The Reality Part 3
As Kathryn waited for the Flyer to get close enough that Chakotay could be transported she found herself spent of tears. The doctor allowed her the release knowing that she really needed to let her emotions out. He couldn't give a reassuring word until he sees him for himself. So he just stayed quiet and gave the privacy she needed.
"Delta Flyer to sickbay. Doctor, prepare to receive Mr. Paris with Commander Chakotay. We will be in range in two minutes."
"Affirmative Mr. Paris. We are ready."
The doctor and Haley, the holographic assistant that was sent to Voyager upon Dr. Zimmerman's death a year ago, had prepared the surgical bay to receive him. Surgical instruments were ready. Synthetic blood was replicated to match Chakotay's. In moments the familiar figures materialized in sickbay and the stretcher was brought over to the bed. The doctor scanned him and started braking orders.
" Excuse me Captain", speaking as he was adjusting monitors and Haley began cutting his clothes away and Tom was removing the components of the stretcher, "you must leave the area so we can work. I will speak to you as soon as he is stabilized."
Backing away she went back to the office. She could see through the glass that there was something happening but what that entailed was anybody's guess.
It was forty-five minutes later that B'lanna came rushing in to sickbay. Seeing Kathryn through the glass she immediately went there.
"So, how is he?"
"The doctor is doing surgery now. Tom and Haley are assisting.
They haven't come out yet. I've been waiting here for a while. Oh B'lanna, I can't loose him too."
She began to cry again and feeling as helpless as Kathryn did she just held her Captain and cried with her. This man was special to both of them.
It was another hour before the doctor came to his office.
"I've stopped the bleeding in the spleen. His hip and femur had been repaired on the Flyer but needed additional work after transferring. The brain is another story. He suffered a fractured skull but had a hematoma forming in two areas of the brain. I got both under control and thanks to you B'lanna the swelling was minimal. But his brain waves are less than stellar. I'd like to see some better wave formations on the EEG but I am not seeing that yet. With time he may improve."
"He MAY improve? Are you telling me he might not improve? He might stay like this?"
"He is in a coma Captain. The brain still remains a mystery in so many ways. Let's wait a few hours. Go back to your quarters and I'll call you if there's any change."
"No. I'm staying here. I'll talk to him. Maybe he'll hear me and respond."
"He's still has anesthesia in him. It will be an hour before he is able to respond. At least eat something."
"I can't think of eating now."
"Well you have to! You have two more lives to think about."
Hearing the exchange B'lanna volunteered to get something for both of them."
"I'll go grab a shower and be back down Doc. I'll meet you back here Bella. We'll stay with her Doc to make sure she eats."
"Very well. I'll be at the bedside watching the scans. I'm also checking his blood cell production and oxygen utilization at the cellular level.
"You'd better a little more Captain. A spoonful of soup is not what the doctor ordered. Here, have half a sandwich."
"Thanks Tom. I'm not really hungry though."
"Humor me than. At least feed those babies eh?"
"Fine." Taking bites she just starred off, not focusing on anything in particular. She finally finished her sandwich when the doctor came back.
"Captain, you may come and sit by his bed. The anesthesia has worn off but he is still unresponsive. I can't give you an answer to the question of when of if he will wake up. Time will give us that. But please make it brief and go rest in bed. I will call you of ANY change in his condition."
All three of them went to him. Tom pulled up a chair for Kathryn. He and B'lanna stood behind her. He looked peaceful. Kathryn grabbed his hand and kissed his cheek. It took all she had not to break down. Tom could see she needed privacy so he signaled to his wife that they should go.
B'lanna walked to the other side of the bed and bending close to his ear she told him he was "needed on the bridge so he'd better wake up soon."
After they left the doctor lowered the lights and left her alone with her husband. She spoke to him now that they were alone.
"Please don't leave me Chakotay. You need to wake up. I wish I'd never sent you on this mission. Someone else could have gone! But then I'd still be here sitting like this with whatever crewmember lie here. I hate this. The not knowing if you'll be OK. Please wake up!"
Feeling helpless she stroked his arm, held his hand and stayed by his side for hours. The doctor found her with her head down next to his hand. She had fallen asleep next to him.
"Captain, I must insist you get some sleep. You need it. You'll be sick."
"I can't leave him. I can't. I feel helpless."
"As do I. But wearing yourself down isn't good for the babies."
Rubbing her belly she pondered briefly.
"In a little while Doctor." I don't want to leave just yet."
"Fine, but here", wrapping a blanket around her. "I have to lower his body temperature as he is having more brain swelling. I need to decrease the oxygen need by the brain cells so the ambient temperature is being lowered as well as his internal temperature. This will slow down the demand for oxygen, glucose and potassium. You may feel the effects so keep warm."
"Yes Doctor. And thank you. I know he's in good hands."
