Guidance

Book Two ~ Embry

Chapter Eleven

And the story continues... I hope you like it. At first, it was a bit awkward starting this, but towards the end I got a bit more comfortable. It's still a bit weird, though.

Also, it bothers me that some people have the nerve to review with audacious comments as to what they believe they know will happen. Sure, go ahead and guess—it entertains me. But don't assume you know what I'll do, and not in such a disrespectful manner.

One to your left, Em!

I leapt over the incoming leech and slashed at it, tearing its arm off with a metallic screech.

Thanks, bro, I thought back to Quil. How many newborns were left? Those annoying punks kept coming at us, refusing to die. Once one of us ripped one apart, another would put itself back together. It was disgusting, and we were all seething at the stinking things. The pack ripped, tore apart, and destroyed the newborns, and they'd repair quickly.

A male vampire growled at me. I snarled, baring my teeth. He looked about sixteen, but I didn't let myself focus on that. The fact that these things were once human is something that we can't take into account, something that doesn't matter when you're killing them. They're already dead, and there's no room for pity in the game. The vampire lunged at me in my moment of distraction, and I barely managed to dodge. I sunk my teeth into his shoulder, ripping the arm from its socket, and tossed it aside. Then I worked on shredding him to bits.

"Over here!" came the tinkling, somewhat annoying voice of one of the Cullens, the vampires we allied with. Alice, the psychic, I think. She'd started a fire, and some of my pack mates were already tossing pieces of vampires into there. I left one of them to deal with the pieces of leech I left.

Just as I thought that, something hard crashed into my side. I snapped my teeth at a vampire trying to get his arms around my neck to kill me. And then another attacked my other side. What was this? Weren't there enough of us to take on one each? The battle had started a while ago. The vampire to my left was soon bulldozed out of the way as a Cullen, the burly one I recognized as Emmett, gleefully beat the snot of it. I nodded my thanks to him and continued the fight with the new leech until Paul decided to join in and we tore it apart and burned the pieces.

No way… Through the pack mind, we all paused in our tracks as Leah—badass Leah—thought those words, somewhat in a quiet shock. And the mental image—what Leah saw—was even more disturbing. One of the bloodsuckers I'd lost track of earlier in the battle was grinning sadistically, carrying a body. I started forward and let out an agonized howl when the thoughts of the rest of the pack confirmed my fears.

I want to kill him, I thought coldly.

She might be alive! You going in for the kill would hurt her! Quil argued. But we all knew it wasn't true. I would've heard her heartbeat. The pain ripped through me, more unbearable than anything else I'd ever felt. A knife to my heart, twisted and turned, would hurt less. Acid on my bones would burn less. An image of Janiya, my imprint, my soul mate, flashed through my mind. Then the picture was gone, leaving me to stare at the reality in front of me. I was furious. I was hell-bent on destroying that piece of shit, that fucking leech.

"Lose something?" the leech taunted. He dropped my Jani's body to the ground, and I lunged at him, not bothering with his affronts. I tore my teeth into his neck, tearing his head from his body and tossing it into the bonfire of vampires in the clearing. I tore every limb apart and into fragments, threw it into the fire, and when all was done, I felt empty. I wanted to hear his pain, make him feel the pain he caused me. But I'd already burned his head, already incinerated him, and he wouldn't yell, wouldn't feel, wouldn't kill again.

My body was shaking. If was I wasn't already a wolf, I'd explode into one. I faintly heard buzzing at the back of my mind—the rest of the pack's voices and thoughts, probably trying to find something to say, but awkwardly knowing there was nothing that could be said or done. My imprint was dead. I would've looked at her, gazed at her once more, but the pain was too much. No. Now I was furious.

I was running on autopilot as I looked around the clearing for any more vampires, any more lingering fights. I didn't even register whose fight it was. I just needed to kill, needed to destroy, needed to vent. I lunged for vampires, decapitating, ripping limb from limb, and I lost count of how many I killed. With each, my bloodlust grew. I needed to settle the score. I needed to get even. My mate was murdered, and they would pay tenfold.

Embry, a voice thundered, cutting through my thoughts. A snarl ripped through me. Embry, you need to calm down.

Easy for you to say, I hissed back. I was enraged, seething, and angry. All I could think about was Janiya's death, and that vampire. I could, now that I was slightly more focused, smell her blood. I could smell the blood of my soul mate, in the open air. It only made me more livid. There were leeches in the clearing. Familiar, stinking leeches. I needed to rip apart those vampires—vampires like the one that murdered my Jani.

