Author's Unimportant Note: WOOT! Character death in this chapter! This chapter is bloody, and not for people who can't handle an overload of total BADASS.

Nate peeled his ski mask off to get a good view of the house in front of him. The team had to go to Wal-Mart to buy the masks, but it backfired and they ended up stealing them. It wasn't that bad, they left a dollar in change to partially compensate Wal-Mart for their expenses. Lucas drove the gettaway car, and they were now on the front lawn of Lisa Cuddy's ugly house. All the lights were off, but they were definitely in there.

Hardison gave a small sigh as Lucas bent down to pick up a piece of paper, but Eliot hit him in the arm, and the sighing quickly stopped.

"Mmkay, so we need a plan. Parker, make a quick round around the house to check for security or creepos." Nate stood looking thoughtful.

Hardison piped up nervously. "Um, Nate. Aren't we technically the creepos?"

Sophie answered for him. "Silly Alec. We're the GOOD GUYS. Not the creepos."

Eliot grunted. "I think we should make nicknames. I can be Tarzan, and Sophie can be Fartface."

Sophie tried not to cry at the hitter's words. Instead, she looked at a butterfly. As her gaze fell on the beautiful creature, it gave a shirek and fell to the ground, dead. Sophie cried this time.

"It's okay, Fartface." Eliot mocked, raisings his palms. "Why the hell is a butterfly out here anyway?" He took the heel of his boot and pressed it against the butterfly's body, crushing it.

Nate shushed everybody by pressing his index finger to his lips and going "SHUSH!" very loudly. "I agree with Eliot; we do need nicknames. I can be, uh, Nathaniel." He elbowed Lucas. "Get it? Nate; Nathaniel. Huh?"

Lucas fell to the ground and started to foam at the mouth. "W-Why are we d-doing this in the front of h-her house where anybody c-could drive by?"

They ignored him. Sophie squealed when she thought the name of Sophierica. Eliot kept Tarzan, and Hardison was unfortunately nicknamed The Little Gay Man.

Parker should have been back by now. "Where is SHE?" Sophie hissed, but broke off suddenly when they saw a light flick on in the house in front of them.

"Oh noo..." Lucas groaned, getting up. "Oh no."

"Quickly, everybody, we have to help Parker. They must have captured her." Nate pulled out a cheap sword from its sheath on his waist. He bought it at Wal-Mart along with the ski masks.

They all yelled as they ran toward the house, Eliot pushing to the front to ram the front door with his shoulder. It busted open, cracking and shooting splinters to the whole crew. Parker walked in the room, a soda in her left hand. "What's going on? I just turned the light on to find something to drink."

"YOU MORON!" Hardison yelped, cowering in the corner. "We're all gonna die!"

But House and Cuddy didn't appear to have woken up. Parker had disabled the alarm system, but the door breaking was really loud. Nate whispered the plan. "Tarzan, Gay Man, go into the bedroom and drag them in here. Lucas, find some rope. Me and Sophierica will stand here and look cool."

Eliot and Hardison trudged toward the bedroom. A few moments later Nate heard muffled screams and some crying. There was a loud bang, Eliot cursing, and something lashing against skin. Eliot walked out first, dragging House by his heels. There was a long slice on House's chest, and Hardison appeared, holding a bloody sex whip in his hand. He dropped a writhing Cuddy on the floor, pressing his heel against her neck so she couldn't crawl away. "Eliot told me to hold this after he whipped House for trying to hit him. It was just lying around. LOL."

Lucas returned, and both House and Cuddy's eyes widened when he appeared. They tried to talk, but Sophie was busy ducktaping their mouths. Nate kicked two chairs in the middle of the room, and Lucas tied them both to one.

Nate grinned as his team settled behind him. Lucas avoided everybody's gaze. "Soo, it seems we have a bunch of CLOWNS, with us today." He leaned, squinting in Cuddy's face. "How old are you?" He swerved to look at House, then back to Cuddy. "Lukie, she's too old for you."

Lucas sobbed. "Don't call me Lukie." Cuddy seemed to be trying to talk with her eyes, but Eliot whispered something to Parker, and the thief soon disappeared.

Nate strode to the middle of the room, sniffing indignantly at the two people in front of him. He was about to say something, but coughed instead. After a slightly awkward silence of mumbled bless you's Nate spoke again. "So. We've got three people; two men, one woman. Said woman dates one of the men, accepts his PROPOSAL, even, but then dumps him less than 24 hours later for a fat, ugly, scarred asshole. What are we? A highschool?"

Eliot strode up and pounded his fist in his hand for effect. Hardison lashed his sex whip menicingly in the air. Nate rolled his eyes. "Tarzan, rape the lady."

Sophie's head shot up from where she was napping. "What? We can't do that! It's unethical!" Sophie paused for a second, pursing her lips in thought. "And the bitch is unattractive. You know, the latter is more convincing. Tarzan," She spread across the floor. "Rape me instead."

"Hell. No."