"Thank you Captain.
It was morning when Kathryn realized she had fallen asleep by his bedside. Her back and neck were a bit sore. The doctor was scanning him when Kathryn asked for an update.
I've been able to raise the temperature within his body, the swelling has improved. He's still not responsive. I'm sorry I can't offer more than that."
"I appreciate your honesty. I think I'll get freshened up and return."
"Captain, have something for breakfast, doctors orders. I will not hesitate to force feed you if needed."
"Yes doctor."
While the captain was away the doctor informed Tuvok of all that was transpiring in sickbay. He confirmed what the doctor knew would happen, that he would stay on duty as long as the Captain needed him to be. She didn't need the worry of the ship on her shoulders as well as the worry of her husband.
Haley stayed at his bedside. Medical knowledge and techniques were added to her program. She was able to learn new things as they came up and she became an able physician's assistant. The crew accepted her as they did the doctor.
When she came to Voyager the doctor was pleased to have been given the hologram in Dr. Zimmerman's will. He knew this program was very special to his mentor. He had met Haley when he was sent through the Midas Array to cure the holographic creator of an unknown illness. He was successful in giving Dr. Zimmerman three more years. It would have been longer but a real reptile that had been switched, as a joke, with Leonard, his holographic pet, bit him. But he was allergic to the saliva of this reptile and couldn't get medical help fast enough. He called out to Haley but had no hypospray ready. He died alone, as he seemed to live life.
She was sent up to Voyager after Reg Barclay relayed what happened and that in his will Dr. Zimmerman requested that she live on Voyager as holograms are treated with respect. She deserved to be used well and watched over for her safety. The doctor had done a great deal in developing her program medically and B'lanna had added algorithms that added to her emotional growth as well. If you didn't know she was a hologram you would think she was flesh and blood.
As Captain Janeway came back to sickbay Haley greeted her warmly and asked if she had eaten. When her reply was just coffee and a piece of toast Haley replicated bowl of ricotta cheese with blueberries. Placing the bowl in front of the Captain with a spoon and a napkin, the Captain turned to her.
"What's this?"
"Just a quick little something for your babies."
Putting it that way Kathryn picked up the bowl and began eating. It seemed small enough; she was not interested in having a large breakfast. She wanted to be near Chakotay in case he woke up. When she was done Haley took the bowl and recycled it.
"If there is anything I can do for you Captain please ask. I'm here to help."
"Thank you Haley, you're very kind. How do you like it here on Voyager?"
"I am very happy here with the crew and the doctor. Being a hologram he understands my limitations but watches out for me. I have made a lot of new friends too."
"It's a good crew Haley, Commander Chakotay is the best example of that. I don't know what I will do if he doesn't wake up."
"Captain, please have hope. Faith in the doctors skills and in Commander Chakotay's spirit will pull him through."
"Haley, that's a great idea. His spirit wheel. B'lanna brought it in here a long time ago when he was unresponsive. I have to get it."
"I'll stay with him Captain. You'll have to look for it because I have no idea where it is and I am confined to sickbay."
With that Kathryn was determined to find it and his medicine bundle. It is a personal item but Kathryn knew where he kept it and felt deep inside her that he would respond to it. Sure enough it was in the table by his side of the bed. Pulling it out she held his bundle close to her heart. She found the wheel in the closet in his old quarters, an area they are planning for a nursery. Getting back to sickbay she found B'lanna at his bedside.
"B'lanna, just the person I need to see. Pulling out the items B'lanna assisted in hanging the wheel. She was more familiar with its placement and Kathryn put his bundle under his hands. The two women then stepped back and seem to wait for a response from this man that was so important to both of them.
"How are you holding up Kathryn? I see you are beginning to bulge. The maternity pants came in handy. I'm glad I kept them, I knew someone would need them eventually."
"Yes B'lanna, they fit fine. My pants were so tight. I can't believe how fast my belly is growing. I only wish he could see it." Tears were welling up and threatening to overflow.
"Kathryn, have faith in his spirit."
The she wolf walked up a mountain. She reached a peak and howled.
"Wake up! Wake up! You have been asleep long enough. Your mate needs you."
Chakotay was aware of a presence with him. Who was it that called to him? She was a familiar spirit. She came to him at difficult times in his life. Her spirit enriched his life many times. She guided him. She was his spirit guide! His animal guide.
"I'm tired she wolf. You know that. I can't do this anymore. My life is unimportant. My mate will be all right with out me. She has lost people before, she'll get over it."
"Without you her heart will be lost. She will function, but she will hide away for a long time. And you have others to think about. New life responds to love, that you have more than enough. You must think of your young ones. They have not seen a sky, or expressed laughter, or felt the embrace of love. You must show them."
"I need time she wolf. I am very tired."
