Guidance
Chapter Nine
So, I updated this story sooner because I happened to get bored of waiting. Kind of disappointed that I didn't get to 40, but I'm hoping to get to it now. This is a pretty big chapter, both lengthwise and event-wise. In fact, I had to break it up into two chapters, which I'm not too glad about, but I'll deal with.
When Embry took me back home, we wiped our faces of all smiles before we even approached the house. I don't think either of us wanted anyone else to know what went on in the beach—not that anything was really done. Just some major flirting. And stuff. But mostly the I-love-yous—that, I supposed, was something we should keep to ourselves.
"How long do you think it'll be until someone, or everyone, finds out we're dating?" I asked him quietly. Embry—who'd put his shirt back on since we left the beach, unfortunately—smiled and kissed my temple.
"Not very long if you keep whispering about it in front of werewolves," he teased. I smacked him lightly and rolled my eyes. "Fine, fine. I give it two weeks, maybe."
"I'd give it three, maybe four," I said. Then I looked at him mischievously. "Okay, no telling anyone, and you can't think about it when you're phased, got it? And no acting anything more than how we usually act, okay? Let's see how long they take to figure it out." Embry scowled.
"No acting anything more than how friends act?" he said. He grabbed my waist and pulled me to him, breathing in deeply at my collarbone. He kissed the corner of my mouth gently. "No—that?"
"Not in public." I could feel him smiling against my skin as he kissed my jaw. "Seriously, Embry." But I couldn't stop a giggle or two here.
"Fine, fine," Embry relented, grinning. His eyes flickered to the house. "Want me to come inside?"
"Yep. But I doubt Sam or Emily will want you in my room."
"Can't hurt trying." He sent a cheeky grin over at me which I couldn't help but reciprocate. I took his hand and headed up to the house. Once inside, I noticed Seth, Cali, Emily, and Sam all sitting around the television, though I could swear Emily was cooking something in the kitchen for later. It smelled good, like beef and mashed potatoes… If I hadn't just come from eating, I probably would have been drooling. Heck, Embry probably was. I dropped Embry's hand when the others looked over.
"Hey, Jani," Emily greeted. "Did you have a nice time?" I looked at her suspiciously, trying to fight the blush coming over my neck as I thought back to First Beach. I nodded.
"It was fine," I answered. I know I must be acting a bit out of character because Embry subtly nudges me with his foot and even Sam is giving me an inquisitive look. "It was fun, okay? I mean, the speed, riding to and from Port Angeles on a motorcycle, is awesome. It's just, you know, my hair got messed up and—"
By this point, I know I'm babbling—a nervous tendency—so I cut off mid-sentence and head for my room. Embry doesn't follow, of course, because that would look suspicious—but I'm secretly disappointed that he doesn't. Of course, because I'm in my room, I can't really hear anything that's being said, except for when Cali yells out that she wants to come see me and make me feel better. Thankfully, when the door to my room opens, it's only Embry smiling at me. I didn't mean to sound like I didn't like or care about Cali, but I really wanted to spend time with Embry, alone.
Not for any particular reason.
Except, you know, that I love him.
Embry closed the door softly behind him and came to sit on my bed with me, against the headboard. He just stares at me with this kind of adoring, amazed gaze. It's so intense that I can't look away. His eyes—gold-brown, kind, amazing, smoldering eyes—seem to penetrate the walls I've placed so strategically around my heart and mind. Embry took my hand and intertwined our fingers, holding up our hands in between us.
"What's up, Embry?" I asked quietly. Embry frowned, looking somber and withdrawn. I crawled up in front of him, placing a hand on his face. His eyes closed at my touch.
"Remember…the war?" I looked at him confused for a moment before I wracked my brain, trying to remember any details about any war. Slowly, almost painfully, it comes to me. The vampires, the newborn vampires. I nodded, and, before he continues, I know I have to tell him about how I saw them in the clearing.
"Embry, remember when I asked if you were battling or anything?" His jaw tightened, but he nodded curtly. "Well… You wondered how I knew that… That's where I was… I was projecting, and I was there…when you guys met with the Cullens." His expression was stoic. I couldn't tell whether or not he was angry that I'd eavesdropped or spied on them. Embry sighed. He pulled me into his chest, tucking my head under his chin and rubbing my back. I had to admit, it feel nice. He was warm, and his actions were warm. There was nothing angry about them.
"I'm sorry," I heard him whisper.
