A/N: Hey guys! This chapter is pretty angsty. I didn't intend for it to be that way, but that's how it turned out. Anyway, happy reading, and feel free to review.
Disclaimer: The only thing I own is Emily.
/
A few days after their night together, Merlin played his first concert. Arthur and Emily had front row tickets to the performance. Emily sat enraptured by the music. When they were waiting for Merlin afterwards she tugged on his hand and said, "I want to learn how to do that! Do you think Merlin would show me?"
"Maybe if you asked him very nicely." Arthur told her. A few minutes later Merlin came out to meet them. Emily ran to him and he lifted her into his arms and then leaned in to give Arthur a quick kiss.
"I'm so glad you guys could come. It's a shame Gwen and Lance had to pass."
Arthur nodded.
"They wanted to be here, but Tommy's fever still hasn't broken."
Merlin frowned at the news but Emily turned his face so that he was forced to meet her gaze.
"It was very pretty. Could you teach me how to play the piano?"
Merlin laughed.
"I started playing when I was your age, so I suppose I could teach you a little bit."
Emily gave him a happy laugh and a long kiss on his cheek. The three of them made their way outside. It wasn't long before Emily was asleep in Merlin's arms. When they got back to the apartment he gave her to Arthur.
"I'll get her changed for bed and then I'll be back." he said.
When Emily was tucked into bed Arthur joined Merlin on the couch. He'd shed his tuxedo jacket and had his shirt partially unbuttoned.
"Trying to tempt me?" Arthur asked as he ran his fingers over Merlin's collarbones.
"No, but if I managed to then I wouldn't complain."
Arthur nodded and pulled him in for a long kiss. Merlin met him halfway and smiled against Arthur's lips. A few minutes later he reluctantly pulled away.
"If we're going to continue this then I think we should move it to the bedroom."
"Good point." Arthur said taking his hand and pulling him down the hallway. As soon as the door was shut behind them they picked up where they had left off.
/
"Daddy? I'm hungry. Daddy!"
Arthur woke up to small fists beating against his door. He wiped the sleep out of his eyes and then pulled himself out of bed. Merlin was still sleeping and he didn't want to wake him. He slipped on some work out shorts and brushed his teeth before slipping out of his room. Emily was standing in the hall looking indignant.
"I'm hungry." she said.
"So I heard. Let's get some breakfast then, shall we?"
He led her down the hall and she sat at the table while he busied himself pouring her some cereal and making himself a cup of coffee. When he set her bowl in front of her she looked up at him with her big blue eyes and a smile.
"Did Merlin stay over?" she asked. Arthur tried not to blush.
"Why do you ask?"
She pointed to the couch where Merlin's tuxedo jacked was still draped over the arm. Arthur looked at it for a moment and then turned back to Emily who was still smiling.
"Yes. He spent the night."
Emily nodded and continued to eat. When she was done she pushed her bowl away and looked back at her father.
"You love Merlin, don't you?"
Arthur did his best not to spit coffee across the table.
"I, um, what?"
Emily shook her head.
"It's not a hard question, Daddy. Do you love him?"
Arthur continued to look at her and tried to work out where she could have gotten her forwardness. Neither he nor his father were quite as frank as his young daughter was.
"Yes. At least, I think I do."
Emily hopped off her chair and climbed into Arthur's lap. She lightly kissed his cheek and said, "You should tell him. It would make him happy."
She then got up and went back to her room. Arthur was frozen in place. He still hadn't moved when Merlin came into the kitchen ten minutes later. Merlin had found one of Arthur's old t-shirts and another pair of work out shorts to wear. Arthur couldn't ignore the warm feeling he got from seeing the other man in his clothes.
"Are you alright?" Merlin asked as he sat down across from Arthur. Arthur just nodded and grabbed Emily's discarded bowl.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking."
Merlin snorted.
"Well, don't hurt yourself."
Arthur smacked him in the back of the head and Merlin laughed again.
/
Arthur didn't see much of Merlin over the next week. He had more concerts to play in and Arthur was swamped at work. He was working on editing three novels and could barely see straight by the time he picked Emily up every day. At the end of the week Emily asked if they could go over to Merlin's apartment.
"I want to see him." she pleaded from her place on the floor where she was coloring in the living room. Arthur sighed from the couch.
"I'd like to see him too, but we've both been busy this week and I don't know if he has plans tonight or not."
"Call and ask!" Emily whined.
