Guidance

Chapter Six

By the way, I kept meaning to do this—Janiya can be pronounced Juh-nee-uh or Juh-nee-yuh; it's just a name I made up and have come to like. I always think of Jani as sounding like Janny, or Jah-nee.

Calindra would be Cuh-lihn-druh or Cah-lihn-druh, depending on your own dialect. would be like Cally, Cah-lee.

OR you could pronounce them any way you see fit. I don't mind.

Things were getting weird with Embry. I'll admit, I didn't pay the whole 'imprint' thing much mind—I mean, I didn't have a problem thinking it, or saying it, or joking around with it. But, in truth? I always avoided thinking about it too deeply. While I was able to do this for about a week since I learned about it, it was getting harder to do without avoiding Embry; both the topic and person. I never really gave it too much thought, afraid of what I'd conclude. That wasn't a very good idea on my part.

"So," Emily said one day we had the house to ourselves—Seth, on his rare breaks from patrolling, took Cali out to play or something.

"So," I mimicked as she sat next to me on the sofa, turning so that she faced me. I leaned back against the arm of the sofa, raising an inquisitive brow at her. "What's up, Emily?"

"What's going on with you and Embry?" she asked, a smile on her face. I frowned. She caught it. "What? Is something wrong?"

"No, no," I stated, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly. "It's just…what do you mean, me and Embry?" Emily gave me a look of confusion.

"About—you know—the imprinting?" she clarified. I scowled. This subject again.

"What about it?" My tone was a bit harsher than intended. "Uh…sorry, Emily. What about it?" I asked, softer than before.

"Well…you're only a year apart, and some of the boys are wondering when you two will—"

"Stop, right there," I interrupted. "I can't—I won't explain myself to teenage boys, because it'll go in one ear and out the other."

"Okay," said Emily, adjusting her posture. "So, tell me. What about you two? What's going on?" She looked like a kind, gentle motherly figure; one that was trustworthy. Yet, I've always had trouble with trust.

"Nothing's 'going on,'" I insisted. "Embry's just my friend, and that's it."

"And…you don't like him?"

"What kind of—"

"I meant, you don't like him as…more than a friend?" I stared at her, wondering why she was questioning me. Why did she want to know, anyway? It's not like it was her business. But still, I sighed and ran a hand over my face, exasperated. I didn't want to answer that question, so I wisely chose to remain silent and stare back at her emptily. After a few moments in which Emily probably noticed I wasn't going to tell her, she inquired again. "Do you feel attracted to him at all?" At this, I almost lost my temper. Of course I did! I'm his imprint, aren't I? Doesn't that sort of imply that we're supposed to be attracted to each other?

The thought made me gulp. Was Embry attracted to me? Was I to him? I was hesitant to state my attraction to him, I'll admit, but even I wasn't naïve enough to believe there was nothing there.

"I'm not going to answer," I said coldly. "All this does is bring up things I'd rather not talk about. What does any of it matter?" Emily's sad expression made me regret my tone, but I couldn't take it back now.

"But…Jani, don't you love him?"

That did it. I stood up angrily and headed to my room, leaving Emily in the living room. I closed the door quietly, then proceeded to crash on my bed and bury my face in my pillow, as if to suffocate myself. I let out a muffled yell of exasperation. I felt horrible, like something inside of me was aching, throbbing, hurting. I wanted to feel happy, to feel at peace and safe. There was only one thing that ever made me feel complete again and, unfortunately, he was out of reach.

Or was he?

I lied down on my bed, curling into a ball under the covers. I closed my eyes and focused on emptying myself of all emotion—it was impossible. It felt like the more I tried, the more I hurt myself. There was only one person I could think to turn to. I yearned to be there, wherever he was, because he knew how to make it all better, as horribly saccharine as that sounded to my inner cynic.