"For what?" I mumbled, my cheek pressed against his chest. I raised my hand up near my face, placing it on his chest.
"For…for leaving you." I swallowed uncomfortably.
"W-what are you talking about, Embry?"
"You know what I'm talking about." I did. "Don't make me say it," he begged quietly, sounded crushed. I frowned and turned in his arms to wrap mine around his torso and bury my face into his clothed chest.
"Forgiven," I stated softly. I really should've put up more of a fight—any other time with any other person, I would have. But it was Embry…and I didn't want to ruin our time together now bringing up what happened.
"But—how can you just—forgive me—like that?" Embry asked roughly. "I—I blamed myself when you were out cold. You looked like you'd been crying and I—I almost thought you weren't coming back… At first, I thought you might've been projecting or something…but then you never woke up the next day. I was going insane."
"I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry?" Embry seemed almost disgusted and outraged that I'd said that, that I didn't really put the blame on himself. But how could I? It wasn't his fault… If I didn't know that, I'd be lying to myself.
"It wasn't your fault."
"You were crying. That was reason enough for me to go insane. It was my fault I made you cry."
I moved back slightly and looked up at him. Embry looked so sad and, in that moment, older than he really was. He was only sixteen, and I was only fifteen. It was hard to remember at times, especially when he didn't look sixteen and when neither of us really acted our ages too much. But here, he looked older than his age in a bad way. He looked like a man who'd been heartbroken, who'd been regretful and grieving.
"Oh, Embry…"
I felt like I needed to comfort him, to wrap my arms around him and just kiss the pain away. I moved up so I was kneeling, and I was just taller than him because he was sitting. I kissed his forehead and he wrapped his arms around my waist, low on my hips, burying his face into my neck. I cradled the back of his head and stroked his hair.
"Embry, you've got to stop beating yourself up and jumping over every little thing you might or might not mess up." Granted, I should probably stop overreacting and being pessimistic and self-deprecating, but that's an issue for another day. Embry didn't say anything. "Hey, Em, what were you going to tell me—about the war?" Okay, so it wasn't exactly a good subject, but it was better.
Embry brought his face up to mine, pressing his cheek to mine and inhaling my scent, I guessed. "The war—they think the battle will be tomorrow," he whispered, his lips near my ear. My stomach dropped, like a weight crashed upon it.
"Tomorrow?" Embry nodded, his lips parting as if to say something, but no words are spoken. "But…"
Embry ran a hand through his hair, looking tortured—in a sexy way, I notice at the back of my mind—and sighed. I took his hand. "All the wolves," Embry said, gazing at me now, "took the day off patrolling to spend time with their imprints and family. The ones who haven't imprinted did patrol for a while, though."
"What… You have another practice thingy tonight, don't you?" I asked quietly. He nodded. I exhaled disappointedly. He'd be off tomorrow, who knows where, fighting vampires and trying to survive. I sat down, letting his hold on me fall.
"I'm sorry—"
"Just—stop—Embry—ok?" I interrupted, holding my hands up. I ran a hand through my hair. I didn't mean to sound…well, mean, but I was upset. I mean, how else are you supposed to feel when your boyfriend, whom you've been dating as of less than half of a day, is going off to battle the next day and you don't know if he'll come back in one piece, if at all?
"If you want me to go, I'll go. Just say the word." Embry's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
"No!" I got up quickly and threw my arms around his shoulders, securing myself to him because I was sure he wouldn't be affected by my pulling meekly on his arm. "Please don't go." Embry wrapped his arms around me, hugging me to him tightly. "Please don't go. If you have to go fight tomorrow, then at least stay with me now."
"Okay."
Did I mention how I hated Bella? That might sound a bit harsh, but, think about it, would an army of vicious newborn vampires be heading for Forks and La Push if it wasn't for her?
Thursday morning was unpleasant simply because the sense of death and danger hung in the air. Embry hadn't left throughout the night—he'd slept on the floor, holding my hand. We had spent the night talking until it got late and he insisted I rest. I think Embry was awake at least until I was asleep because I never noticed his hand drop from mine. He woke up before me, though.
I shuffled on the bed, stretching under the covers. I looked over the edge of the bed—very easily, since I usually sleep on the edge of the bed on my stomach—and saw Embry looking up at me, arms behind his head, from the floor. I felt bad that he had slept on the floor, but he insisted. He also insisted he didn't need a pillow or bed sheets, so I felt guilty about those, too.