"It's getting late, Emily. By the time I call him and make plans then it will be close to your bedtime and not worth the trouble."
Emily made an annoyed sound and threw her crayon across the room.
"But I miss him! Don't you?"
Arthur was at his wits' end and he snapped.
"Yes, Emily, I do. That doesn't mean that I can just call him and order him over here or invite myself to his home. He's entitled to his own life. His world doesn't revolve around the two of us and I have no right to make him feel as if it does!" he yelled. Emily stared at him for a moment and then ran away crying. Arthur heard her slam the door to her room and he deflated back into the couch cushions.
"What is wrong with me?" he whispered. He'd never yelled at her before; he'd hardly ever raised his voice at her. It had just been a long, stressful week and Merlin's absence from it certainly didn't help matters. He stood up and collected her coloring book and crayons. Slowly, he made his way down the hall to her room and knocked on her door. He got no response, but he gently opened the door anyway. Emily was sitting on her bed with her head on her knees crying. Arthur swallowed the lump in his throat and set her things on her desk.
"I'm sorry." he whispered as he sat next to her on the bed. She didn't look at him.
"I shouldn't have yelled at you, Emily. It's not your fault that I'm mad. You're right, I do miss Merlin and I want to see him, but we have to let him have some time to himself every now and then. We can't expect him to spend all of his time with us."
Emily finally looked at him and wiped at her cheeks.
"Why not? We love him and he loves us, right?"
Arthur put his arm around her and pulled her close.
"I think so. I know we love him, and I know that he loves you, but he still deserves some time to himself."
Emily snuggled into Arthur's side and he soothingly rubbed her back.
"He loves you too, Daddy. I know he does." she whispered against his shirt. Arthur smiled.
"I hope you're right. Now, if I bring you some ice cream will you promise me that you'll stop crying?"
Emily laughed and nodded.
"Good. I really don't like it when you cry." he said as he dropped a kiss to the top of her head before he went to get her treat.
/
When Emily was asleep Arthur called Merlin. He smiled when Merlin picked up on the second ring.
"Hey! I was just about to call you."
"Yeah?"
"Yes. I've been meaning to for days, but my schedule has been crazy."
"Don't worry about it. I've had my own hands full."
"Nothing's wrong, is it?"
Arthur sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Not really. I yelled at Emily tonight because I'm an idiot and I made her cry."
"Oh, Arthur. What happened?"
"Nothing. She just really misses you and wanted to see you tonight, but I told her it was too late to get together. She kept insisting and I just snapped at her. I felt horrible afterwards, and I apologized and made it up to her, but still. It shouldn't have happened. It's just been a really stressful week."
"I know what you mean, and I miss her too. I miss both of you. I'm free tomorrow if you want to come over. We could have lunch and then I could finally give Emily that piano lesson she wanted."
"That would be great. We'll be there around 11, if that's alright?"
"Sounds great! I'll see you both tomorrow."
"See you tomorrow. Goodnight, Merlin."
"Goodnight, Arthur. Sweet dreams."
Arthur fell asleep with a smile on his face.
/
Over the next month Arthur and Merlin made sure that they saw each other at least twice a week. Emily got one piano lesson a week from Merlin and she seemed to be picking it up.
"She kind of reminds me of myself." Merlin said to Arthur after one of her lessons.
Gwen and Lance would keep Emily over sometimes so that the two men could have a night to themselves. They didn't always have sex, sometimes they would just enjoy the uninterrupted time together, but having sex was one of their favorite activities. Arthur was very strict that it was to be contained to his bedroom and bathroom only though.
"With my luck Emily would notice a stain or something and then I'd never be able to look her in the eyes again!" Arthur explained through his moans as Merlin sucked him off in the shower one night. Merlin didn't reply; he just took Arthur in deeper.
/
On one of the last days of summer Arthur and Merlin took Emily to the zoo in Central Park. While Emily was looking at the penguins Arthur and Merlin argued over where to go for lunch. When they settled that, Emily asked if she could get a stuffed lion. Arthur said no at the same time that Merlin said yes.
"She's got enough stuffed animals. She doesn't need another one." Arthur said quietly.
"What's one more?" Merlin asked.
"I'm her father and I said no."
Merlin scoffed.
"Oh, so you're going to pull that card, are you?"
Arthur threw his hands in the air.
"It's not a card, it's the truth!" he said loudly. Other parents and kids were starting to look over at them. Emily tugged on Arthur's pant leg trying to get his attention, but he ignored her.
