"Pfft. You're a lying bitch." Anakin scoffed. "Why don't you run along now, child? Leave the 'star wars' for the big boys."

"This is no joke, Anakin! That was Yoda on the phone. He's freaking out! A whole bunch of his house elf pals got killed last night by the bad guys from star wars."

"You don't mean Darth Maul do you?" Anakin's breath hitched.

"Did you really just google 'who were the bad guys in star wars' and decide to use Darth Maul?"

"Yes.."

"Anyway! We need to get out of here!"

"Shh, shh, shh." Anakin soothed her with his deep voice. "Shut up, now. I'll get us out of here."

She nodded helplessly, like a helpless idiot all helpless-like as Anakin sliced off a strangers head and stole the keys to his star wars space craft thing.

They jumped in the space craft and sped to yoda's house.

"I want your love and I want your revenge, you and me could write a bad romance!"

"whoahh-ah-ohhh- oh we're here." Anakin cheered as he switched off the radio.

"Anakin wait!" she grabbed onto his arm. "This could be a trap."

"Oh my fucking god, is it that time of the month?" He asked.

She stared at him blankly. "I don't know what you're trying to say-"

"One minute, you are all concerned for Yoda. Then when we get here, it's 'Never mind, I think it's a trap, lets go find a strip club so I can put in my resume to become a cheap stripper whore!'"

"I never said-"

"Just shut the fuck up and listen to yourself for ONE second! You're a real cow sometimes, do you know that? And not just the way you act. The way you look. Maybe you should think before you speak, because I've been done the road that you're on. And let me tell you, there aint no cake at the end of that tea party."

"You've given me a lot to think about, Anakin. I fear that without your wisdom I'd be dead." Her eyes filled with salty tears as she fell to her knees and bowed her head. "End my life. I do not deserve to journey with you."

Just as Anakin was about to decapitate whats-er-face, he heard a scream coming from Yoda's house. They both ran into the small shitty home, only to find Yoda dead on his pink tiled floors.

"Who would do this?" Anakin waved his arms around for no particular reason.

"I think we both know who." That girl murmured darkly.

"DARTH MAUL!" Anakin yelled, "YOU WILL PAY!"

To be continued...