I felt my mind, my self, lifting away from the earthly confines of my body. Astral projection was dangerous, yes, but it never ceased to make me feel free. That is, until now. I felt, though I was lifted from the shackles my body placed on my soul, weighed down by all the sadness and confusion. I stared at my shell on the bed, the empty cask of a body, frowning. I closed my eyes sadly, thinking. I yearned to see Embry, to know if he was safe, to be near him. I felt the sharp rush—I was flying. When I opened my eyes, I was in the forest. I saw two wolves running below, like when I was with Cali weeks ago. Except one of these wolves was different—it was chocolate brown. The other wolf was the same one, the same gray-with-black-spots wolf. I smiled when I realized that was Embry. I followed them, above them, as they ran, noses in the air and on the ground as if searching for a scent, which they probably were.

It made me wonder. Did Cali know about their being werewolves, before the bonfire? Maybe. But I didn't really care at the moment. I smiled as I chased after Embry through the air. I vaguely, perhaps sickeningly, wondered how he would react if I suddenly appeared in front of him. It was better not to try, though, until he was done patrolling, or he might be distracted.

Even as he patrolled, I treaded after him, keeping up very well. I hadn't made myself visible to him once, though I had definitely wanted to. When Embry went to the edge of the forest and paused, I looked around for the other wolf. Where did he go? But when I got back to Embry, I saw he was human again, wearing only cutoffs. I grinned—though I mentally flushed at what would've happened if I stayed a bit more, if I'd seen him phase back to human. When Embry walked to the edge of the forest, I decided to mess with him. I perched on a tree branch nearby and, focusing, made myself visible.

"Embry!" I called. He gave a start and immediately turned to look for me. When his eyes landed on me, I grinned and waved. His eyes widened.

"What are you—"

"Astral projection, don't worry," I assured, jumping down from the high branch and landing on the ground without so much as a thud. I smiled up at him. Embry sighed.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack, you know, over fifty feet up in the air," he said. I smirked.

"That was the point," I told him. He groaned.

"You'll be the death of me, woman."

"I hope not," I teased. "So how was running around like? Who was that wolf that was with you?" Embry's eyes widened for a moment.

"You were there?" I rolled my eyes.

"I thought we'd established that already, come on, Embry. I just didn't want to distract you, so I was still…ghostlike, I guess." Embry stared at me for a moment. "What?" He shook his head.

"Can I—are you solid?"

"I…should be, if I'm doing this right," I stated. I reached out a hand towards his cheek, placing it against the side of his face. He closed his eyes automatically. "Feel that?"

Embry's eyes flew open, and he gazed at me again. He took my hand from his cheek and held it in his, looking at our hands in wonder. "Where are you now?" he asked.

"My bedroom." He intertwined our fingers and gave my hand a light squeeze.

"Can you feel that?"

I smiled. "Vaguely." Embry grinned and placed a lingering kiss on my forehead.

"And that?"

"Yep," I answered brightly. "So, you gonna come visit me now that patrols are done, or what?" Embry's grin broadened.

"I'm running there. Will you be waiting for me on your porch?" My heart fluttered and I nodded dumbly. He placed another kiss on my forehead. "Then I'll see you there."

"See you," I whispered. I rushed to the house, to my body. When I was in front of my unconscious body, I felt myself snap back to place. I jolted from the bed with a shock, then rushed out of my room and through the living room, out the door. I sat on the porch, waiting for Embry. I curled my fingers, closing my hands into a fist. I still felt the light pressure on my hand, more so now than before. The door opened and I saw Emily stick her head out, glancing at me curiously.

"What are you doing?" she asked. I hesitated.

"Waiting for Embry," I answered with a grin. Emily pressed her lips together, raising an eyebrow at me. I laughed. "What?" She shook her head.

"Nothing," said Emily with a tiny smile. "Where are you going?"

"With Embry?" I asked. She nodded. "I wasn't aware we'd be going anywhere. But that is a good idea—I'm getting antsy being inside all the time." I wrinkled my nose as she laughed. "So anywhere, really. I'll be safe, don't worry."