"We shouldn't do this here." Merlin said in a harsh, low tone.
Arthur looked around them and noticed that they were drawing a crowd. That's also when he noticed Emily tugging at him insistently.
"Don't fight." she pleaded.
Arthur ran his fingers through her hair and nodded. She took his hand and pulled him from the gift shop with Merlin trailing after them. They barely said two words to each other for the rest of the day, but both pretended that nothing was wrong for Emily's sake. At the end of the day Merlin left after hugging Emily and telling her that he would see her in two days for her lesson. He didn't spare Arthur a second look.
/
Saturday found Arthur at his father's house. Emily was playing upstairs while he and Ulysses had drinks in the living room.
"I don't know what's going on lately. We never used to fight, but now it's like that's all we do." Arthur said as he took a sip of his scotch.
"It seems to me like you're experiencing the end of the honeymoon stage."
Arthur gave his father a confused look.
"What?"
Ulysses took a sip of his own drink and then replied, "The honeymoon stage comes at the beginning of every relationship. It's the first few months when everything seems perfect."
"And you're saying that this honeymoon stage has ended for Merlin and I?"
Ulysses nodded.
"If you're fighting all the time, then yes. How long has it been now that you two have been together?"
"It was four months two days ago."
Arthur shook his head.
"I don't know what to do. I don't want to fight with him, it just happens. I feel awful afterwards, but at the time I just can't seem to stop. And we fight over the silliest things. We actually had a fight about spoons. Spoons!"
Ulysses laughed.
"That is rather ridiculous."
"This isn't funny! I feel like I'm losing him and it hurts. I don't want to lose him."
Ulysses placed his hand on his son's shoulder.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made fun of your situation. It's just, it reminds me of your mother and I."
Arthur looked up so fast he thought he heard his neck crack.
"Really?"
Ulysses nodded.
"Yes. Your mother and I dated for a similar length of time before our honeymoon stage ended. After that, we fought constantly, and about silly little things too. There was one point when I got so annoyed with her that I actually considered ending things between us."
Arthur's eyes widened.
"Really?"
"Yes. I thought that there was no way that I could tolerate her one more minute and I had every intention of leaving her. Then, she came to me and she told me that she'd never met someone who infuriated her so much. She went on to say that I was the most stubborn man she'd ever encountered and that she was probably the most idiotic woman in the world because she just couldn't make herself stop loving me. It was when she said that that I knew I could never leave her. We may have fought, but it was never malicious or cruel, it was just silly disagreements. At the end of the day I loved her more than anyone and I couldn't bear the thought of not having her in my life."
Arthur sat in silence for a minute so that he could take in what his father had said. Finally, he asked, "So what should I do?"
"You tell him the truth about how you feel and then you go from there. Trying to keep your mouth shut to keep from fighting helps too. That was a lesson that took me far too long to learn."
Arthur laughed and took another sip of his drink. His father made a good point.
/
In the end, it didn't matter that Ulysses had made a good point; Arthur still managed to ruin everything. Merlin had come over for dinner with Arthur and Emily and the evening looked like it was going well. They got through dinner without even the hint of an argument and even made it through dessert and a movie. When Arthur came back from putting Emily to bed is when everything went to Hell.
"I'm sorry that she was clinging to you all night." Arthur said as he sat beside Merlin on the couch.
"I don't mind."
Arthur shook his head.
"I know, but she was really clingy tonight. It's just because she hasn't seen you in a few days."
Merlin scoffed.
"And whose fault is that? I called to invite you both over three days ago but you said you were too tired from work."
Arthur shook his head.
"I was tired! I'd proofread and edited over two hundred pages that day and all I wanted to do was close my eyes."
"Well that's fine, but you could have done that at my place, or are you not comfortable enough to relax in my presence?"
Arthur turned toward Merlin and said, "You know that's not true."
Merlin spread his arms out and looked around.
"Do I? Every time you're over at my place you always seem a little on edge. Why is that? Because it's not home or is it something else?"
"What are you talking about?" Arthur said finally raising his voice.
"I'm talking about how lately it seems like every time we're together we fight. We never used to fight! What's going on? Do you not like me anymore, is that it? Are you tired of me?"
Arthur stood up and began to pace.
"Of course not! How could you even think that?"
Merlin stood up too and put himself in Arthur's path.
