Edward

"How could you let this happen?" asked Mom, her voice filled with confusion and hurt. "I thought we raised you better than that."

"I didn't know about her until last night," I protested. "I was always careful in college when I had sex. You know there's no 100% effective method of birth control."

"Abstinence, son," sighed Dad. "Abstinence is 100% effective."

"Well I'm sorry but that was not something I was willing to do." Dad's jaw tightened but he didn't say anything else.

"Well, she's down for the night. She's exhausted so she should sleep pretty well."

I turned and couldn't help but smile at Bella coming down the stairs. Her hair was still up in the messy bun she'd put it in before dinner and it was sending out that sexy school girl vibe. Or sexy librarian. Or sexy housewife. Sexy Bella.

"Son."

I shook myself and returned to the conversation. Dad looked amused and Mom wasn't even trying to hide her smile. Bella lightly shoved my head as she settled on the chair beside me.

"So what's the situation with her?" Dad asked, leaning back in his chair.

"Her mother is a woman I was friendly with in college," I explained. Bella snorted. "I hadn't seen her since Spring Break of my junior year and apparently, that's when she got pregnant. She said she tried to come by in the fall but saw me with Bella and didn't want to interfere in my life. She thought I looked happy and she felt like she could do this on her own. Obviously she can't and now we've got Katie."

"How old is she?"

"She'll be seven on Saturday."

Bella's raised her eyebrows at that.

"And how long will she be with you?" Dad was leaning forward now, his elbows on his knees as he looked at us.

"Indefinitely."

Mom's eyebrows raised. "Her mother just dumped her on you?"

"She told us that she's going to Thailand for six months," Bella said, leaning forward and speaking in a low voice. "Then she skipped out in the middle of the night and left a note with Katie's stuff that essentially said she's not coming back."

"Ever?"

"She's sick," I said quietly. "AIDS. She wrote in the note that she's going to some experimental treatment center and if it doesn't help, she wanted to make sure that Katie was in good hands."

"And if it does work?"

I looked at Dad and he shook his head. "Nothing works, Esme. There's no cure for AIDS, just ways of dragging out the inevitable."

"Does she have it? Do you?"

"I'm clean. I got tested on a regular basis before Bella."

"The note said she contracted it a couple years ago," offered Bella, reaching over and grabbing my hand. "We plan on taking Katie to see a doctor soon and getting her completely checked out. We'll also have to get her enrolled in school and buy her some new clothes." Bella stopped then, looking down at our hands. I'd laced my fingers in hers and was squeezing tightly. "I suppose I can try to make arrangements for time off at the school but with only three weeks before the Christmas holiday it might be difficult."

"I can watch her," Mom spoke up immediately.

We all looked at her with surprise and, to my shock, my mother actually blushed.

"She may be the only grandchild I ever have and I've missed the first seven years. I'd like to spend some time with her."

Bella flinched slightly. She wanted a baby so much that Mom's words hurt her, even though it was unintentional.

"She seems really accepting of her situation," Dad tried to ease the slight tension. "She's talkative, too."

I nodded. "She knows who I am and doesn't really seem to have a problem with the fact that I wasn't around before now."

"She's a sweetheart," said Bella softly. "I think she'll be as good for us as we are for her."

The conversation went on for hours, not really getting anywhere. We knew what we needed to do for Katie and we knew that we needed to make the custody legal so Tanya's parents couldn't come along and try to get Katie. Finally, around midnight, I walked them out while Bella gathered up empty wine glasses and carried them into the kitchen. Her shoulders were slumped and she looked exhausted. I watched until Mom and Dad were on the road, taking a moment to breath in the cold crisp winter air. It was raining again, hard. Looked like there was a slim possibility we'd be iced in tomorrow. I had no objections to that and normally, Bella wouldn't either. She'd enjoy a day in bed with me just as much as I would with her but now there was Katie to think about.

I shut the door and locked it, turning out the lights downstairs as I checked all the doors and windows, verifying they were locked. I made my way into the kitchen after my check and paused in the doorway. Bella was standing at the kitchen sink, her hands idle on the edge of the counter. I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her, kissing the nape of her neck. She sighed and relaxed her body against mine.

"Am I just a total failure?" she asked in a small voice.

My jaw dropped. "What?"