"Oh, I have no doubts." Emily grinned, then looked up at something behind me. I followed her gaze, beaming when I saw Embry jogging up to the house. I jumped up off the porch and waved back at her.

"See you, Emily," I called back. Embry smiled, immediately enveloping me in a hug.

"Ah… This is the real you… You're warm," I heard him say. I pulled away, raising an eyebrow at him.

"What are you trying to say? I'm cold as a spirit?"

"No, no!" he said quickly, with a laugh. "I mean, you're…er…ghostly, almost… But you're warmer like this, so I know it's the real you. And you have a heartbeat and scent." He rubbed the back of his neck. "It's kind of hard to explain."

"I know," I said. "So where are we going?"

"Going?"

"Emily said it. And I now noticed I just have to get away," I explained. "So let's go somewhere."

"Where would you like to go?" Embry asked pleasantly, taking my hand. I shrugged.

"Anywhere." Embry smiled and we walked, like so many days (maybe weeks) ago, to the beach. I rolled my eyes with a grin, allowing Embry to pull me along to who knows where.

"So what are you doing tonight, again?" I asked again. We were in the cove, under the cliffs, where he took me the last time I had a sudden need to leave the house. I was sitting by one of the pools, swirling my hand in the water. Embry sat next to me, dangling his legs in the water.

"I told you, Jake just needs backup," he replied, sighing. "It's no big deal." I frowned.

"I know, I know."

"But that doesn't change how you feel about it, does it?" Embry asked wryly. I nodded curtly.

"Oh, come on, please? Can I go?" Embry frowned.

"Why do you even want to go?" I looked at him flatly.

"Embry, it's a party," I deadpanned. "I haven't been to one in a long time."

"You've been to bonfires," he argued.

"I've been to one," I pointed out. "Besides, I won't get in your way! I promise!"

"Jani, I can't—"

"Yes, you can."

"Jani—"

"Please? Besides, I don't like the idea of you going to a party without me, even if it's just as backup for Jake," I told him. Embry glanced at me for a moment, then looked back at the water. I didn't take my eyes off him.

If I was being truthful—to myself, not aloud to Embry—I could care less about the actual party. What I didn't want—though I knew it was an irrational fear on my part—was any girl flirting with him. Sure, I wasn't his girlfriend—I wasn't even sure if I had feelings for him like that—but I was his imprint, and I'd be damned if I sat at home while Embry went to a party, even if it was just to back up Jacob while he went begging for Bella's affections.

"Jani," Embry said, "I can't. Besides, I don't want you going to a house full of bloodsuckers—"

"There'll be more humans there than them!" I protested. Embry frowned.

"Jani—"

"Embry, if you don't let me go, I'll end up going one way or another," I told him, crossing my arms. "Remember? Astral projection? I can basically go anywhere and never leave my room." I placed my hands, one on top of the other, on his shoulder, then rested my chin on top of my hands so I was staring him in the eye as he turned his head to look at me. "I just want you to know that I'll be going, and I want you to be okay with it. I want you to tell me you're okay with me going, because I don't want you to be upset, Em."

His eyes were wide and gazing into mine, only a few inches away. Normally, I would've blushed, but I was determined not to break. Embry's eyes were…they were beautiful, like him. They were a deep brown, cool brown—a light brown. They were concerned, they were loving. I could get lost in those eyes, and had to snap myself out of it a few times before Embry sighed.

"I have to ask Jake," he said.

I couldn't help but smile at my triumph. Embry saw this and his mouth twitched in amusement, like he wanted to smile at my antics. He chuckled and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me into his side. I wrapped an arm around his waist—his muscled, naked waist, I had trouble forgetting—and leaned into him. Staring down into the water of the tide pool, I began humming under my breath. And, as usual, the humming turned into quiet singing.