Nate slammed his fist down on a table as House let out what sounded like a chuckle. "YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? HUH? WELL FUCK YOU! I AM NATHANIEL FUCKING FORDIFORD AND I DON'T TOLERATE STUPID SHIT, YOU UNDERSTAND ME?" Nate was breathing hard and his chest was rising with each breath, a gleam in his eye.

He didn't stop there. "So, which man in the room is your boyfriend?" He said to Cuddy, grinning. "Pick one. Tell me where he is. C'mon, where is he?"

She started to bawl. He continued.

"So, where's your FUCKING BOYFRIEND?"

"Lord Nathaniel, I think this has gotten out of hand."

"Shush, Princess Sophierica. I can handle this."

Lucas jumped up, nervous and jittery. "NATE! NATE! Don't kill them." He pleaded, almost in tears himself.

Nate squinted. "Who is this Nate you speak of?" He turned to Cuddy and House. "I am Lord Nathaniel." His eyes remained slanted as he spoke.

Without warning, they all heard Parker scream from farther back in the house. "I found the baby!" Eliot nodded approvingly, but Cuddy's scream was muffled by the duct tape on her mouth.

"Lord Nathaniel, this really wasn't how it should have played out." Sophie was sweating with nervousness and slight fear.

"I agree." Hardison yelped, stumbling up.

A gun fired.

The Leverage team stumbled back, raising their hands defensively over their faces at the noise. The room caught FIRE as a figure swaggered in casually, as if the scene was nothing. A long, slick black coat fell at its feet as it stopped, the smoke clearing for a clearer view.

Foreman. Foreman? Foreman.

Dark sunglasses covered his eyes, and in his hand he held a regular handgun, though there were two heavy duty machine guns strapped to his back. In a cold, robotic voice, Foreman stated, "I got a last minute call from a James Sterling. A disoriented guy, at that. I was going to brush him off, but he said that these five criminals were headed to Cuddy's. Couldn't believe it." He shrugged, flicking a piece of lint off of his shoulder. "I brought back up, just in case."

Chase jumped in, waving a watergun madly in the air. He had a pink sweatsuit on, and cheap sunglasses. Thirteen walked in, a leather suit on, similar to that of Kate Beckinsale in Underword. It even had a cape.

Nate got up slowly, chuckling. "You think your flimsly little army can stop me? Really? You've got to be kidding." He laughed, motioning to Eliot. "Tarzan, kill." Eliot didn't hesitate. As Nate motioned to the rest of the team, Eliot flung himself in battle with the three people. Parker, Sophie, and Hardison soon did the same. Four against three.

Screams could be heard as hair was pulled, clothing ripped. Blood splattered against House's and Cuddy's faces, and their eyes widened in shock. Parker was in an all out battle with Thirteen, who was currently winning. "Think you can hurt me, you little blonde punk? I have Huntington's. I have NOTHING to live for!"

Parker stopped struggling. "You do? That's SO sad." Thirteen, caught of guard, didn't say anything, but loosened her grip enough for Parker to take over and slit her throat.

Nate was red in the face, screaming. "MORE BLOOD! MORE BLOOD MORE!" Eliot shoved his boot against Chase's baby face as Hardison whipped him.

"Naughty, naughty boy." Hardison scolded the Australian. Eliot pushed down harder, and Chase let out a small noise as he died. Suddenly, Foreman pulled out one of the machine guns.

"ENOUGH!" He screeched as he blasted across the room, the sound of the bullets pounding against the wall nearly deafening. Stray bullets quickly found Sophie, who wasn't really fighting, killing the British woman instantly. She went unmourned.

Eliot growled, pushing over to Foreman, but before he reached the Murderer of Sophie, Nate raised his hand, and the bullets stopped flying. Hardison and Lucas stared up in estonishment as Nate sighed. "Too much blood, too much. I was greedy. So greedy..." He closed his eyes, sighing again. Finally, after several minutes. He looked up at Foreman, approaching the man. Foreman didn't stop him. "You killed her. My friend. My lov-" He stopped as Eliot stared at him. "My friend. And for that-" He looked into the doctor's eyes. "I must thank you."

Foreman looked confused as the Leverage team took turns clasping him on the shoulder, telling him he did a good job. He dropped his weapon; it splashed in a puddle of blood and remained still. House and Cuddy looked almost braindead with shock. "C'mon." Eliot grunted to Foreman, giving him a bro hug. "We can all go get a cold beer."

"W-What about them?" Lucas pointed to House and Cuddy, shaking in shock.

"Oh, yeah." Nate said absentmindedly. He grabbed the gun from the blood and shot both of them. "They won't be missed."

Lucas lay dead in a puddle of blood and his own piss. He was never good at handling shock.

Nate, Eliot, Hardison, Parker, and Foreman walked down the street and into the growing sunrise, side by side. Neighbors were waking up, looking curiously at the group. It didn't matter. They were at peace. Everything was great. "So." Nate looked hesitantly at Foreman, who was staring straight ahead and had a natural pokerface on. "What would you say if I asked you to be our new grifter..."

The End.