Embry, stop. The voice of my Alpha, the command of my Alpha, was hard to ignore. But I growled viciously. Then he sent an image to me, one that made me stop in my tracks.

Jani. On the ground. Dead. Her eyes barely shut, rolled to the back of her head as if she was unconscious. Her neck was snapped in two, and even now her blood was painting the snow, melting it. The back of her skull was bashed in slightly, and she was crumpled in the way that a doll is when it's thrown to the ground.

I howled, and if wolves could cry, I'd be bawling. I shook the image out of my head and ran to her side, and seeing this in front of me as opposed to from Sam's mind had a bigger effect.

The love of my life was dead. My reason for living….gone.

I laid beside her body, her lifeless and likely cold body. I whimpered and whined, pawing at my eyes and trying to cover them. My tail would not wag, not ever again.

Embry, a voice urged me, and for a moment I thought it might have been Jani. But it wasn't. When I focused, I remembered. Leah. You have to go. You can't stay here with her body. She sounded sympathetic, and I knew she could feel my confusion about why she even bothered. She wasn't like that. But I guess she knew her fair share of heartbreak to know I was dying. That, and the fact that I probably would have died if I hadn't had the pack to share my pain with. And I suddenly felt guilty for broadcasting it to everyone.

Come on, bro, thought Quil quietly, don't feel guilty. We all felt bad, anyway. But we gotta go. The Cullens are saying that some vampires, royalty or something, are coming. We gotta go.

I tensed. But… Jani's body… We obviously couldn't leave her… And those other vampires would notice a human body nearby, anyway…

You…want to take her body?

It sounded sick, but I needed closure. I still couldn't believe…I refused to believe she was dead… Maybe it was a deranged, sick hope. I wasn't ready to let go of her.

Will you ever be? Leah challenged softly. Every part of me, heart and soul, answered with a resounding and unanimous no. I still wasn't ready to let go.

Take her, Quil said, a bit uncomfortable and definitely pitying me. But you'll have to phase back. I'll take you.

I nodded and headed into the surrounding woods to phase. Once I did, I felt the pain override me. It was horrible in wolf form, but as a human it was worse. I could cry. My heart felt like it was breaking, and I was shaking so much I wasn't sure I wouldn't phase again. Tears trailed down my face. After the initial shock and pain, I felt numbness and grief. And where were the rest of the wolves? I hadn't seen Jared, Paul, Sam, Seth, or Jacob. I hadn't even heard their minds… It was only Quil and Leah I had heard. I wiped my tears, which wasn't necessary seeing as they evaporated on their own, and headed out into the clearing. I saw the rest of the Cullens look my way with somber expressions. Even Emmett, the burly one who'd happily taken one of the leeches who attacked me, looked sobered. Bella and Edward weren't here, but I was sure they would be soon enough. I saw Janiya's body, lying in the snow. I trembled for a moment before I forced myself to calm down. I picked up her body gingerly and walked into the woods where Quil and Leah were waiting, feeling a moment of detachment. I had to detach myself emotionally from this…at least right now, or I'd break down.

I was so numb I barely registered having to get on Quil's back while he and Leah ran back to Emily's. When I looked up, though, I did notice something. We weren't at Emily's. Why were we at Jake's house?

"I think it's better if you don't bring…her…into the house," Quil said as he came back from phasing. I frowned. He placed a hand on my shoulder. "Take your time to say goodbye. Come inside when you're okay." And then Quil turned and entered the house, looking worse for the wear. I don't know where Leah went, but I didn't see her anywhere around. I looked down at the girl in my arms and sighed sadly.

I eventually sat down, my back against the wall of the side of Jacob's garage out back. I noticed her eyes weren't closed, not completely, so that was the first thing I did. She could have been sleeping—at least, I might have been able to pretend she was if her neck wasn't broken and dried blood wasn't crusted to her clothes and skin.

"Oh, Jani…" The tears that trailed down my face didn't seem like enough to express the aching grief that filled me. I clutched her neared to me, taking in the scent of her hair one last time. "I don't think I'll ever be ready to let you go. If I could, I would do like Taha Aki—stay beside you in my wolf form, then…just disappear. When the Third Wife, his imprint, died…he laid beside her for one day, growled at anyone who tried to touch her, and then went into the forest and just…never returned.