"When I was younger I saw my daddy cry, and curse at the wind. He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it. And my momma swore she would never let herself forget. And that was the day I promised I'd never sing of love if it does not exist. But, darling, you—are—the only exception," I sang quietly.

I smiled softly, closing my eyes and leaning into Embry more. I felt oddly at peace. It didn't even register that I'd just sung in front of Embry, and especially a potentially embarrassing song. It was like it was in the back of my mind, without a care. Embry wrapped his arm more securely around me, and I melted into his warmth. I felt him tracing little circles on my side through the fabric. Everything was hazy, like I was drifting off to sleep. Embry often made me feel that way—safe, happy, and on cloud nine. I suppose it was the imprint, but it was a good part of it, one I could live with. I felt happy.

But, then, did Embry? The thought hit me soon after. I felt a little guilty and selfish—Embry's feelings should have mattered overall. Was he as happy and safe as I was? I guess I assumed that he was, because of the imprint, but I shouldn't have. The thought unsettled me more than I liked to admit.

I opened my eyes and tilted my head very slightly, looking up at Embry. His eyes were closed, and he had an overall peaceful expression as he continued to trace circles in my side through the fabric. Was he happy? I couldn't tell. I timidly raised my hand, placing it shyly on the side of his face, then brushed his cheek with my fingertips. Embry's hand stopped. I traced his nose, his lips, and brushed over his eyes lightly with my fingertips, holding my breath the entire time. His lips parted slightly and I felt his muscles relax around me. I paused, resting my closed hand on the side of his face.

"Embry?" I asked, my voice quiet and meek. His eyes opened, and he looked down at me. I felt an odd rush of feelings—none of which I understood, several of which I feared, few of which I welcomed wholeheartedly. "Embry…are you…happy?" When the words left my mouth, I felt stupid. I certainly could have phrased that better.

But Embry didn't seem to notice, or didn't care. He just smiled that charming smile at me and kissed my temple. I was distracted for a moment but not enough to miss his words.

"Why do you ask?" Embry still held me, speaking those words against my temple.

"I'm just…wondering," I said lamely. I frowned slightly. "But are you? Happy, I mean."

Embry pulled away and shifted me so he could look at me. "Why?" I felt heated under his gaze. Embry, with a soft smile, hugged me to his chest, resting his forehead on mine. I wanted to murder my heart—it was betraying me in the worst of ways, but at least I wasn't blushing. Embry's eyes bored into mine—and they were smiling.

"Are…you…happy?" I asked quietly. Embry chuckled, and I felt blood rush to my face. He smiled at me, and I was again reminded that that irresistible smile was only centimeters away.

"I'm happy, Jani," he assured me. "All a wolf wants is to be with his imprint… Like Seth's hanging out with Cali now… or Quil usually baby-sits Claire… It's all because we just want—we need—to be with our imprints…" Embry gazed at me, as if I was the best thing since sliced bread.

I noticed, with a bitter sense of irony, that Embry only mentioned imprints who were still in platonic relationships with their wolves… It made me wonder. Did Embry want to be more? Or did he just want to be my friend? What would be better for us? And if we weren't going to be dating anytime soon, when would we? And that brought an onslaught of even more questions.

"You look like you're thinking," Embry noted, bringing me out of my reverie.

"Hmm?" I blinked. Embry was still so close…yet so unattainable.

He grinned. "What were you thinking about?" My eyes widened slightly and I felt heat creep up my neck.

"Er…imprints," I muttered vaguely. Embry gave me an inquisitive look.

"What about imprints?" he asked mischievously, with a smirk that made my heart speed back up. It was hard to look anywhere but at his eyes.

"Mm…nothing." I decided I was treading on very dangerous ground at the moment—or at least, very embarrassing. A change of subject was in order. "Mm…I want chocolate." I beamed, though I mentally slapped myself for the show of immaturity and stupidity. But Embry just chuckled and grinned amusedly.