"Rest then, tomorrow will come. Do not give up."
Kathryn sat next to his bed for hours. B'lanna convinced her to get sleep in her bed. Tuvok assumed command during the day, Harry at night. She checked in with them every few hours. But days turned into weeks.
The captain started making her way back to the bridge. A few hours each morning, lunch in sickbay, and more time afternoons. She would finish her shift and stay in sickbay until late into the night. Her routine was endless and all were worried for her and the babies.
An away mission came and went. Voyager was restocked with food and mineral ore. Tuvok allowed some shore leave and rotations were assigned and carried out. The Captain was happy many of the crew took advantage of the hospitality of the new friends Voyager made. She herself stayed on Voyager throughout the encounter with this species. She wouldn't leave either Chakotay or her ship. They left orbit around the planet the evening of the third day.
When she entered the bridge the next morning the reports started coming in so she went into her ready room to read them. Engineering reported the warp core was working at peak efficiency due to the additional dilithium. Neelix's supplies of dry goods was excellent, fresh produce divided into the next few days meals and the rest frozen for future use.
Maintenance crews were cleaning carpets, walls, public rooms, turbo lifts, cargo bays and Jeffries tubes.
"It seems the ship is doing well. Janeway to Tuvok."
"Tuvok here Captain."
"Could you come in to the ready room please?"
"On my way. Tuvok out."
"Tuvok, I just want to thank you for allowing me the time to spend with Commander Chakotay these last few weeks. You have been so supportive of me. I have not been a very attentive Captain, and I just want you to know that I have noticed how much more you do and I have put such in my official logs. I will report the same the next time we are able to contact Starfleet, just when that will be is questionable as we haven't had success in such a long time."
"Captain, You are under a lot of strain. I feel it is my duty to alleviate your stress whenever I can. You are in a very unique situation and need to have fewer worries. If I am able to help in that way than I am just doing my job. I do not mind assuming bridge duty for as long as you need."
"You have always been a trusted friend Tuvok, thank you."
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She was now 28 weeks gestation but the doctor was concerned that she had only gained 10 pounds. She was pale with dark circles under her eyes. Although her belly was advancing in size, she looked drawn in her face. Haley gave her the special cheese mixture she replicated whenever she knew the Captain skipped a meal. It was packed with protein and glucose and supplemented with extra vitamins. It was a mixture she often gave to her mentor and creator, Dr. Zimmerman, when he was sick.
It was towards the end of her shift when the doctor notified her there was a change in the Commanders condition.
"Sickbay to Captain Janeway, Please come to sickbay at once. There is a situation here needing your attention."
She answered the call and as she stood and looked at Tuvok with a worried expression on her face he nodded his understanding. He would assume the bridge.
As she was making her way to the turbolift, Tuvok gave an order to Tom.
"Mr. Paris, by the sound of the doctors call you may be needed in sickbay. Please get down there quickly, Mr Andrews assume the Con."
Both men said in unison, "Aye Sir."
As soon as Tom entered sickbay his gut told him it wasn't good. "Paris to B'Elanna," he whispered into his comm. badge, "you'd better come to sickbay, Chakotay isn't good."
"On my way."
The doctor was administering cardiac medication when Kathryn had entered the room. "What's happening doctor?" she cried.
"He went into an arrhythmia. His heart is beating erratically. I'm trying to get it under control with inaprovaline but it's not working! Haley, get me adrenaline STAT! Tom, get a cardiac stimulator placed over the apex of his heart."
As the medical team worked to save him, Kathryn held his hand. "Chakotay please come back. I can't do this alone. I need you!" B'Elanna just stood behind her captain and held a hand on her shoulder.
********************=/\=***********************
"Wake up my son", called Chakotay's animal guide. It is time to go."
"I feel something. What is happening?" He cried. I am afraid."
"Chakotay, it is not like you to be afraid. What is wrong?"
"I feel out of place. Part of me is here, part of me is somewhere else."
"You are torn between the spirit world and the mortal one. But it is not your time yet. There are still things you must do. Go Back!"
"It HURTS!" He cried out to his animal guide. "My heart is on fire!"
*********************=/\=*********************
"200 joules Mr. Paris!" With that Chakotay's heart was shocked in an attempt to get it beating again. "Again" shouted the doctor.
"Please Chakotay, come back to me." Kathryn was now sobbing over her husband. She put her forehead on to Chakotay's. Her tears were pooling into his eyes.
"I have a heart beat." The doctor was quickly scanning and administering the appropriate medication.
Slowly Chakotay was opening his eyes. His vision was blurry; there was water in his eyes. Blinking, he looked up and saw his Kathryn.
"Chakotay, your alive! Can you hear me?"
"Kathryn, what's happening?"