"Em?" I whispered, my voice husky and almost dreamy from sleep. "Why you up so early?" I think the corner of his lips pulled up at my disregard for grammar.
"I run on less hours of sleep," Embry answered quietly, his voice sounding velvety. I closed my eyes, almost swooning. Although I didn't faint, I did allow myself to plop onto the bed on my back and sigh. I registered the dip in the bed as Embry looked down at me fondly. He lightly stroked the side of my face with his fingers; I closed my eyes yet again and reveled in the feel of his loving caress. "You okay?"
My eyes fluttered open. I felt flushed, and I nodded, staring at him in adoration. "Perfect," I breathed. Embry drew his hand back and I sat up slowly, noticing our proximity. Even in the dim light the shutters let in, I could see Embry's beautiful, soulful brown eyes on mine, his soft, kissable lips, and his sharp yet somehow boyish features.
"So…" Embry's eyes never left mine. I felt this anxious, ecstatic feeling in the pit of my stomach when he looked at me, when he was this close to me. For a second, I could even feel the connection between us, could almost see it, that he'd once described.
I sighed. "I don't want to leave my room," I murmured quietly, feeling a bit embarrassed. I felt scared. I didn't want to leave, to be bombarded by the others, or to head out into this world because I knew it'd all remind me of how Embry and the others were going to be off fighting later on. Embry sighed, too, and laid down on my bed, arms behind his head again. I leaned back and my position was more relaxed, but I was still sitting…sort of. Embry shuffled closer and turned, laying his head on my stomach and throwing an arm over my hips. I felt slightly self-conscious.
"I don't want to leave, either," Embry said quietly. "It'd probably just remind me how we'll be fighting soon…maybe later tonight, maybe early tomorrow morning… Sometime very soon…" I didn't say anything, instead choosing to listen to the sound of his voice as if I'll never hear it again. I placed a hand in his hair, absentmindedly playing with the locks. "I don't want to leave you, either… I don't want to make you worry… I don't want the possibility of never seeing you again.
"Sam…Jake…the others, they're excited. A lot of them are. Some of them…some of them are just as worried as excited, especially the ones with imprints."
"Fight for me, Em."
"What?"
"Forget Bella, forget La Push or Forks, forget the 'thrill' of killing vampires—if for nothing, fight to come back—fight to return to me."
I heard Embry's deep breaths, and then he shifted and looked up at me. Arm still slung over my hips, he pulled me closer to him and pressed his mouth to mine. It was a short, sweet kiss from which Embry pulled away after a succinct moment. He brushed my brown hair out of my face and looked into my eyes again.
"I'll always return to you," he promised. I bit my lip, but couldn't help but correct him.
"You mean you'll always try," I said sadly. Embry frowned and pressed a kiss to my forehead.
"Ah, ye of little faith," he teased. I cracked a smile at that. Then he was serious again. "I promise to you, I'll always come back."
"You swear?" He kissed me again, effectively quieting my doubts. But they were there, and they weren't going to die anytime soon. Embry seemed to sense that. He took my hands and kissed the backside of each, then every knuckle, and entwined our hands again.
"I swear, promise, assure, guarantee…—what's another word for 'promise'?"
I laughed. "Vow, affirm, profess…ensure…declare…er…pledge?" Embry gave a crooked smile and nodded.
"Well, whatever, all of those—I'll come back to you, or—" he cut off abruptly, seemingly rethinking his wording. "I'll always come back, Jani." I pursed my lips.
"Embry Call, if you get hurt in the battle, I'll kill you," I informed him. Nodding, he pecked my lips.
"I'll do my best—not to get hurt, that is." I smiled. If he got hurt, I'd definitely go into hysterics. And if he died—
If he died. I hoped with all my soul that that wouldn't happen. Is that what he was going to say earlier? I'll come back to you, or die trying. If he died, would I die, too? He imprinted on me—I was his imprint. We were soul mates. Could soul mates continue living without the other? In my mind, it seemed like an impossibility.
"Jani?" Embry called, snapping me out of my thoughts. "You okay?"
"Fine," I answered automatically. "Embry?"
"Yeah?"
"Tell me more about the battle, what you're going to do today, and…stuff." I needed to know more—being kept in the dark was only going to make me worry more about the details. Embry made a face.
"Well… Later we'll be heading out to the clearing to make sure everything's set…if there's anything to set, really."
"And the battle?"