"I wish I could… You don't know how bad it hurts. I mean, you threatened me, Jani, and said I had to return to you perfectly unscathed…" I swallowed the lump in my throat. "…so where are you?" I whispered, looking up at the sky. Sun was breaking out from the clouds. It wasn't fair. A sunny day, a rarity…and Jani was dead. The world went right on…as if nothing happened. But it did. "Where are you, Jani? Why aren't you here? I should've made you promise to come back, too. But I didn't know you would… I thought you were safe.

"I thought you were safe," I repeated. I wasn't there to save her this time. It hit me, quite suddenly, that the vampire who had her in the clearing—it was the same vampire that had found her last night. I should've stayed with her. I should have stayed! If I did, she probably wouldn't be dead!

"Blaming yourself won't help, you know," said a voice. I looked up to see Leah leaning against the wall, looking forward. I didn't have the strength to say Go away, Leah, so I just kept quiet. "And I'm sure it's not what she would've wanted."

"Why do you think I'm blaming myself?"

"Why wouldn't you be?" she shot back passively. "You're her imprinter. That translates into protector for you, not just soul mate. And she was murdered by the very thing you're supposed to be made to kill."

I growled at her. "What do you want, Leah? To make me feel even worse?"

"Watch it, pup," she snapped, sending me a sharp look. "I'm trying to make you realize that it's not your fault. That you should really stop whining about something that wasn't in your control. And that you should take a bath because, frankly, you reek."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Just go away, Leah."

"Look," she snarled, coming face to face with me for a moment before backing away, "I can't say that I completely adored the brat. I'm not gonna lie. She was a little annoying." I growled under my breath. "But, she did earn my respect. I didn't entirely hate her. I can honestly say she was the lesser of two evils—the least annoying imprint and sometimes altogether better company than any of the pack. And I feel your pain. Obviously, not like you do. When I—Sam was someone that was hard for me to let go of. And it's worse when I know I wasn't his soul mate, wasn't good enough, and have to be reminded every day.

"But even then, I know that I might find my own soul mate one day. Might get over it. Heck, I'm practically starting to get over it. But she—Jani was your imprint. The fact that you lost her, the pain you're going through right now—I have to admit, I don't think even I could have taken it. And for that, you earned my respect, too.

"Don't screw it up. I'm sure you'd lose more people's respect than just mine if you even think of killing yourself."

And then, without another word, she turned and headed to the house, leaving me in stunned silence. But that was soon over. I looked down at the corpse I held in my hands—and when I realized I'd just seen Jani's body as a corpse, my heart broke further. There really was no escaping this fate, no escaping this madness. My gravity was missing.

And that was the odd part. My gravity was missing, but not completely gone. I sighed, brushing Jani's hair out of her face like I would've if she was alive. Leah was right. I had to part with the corpse. But I shouldn't ever part with her memory, her love. It hurt so much, and every second that passed made me want to break down, or even die just so I could be with her. But I knew, like Leah said, that Jani wouldn't like that. And when Leah Clearwater starts making sense, everything's run amuck.

But I have to let go, at least of her dead body. It'll only make me sadder, madder, and lonelier. I pressed a chaste kiss on her forehead, knowing I'll never get to do that again, and stand up, laying her down. I walked back to the house, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders—but it's not a bad weight, and I miss it. Sam came out of the house just as I approached, and he immediately caught my eyes. He gave me a glance that said he felt my pain, that he felt sorry for me. I didn't want his pity. But I did need a favor. I just wasn't sure how he would take it.

"Sam," I called.

"You alright, Embry?" he asked, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I gulped. What a useless question. Of course I wasn't. But now wasn't the time to lash out at him.

"You know, I don't think we're half brothers," I said instead. Sam looks at me as if I've gone crazy, but it's a pretty well contained expression. "You know, since Jani was your cousin, and I imprinted on her." Sam nodded curtly.

"If you need someone to talk to, the pack's here for you," he said.

"There is something I need," I told him, somewhat hesitantly. I took a deep breath. "Jani… I can't let her go. It's too painful. But…can you…I don't know…put her to rest? Her body…is by the garage. I can't. It's too hard for me." For a moment, I think Sam is gonna say no. He looks a bit stricken—but, of course, he always keeps his expression stoic, so it's only his eyes that show it.