"Because we argue and bicker and hardly ever have a nice thing to say to each other anymore. That's not how people act when they're in a happy relationship. The only thing I can think is that you don't want to be in this relationship anymore."
Arthur poked Merlin in the chest and said, "Maybe it's you that doesn't want to be in this relationship anymore. It's you that's brought this all up after all."
Merlin let out a mirthless laugh.
"Oh that's rich! You're going to blame this on me? Really?"
"You started this fight!" Arthur yelled.
"This one, fine. But the others? I think you've started your fair share of our fights, Arthur!" Merlin yelled back.
"Fine! At least I'm not the one talking about leaving!"
"I didn't say anything about leaving!"
Arthur ran both hands over his face but he couldn't make himself calm down.
"Then what are you saying, Merlin? What do you want from me? Do you want me to tell you that I'm sorry and that I'll never argue with you again? Well, news flash, I can't say that!"
Merlin shook his head and looked out the window.
"No, Arthur. All I wanted was to know that you cared about me like I care about you, but obviously, that was asking too much."
He grabbed his coat and began to put his shoes on.
"Merlin, where are you going?" Arthur demanded.
Merlin finished putting his shoes on and then said, "I'm leaving. I'm not going to stay when it seems like I'm just wasting my time here. Tell Emily I'm sorry."
He opened the door and Arthur ran forward. He caught it before it could close and yelled down the hallway, "So that's it, then? You're leaving? Fine! Leave!"
Merlin stopped before he got to the stairs and looked back at Arthur. He ignored the tears falling down his cheeks and simply said, "Goodbye, Arthur."
He took off down the stairs and all Arthur could do was listen as his footsteps faded away. When all was silent he slammed his door shut and collapsed against it. Before he could even attempt to stop himself, he began to cry. He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there, but eventually he felt Emily's hand on his head.
"Daddy? Why are you crying?" she asked.
He pulled her into his arms and hugged her. She hugged him back and began stroking his hair.
"Daddy?" she asked again.
"Merlin's gone, Emily. He's gone and he's not coming back." he told her.
Emily wiggled out of his grasp and asked, "Why not?"
"I said some things that I shouldn't have. We had a fight and he left."
She tugged on his hand and tried to get him to move.
"Then call him and say you're sorry! Tell him to come back!"
Arthur shook his head.
"It's not that simple, Emily."
"Yes it is! You can't just let him leave, Daddy!"
"I already did. There's nothing I can do. I'm sorry."
"No! You have to make him come back! You have to!"
Arthur stood up and began walking down the hall.
"I can't. It's over."
He walked into his room and locked the door. Emily ran for the phone and dialed Merlin's number. He didn't answer, so she tried again. It took five times before he answered.
"I don't want to talk to you, Arthur!" he yelled into the phone and Emily could tell that he was crying.
"It's not Daddy." Emily said.
"Emily? What are you doing up?"
"Daddy was crying and woke me up. Why did you leave?"
"It's complicated, Emily. I just couldn't stay anymore."
"Are you ever coming back?"
"I don't think so, sweetie. I'm sorry."
"You can't stay gone forever! My daddy loves you! He's sorry for what he said, please come back!"
"I don't think your daddy loves me, Emily."
"He does! He was crying because you left and he's still crying. Daddy never cries! Please, you have to come back!"
"I can't, Emily, I just can't."
Emily was now crying too.
"What about me? I love you too! Don't you love me?"
"Of course I do! I love you so much, Emily."
"Then come back! Please, Dad!"
There was silence on the other end of the line for a while and all Emily could hear was ragged breathing and a few choked sobs.
"I'm not your dad."
"Yes you are! You love me and take care of me just like a dad does."
"You already have a dad, and he's a great dad."
"I know that, but that doesn't mean I can't have another one. I want you to be my dad too! I'll never be happy again if you don't come back, and neither will Daddy!"
"Emily, I…"
"Give him another chance, Dad. Just one more chance, please! You still love him, don't you?"
"More than you'll ever know."
"Then give Daddy another chance. I know he loves you just as much as you love him. Just one more chance."
"Alright. I'll give him one more chance, but that doesn't mean I'm coming back tonight. I'll try and call him tomorrow. Now, you should go to bed."
"Okay. Goodnight, Dad. I love you."
"I love you too, Emily."
She hung up the phone and then went and sat outside her father's bedroom door. She could still hear him crying, even though he was trying to be quiet. She leaned back against the door and closed her eyes.