Dear Readers,
SP01LARZ AHEAD!
Sincerely,
-DA.
Dear Warthog,
Om Nom Nom!
Sincerely,
The Brute Chopper.
Dear Noble Six,
For a brick, you flew pretty good!
Sincerely,
Jorge.
Dear Jorge,
Hands off the merchandise.
Sincerely,
Female Noble Six.
Dear Kat,
Hey-Chicka-Bump-Bump!
Sincerely,
A whole lotta people.
Dear Skirmisher,
BOOM! HEAD- No, wait.
BOOM! HE- Seriously, hold frickin' still!
Sincerely,
Frustrated.
Dear Spartan 117
CC: Arbiter.
YOU! SHALL NOT! PASS!
Sincerely,
343 Guilty Spark.
Dear Sergeant Johnson,
Send me out with a bang huh?
That's the last time I listen to you.
Sincerely,
Stranded in deep space.
Dear Flood,
Screw You!
Sincerely,
The entire human race.
Dear Jun,
What part of "do it quiet" involves firing a high caliber sniper rifle!
Sincerely,
Stealth, look it up.
Dear Covenant Carrier,
Imma firin' mah...I don't even know what this thing is called.
Sincerely,
But it makes pretty explosions!
Dear Marty O'Donnel,
O.M.G.
Sincerely,
Eargasming.
Dear Cone,
Protect me!
Sincerely,
Grif.
Dear Jackals,
I preferred it when I could still give you handjobs...with my pistol.
Sincerely,
Where did your mind go?
Dear Sergeant Major Avery Johnson,
Bip-Bap-Bam this!
Sincerely,
The Ark.
Dear MLG,
In a playlist of supposed skill, there is a rocket launcher.
Sincerely,
HUH!
Dear Brute Chieftan,
MOTHER!
Sincerely,
Peed myself the first time.
Dear Decoy,
Run Forrest, Run!
Sincerely,
A tired cliche.
Dear Recently Slain Foe,
Teabag, Teabag, Tea-
ASSASSINATION!
Don't be a n00b.
Sincerely,
Righteous Justice
Dear Scorpion,
So, do the ladies like you?
Sincerely,
That is what he was referring to, right?
Dear Emile,
Is the magnetic butt clamp standard issue?
Sincerely,
How are you not falling off?
Dear Prophet of Regret,
You're working too hard.
Sincerely,
Gravemind.
Dear ONI Sword Base Communications Officer,
I get it.
Sincerely,
William Shatner.
Dear Emile,
Really? NOW you decide to go all heroic death on me?
Sincerely,
Fine, I'll fire the damn gun.
Dear Noble Six,
He was a lousy shot anyways.
Sincerely,
Captain Keyes.