"I think it's tomorrow, early in the morning. We're not a hundred percent sure, though. Either way, some of us are staying out in the forest for the night, in our wolf forms. The rest of us are going in the morning, like at dawn."
"And the imprints?"
"The imprints—you included—are all staying here. Emily's sister is dropping Claire off later today, Kim's gonna come over, and Brady and Collin are going to be patrolling around La Push just in case."
"Wait—Brady and Collin? So, everyone else is…" I trailed off.
"Everyone is fighting," Embry finalized with a look of mixed emotions. "Basically, everyone's somewhere. Brady and Collin are around La Push, and they'll handle whoever dares to come near. They'll check in on you guys every now and then. Jacob's gonna be with Bella until tomorrow morning, where Seth will take his place in whatever clearing Bella decides to drag Edward to."
"And you?"
He hesitated. "I'll be in the other clearing, fighting the newborns along with the rest of the pack and the Cullens." I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and clung to him. In fact, I even wrapped my legs around his waist as if that would keep him here, safe, away from the battle. He rubbed my back reassuringly.
"Embry, Embry, Embry," I sighed. "Please, please—be careful." I stared him down, our faces barely centimeters apart. His lips parted slightly and then curled into the crooked grin I loved so much.
"I'll be fine," he assured me. "I'm built for this, remember?" I attempted a smile. Embry kissed me, letting his lips linger a millimeter from mine. "I'm more worried about you. But, then again, I'm sure you're gonna argue about how you're not stupid and how you'll be fine and some other junk that won't make me worry any less."
I smiled and stuck my tongue out at him; because our faces were so close, I was able to lick his lips. Embry bit my tongue playfully before he began kissing me for real, placing a hand at the back of my neck. My arms still around his neck, my legs still around his abdomen, this was a compromising position; but I couldn't care less. I kissed him back, our tongues battling for dominance and my fingers knotting in his hair. His hands lingered at my hips, tracing circles in the flesh exposed.
Of one thing was I certain—I could not live without Embry Call—I could not bear to be away from his touch, his laugh, his smile for even a day.
Embry had to leave at noon. The wolves needed to prepare and strategize. I still didn't want him to go. I found myself cursing Bella more and more as the day worn on. I eventually had to leave my room; I felt guilty for neglecting my baby sister and Emily as I had the past few days.
"Hello, Jani," Emily greeted when I walked out into the living room, bundled in leggings, a wool sweater, a scarf, and mittens because I knew it would get cold later tonight. She and Cali were sitting on the couch, as if they were watching television. The T.V. wasn't on. Emily's face was devoid of expression—in fact, she looked silently determined.
"Hi," I said as halfheartedly as she had. Cali didn't speak, but her eyes flickered between me and Emily. I sat beside Cali quietly, and she leaned into my side, clinging to my arm. "What's wrong, Cali?" I knew what was wrong, and Emily knew what was wrong—did Cali? If so, why would Seth tell her? She's just five. If she knew about werewolves and vampires—though I wasn't aware if anyone had told her, and I hadn't asked her if she had seen the boys phase—it wasn't because of me.
Cali shrugged, though, choosing to snuggle into my side. I placed an arm around her, bringing her onto my lap. "You and Emily are really sad… Or you're acting sad… So…" Emily looked towards us, and I frowned. I felt bad that Cali felt saddened because we were. I'm sure Emily did, too, because she immediately pasted a smile on her face that, if hadn't known was fake, would have convinced me everything was fine.
"Come on, Cali," Emily chirped, "would you like to help me bake brownies for when Claire and Kim get here?" Cali looked up at her, eyes wide with confusion and suspicion, but she seemed to push that away as she beamed and sped away to the kitchen.
"Huh," I mumbled. "Oh, Emily, are—when are Brady and Collin getting here?"
"With any luck, when Kim and Claire have already arrived and had brownies," Emily answered, her mask slipping slightly. She looked tired and worried. I patted her hand before she turned to go to the kitchen where Cali was impatiently waiting.
"Don't worry, Emily," I murmured, wishing I could console myself as well. Emily nodded, though I was sure she didn't fully take my word to heart.
"When Kim and Claire get here—which will probably be at the same time, since Quil volunteered to pick up Claire and will probably pick Kim up since Jared's busy—make sure they get settled, okay?" Emily turned and left for the kitchen, where Cali had begun to call Emily's name.