"Trying to change the subject, huh?" I pressed my lips together in a thin line. His grin broadened. "Alright, alright. Let's get you some chocolate." Embry moved away—giving me room to breathe—kissed my temple, and helped me get up. He didn't let go of my hand once I did.

"Goody," I sang. "Where to?"

"How would you like to go to Port Angeles?"

"Embry, slow down!"

Embry's laughter rang loud and clear, but was almost lost in the wind. How Embry had convinced Jacob to lend him his motorcycle, I don't know. We were speeding along an empty highway, heading to Port Angeles. I think he just wanted to show off. Either way, the rush of air was incredible—the adrenaline was pumping through me, and I laughed along with him. I don't think it was actually that fast—at least, not as fast as this motorcycle could go—but it was still pretty fast. I held on tightly to Embry, my arms around his waist—he was now wearing a t-shirt, thankfully—and rested my cheek on his back. It was only the early afternoon, and we had plenty of time to spend. The drive took maybe an hour and a half, but it felt like no time at all. The wind whipped my hair out behind me and stung my cheeks, but Embry's body temperature kept me warm. I was a little disappointed when we finally arrived in Port Angeles, where he parked the bike somewhere and we began walking into downtown.

"So, where would you like to go eat?" Embry asked as he took my hand. We were walking down streets and shopping districts—it wasn't anything too major, as Port Angeles was, but it was bigger than Forks and had more people and shops.

"What do you mean?" I looked around at the different shops as we passed them, never having been in Port Angeles myself.

"We're having a late lunch," he informed me.

"Where?"

"That depends on what you want to eat." I rolled my eyes.

"You don't have to—"

"I'm going to," interrupted Embry, looking at me in a such a way that I couldn't refuse.

"Anything's fine with me," I said. Embry smiled softly and kissed my temple.

"Good. Come on."

We walked past a few more stores, Embry pointing out a few things along the way before we reached a restaurant Embry dragged me into, though I didn't see it until I was inside; I probably would have passed it entirely. I wouldn't really call it a restaurant—I was used to upscale, classy restaurants, truthfully—but it was cute and quaint and homey. It was called 'First Street Haven' and had a warm atmosphere about it—like a coffee shop. At least, it reminded me of one. When we entered and took a seat, and a waiter came almost immediately.

"Welcome to First Street Haven, here are your menus. I'll be right back," the brunette male said with a wink, then went to distribute menus to a couple other tables. Embry grimaced—I saw this from across him—and his jaw tightened. Maybe the waiter was winking at just me, or maybe Embry was just compulsively jealous. I rolled my eyes and reached over to his hand, resting on the table.

"Relax, Em," I said. Embry looked up at me and smiled. I made to move my hand back, but Embry quickly took it in his, intertwining our fingers.

Alright then.

I opened the menu with my free hand and looked through the choices just as the waiter returned.

"What can I get you to drink?" he asked congenially.

"Um… Coca-Cola for me," I answered shyly, looking towards Embry. The waiter nodded and looked towards Embry as well. "What about you, Em?"

"I'll have the same," he told the waiter shortly.

"Alright, I'll be right back with your drinks," the waiter informed us, still grinning as if Embry wasn't staring coldly at him, and left.

"Embry!" I hissed.

"What?" he asked, confused. I closed my eyes in frustration.

"Make it any more obvious, why don't you?" I sighed and stared at him expectantly. "I don't know if you know this, but if looks could kill, that poor waiter would be dead!"

Embry huffed. I rested my forehead in the palm of my free hand, frowning. I felt Embry take that hand softly in his, and I looked up at him. He sent me an apologetic smile, and I rolled my eyes. Meanwhile, the waiter returned with our drinks, placing them on the table by our entwined hands.

"Alright, here's your drinks," the waiter said. "Are you ready to order?" I glanced down at the menu quickly.

"Er… I'll have the grilled chicken sandwich," I answered.

"Make that three," said Embry, never once looking away from me.