"Well, I haven't given you a child so obviously your mom thinks I'm some kind of failure or something."

"She doesn't think that at all."

"You heard what she said, Edward." She shrugged out of my hold and grabbed a dishrag, needlessly wiping down the table.

"You're not a failure, Bella. This is not just about you."

"Obviously I'm the problem, Edward. You've fathered a child. You're fine."

She was close to tears now and I was a little bewildered as to where exactly this came from. I reached for her but she flinched away from me. "Don't touch me. I don't want to be touched right now."

I sighed and ran my hands over my face. I studied her, two feet and a world away from me and shook my head. "No. You're crying and I'm your husband and I'm going to attempt to comfort you, dammit." I grabbed her and pulled her against my chest, hugging her tightly. She was stiff at first, pulling away from me before she started crying harder and sagged against my chest. "You're not a failure, Bella. You're my everything. I want kids and I want them with you but if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. We'll adopt, we'll be foster parents. Hell, we'll kidnap someone." She laughed softly

"I'd really rather not break the law," she mumbled.

"Well, same here, but I don't want you to think that I think any less of you because we haven't had a baby of our own."

She was quiet then, thinking. I could almost hear the hamster on the wheel. "I've loved being your wife and the only one for the last seven years, please don't doubt that, but I really want to share our love with someone else. I think we should still look into adoption, even with Katie."

"I'll do anything you want, Bella. Anything." I pulled back and locked eyes with her. Her eyes were red rimmed and her nose was pink. She gave me a faint smile and nodded, stepping back and wiping at her eyes. "I love you."

She grinned. "I love you too."

Bella

I lay in the big bed, listening to the howling of the wind around the house and the soft popping of the logs in the fireplace. Edward was awake, I could tell by the way he was breathing, but he wasn't saying anything. In spite of his assurances, I still felt defective. Seemingly every woman around me was having children, women who didn't want them, and yet I wasn't.

I shifted in the bed, rolling over to face Edward in the darkness. I could see his face in the light of the fire, the planes seeming sharper and the hollows of his eyes darker. I reached forward with one hand and lightly brushed his hair out of his face. He smiled and reached up, wrapping those long beautiful fingers around my forearm and kissing my wrist. I wrapped my arm around his neck and kissed him, pulling him towards me. His smile widened and he shifted over me. I automatically wrapped my legs around him, kissing him and lifting my hips. He held his weight up with one arm and clumsily shifted down his boxers with the other hand. I pulled my nightgown up and he pressed into me. We locked eyes as he moved against me, panting softly. I smiled, sadly. I wouldn't get pregnant. Not now, probably not ever, but at least we could do this. At least we could make each other feel good.

"Bella?"

We both froze and looked towards the door. Katie was standing sleepily with Riley clutched to her chest. She was rubbing at her eyes so she didn't seem to realize what she'd walked in on. Edward quickly moved away from me, pulling his pants back up, muttering swear words under his breath.

"What's wrong sweetie?" I asked, wriggling my nightgown back down.

"I'm scared."

"Come here," I murmured, holding out my arms to her. She crossed the room quickly and crawled into the bed beside me. I cuddled her against my chest and smoothed her hair. "What are you scared of?"

"The wind and the thunder and lightning."

I nodded. "I get scared of that stuff sometimes, too." I felt Edward pressing his chest to my back and smiled to myself that Mr. Happy was still very much awake.

"We've got to finish or I'm going to explode…maybe literally," he muttered in my ear.

I smiled and swatted him away from me.

"Can I stay here with you?"

"Of course you can. Go to sleep ok?"

"Ok."

I heard Edward growl lightly in my ear and it sent that familiar little thrill through my body, pulsing between my legs. Usually I loved how he could turn me on with a simple sound. Currently, it was really inconvenient.

Katie dropped off to sleep fairly quickly and Edward propped himself up, looking down at her. "Ok, she's cockblocked me twice today. Meet me in the bathroom or the no masturbation rule goes out the window."

I rolled my eyes but nodded anyway. I needed the release almost as much as he did. He rolled out of bed and shuffled awkwardly to the bathroom. I grinned and waited a minute until I knew for sure Katie was out before following him.