So I sat there, on the couch, my hands folded in my lap, staring at the wall. I felt oddly detached, which was starting to become common. I felt blank, like a white canvas—like I was supposed to feel something, but didn't. It was the complete opposite when—
I pressed my lips together in a firm line so my chin wouldn't tremble with my quivering lips, seeking to cry out sobs of grief. All the pain I'd been suppressing for the past few weeks blew up at me, and I draped my upper body over my legs, doubling myself over. I held on to my legs tightly, trying to regain my cool and calm demeanor, but it was too late.
I missed my mom, and my dad, and my old life. A pang of regret and guilt resounded in me when I thought that, mostly because of how attached I was to everyone here, but I shook it off. I missed my parents, and I felt hot tears running down my cheeks when I recalled their tragic death—murder. Although I'd never been intimately close to them like other people were with their parents, I loved them so much. It was just odd, and oh so painful, thinking that they were dead. They didn't deserve that horrid death.
I was shaking, shaking with repressed cries. I was weeping silently, my face wet with evidence of my lamenting sniffles and tears. When the doorbell rang, it was so unexpected that I shot up off the couch, narrowly avoiding crashing onto the coffee table nearby and shattering a vase. I ran to the bathroom quickly and washed off my face, then headed to the door with a stoic expression. Once opened, Kim and Claire bustled in quickly, too distracted by their need for warmth to pay any mind to what my face looked like. I'm sure the only traces of crying left were the slightly reddened eyes, but those would fade soon. I shut the door and waited a few moments, listening to Claire greet Cali and Emily, before joining Kim in the living room.
"It's gotten very cold in a very short time, hasn't it?" I said conversationally, sounding quiet. It was normally chilly in Forks and La Push—in all of Washington, really—but it was snowing outside now. The first snow of the summer—doesn't that sound a bit odd? Either way, it was snowing, or it had been. I wondered, briefly, if the boys would be cold outside.
"Very c-cold," Kim agreed, nodding her head. Her nose was slightly redder and her skin was pale—she was bundled up in a jacket that looked too big to be hers, furry boots, jeans, a long-sleeved sweater, a scarf, and even a knitted hat. Even then, she rubbed her arms and shivered. I walked over and threw my arms around her in a hug, and she clung to me and whatever warmth I offered. I hadn't been outside at all today, but the draft that had entered with Kim and Claire made it clear it was freezing.
"Did you see Jared today?" I asked. Kim nodded, her shivering ceasing.
"Earlier today," she sighed, smiling dreamily. Then the smile slipped, and there was worry and panic in her eyes. "But now he's gone off with the others—" She cut off there. She didn't need to finish the statement—it was clear that we both knew exactly where our wolves were.
"I know," I murmured, rubbing her arms to warm her up more.
"Kim!" Emily called, trying to sound cheerful though I knew the pain in her heart was ever present. Emily came and gave both Kim and I a hug—she was warmer than I was, having been cooking and baking. Emily smelled of gingerbread, which made me smile. Gingerbread? Why? But I guess brownies weren't enough to satisfy everyone.
"Hello, Emily," greeted Kim, snuggling into both Emily and I. "Warm." Emily and I giggled at Kim's eccentricity, though it was short lived because we both had that lingering weight on our hearts and minds. Even Kim sobered up.
"I better be heading back to the kitchen, keep an eye on those two, you know?" Emily said quietly, pulling away and turning to leave.
"I'll be there in a moment—kitchens are quite warm," said Kim. A corner of my mouth lifted at her quirkiness, but I couldn't enjoy the moment entirely. Though I refused to think of it, the feeling was always there—that feeling of foreboding, of disaster. I tried not to think the name, but he worried me. What was he doing, I wondered, now that the war was so close?
Kim and I sat on the couch for a few moments in silence, Kim already having warmed up and taken off her scarf and hat—though she kept Jared's jacket. I sighed and wished I had something of Embry's to keep—a piece of him to hold onto so I could better hold onto hope. It was so hard to hope, though, when I couldn't even picture the wolves and whatever they were supposed to be fighting. Although this should have given me more hope, what with ignorance being bliss and all, it only made me more frightened of whatever it was they were up against. I could only pray they all got back in one piece, uninjured, unharmed…
But such a hope was unreasonable. Someone had to get hurt. At least one person from our side would get hurt—perhaps more. I yearned to see Embry, to know he was alright, to have him whisper sweet, comforting words in my ear…but he was out in the cold wind, soon to be blizzard, and I was stuck inside. Horrible. That's how I felt. My Embry was out there…fighting…and I had no idea how he was… Maybe I was being paranoid and unreasonably so, but Kim and Emily looked just as about to fall apart as I did.