"Of course." And then he turns and heads for the garage without another word. But that's Sam. I took a deep breath, feeling the gaping hole in my heart that might as well have been physically there, and headed into the house. In Jacob's living room, everyone's crowded around in their own conversations, some sad, some serious, and a couple relieved.

"Embry." Quil beckons me over quietly; he's by Jacob's bedroom door.

"What's up?" I asked, concerned. What else could be going on? Seconds later, I caught the scent of one of those Cullens…inside Jake's room? "What—"

"FUCK!" Jake cusses from inside his bedroom. I make a move to check it out, see why he's cussing and swearing, but Quil shakes his head.

"What happened?" I repeated.

"Leah got cocky—she took on some vampire," Quil said, "and it wasn't looking so pretty so Jake had to step in. The right side of his body's crushed." I winced, and felt a bit guilty I hadn't known this and instead wallowed in my own misery.

Jake kept cursing inside the room, his pain unbearable, I'm sure. I sighed. My imprint, gone. One of my best friends, in horrible pain. Though we'd won the battle, I couldn't help but feel like we'd lost, like I lost everything.

Maybe because I did lose everything.

The next few days went on in a dull pattern. I barely registered what happened, though I'm sure there was a bonfire to celebrate our victory over the newborns. It was completely bitter, though, without Jani. Everyone was pretty subdued, I guess, but they seemed to handle it well. They still laughed and joked around at things. Only I was really melancholy about everything, and it sucked.

It sucked even worse because the people who tried to make me feel better only annoyed me, and I ended up snapping at them. Then they just left me alone. I'm not sure which one's worse.

But the weeks went by and I only got worse. The heart wrenching pain I felt whenever I saw something, or thought of something, or noticed something that reminded me of Jani…it was unbearable. It ripped at me, and it got to the point where I couldn't even be in the same room as Emily and Sam, or Kim and Jared, or even Quil and Claire and Seth and Cali. It was too much. Seeing the imprints made me angry, too—although it was horrible to think, I sometimes wished it wasn't my imprint that had to be the one to be vampire chow. And then I'd get pissed off all over again. I was worse than Paul at this point, and more bitter than Leah the Harpy.

"That's it, Embry," said Sam one day I was at Emily's house. I was sitting in a corner, looking out the window. I looked up for a moment, then went back to staring out the window. It was still painful, looking at Sam and knowing Jani was his cousin, knowing he'd been the one to lay her body to rest somewhere. He still wouldn't tell me where, even though I'd nearly driven him crazy for weeks. Abruptly, I was grabbed by the back of my neck and made to stand up.

"Hey! What's the big idea?" I growled, swiping away his hand.

"You've got to quit the depression act, Embry. You haven't been patrolling in weeks because your thoughts affect the others," Sam said. "And you've barely eaten in weeks. You're only doing more harm to yourself." I glared at him.

"What the hell do you expect me to do?" I demanded. "I just lost my imprint! My reason for living is gone. How the hell do you expect me to get over that?"

Sam faltered for a moment. There really wasn't any way around it—there was nothing he could do, nothing anyone could do. And there wasn't really any known way of coping.

I was pretty much screwed for life, and Sam knew it.

And if I ever thought about making that pain go away, obviously by shortening the time I had to endure it, the pack would kill me. Not literally, because that'd be giving me what I wanted, but still. Heck, I tried, the first week, but all that got me was lockdown and surveillance.

"I'm gonna go run around for a while," I muttered, moving around and away from them. Just as I was reaching the door, Sam stopped me with a command.

"Fine," he said. "But under my orders, you are not to kill yourself and you are not to run away. Understand?"

"Who knows? Maybe, if I run away, I'll find Jake," I murmured bitterly. Yeah, that's right—Jake ran away. Apparently, Bella and the leech are engaged and getting married pretty soon. And here's the funny part—them pack let Jake go and run off. And here I was, mourning the death of my imprint, and I wasn't allowed to take two steps out of La Push. Bella wasn't even Jacob's imprint—he couldn't possibly imagine the pain. It was times like these where I kind of hated my best friend for thinking he felt the same pain I did. His was nowhere near mine.

Sam hadn't responded and I barged out of the house, ripping into my wolf form as soon as I was clear into the woods. I hated how, even though the pain of losing love had lessened in this animalistic form, the pain of losing a mate was probably just as bad. Especially since I didn't spend enough time in this form to get used to it.

