iAm Alone?

Author's Note-Sorry this took a while. Also sorry to Creddies-this contains all Carly/Jordan relationship so far. You know how I love to take my time and develop my stories, so keep up with me-I promise you'll be rewarded. Remember I welcome all reviews and they help me write better stories, so don't hesitate to let me know what you think and if I made any mistakes. Thanks! :)

I still don't own iCarly.

Chapter 2-A Confession in Jordan's House

I opened the passenger door, and got in Jordan's dark green Jeep. "Hey sweetheart," he smiled, and leaned over for a soft kiss. I touched his chin with my thumb, moving my lips against his, and inhaled his scent deeply-I could smell his aftershave, and the product he used to keep his clean cut neat and slick.

He stopped, and started the car. "Glad you could make it. My parents ordered pizza for us and they promise to stay out the way after the awkward first meeting so we can hang in peace." He grinned at me as he revved the engine. "Looking forward to my parents' appraisal of your acceptability as my girlfriend?"

I laughed. "It won't be much of a problem. I get that from Freddie's mom all the time."

We began driving to his place. "So...what did you wanna do while we're hangin' in your room?" I asked.

"Oh, not much. Listen to some tunes, watch videos on SplashFace, eat some pizza-whatever you want. We could pick up a movie on our way if you like." He tuned the radio to a soft rock station.

I smiled at him and nodded. "I like." As we drove through the afternoon Seattle traffic, I took in his appearance contently, his nice black jacket and relaxed jeans, the confident way he drove, and how, now and then. he would smile at me out of the corner of his eye. He always made me feel so protected, with his confidence, and I always had a strong sense of security with him. So I let him make the dates, decide how we'd spend our time together. He seemed to like being the one in charge, and I was content to give him that power. In a way, it was what I'd always preferred-let someone else drive, make the decisions. I wasn't a take-charge kind of person. Sam always said I was weak, but Freddie would say I was just not a leader personality.

After picking up a comedy at the Sockbuster, we drove through the more secluded neighborhoods of Seattle, with small, quiet homes and apartment complexes. It felt like comfortable suburbia. Jordan pulled up to a two-story house, red-brick with tasteful landscaping, that looked comfortable for a family of four (Jordan had a sister who was in college now). He parked the car in the driveway, jumped out of his seat and had the door open for me before I'd unfastened my seat belt. I smiled at him and climbed out. He always made those little gestures. The only other guy I knew who did that was Freddie, but of course Freddie had been trained since babyhood by his mother to be a gentleman. And he was naturally sweet. I wondered how this reflected on Mrs. Fletcher...I was reminded of Jordan's warning about her, and made a quick prayer I didn't mess up in front of her.

We stepped in the house. While Jordan shouted to his parents("Hey Mom! Dad! I brought Carly home! (to me) One sec, okay? I'll be right back.") and walked off to find them, I was left standing in the foyer, looking around. It was tidy, but not immaculate like the Benson apartment. Comfortable. I took a seat on the couch, and Jordan returned with his parents. Mr. Fletcher shook my hand and commented on what a "lovely young lady" I was, and retreated to the kitchen, while Mrs. Fletcher set down the pizza for us. Obviously she handled this kind of business. But she surprised me-all she asked was what grade I was in, how long we'd been dating, and what college I planned to get into. Routine stuff, right? (even though the college question was a little strange-I'm only 16). Then she said "Have a nice night, kids," and made her exit.

"You have a nice mom," I commented as we walked up the stairs to his room. "And you said she would give me the full interrogation!"

"I don't know, she's usually more drilling. Maybe you passed her test." He put his arm around my waist.

"Oh the test for your perfect girlfriend, huh?" I laughed, as he opened the door to his room.

"You passed my test." He grinned, and waved his arm. "Sit where you like, I'll turn on some music."

I sat on his bed while he turned on his stereo, and looked around. It was pretty normal, for a teenage boy's room. Although I can't really judge, since the only one I'd seen so far was Freddie's. Instantly I remembered that week I'd spent a lot of time in his room. When he saved my life-stayed at home recovering-and the talks we'd had. The afternoon I made out with him for half an hour before his mom got home...I pushed back the memory. It felt so long ago. I watched Adam plug in his PearPod, and smiled. How different it was now. I was sitting in my boyfriend's bedroom, having a slice of pizza, playing it cool like this happened to me every day of the week. Though not with different guys, of course. I still believed in certain things...like saving myself for someone I'd known for at least a year and was serious with. And I wanted to be 17 or older. It was my private pact with myself.