He was sitting on the lid of the toilet, looking at me expectantly. I bit back a laugh as I closed and locked the bathroom door and then walked towards him. He'd draped a towel over the lid and was sitting bare assed on it, his pajama pants on the little bench by the shower.

"What's with the towel?" I laughed.

"Are you kidding me? It's cold in here. I do not want shrinkage at a time like this."

I snorted and ruffled his hair. "You're so vain."

"Whatever. You know you wanna ride my disco stick."

I giggled and nodded. "Against all reason, I really do." He grinned and lifted my nightgown, pulling me forward so I was straddling him, then carefully guided me down and onto him, stopping only when he was fully inside me. He rested his forehead against mine, his breath hot minty puffs against my face.

"This, right here, is my favorite place in the world. I'd go here every day a dozen times if I could."

I smiled and cupped his face in my hands. "And I'd let you if it wouldn't kill me."

He laughed softly and started to pull me against him. I dropped my hands to his shoulders and rocked with him. His hands were warm and firm on my hips, his thumbs pressing on my clit and his fingers digging into my skin.

"Come with me, Bella," he panted. "I won't last that long I've been denied so much today."

I nodded and ground against him harder, determined to get there with him. He was close, I could feel it, and I was close, really on the brink. We'd actually not come together in a while and I missed that.

"Fuck, come Bella, now." He lightly bit on my neck, his tongue darting out immediately to soothe the sting. I shuddered, clenching around him as I felt him shuddering against me.

I sagged against him, completely spent. He wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned back awkwardly on the toilet tank. I rested against his chest, panting with him.

"That was nice."

He laughed softly, rubbing my back. "Nice? Hell no, that was great."

I pressed a kiss against his chest and carefully stood up. My legs were like jelly so I grabbed on to the towel rack for balance as I cleaned myself up. Edward grinned as he grabbed a hand towel and wiped himself a little. I headed into the bedroom and crawled into bed, pulling Katie back against me. She was still fast asleep and though I felt a little guilty pulling her against my body it wasn't enough for me not to do it. I felt the mattress sag behind me as Edward crawled in and spooned me.

"Thanks for that," he murmured, kissing my neck.

I smiled. "Thank you," I whispered, looking over my shoulder. He kissed me lightly and then wrapped his arms around both of us.

Edward

I was back in the house in Decatur and 19-year-old Bella was wearing that sexy little nightie I'd bought her our first Valentine's Day together, her hair all around her shoulders and wild, her lips red and swollen from kissing me. She was stretched out on the bed in the attic, patting it and motioning for me to come over. I didn't need to be asked twice.

I crawled over her, wrapping around her and kissing her like crazy. I loved the feel of her against me, her hands shyly exploring my body the way she used to before she knew it as well as her own. Her little moans and kisses were driving me crazy. I wanted to take this slow, though. I moved my hand down to that special place of hers and she started giggling again, like she used to, like I missed. Her fingers dug into my shoulders as her hips bucked against my hand. Her lips curved into that sexy smile and her eyes locked onto mine. I loved watching her face as she came undone around me.

"Edward."

I frowned. She wasn't panting my name or screaming it or anything, not like I wanted her to. She was speaking plainly, her voice soft. I moved my hand more firmly.

"Edward, wake up."

I groaned. Another dream. Fuck, I hated it when I had such vivid dreams. I mean, it was great they were about my wife and they were so erotic I woke up just about ready for my own release, but sometimes, I felt like I was cheating on Bella with…Bella.

I rolled over and reached up, grabbing her soft warmth and pulling her down into the bed with me. "Just a little longer? I have someone who wants to play." I grabbed her hand and moved it down to my crotch.

"Edward, stop." There was no teasing in her voice and I sighed and released her. "Rose and Alice are on their way over to go shopping. The boys have baby duty and we're taking Katie with us. You're welcome with either party."

"Can I stay home and sleep?"

"Sure, but we're all meeting up for lunch at the café."

I nodded and yawned. "Call and wake me up an hour before?"

She laughed softly and leaned over, kissing me lightly. "I love you."

"Love you too."

"Need anything?"

"Just you."

She toyed with my hair. "Later, Love." She kissed my forehead again and she was gone. I rolled over and grabbed her pillow, hugging it to my chest and drifting back to sleep. I loved how she smelled. Maybe I could get back to that dream.