"Okay, then, I'll be back," the waiter said, writing down the order and heading off to another table, as if ordering an extra sandwich was usual around here, which it probably was. Embry gazed at me wordlessly. It was becoming a bit unnerving.

"I don't even see why you're so jealous," I mumbled, taking one of my hands away from him and grabbing my soda, bringing it up to my lips to take a sip.

"Not jealous," Embry grumbled, frowning at the table, and went to take a sip of his own drink. I snorted at his answer.

"Right." Another sip. "Okay, not jealous, then. Possessive, maybe?"

"Territorial."

I smiled. "That too." I scoffed lightly in amusement. Embry quirked a brow at me, a smile playing on his lips.

"What's so funny?"

"You are," I responded, taking his hand across the table again. "Though I don't think it's the kind of funny you'd like to be."

"Oh, yeah? The what's the kind of funny you think I want to be?" he challenged, grinning.

"You want to be the purposefully funny, the kind of funny that attracts the ladies," I said dramatically, not really knowing if it was true or not. I guess I was fishing. "You don't want to be slapstick-funny, and not exactly stand-up-funny."

"Nah," Embry disagreed. "Not so much attracting 'the ladies' as much as entertaining my lady." A strange, bubbly feeling stirred in the pit of my stomach. I furrowed my brows, giving him a look that clearly asked, oh?

"Really? Who's this lady-friend of yours? What's she like?" I asked, half jokingly. Embry's grin widened.

"She's the best," he said immediately. "She's my everything, and she's unique." I felt blood rush to my cheeks and I pressed my lips together. "And…she's sitting in front of me."

"Hmm…" I looked up to the ceiling quizzically. "What does one say to that?" Embry's grin, if it was possible, broadened even more at my speechlessness and attempt to play it off.

"Here are your orders," the brown-haired waiter from before said as he carried a large serving tray over to our table. He set down the three sandwiches—which were fairly big—and offered a congenial smile. "Is there anything else I can get you?"

"No, thanks," Embry answered before I could. The waiter nodded and placed a slip of paper on the table before leaving. I rolled my eyes and picked up my chicken sandwich, taking a small bite. Embry was already starting on his and was almost halfway through. How he and the pack eat so much so quickly, I don't think I'll ever understand. I felt a bit self-conscious eating my sandwich—even though there was absolutely no reason to feel that way. Oh, well. I ate most of it, but left the last quarter. Embry, already done with his two sandwiches, finished off mine, making a big production out of it.

"Sometimes I wonder what happens to all the food that enters your mouth…" I mumbled. Embry laughed. I picked up the little slip of paper, the receipt, but before I could look at it, it was out of my hands. "Hey!"

"Nope, sorry, I'm paying," said Embry. I frowned at him, but otherwise had no qualms.

After we left the shop, Embry taking my hand again, we walked around the stores nearby. It was getting to be around six when Embry grimaced and decided we had to get back to La Push. The hour-and-a-half ride back wasn't bad. It was like the ride to Port Angeles, except without the nervous and excited feeling of seeing somewhere new for the first time. Going to La Push was a homey feeling, which made me smile as I wrapped my arms tighter around Embry while we sped down the highway.

Sorry for the shortness of this one! The next one will be normally long again, though. It's just that I didn't want to break a scene up in half or in some other awkward place when it really shouldn't be. You'll see! If you're keeping up with Eclipse, because we are in Eclipse here, then you can guess what comes next... :)

I'll see if I can find a picture of some actress or something that reminds me, somewhat, of Jani. For Embry, I think of Kiowa Gordon In fact, the wolves are pretty much the same as in the movie (I'll, again, try to look for Collin and Brady models).

Please review! And MAJOR thanks to Danika-chan07, popcrone818, Ever-Starr, runs .with .wolves, and rugdg13 for their reviews! :)

HunnyABee

PS: If you like this story, go check out my oneshots for Twilight! One is a sweet one with Edward and Bella, and the other is an EmbryOC (not this one, though). :)