Jordan turned on the movie, and we sat on his bed and watched it for the next hour. I leaned back against him, rested my head on his shoulder, as he kept his arm around me, stroked my arm absentmindedly with his thumb. I shifted my head into the crook of his neck, inhaled his faint cologne…I tilted my head to look up at him, and sensing my invitation, he leaned down to kiss me gently.

We immediately stopped paying attention to the comedy. As our kiss deepened, became more intense, I tangled my arms around his neck, as our tongues danced together…he pressed against me, pushing me against the wall, caressing my back, my sides, through my blouse. I could feel his heavy breathing as he kissed me more forcefully…and remembered where we were. I stopped the kiss and whispered "Jordan…your parents.." He smiled with his eyes closed and brushed his lips on my forehead. "The door's locked…it's okay.." His lips traveled all over my face, down to my neck…I could feel the body heat between us, around us, locking us together. I was a little unnerved-I'd never gotten so intense with a guy before. And now as he nuzzled my neck, he shifted his weight so he was almost lying on top of me, and his hips moved against my body, simulating something I'd definitely never done with anyone. Somehow his other hand had moved from the small of my back up to my bra, gently touching me. I wasn't sure what to do back-I simply lay there as he did these things to me.

And then he whispered in my ear. "Carly…oh Carly, I love you."

He loved me?

He leaned forward to kiss me again, but I finally moved, pressing my hands against his chest and gently pushing him off me. I got out from under him and sat up. "Jordan…we've talked about this…I thought you understood how I felt."

Jordan looked hurt. "I know we have, Carly. You know I would never push you to anything you didn't want to. I understand that you want to be in a serious relationship before we-"

I interrupted him. "Did you mean it?"

He hesitated, then looked me in the eye. "Yes. I meant it."

I looked down. "Wow. I guess we are getting…serious."

Jordan stammered, "I…didn't know the right time to say it. I know girls..feel like it's a big thing, so I didn't want to mess it up." He looked at me carefully. "But I had to let you know how I felt."

I slowly smiled. "Jordan…that's so sweet…you don't know how much this means to me-"

He moved closer to me and touched my hand. "Actually, I do. I don't expect you to feel the same way for me this soon, and maybe it's too soon… "

So many emotions went through me at that moment. I remembered Freddie's first proclamations of love, and his many attempts after my rejection to make me feel that way about him too. I didn't want to put Jordan through the same pain. I'd never met such a sweet guy, save for Freddie, who I liked so much. And I knew what I said next could make or break our relationship.

That's why I did what I did next. I placed my hand over his, and smiled into his eyes. "Jordan, it's okay. I mean, it doesn't bother me, 'cause… I kinda love you, too."

His eyes lit up. I was too happy at his reaction to question the truth of my words. And we resumed where we left off, though this time being careful to keep it restricted to kissing in case his mom popped in.

And after our movie was over, he drove me home. His mom asked if I wanted to stay for dinner, but I declined, saying I had to meet my friends for our webshow. She seemed intrigued with that, so before she could start peppering me with questions Jordan had me out of the house and in his Jeep. When we got to Bushwell Plaza, he let me out and gave me a quick kiss. "When do you want to do this again?""Well, I won't be busy tomorrow afternoon…maybe you can come over here around 4?" I offered. He grinned. "Works for me-only, can you ask Sam and Freddie if they can not come over this time? No offense, but it would be nice to be..alone." He squeezed my hand.

I was reluctant, but agreed. Jordan seemed content. He kissed my cheek and then drove off. I walked into my building feeling a but guilty. My friends wouldn't like being told to stay away tomorrow, but I was sure it would be fine. They had to understand that Jordan and I were serious now. After all, we said we loved each other. You don't get more serious than that, I thought as I got in the elevator. And tomorrow we would my apartment to ourselves, to cuddle, and enjoy our new "seriousness". Or something. I smiled to myself.

Again, it still didn't occur to me to question why I'd said I loved him, when I didn't know if I did. I was too happy, too thrilled that my boyfriend said he loved me to care. I was already planning all the couple-y things we would do together, that couples did in the romantic movies I liked to make Sam watch with me. And Freddie thought Jordan would try to force me to do something with him, I thought. What do they know!

Indeed.

Final note- Please R & R! I want to know what you think. Is Jordan really in love with her? Should he do something when they're alone the next day? How will Freddie feel about this? NEXT CHAPTER IN THE MAKING!