This time around, we're going back almost to the start - to Chapter Nine of Alex Gets Punished. This is the first version of that chapter.
How long can it take Max to get to sleep? Alex was sitting on the couch with Justin, watching him out of the corner of her eye. It must've been twenty minutes since he went to bed.
She swallowed, moved a little closer to Justin on the couch. He looked at her and moved away slightly. "Alex... we're not doing this. If you can't respect how I feel, then..."
"Then what?" Alex asked after a moment. He'd stopped talking, and was looking at her like... Oh, I think Max must've just fallen asleep. She scooted closer to him on the couch, and this time, he didn't move away. "Justin?"
"Yes?" He blinked slowly, looking at Alex. They'd been talking about something... something about feelings. He raised his hand and touched her cheek, just barely, as if too much pressure might pop her like a soap bubble.
"Did you want to say something?" Alex looked up into her brother's eyes, searching them.
"I... no. I just... what are you doing here, Alex? My parents are out of town, and I don't think they'd like me having you here this late..."
Oh my God. A good boy to the end. But she smiled anyway. She wouldn't really want him changed that much. Well... maybe a little. "It's okay. They know I'm here. They're okay with it."
"They are?" Justin blinked, confused, but then smiled.
"But..."
"But what?" He frowned again, lowering his hand and looking at Alex curiously as a grin grew on her face. She turned her head to the side, coquettishly, then spoke again.
"I don't think they'd be okay with this." And she lunged forward, bearing Justin down onto the couch, brought her face down, and kissed him. His hands automatically went to Alex's arms, holding her so she wouldn't fall off, and she smiled into the kiss, a warm happy glow suffusing her as she felt very protected by him.
He kissed her back, lips moving against hers, and Alex felt a moment of surprise as her brother's tongue slid into her mouth. Where'd he learn to kiss like this? He said Miranda was his first kiss... She felt a tinge of jealousy, thinking about Miranda, but it faded quickly. After all - they'd broken up, and now... right now, he was hers. All mine.
Alex met Justin's tongue with hers, tentatively to start with, then with more firmness as her confidence grew. And then he broke the kiss, and she frowned. "What?"
"Wow," he said, smiling up at her. "I mean... not that I'm complaining, but you're seeming a bit more... intense than usual, tonight."
Uhhh... Alex blinked. What kind of memories does he have of me right now? What does he think we've already done or haven't done? She started to feel a bit of panic, wondering if the genie had somehow managed to twist things, but suppressed it. I can handle this. If I can get Justin to do what I want normally, I can definitely do it when he thinks I'm his girlfriend.
"Well, to tell you the truth," she said, sitting up off of Justin and looking away, "my dad's getting a job in another city."
"What?" Justin sat up as well, very quickly, and moved in against Alex, putting his arms around her. "But... they know we're dating, and... where?"
"LA," she said, putting as much misery as she could into each syllable. She turned then, hugged Justin tightly, burying her face in his neck. "I love you," she said, very quietly. "I mean, like... I really love you. I don't think there's any other guy I'd want. And..." She stopped, pulled back just slightly, staying in her brother's arms, and looked up at him.
"What?" he asked again, more softly this time. He put a hand on her head, ran his fingers through lush, dark hair.
"I want you to be my first, Justin. Your parents are out of town. Mine think I'm staying at a girlfriend's house tonight. I want you."
Justin swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. "Are... are you sure? I mean, I don't want you to feel like you have to, if you're not ready..."
"I'm ready," she answered quickly, touching her brother's cheek and looking up into his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak again, and she moved forward and kissed him to keep him from making any other arguments. A moment later, she broke the kiss, looked at him again. "My mind's made up, Justin. And you know nothing changes my mind once it's made up. Thank you for trying to be sweet and sensitive, but right now..."
She smiled a little again, then leaned forward and turned her head, putting her mouth by his ear. "Right now, I want you to be big, strong, and bold. I've been a bad, bad girl... and I need a spanking." The last words came out even more quiet, and she was amazed she'd managed to get them out at all.
"You... you want a spanking?" Justin blinked at her, and memories fell into place. Spanking Alex before. The dream he'd had... Something nagged at him, at the corner of his mind, but he dismissed it, looking at Alex, and smiled. "Then a spanking you shall have!"
Justin stood up, lifting Alex with him, putting one arm behind her shoulder, the other under her knees. She giggled at that, but put her arms around his neck. Quickly, he carried her to the stairs, then looked up them and bit his lip. Smiling again, he set Alex on the bottom step, which put them almost eye-to-eye.
He ran his hand through her hair once, twice, then a third time, holding her close against himself with his other arm. "You are so beautiful," he murmured, then kissed Alex, his hand moving to the back of her head, holding her firmly in place as he worked his lips on hers, pulling gently. His other hand rose then, thumb moving to Alex's chin, pulling it down to give his tongue entrance to her mouth.
Alex pressed forward against her brother, letting her arms go around him. Oh, he feels good. So good.
As you can see, I got a good ways along writing it like this. But I wasn't really happy with it. Why not?
Well, it felt too quick, for one thing - I felt like more buildup was needed, and that required some kind of action to be taking place before Max fell asleep, unless I wanted to just write Alex sitting there fidgeting and worrying.
So I started it over, starting with Max still being awake. I'm glad I did that, since it gave me a few Max lines to throw in. I realized then that, since I'd had Justin avoiding being alone with Alex, it made more sense for him to keep doing it… and so I had him say he was going to bed too, requiring Alex to do something to keep him up. That led to the laundry room, which let me throw in a Justin moment, with him showing Alex how to properly measure detergent and emphasizing the importance of following the label directions.
We hadn't had a Max moment in three chapters, and I knew I was getting close to the end - and my Justin hadn't really shown any know-it-all tendencies at all, so it was good to get to throw that in.
After that, I started to re-use parts of what I'd written in this first draft. I still felt like Justin, being the straight-up guy he is, would want to make sure that Alex was completely sure that she wanted to have her first time be with him, even believing that she was his girlfriend - thus, she still wound up using the 'my parents are moving and I want you to be my first' speech.
I also decided that that speech was the place to end the chapter… and that it was too good and emotional to waste on a request for a spanking. Thus, the rearrangement to put the spanking first.
Looking back, I do wish I'd worked the bit on the stairs into the posted version… it could have gone at the start of the next chapter. Ah, well - I never claimed to be perfect.