"Do you think they'll be okay?" Kim asked, shaking my from my thoughts. I looked at her, saw her eyes shiny with unshed tears ready to spill at any moment. I took a second too long to answer and she sniffed and wiped a nonexistent tear away. "I mean, it's just, I've never seen them all have to go out like this—there's never been such a big battle, or a war, or anything, and it's just—oh, do you think Jared will be alright? I mean, everyone?"
"I'm positive they'll be fine," I said, and once it's out of my mouth I know it's the last thing I believe. For Kim's sake, though, I have to be strong. I placed a hand on her shoulder—she had started to tremble. "Kimmy, Jared's a strong boy—an old boy—he'll be back to you in no time once the battle's done. Trust me, he'll be fine. And the others—they'll all be okay, alive, and they'll definitely return." Kim doesn't say anything, but I know she's content with my answer, given hope by the speech. I stood up and offered her a hand. "Come on, let's get to the kitchen before Claire and Cali eat all of Emily's brownies, cookies, et cetera."
"Okay." Her voice was weak, but at least she made an effort. I took her hand and led her to the kitchen where Claire and Cali were sitting at the counter, each munching on brownies and gingerbread cookies. Emily was mixing away again, this time some kind of cake mix.
"Need help, Emily?" I offered. She turned around and shook her head.
"No, no, it's fine," she answered. "Just, after a while, put those two darlings to sleep."
It was quiet, almost too quiet—the only sound was that of Emily's whisk beating around the cake batter in the glass bowl and of the oven's occasional ticks when it heated up gradually. Kim sat at the counter with the two young girls who were still grabbing at cookies and brownies. I stood near the doorway of the kitchen, looking in at everything, feeling utterly useless and hopeless. I could hear, getting louder and louder, the whipping of the wind against the house.
"The windows are shut tight, right, Emily?" She nodded. Cue tense silence. "You have extra blankets?" With another nod, my second attempt at conversation failed. Now for questions that required a little more than yes or no. "Where are we all going to stay together through the night?"
Emily turned towards me, eyebrows knitted. "The living room." It was a start.
"Movies?" A nod. I mentally sighed at the regression. "Emily, please talk. I know you're trying, but you have to try harder. I'm dying inside. Kim's freezing, but she looks worried and in pain like the both of us do. Cali and Claire, well, they know something's off. But I'm dying here, Emily—moping's not going to help us."
I plopped down in a chair near the counter, not bothering to look around at anyone's expressions. This wasn't easy for any of us. I guess I just hoped being all together would keep our hopes up, but we were all depressed and keeping to ourselves. Every second, my mind kept doubling back to the upcoming battle, to Embry. It was hard to stay positive when I didn't have him with me, stroking my hair and whispering words of comfort into my ear.
I sat up with a start. I hadn't noticed what a softy I'd become—until now, that is. Did Embry do that to me? Ugh. Why was I depending so much on Embry? He was a big boy—he could take care of himself. I was being pathetic, worrying so much over him for little reason.
"That's it," I muttered. Then I slammed my palm down on the counter, making all four of them—Emily, Kim, Claire, and Cali—jump. "We can't do this. We can't be this! We're being weak little girls! We're being pathetic! I mean, the guys can do this, can't they? They're built for this—to do this very thing! We shouldn't be so depressed, and we shouldn't completely depend on them!"
Emily and Kim stared at me with wide eyes, but they held a sort of pensiveness in their expressions. Claire and Cali looked at me oddly—Claire, being only two, turned back to the cookies and began munching them again. Cali frowned for a slight moment, but nodded curtly and went back to eating the brownies.
"I agree," Kim said, sitting up in her chair. Her shoulders were back, not rounded in sadness any longer. Her eyebrows knitted slightly—whether in concern or determination, I didn't know—and her expression carried a sense of ferocity. Jared would be proud. "We can't just sit around here crying over our men—I agree, Jani." She turned to Emily. "Em, I know it hurts, but they'll be alright! They're them, and Jani's right—they were built for this! And we are being pathetic!"
Emily furrowed her brows, looking slightly weary, but understanding. She nodded, straightened her posture, and attempted a tough grin. I knew she was thinking of Sam—we were all worried about our wolves, and it wouldn't be gone no matter how much we pushed it away.
