Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. If I did, I wouldn't need to write fanfiction.
Author's Note: Sorry it's taken so long for me to update!
Chapter Thirteen, Bad News
Arthur pushed open the heavy doors leading to the throne room. The evening light pouring through the windows cast the room in a dark blue glow that seemed half-beautiful, and half-ominous. He could see his father's dark silhouette standing beside a window and staring out of it thoughtfully. He opened his mouth to speak, but had to swallow and take a deep breath before any sounds would come from his mouth.
"Father," Arthur greeted the king. He had a heart that was heavy with the news he was about to deliver.
Uther spun around instantly and took in his son standing there, he hurried forwards until he was standing directly in front of Arthur, "Where have you been?"
Arthur could see concern in his father's eyes, and felt a little guilty for not having told his father where he was going. But the king never would have allowed it.
He tried to stand up straight with confidence, but inside he felt like shrinking away from explaining the whole situation to his father. Who knew what the king would do or say when he heard what Arthur had to tell him? The only reason the news hadn't already nearly killed Arthur was because in the moment, the situation had been so urgent that he had not had time to feel the whole sting of betrayal. His father had no such protection.
"You may want to sit down, sire." Arthur told his father, and then glanced over his shoulders at the guards pointedly.
"Leave us." The king commanded the guards, and they did as they were told with only slight hesitation.
Uther sat down on his throne and looked at Arthur, eyes serious, but there was relief in them too. "What is it?"
"Do you know where Morgana is, sire?" Arthur asked, uncomfortably. He felt as if he had been stabbed. Morgana had been like a sister to him, and she had betrayed him. She had betrayed them all. Morgana was a traitor to Camelot.
Torchlight flickered on the walls of the throne room and cast a glow almost as ominous as the fading light outside, but much less beautiful.
"She had some old friends she wished to visit." Uther said, shrugging. Then his eyes widened, "Is she alright? Is she hurt?"
"Father..." Arthur said, his voice losing some of its strength. "I left Camelot because someone had kidnapped Lady Guinevere,"
Uther looked surprised, and then angry at not having been told before, but he didn't say anything, which surprised Arthur.
"I found out that my servant's girlfriend, Verona, had been taken as well, so we both went to go find them." Arthur continued, "I know it was wrong of me not to ask you, father, but I was frightened for Guinevere, I could not have her death be my fault."
"We will discuss it later, continue with your story."
"When we arrived..." Arthur broke off, this was the part of the story he was dreading telling the most. "We discovered that Morgana and another woman...They had..." He sighed, took a deep breath, then continued, "They had kidnapped Lady Guinevere and Verona."
Uther stood up suddenly from his chair and pointed accusingly at his son, "Such jokes are not amusing, Arthur!"
"I am not joking, father!" Arthur shouted, to get his father's attention. "It is as horrible to me as it is to you. But Morgana means harm against Camelot. I believe... I believe that Morgana and the other woman, Morgause, are both witches."
Uther turned so that he was facing away from Arthur, and said quietly, "There must be some mistake."
"I'm sorry, sire, but there is no mistake." Arthur said, his voice sad.
"Out!" Uther's voice was loud and angry, and it cut through the room like daggers.
"Father-"
"Out!" He repeated, and Arthur took the hint, leaving the room and letting the doors slam shut behind him. The sound echoed through the corridor with a sort of finality about the sound that made it frightening.
He looked at the guards and said in a low voice, "You best give him time alone."
00000
Merlin stood in his room lighting candles to ward off the darkness that was coming with the evening. The light was fading outside his window, and he had no desire to sit alone in the dark. But the process of lighting all the candles was tiresome and frustrating. He'd always been used to being able to do it by magic when he was alone in his room. But he could not do that now, he was leaving magic behind. So he had to light each candle individually, no matter how tiresome.
"Merlin, sweetheart, Verona is awake. Is it alright if she comes to speak to you? She wanted to know." His mother's voice came from the doorway, and he turned to look at her.
"Of course!" He said eagerly, forgetting the displeasure he had felt with the world only a few minutes before.
His mother smiled, "Alright then, she'll be here in a moment." His mother left, closing the door softly behind her.
A moment later, the door opened again slowly and in walked Verona. She took small careful steps into the room, and she still looked very pale. The cuts on her face had disappeared due to Merlin's healing spell, but she looked far from well. Her face was white as paper, and there were dark lines beneath her eyes. Her red hair fell rather messily about her face, but Merlin still couldn't help but think she looked beautiful. The fact that she was alive was enough for him.
