Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing, just the plot bunny ;)
A/N:More heartbreak I'm afraid guys! Thanks for the reviews...
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- While In Wonderland -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
As Penelope sat watching his frozen features her heart broke over and over again.
This look, the one where he didn't react to her at all, was the one that had greeted her for the past couple of days. She was greeted with the unmoved position, the unresponsive behaviour and all Penelope's mind could do was cast her back to their wonderland. Keep her trapped in reality as she looked in at what had once been.
Penelope was feeling the stress of it. The weight of the situation was sitting on her heavily, crippling her already fragile body. However, she couldn't leave, she couldn't simply lay in a bed in her room and ignore that Derek was comatose and, as it stood, never going to wake up again.
She might never see his smile again, or hear his deep husky voice, or feel the strength of his arm as it looped around her body to pull her close so that he could electrify her with one simple kiss. She might never get to hear him whisper her name in the middle of the night, or get to hear him say he loved her.
Taking his hand in hers again she tried her mantra again.
"You need to wake up, Handsome." She told him, "I can't take much more of the silent treatment from you, Sugar. I need you to wake up and show me a cheeky grin, offer me some hope here, even if just a little twitch. I need you to wake up because life is getting so hard to live right now. I don't know how much more I can take." She sniffed back the tears, and dipped her head, "I know you always see me as some strong, independent woman but I'm not, I need you here to be that. Please, Derek, I need you to wake up for me now. I'm done waiting. Please come home to me. Please"
Penelope wiped her face free of tears, clearing way for the new onslaught. It was a losing battle; everything was so broken around her. Everyone had been looking at her like she was some pillar of support, when in actual fact she had no strength to support herself properly at that moment in her life.
She looked up at the distraught face of Fran and Derek's sisters. They were her family as much as Derek's; they were a unit, a clan. She could see from Fran's eyes alone that she couldn't lose Derek as much as it hurt to contemplate a life without him for herself, Fran couldn't lose her son.
"It's you he needs, Penelope," Fran almost made it sound like a plea, "You're the one that's going to bring him back. All you need to do is talk to him."
Penelope nodded her head, ignorant of how exhausted she was becoming, regardless of just how much her body was screaming in pain. She felt she owed it to Derek's family, to their team to somehow coerce him back to the land of the living.
She knew it was irrational, but she had been the one that had sat in perfect bliss with him had felt his love and his yearn to make up for what could've been lost while they lived in the dream like world. No one else had been there, it was all down to her and Derek and the connection of their souls.
It had been the one thing that had coursed her veins while she had laid awake the entire night. The one thing that had raced in her mind. The one thing that had tortured her.
Since waking up, everyone seemed to see her as this new lease of life. If she had survived then Derek was bound to survive too, but he needed her and it was now seen that it was down to her to bring him back, to be his saviour, his hero.
Yet, in all of this, no one seemed to take into account that Penelope was still suffering. That inside she was dying at the thought of Derek laying like this, at being stuck in her idea of heaven completely alone.
No one seemed to do that either as they sat and listened to the doctor hours later. They all sat listening on the prognosis of Derek's health; hers had been forgotten for another moment.
"After another assessment, we've found a problem." The doctor started, his tone solemn and worryingly calm. "It seems damage from his liver has only become more and more exacerbated over the past couple of days."
"What does that mean?" Hotch asked as he stood in his stoic position, his arms crossed over his chest. "In regards to his health and recovery..."
"I would say the reason he hasn't woken up is due to the trauma." He now hugged the medical files to his chest, his face drawing even more serious than before. "The problem with any form of liver injury is the damage it has to the entire body. We'll get Derek put on the transplant list and we'll have to wait for a donor. That's all that can be done at this stage."
"He's dying isn't he?" Penelope croaked out, her heart completely situated in her throat, her face soaked with tears, her body shaking as the last of her exhaustion began to come to an immediate halt. "Donor lists take a while, and if he doesn't get one, what does that mean exactly?"
"Without the right donor and soon, he can die, it is a possibility."
Penelope's world began to shut down around then. Completely becoming a blackened mess like the house was. She heard words get thrown in here and there, but her attention seemed to be completely nonexistent.
Tested. Not dying. Survival rate. If he wakes up. Penelope. Non responsive. Penelope. You can't tell with such matters. Penelope. Penelope. Penelope.
After hearing her name called again she snapped back and looked at them all, she opened her mouth and then closed it promptly before gaining the words she wanted. "Let me get tested as a donor too."
"You're too weak," Fran told her as she looked at her and offered a difficult smile.
Penelope now realised the doctor was gone, it was just them. "I'm his blood type, I'm a good chance."
Fran stood and went to be in front of Penelope. "I think it's time you went back to bed and let us sort this Penelope. He'd hate us for putting more stress on you. Besides, me and Des and Reid are all of the same blood type. One of us is bound to be a match."
"Up the chances, add a fourth chance." Penelope pleaded against her future mother-in-law's wishes. "Let me have a chance to save him."
"I don't think it's wise Penelope," Hotch stepped in, only strengthening Fran's demands. "Now let's get you back to your room and we can discuss this later."
Penelope couldn't do a thing now. She was just taken back to her room and helped into bed. Now she was rendered useless and that hurt as much as her body at that moment.
Waiting for the room to empty, Penelope became consumed in thought again. Wondering how Derek was in limbo, how he was coping without her, how he was dealing, what he was doing, how he was pasting time without her.
Then her darkest thought took her over.
He was dying.
That panicked her. It still put the fear of Christ into her body. Those three little words were the ones that were making it physically impossible to carry on breathing, were the ones that were bringing about the apocalypse.
She'd heard them all put up their resistance. That in the one chance she had at offering Derek the helping hand to get back to them it seemed to be snatched away from her. She was only needed to will him back to them with the power of words, but not with the power to give a part of her to save him.
Fran hadn't wanted her to go through the stress of another surgery, to prolong her recovery, but if Derek died because they didn't find a donor then Penelope's recovery would never happen at all.
Then without another thought Penelope reached down and called for a nurse.
"Penelope..." She heard moments later, pulling her from her thought, "You okay? You should be sleeping."
"I need you to get the doctor down and tell him that I want to be Derek's donor." She said simply, "I'm the same blood type, please, I need to know if I'm a match."
The words didn't match what Penelope's heart wanted to scream.
Let me be his hero, just this once.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- While In Wonderland -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I lay alone awake at night
Sorrow fills my eyes
But I'm not strong enough to cry
Despite of my disguise
I'm left with no shoulder
But everyone wants to lean on me
I guess I'm their soldier
Well, who's gonna be mine?
Who's there to save the hero
When she's left all alone?
And she's crying out for help
Who's there to save the hero?
Who's there to save the girl
After she saves the world?
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- While In Wonderland -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Song: Beyonce – Save The Hero