"Can we just try to have fun, like it's a sleepover?" I suggested. "Maybe that'll take the edge off."
"Of course," Emily agreed quickly. "Go to the living room, pick out a movie or two. I'll be there once these cookies get out of the oven and I set a new batch to bake."
"Alright. Cali, bring Claire to the living room. We're watching movies!" I tried to sound excited for their sake. Cali might have seen through the act, but chose to nod and take the hand of her surrogate sister and lead her to the living room. Kim slung an arm over my shoulders.
"To the DVDs!" she shouted triumphantly, pointing up. I stifled a laugh and we marched after my sister.
"Another one!"
I groaned. "No way. No more crappy little kid movies." If I had to see Barney, or the Teletubbies, or any stupid mainstream Disney or Nickelodeon star or cartoon, I would pull my hair out. After watching a couple of Claire's supplies of baby movies that were kept here, I had had enough. It was, what? Nearly nine or ten? I'd suffered nearly six hours of child shows and movies! I think Kim shared my pain, but Emily didn't really care. She was mostly cooking more and more treats, anyway—she'd needed to; Brady and Collin ate most of the ones she made when they arrived not too long ago. Now she'd progressed to not only brownies and gingerbread cookies, but chocolate chip and triple fudge and sugar and vanilla and caramel.
"Did you know that brownies are considered a type of cookie?" said Kim, chewing on a chocolate chip cookie. I sent her a sharp look.
"Hello? Take my side here—no more baby movies!" I insisted, flailing my arms.
"Oh, calm down, Jan," she continued, brushing me off. "The girls are about to drop anyway. It won't be long till they're sound asleep." Kim gestured towards the girls. Cali and Claire, though they kept murmuring about another movie—Claire in her funny way of speaking—they were curled up near the arms of the sofa-chair seat they shared. I sighed.
"I suppose." I went to go grab blankets from the closet in the corridor, placing one over both Cali and Claire and dumping the rest on a side of the couch. The wind was still beating at the house, and every now and then I shivered. But we kept going, Kim, Emily, and I. We were trying to be strong—we were strong—and for hours now my mind barely skimmed over the subject of what was soon to come. Perhaps the stupid mind numbing kid movies did that—one can only take so much of Blue's Clues.
"Oh, lighten up, Jani," Kim commented airily, though I knew she was looking a little haggard, too. Her thoughts were probably heading in the same direction mine were—it was later, and it was getting closer. It was looming up ahead, a dark sense of foreboding hanging in the air.
"Jani! Kim!" Emily called from the kitchen. She walked in, wiping her hands on a washcloth. "Pumpkin or pecan pie?"
"Pumpkin!" I told her at the same time Kim answered, "Pecan!" We stared at each other intimidatingly before bursting out into laughter—not too loud, though, because Cali and Claire were sleeping.
"I'll make both," Emily compromised, smiling. The scars on the side of her face still pulled her mouth into a half grimace, but at least I knew the other part was genuinely grinning.
"Awesome," Kim and I chorused, giggling silently. I threw a couch cushion at her head. She ducked, but it hit her shoulder. Kim sent a playful glare over at me, and I motioned, 'Bring it on.' Her face splitting into a devious grin, she darted for the pillows and began pelting me with them. I evaded some, but tripped on another—thankfully, I landed on the pillows I had avoided.
"Kim!" I scolded, frowning. I glared at her halfheartedly as I stood up quickly and plopped onto the couch. My pulse was racing with adrenaline—funnily enough, it still couldn't compare to how fast my heart pounded when Embry was around. At the mere thought of him, I felt my heart flutter, and I knew I was lovesick—but I didn't know whether to smile or gag at that.
Kim yawned from behind me and covered her mouth with her hand, lying down beside me on the couch and laying her head on my shoulder, snuggling into my side. For a moment, I was thinking, What the heck? But I figured she must've been tired, and I was definitely supportive of her and had helped her keep her mind off of certain events that would occur soon enough.
After a while, Kim fell asleep. Emily and I watched a movie quietly, only speaking to comment on the ridiculousness of the characters and plot. I'm not sure at what point I fell asleep, because I definitely don't remember the ending of the movie, or even what I saw last, but I remembered the light weight of a wool blanket being draped over me, warm and safe…like Embry.
Review, please!
Happy New Years, and (a belated) Merry Christmas!