Merlin bounded across the room in a couple large steps and then stopped a few feet in front of her, holding out his arms to her to welcome a hug.
The uncertainty seemed to melt from Verona's eyes, and she flew into his arms. From the way she was shaking, however, Merlin knew that Verona was crying, and he stroked her hair softly. He couldn't think of anything comforting to say.
"You've saved me three times and all I've ever done is lie to you. How am I going to repay you, ever?" She asked, pulling away from him and wiping quickly at her eyes. But every time she did more tears appeared and after a moment she gave up and just let them fall.
"You don't have to repay me, Verona. You don't owe me anything."
She was silent for a while, as she seemed to look at everything in the room except for Merlin. Then her eyes fell to the ground and she said quietly, "You won't love me anymore."
"Why shouldn't I?" He demanded. True, he didn't know if they really were right for each other, after all that had happened. But he remembered that relief he felt when he knew she was going to live, and the fear he had felt when he wasn't so sure. And remembering those feelings made him pretty certain that he could love her. That he did love her.
"No one ever does. Not when I act the way I really am, instead of who you want me to be."
"Then, I have a proposition to make." He said, with a calmness that surprised even himself.
"What?" Her voice was filled with doubt, but he thought he could trace a hint of hope in it too.
"You be who you really are, and we can start over. We can be friends, and get to know each other. Deal?" He thought that was the best way to handle the situation. The way he figured it, was that he would probably fall in love with her -The real her- in no time, because he was convinced that he already did really love her. So, until then, they could just be friends and be sure to really know each other. It would all be better that way.
She looked a little uncertain, but then nodded and smiled, "So you forgive me?"
He gave a cheerful nod, "As far as I'm concerned, the whole thing never happened."
She looked up at him with wide eyes, "I don't deserve you." She said almost inaudibly.
He frowned and shook his head, he hated when she said things like that. She didn't think well enough of herself. "Don't say that. You're important. You need to learn to be happy with who you are."
"That's easy for you to say, your-" She paused for a moment when she saw him frown, but continued. "-Your sweet, and kind, and goodhearted and everyone adores you. And you have magic and can save lives. You're brave and-"
"Verona, don't." Merlin pleaded, he felt sad and a little sick. She was wrong. Because at that moment he just felt like a monster. He had stolen the natural gift of magic from two people that day. That was not what someone sweet and kind and goodhearted did.
"It's only the truth." She mumbled.
He shook his head, "I'm not going to use my magic anymore." He told her, trying to keep his voice firm so that she would not question his resolve.
She stared at him, her eyes wide, "What?"
"I'm giving up my magic. It's gotten to be too much, I'm hurting people and-"
"But, Merlin!" Verona gasped, looking upset, "You were just telling me I needed to be me and not someone else! You were just telling me to be happy with who I was!"
Merlin frowned, "That's different."
"I can't see how!" She said, her voice firm. Then she her eyes softened and fell to the ground, "I'm-I'm sorry. Yo-You would want me to be supportive."
At first Merlin was relieved, and then realized what she was doing and said quickly, "No! You need to say what you think to me. That was the deal, remember?"
She nodded, swallowed and took a deep breath. Then she spoke in a clear voice and said, firmly, "Then I think it's very bad of you." There was an honesty in her voice that Merlin barely recognized, because he had never heard it there before. But he could see the fear of his anger in her eyes, so he fought to keep calm.
"It's for the best, Verona."
"It's hypocritical, Merlin. Shouldn't I be allowed to lie to you all I want? I know it's wrong. But doing what you are doing, denying who you really are, it's exactly the same thing I did!"
Her words stung, especially because he knew for the first time he was hearing what she really thought. "I understand what you think, but I can't do it anymore!"
"I thought you were happy with who you were Merlin!" She sounded sad and disappointed and he hated to hear that from her, but at least she was being honest.
"I'm afraid of what I might become, Verona!" Merlin said, in frustration.
"You could never be bad, Merlin." She said quietly, her eyes wide and sad.
"I'm not so sure."
Author's Note: I'm sorry that this chapter was so short, and rather lame. But it was one of those times when I needed to write a sort of 'in between' chapter, you know? Please review!