Chapter 2: Why to use the book


"My dignity. That is just one of the things that I'll lose."

"Who gives a shit about dignity when you're getting laid." Typical Nate comment.

"I don't know what I was thinking when I dated you Nate. You're an ass."

"I don't think it matters anyways. You did dump me for dean." Yeah, I don't know what was going through my mind at the time. I hope that de didn't feel offended or anything. I lay my head on his shoulder.

"FYI, you're better at making out than he is. I don't know what it is he did." Let's not even start about the garlic breath.

"Pfft, I am the best kisser ever. I taught you all you know." I was about twelve or so. What in the world do you know at twelve?

"I forgot to thank you for that."

"I think you're forgetting I'm here. I really didn't need to know that." I grin towards Justin. As a perfect opportunity to annoy him I dart my tongue towards Nate and wiggle it. "Groooss." He holds a pillow up to face pretending to puke.

"Hey, Miley got me that for my birthday." What a cheap ass gift.

"Who gives someone a pillow for their birthday?" Nate throws his head on my lap and giggles.

"Getting back to our real conversation. You're not using the book?"

"Justin, drop the topic. No."

"Hey. Justin is right stop changing the topic and give me an answer. Why won't you use the book?" Nate smile looking up at me.

"I don't need the book, Alex. I could get you right now if I wanted." I scoff and reach for Mitchie's notebook.

"I should return this t--" Nate snatches it from my hand.

"Are you loco? If you give it back to her she'll know you read it. Think, Alex." I'm not going to lie, he does have a point. "See that's your problem. You do things without thinking at all. You love being this free indomitable person and you mess up. Miley didn't dump you because she doesn't love you, she dumped you because you're guided by your instinct and you don't think at all."

"It always ends up with Miley doesn't it? We were talking about a damn book."

"You always change the topic when it gets to something you can't handle."

"I can't handle Miley? Is that what you think? Obviously you're wrong if we dated for like…three years." Was it three years? I push Nate off my lap and climb off the bed.

"That's only because she didn't know how to break up with you. She was always trying to break up with you." What kind of friend is he? I can't seem to understand where he is getting at. First he brings Miley up and then breaks me with this new piece of information. Nice.

"Really, since when?"

"Nate, just stop." Justin tries and Nate ignores him.

"A long time, Alex. She always talked about how jealous you were and possessive. Sometimes you ignored her and when she didn't want to be with you, you got all needy." How the hell was I supposed to guess that she wasn't in the mood.

"She really said that?" Nate nods and I stand from my bed only to be pulled again.

"Where are you going?" I try to free myself from the boy unsuccessfully.

"I'm going to beat the crap out of her. Let go." I will kick his nuts if he doesn't let go first.

"Stop being so biased. It wasn't only Miley who did something wrong in your relationship. She really did love you. You just fucked up and she got over you."

"How the hell did she love me when she cheated on me? Tell me how that makes sense to you because to me it just doesn't." I keep on struggling to free myself.

"I just want to go and get a drink."

"Yeah, right. I'll go and get you some Kool-aid myself." I smile to myself. I had spiked the Kool-aid in the fridge to play a prank on Justin and his girlfriend who were supposed to have a date today. I hope there's some left for him and Juliet to drink anyways.

"Give me.' I whined. I guess no one is as dumb as I thought. Or maybe Nate needs to stop taking sips out of my kool-aid.

"Alex I can't believed you spiked up the kool-aid."

"Juliet and I were going to drink some of that. Do you have any idea of what could have happened?" Justin points and accusing finger at me and I throw my head back laughing.

"Yes, you finally would have nailed her." At least Nate giggled at the joke. Seriously what is wrong with his girly giggles? It's like a five-year old girl.

"That is not funny, Alex. I'm telling mom as soon as she gets home from Aunt Clarice's."

"See, I'm trying to help you out with your girl and you pay me by snitching?"

"If I needed help I'd read your book."

"Ugh, no more talking of the book, already…or Miley. Just leave me alone." My body drops on my bed on something hard. Oh, that's the porn cassettes I stole from grandpa. Shit. I thought I hid those…in a better place than under my sheets.

"Alex…" Justin starts and sits next to me on top of some of the vcr's . Crap. "Your bed is so stiff." He makes a face while he tries to make himself feels comfy.

"Uh…blame it on dad. He's the one that's always trying to fix things." he gives me a weird look.

"What? Dad didn't try to fix your bed, you barely let anyone in here."

"That reminds me. OUT!"

"You heard her--"

"You too!" I push Nate out the door and he puts a little resistance.

"What did I do?" I press the door against him.

"Leave me alone!" I can't believe I spent almost a whole day reading a book and thinking about Miley. This has to be the worst Saturday ever. At least I still have some of that tequila I stole from dad on Cinco de Mayo. Man, I love being Mexican.

I take the cap off and leave it laying on the floor. It's not like I'm going to need it, I'm drinking the rest of this bottle alone.

"Alex, open this door right now."

"No, Ma'am. I'm lovesick so I'm about to drink and watch 1990's porn, haha." I giggle to myself. This is going to be one heck of a Saturday." I smile to myself as I insert the tape in the TV without letting go of the bottle.

