Author's Note: While the first two stories focused on Shinichi and Heiji, this one is an attempt to show case self-discovery. When confronted with things we don't want to face, we sometimes realize things about ourselves that we may typically over look. Sometimes a situation forces us to see the wickedness of our ways, causing us to be humbled when we realize we're only human. Kazuha as a character was difficult to write for, her brash and selfish nature was hard to emulate. I hope that this story will live up to everyone's expectations, and I hope you can feel how Kazuha feels as well.

Shock and anger, were the two emotions raging through Kazuha at this point. She shook with the rage and cried with the shock of it all, as she sat staring at Heiji and Shinichi. She jumped up looking down at them, Heiji's mouth was moving but she couldn't hear the words. She grabbed up her things, and said something, but it was only stock and store as she left Heiji's home.

She ran for a good mile or so before she wore herself out enough to negate these conflicting emotions. She panted as she walked, her tears long dried, the scenery she often loved was distasteful now. She could still taste the soreness in her throat when she ended up swallowing the wrong way. It was all Heiji's fault too, she stopped and looked down at her feet. Staring at the slip-on's she was wearing, the memory behind them was a sour one at this point.

She shook with the memories of Heiji and her, the times she mistook his outward kindness for affection. The affection she desperately wanted from him was not that of a potential lover but of a good friend. For the most part she was angry at him, and embarrassed with herself. She could recount enough times she'd flush and got flustered with his smile and charm. How fast her heart would race at hearing him call her name.

She finally got half a mind to walk, as she glanced and saw a shop window, and looked at it. She looked beyond the shops inventory, and focused on her reflection. For the first time, she felt inadequate as she compared herself to Kudo, he was smart, kind hearted, and made Heiji happy in a way she never could. She took in a ragged breath closing her eyes to compose herself, she wanted to cry again but not in public.

She turned away from the window, she could hardly stand the sight of her own reflection. She walked, in no particular direction as she began to clear her head. The clearer her mind became the more she began to understand how foolish she'd been. She recalled them, times when she thought Heiji might like her in a similar fashion that she liked him. It was then she realized, those times could easily be take in many ways not just one.

She was so set on believing that Heiji had feelings for her, that she was convinced these friendly gestures had hidden meaning. She was so blinded by her own love, that she failed to see something much more important. She stopped along her random path and for the first time she realized, she hardly knew Heiji at all. Not because they hadn't spent time together, or because he had some secrets. No, she'd idolized Heiji to be someone she wanted him to be, and not who he really was.

She spent so much time behind rose colored lenses that she had effectively blinded herself to several truths. Heiji was a good person, and has always been an exceptional friend, not just to her, but to Ran and Kudo too. It was then that the real sadness came over her, as she began to sob quietly. This time, it wasn't for the loss of Heiji but the loss of time, time she'd lost building Heiji up to be something he wasn't and could never be. She felt the dread come over her when she realized that this time could never be regained, and would remain forever lost.

She moved as she wiped her tears, feeling the pressure on her heart slowly ease. It still pained, but it had dulled now when she realized how selfish she'd been, not just now, but always. How she'd selfishly demanded Heiji's time and attention all to herself, and never gave back half of what she was given. She'd write off his detective ramblings as nerdy, and tune him out until he was effectively done. Then turn around and expect Heiji to hang off her every word when talking about things he had no interest in.

Heiji was truly kind, he'd smiled and listen to her so intently, then recall it with clarity and a fond smile. He gave her his full and undivided attention when she barely gave him any of her own . It came as a shock to her when she realized Heiji didn't hate her, that only made her feel worse. She'd unknowingly abused him, and she didn't blame him for the fact that he went and found love elsewhere. Even if that "elsewhere" was with a guy, not to mention Shinichi Kudo of all people.

She could understand why other guys only went after her looks, her personality was severely lacking. This realization stung, for her to think so poorly of herself was heartbreaking, but she knew, it was all true. It wasn't even Heiji who had been victim to her selfish ways, upon meeting Ran she'd treated her poorly. She'd nit-picked at things like, wearing the same shirt at Heiji, when she knew, in the back of her mind, it was unintentional. She'd even forced Ran, through her bitching, to change into a brand new shirt at the train station.

She'd accused Ran of flirting with Heiji when they'd only come to Osaka to have a good time. She looked down, feeling embarrassed to show her face to complete strangers even. How she could have been blinded to these things, she felt as if she'd been speeding through her life. Mowing down anything and anyone that got in the way of her, friends mostly. She recalled several girls she'd once assumed were friends, then shoved them aside heartlessly when they got too close to Heiji. She had tried to eliminated any competition, to this it was plain to see. She did so becuase secretly she felt she'd lose to them, and ruined perfectly good friendships for it.