B'Elanna was standing back now. Tears were running down her cheeks. Haley stepped back out of the way. The doctor scanned and rescanned his patient and reported that whatever caused the irregularity had stopped and his heart was beating with a regular rhythm and good strong beats. And his coma has lifted.
Kathryn was unable to speak she was an emotional wreck. She kept looking at Chakotay and shaking her head as if she couldn't believe it.
"Kathryn, what's wrong?"
"Nothing now. Your back with me."
"Commander, you suffered an accident back on the planet you were last at. It was several weeks ago, I'm afraid. You've been in a coma and have had this whole crew worried sick."
"I'm sorry, I don't remember."
"You may never remember Commander, but rest now. I think someone else needs to speak with you." Looking to the others he motioned for them to follow him out and give the Captain some time with her husband.
"Kathryn, I'm so sorry to have worried you."
"Chakotay, I was so scared. I'd thought I'd lost you a few times. I couldn't bear the thought of being without you."
"I felt that Kathryn. My spirit guide was with me, encouraging me to stay here, in this life."
"You mean you were on the verge of LEAVING this world?"
"I don't know. I just know that I was tired, and I needed guidance. But I'm here love. I didn't go anywhere. I'm here for you."
Putting her hands around his face she smiled. It was then that he remembered about the babies. "Kathryn, how are you? How are our girls?"
"Their fine, and I'm fine NOW!" Smiling she bent down to kiss his face.
The doctor came back to the bedside now. "I think I'd like to intervene at this time. Captain, you need to eat something and get off your feet. Commander, your body has been through a lot. You'll need some physical therapy to regain strength in your extremities and to increase your overall stamina. It will take time, rest and nourishment. Starting tomorrow you will have a regimen to follow but for tonight I'd like you to rest and begin taking fluids orally. You've been maintained on gastric feedings that have maintained your chemical balance but you have lost weight."
Both Kathryn and Chakotay looked at the doctor, then at each other. "Whatever you say doctor."
Word of the Commander's recovery spread through the ship at warp 10. Tom and B'Elanna were ecstatic when they entered the Mess Hall and met up with Harry. Neelix made a tray to be taken down to sickbay with something light for the Commander and nutritious for the Captain.
By 1900 hours Kathryn was showing signs of exhaustion. The doctor encouraged her to return to her quarters for sleep but she wouldn't leave her husband's side. Chakotay looked at her and pleaded with her, " I feel so guilty putting you through this Kathryn. Please go get some sleep in our bed. I'm OK. I'll join you in the morning I'm sure, isn't that right doctor?"
"We'll see tomorrow Commander. For now Captain he is stable and his heart is beating beautifully. He has a lot to live for."
Patting her belly Chakotay looked at her. "Go on Kathryn, please."
Haley joined in at this point. "Captain, I'll stay nearby throughout the night. I don't require sleep so I'll call you if he needs you during the night."
"Thank you Haley. OK, I will. Good night my love" kissing him on the forehead, then the cheek, then the lips.
"Why does she leave here when you say something but when she knows I'll be here during the night she refuses to leave?"
"Because I let her know that she is an important part of his care and I wouldn't hesitate calling her. And I give compassionate care while you give clinical care. At some part, Doctor, I learned from Dr. Zimmerman that sometimes technology needs to be balanced with compassion, especially when dealing with humans."
"Thank you Haley. I'll remember that."
"Anytime Doctor."
The next few months flew by. Kathryn was visibly more pregnant now having tripled her weight gain since Chakotay's recovery. They both worked their shift and ate three square meals a day in the Mess Hall with the crew and enjoy late night snacks in theirs or the Paris' quarters. The crew threw a baby shower and since Voyager was well stocked with fuel and food everyone had extra replicator rations that they used for baby gifts. The happy couple now had a crib, high chair, playpen, clothes, a hand made blanket by Naomi who had been taught by the Captain during another crewmember's pregnancy. Now all they needed were the babies.
With four weeks to go the doctor was restricting Kathryn's working to four hours/day. "Doctor, why do I have to leave the bridge at 1100 hours? I am fully capable of sitting in my chair on the bridge, I am not overexerting myself from a chair!"
"Captain, you know as well as I do that should a situation occur you'll be right in the middle of it. You forget to delegate. You are retaining water and sitting with your feet down is causing you to have swollen ankles. You need to get your feet up, and rest often. As I have said multiple births have a higher incidence of prematurity."
"Fine, I'll go into my ready room and put my feet up on the couch, would that make you happy?"
"Well, if that's all the cooperation I'll be getting I'll take it."
As she left sickbay she didn't see the smile on his face. He was going to allow her to work a full shift as long as she didn't work past her shift. But by letting her think she was manipulating him he manipulated her into cutting back to four hours/day and being a couch potato for four. He was definitely learning how to deal with stubborn Captains.