyways.
Ah… I should make him a nice pie for Christmas or something—err… Mum should bake him one.
I can't bake to save my life. Me baking treats for someone is the equivalent of someone leaving a bag of burning dung on someone's front porch.
9:44 PM
That's kind of perfect, actually.
It's such a kind gesture that it'd be hard to find malice in it.
Oh, McGonagall, you really shouldn't have ever decided to get on my bad side.
10:02 PM
I just fell asleep for a few minutes and drooled a bit on you, diary. Sorry.
It's definitely time to go to bed and end this unbelievably long day.
10:13 PM
Just read that letter that Mum sent to me because it fell out of my pocket.
Oh bloody hell. My cousins are attending Hogwarts due to some financial issues or something.
What'd they do... eat their money?
10:14 PM
That was mean. I guess I'm just a bit loopy.
And a bit angry. Hogwarts is my own personal domain.
And I'm only supposed to be forced to mingle with said cousins once a year. It's an arrangement that works in everyone's favor. They just had to go and ruin that for everyone also.
Selfish cousins.
10:17 PM
"Be nice to your cousins, Ginevra, or else you'll be in severe trouble when you get home, and your father and I will find a way to embarrass you. Mark my words. Oh, and I love you, sweetie!"
Pffft. Mums…
So unbelievably annoying, yet also so unbelievably frightening.
I'll tolerate my cousins. I'll tolerate 'em, but I won't be nice to 'em. They're infuriating.
I'm always about 3 seconds away from hexing them.
The fact that I have yet to actually hex them is the nicest thing I could ever do.
10:23 PM
Wow.
I feel like a wimp.
I'm about ready to pass out and it's barely 10:30.
I just
My eyes keep
drooping
And I can't
*ends chapter in weird spot*
*runs away*