She sighed softly, all the time she spent making herself pretty on the outside she'd neglected to make herself pretty inside too. She finally came to a long stretch of grass and moved sitting down under the tree and leaned against it. Staring out at the lake silently, the sun shone off of it like crystals. So, what made Heiji fall in love with a guy? she asked herself as she stared out beyond the lake, she felt like it was abnormal, strange, even down right weird. What could a guy give another guy?

"AHHH! It's no use, I just don't know" she grumbled out loud.

"Know what?" came the sweet voice, she looked around quickly for the source and looked seeing a tall girl standing not far from her.

"Ah...I'm sorry, I thought I was alone" she admitted shyly.

The woman laughed, she had to be in her early 30's, with long blond hair that slipped through the fingers of the light breeze. She had beautifully deep green eyes that smiled down at her with kindness.

"I come here to get some peace when I'm feeling troubled, usually no one's here" she told Kazuha honestly as she sat down as well, her blue jeans hugging her legs tighter now.

"I wondered here, I...got some bad news and needed time to think" Kazuha whispered softly.

"Mind sharing?" the woman asked softly looking at her.

Kazuha couldn't explain it, but she started to spill everything that happened with barely a second thought. As if the woman's presence eased her heart open gently, exposing her. The woman listened to her with intent, and hung off the words and when she was done, nodded.

"I see," the woman said softly as the sat in silence for a while.

"You know...love is gender-blind" she started after a time.

"You meet that special someone and you can't explain it, it feels so right and sometimes so wrong. Though the heart can't be controlled with the logic of the mind, the mind can play tricks but the heart is always honest. Our hearts are ruled by our instincts, not by the standards society sets for us. If we force the heart to conform to these standards, we become unhappy, and humans aren't meant to live a life of sadness"

Kazuha listened to her words as they washed down on her like a warm summer rain. Her voice was soothing, with a slight magical ring to it that eased her troubled heart.

"Don't spend so much time comparing apples and oranges, their just not the same." she told her with a soft smile, Kazuha looked down at her hands quietly.

She realized what the stranger had been trying to say, she was so confused over what Kudo had that she didn't. She failed to realize that it was unfair not only to Kudo but herself to compare herself to him. They were after all very different people, not to mention separate genders. She smiled and turned her head up to thank the woman but as mysteriously as she came, she was gone.

She got up quickly to look around but there was no one, even the grass she'd sat on showed no signs of her presence. She walked up the hill and looked down the desolate street and saw no one at all. She turned back to look over the tree and lake, the woman's voice rang quietly in her heart. She nodded softly and decided it was okay to go back to Heiji's, to face him and tell him, it was alright.

Heiji blinked at Kazuha who stood at his door, he was certain she would never speak to him again. She'd rushed out so quickly, he could barely pursue her to stay.

"Sorry" she muttered looking down "For everything, for being so selfish"

"What are you talking about?" Heiji asked confused looking at her curiously.

"I took some time to think, and I realized all this time I was attempting to force you to like me. I was selfishly thinking of only me, and never your happiness. When that's what I should have been doing all along, as someone who claimed to be your friend." she whispered, wanting to cry again.

"Kazuha," Heiji whispered, it broke his heart to hear these words and see her fighting off her tears.

He reached and hugged her softly, she clung to him and lost it sobbing uncontrollably. Letting her love for him go, was so painful, letting him go hurt so much. Her only comfort lay in still hoping they could be friends and desperately hoping he wanted the same.

Heiji pulled her back so she could face him, "Kazuha, I didn't mean to hurt you, but I really want to stay friends. Your friendship is important to me, and, I know I should have told you sooner but..." he hesitated to say the rest and pressed on "things weren't exactly stable enough that we wanted to tell you back then"

"Stable...enough?" she wondered curiously

"Yeah, its...it's been really hard with Shinichi getting his body back and catching up on things. Not to mention our jobs as detectives kept us both busy at a time. It's only now gotten to the point where, we feel like this is what we really want, and we want you and Ran to be a part of that with us. We want your blessings, even if no one else would approve" Heiji told her gently.

She teared up again but not from sorrow, from joy, Heiji hadn't told her these things to hurt her. He'd told her about this because she was precious to him, and he wanted her to be a part of his happiness. For the first time that day, she smiled warmly at him, the anger had subsided, replaced by a strange sense of joy. She nodded softly, she wanted Heiji to be happy and realized even if it meant he loved someone else, she'd always be a part of his life.

"You owe me big time" she teased him with her usual flare, which caused Heiji to laugh in relief.

No matter what, least she knew their friendship would stand the test of time, longer than any potential relationship they may have had. She hadn't lost her best friend, she'd come closer to him, and now they were inseparably.

To be Continued