"What?" Shut up! Gosh, I'll turn on the surround sound. Clutching the remote I smile and turn the volume to max. Looks like grandpa forgot to rewind the tape. Damn, it.

"Alex, damn it. You have porn? You mother--"

I turn my attention to the medium-sized HD plasma TV in front of me. A funny little fellow in a large Mexican hat is wearing tight jeans bathing in the sun. The loud sounds of a tropical scenery drowns Justin and Nate's yelling.

"Excuse me, sir. Is there a restaurant nearby? My friend and I are starving." The guy takes off his hat showing a soft tan and a huge smirk.

"Of course, mamacitas. I take you to the Pechanga."

"I'll take Mitchie to my Pechanga. She can have an all-expenses paid buffet." With no one to laugh I decide to strip my bed and cover myself. I take a long sip from the tequila and regret it as it leaves a burn on the back of my tongue.

"Oh, is this the Taco Bell?" Man this is the worse acting ever. Let me not even start on the quality of the video. I am to tired to plug in my laptop. That thing has no battery.

"No mamacita pero I got a mega burrito for you." Damn this tequila must be working fast, I got another bad joke coming up.

"I got a taco for you, Mitchie. Chicano style. I don't know what that means but…" I stuff my face with the bottle playing with the opening. Looking back at the TV I see the girls making over-exaggerated faces at the guy's crotch.

Oh god this is lame. "I want lesbian porn…or sex. Damn it Mitchie you taco-hater." mages of Miley punch me in the face as I feel a little tipsy. Switching the porn off I look at the pillow Miley gave me. "You always wanted to break up with me, huh? Here I was, thoughting that you and me back." Is thoughting a word? Oh, who gives a shit? "You fucking liar. All you want to do is play with my brain." I graps the pillow Miley gave me and smash it on my lips. "Hah! There you go. I made out with someone else! What now, Miley?" I throw my hands in the air feigning a ghetto alter ego.

"Crap, Miley. Just be my damn girlfriend again."

"…" Of course what do I expect from a pillow full of spit and tequila?

"I know what I'm going to do. I'll sing her a song. She always gave me everything I wanted when I told her I'd sing. She must really love my singing." rising with a new sense of triumph in my head I decide to sneak out the window. Dad'll probably be home in a few minutes and I like to climb down trees, anyways. Makes me feel sexy. As soon as the violent whispers of the night knock against my face I climb on the branch. I push myself backwards a little bit angling my leg for the lower branch. Before I know it I miss the branch and land perfectly on the grass.

"Yeah, man I kick ass. This substation has nothing on me." I speed-walk towards Miley's house which is not so close to mine. About a quarter of a mile really, but when you're a little tipsy like I am and you seem to trip over everything it seems a thousand miles away.

Making it to the mahogany door I press my clear-polished nail against the door-bell lingering on it for a while.

"Open the damn doooor, gah!" I mutter a little drowsy. Ay, mi Madre they better open this puta door. And why the hell am I thinking like a Chicano?

"Who the hell--Alex?" I cringe back a little bit.

"Hola senora. Miley esta?" Tiffany scrunches up her brows a bit and then smiles stroking my arm.

"I'm glad you're finally learning Spanish, Alex but you know I have no idea what you just said." I scratch the back of my head a little absent for words. Well, then maybe I am a little drunk. Heh, no harm in that.

"Where's Miley, senorita." Tiff, claps her hands, enthusiastic.

"See, I told you that in time you would acquire the Chicano accent." Idiota. "Anyways, Miley's at Baskin robbins with that girl. Lilly. Oh, I don't see what she finds in that little blondie. She is so dry."

"Si, es un pe--" I flip when I hear a honk and almost hump, la senorita, Tiffany. My, estupido amigo, Nate is calling me.

"Ay, dios, gracias Tiff." She smiles and makes her way back to the house. I walk slowly to the car watching my step. As I open the door to the car a knuckle meets my left arm. "Putisima madre!"

"What was tha--Alex are you speaking Spanish? You're drunk aren't you?" He slams his hand on the rueda.

"No estoy boracha, dumbass." He looks at me uneasy.

"I'm taking you home, Alex. You're-- how do you not let me watch some porn too? You're the worst best-friend."

"Ay, puto. I'll make it up to you." He looks at me a little indignant.

"Mentirosa." I am not a liar.

"Es--wait a minute. You have such a gringo accent."

"What are you talking about, mija. I rolls my r's perfectly."

"Nah, you're pathetic." He glares at me playfully.

"Tu. Eres. Ridicula." Fail.

"You have to roll your tongue. Roll it!" He sticks out his tongue and sends wads of spits everywhere.

"Roll it, puta."

"I can't." Patetico.

"Just imagine a big fat clit in front of you and roll that bitch!"

"Wha--" The clatter of metal hits our eardrums before Nate can finish his sentence. "Puta. Madre."

I open the door to see Nate's car against a parked Toyota.

"On the bright side. You did roll your 'R' that time. Felicitaciones!" I envelope the boy and he's muttering something, I don't know in what language it is but I know it's not good. I turn around scared and something unpleasant fills my vision.