/
/
/
Lorne hung the microphone up on the stand.
"And up next, we up have Will, who's going to read us a poem he wrote," Lorne said
"It's a work in progress!" Spike added quickly
"Oh, don't be modest," Lorne grinned
/
Later…
/
The doctor from Serenity was back.
"Um, this is a song I kind of like," he said
"Oh boy…" Lorne breathed
The music started playing.
"A hot summer night, fell like a net," Simon sang, "I've gotta find my baby yet,"
I need you to soothe my head,
Turn my blue heart to red,
Doctor, doctor give me the news!
I've got a…bad case of lovin' you!"
/
"So, Host, what can you tell me?" Simon asked
Lorne looked at Simon with frustration.
"What?" Simon asked
"You told her you liked her because it was either her or your sister?" Lorne groaned
"Yeah…?"
"And you pushed her off the ship?"
"We were over a lake! Everyone was doing it!"
"And you told her that dress made her look fat?"
"It did! And besides, she asked me!"
Lorne slammed his head down on the counter; his horns made dents.
"Can you tell me anything?" Simon asked
"Yes!"
Lorne sighed, and started writing some instructions.
"OK. Let's start with Valentine's Day…"
"Valentine's Day?"
"Lǐwù ài Day," Lorne corrected himself, "Don't give her exercise equipment, don't say you're not giving gifts this year, don't give her…"
"What if she says she doesn't want to do gifts?" Simon interrupted
/
Two hours later…
/
Simon was tied to a chair.
"OK, what do you do if Kaylee says you don't have to come with her to visit her parents, and you don't feel like going?" Lorne asked
"Then I don't go?" Simon attempted
Lorne turned to Spike, and nodded. Spike sprayed Simon with a hose.
"Ah!" Simon exclaimed
"Host, at this rate, the water bill's going to be through the roof," Spike informed
"I know…" Lorne sighed