I vaguely felt the presence of Jacob in the back of my mind, but he would ignore me, just as I'd ignore him. He was off somewhere, spending all his time in wolf form to minimize the pain he felt over losing Bella. Too lucky for him that she wasn't his imprint—it'd hurt worse, and there would be no escape in wolf form. Damn bastard.

Jacob mentally growled at me, his thoughts not forming words. But he'd heard my own thoughts and was angry at how I was downplaying his stupid devotion for the leech lover. Excuse me if I was bitter, but I don't think it could be helped. Damn bastard was lucky it was just his first love, not his imprint. Another growl from him.

Yeah, I said it, bastard, I snarled back. Feel this pain? This stupid fucking pain? That's over losing my imprint, my soul mate, my wolf's mate! Bella wasn't your damn imprint, so at least you can escape the pain of losing her sometimes! And at least she's not dead!

She might as well be! he retorted acidly, and I knew it caused him pain to do so.

Right, `cause she'll be the enemy, a fucking vampire! I snapped. But at least she'll be moving, you bastard! And at least you can get over it after a while! Jacob still growled, but his thoughts quieted down. I was right, and he had no rebuttal, but he didn't like it and he definitely didn't think he'd get over Bella. Idiot.

Suddenly, I phased back, getting absolutely sick of arguing with Jacob. Once I was human, I dropped to my knees in the forest as the pain overwhelmed me again. This was why I didn't phase. Every time back in one form or the other would always feel like the first, would always hurt and I'd have to get used to the pain again. I was a robot nowadays, and I didn't even recognize myself. This was getting out of hand. Jani wouldn't have wanted this…but she wouldn't have wanted to die, either.

I'd just snapped at one of my best friends, whom I've known since I was little and confused and hurt over the mystery surrounding my unknown father, who was there for me when I was getting over not having a dad by me, who accepted me back as a best friend when he'd phased into a werewolf, too. Jacob was my brother, and he shared my pain. Maybe I had it worse, but he at least knew my pain better than practically everyone else in the pack, except maybe Leah.

Leah. She was, I noted with slight shame and guilt, a bitter harpy. But she was that way because she'd lost Sam, her love, to her cousin and imprinting. She'd never recovered. I didn't want to be like her—the pack wouldn't be able to take two Leahs, and it wasn't something that was very pleasant. But, come to think of it, I'd been like a male Leah all these weeks, and maybe even worse. Jacob might've gotten some of it, but I was definitely worse than he was…

And I'd been such an ass to everyone else, too. Quil, my other best friend—I'd hated him whenever I saw him playing with Claire, his young imprint, and I was jealous that he'd had his alive when mine was taken from me. He was as much my best friend as Jake, and I'd been a bastard to him, too. And everyone else, who probably felt my pain whenever we phased—and probably felt it just because they'd grown attached to Jani—they all had to deal with me.

I trembled, crouched in the forest with my head in my hands, a naked, pitiful mess. I was miserable, maybe even more so now than before. At least I knew I had my packmates. Jani would always be on my mind…I knew. But she wouldn't want me sulking and being bitchy to everyone—that was Leah's job.

I allowed myself to lift a corner of my mouth in as close a grin as I could manage for the first time in weeks. For a moment, I felt warm. Maybe Jani was watching me from heaven—I had no doubt in my mind that she'd be an angel. A beautiful angel. I could almost see her, smiling at me, in my mind.

And for that moment, I was as close to happy as I'd been in nearly a month. Jani would want me to at least be happy in her memory…right? So I pictured her beautiful face, her dark curls framing it, and her lips pulled into a loose, content grin. Maybe she wasn't real, not in any daydreams I'd have, but she was real in my memory and in my heart. Maybe that could be enough, at least for a while…

I got up and phased, feeling a bit queasy, but enlightened. I'd had my epiphany. Now I just needed to apologize.

Again I felt Jacob's mind at the back of mine, and I know he registered my thoughts again. This time, he stopped with a trace of confusion, not sure what to make of my attitude change.

Sorry, Jake, I said, maybe a bit reluctantly, but I did mean it. I was a whiny bitch. I lost my Jani, but I needed to have my friends, at least, close, and all I'd been doing was pushing them away. Jacob's thoughts were indiscernible, but at least it was something different from the usual anger or grief that overwhelmed him. I showed him my memory, my thoughts from only moments before, and he understood. I began running back to Emily's house, noticing how far I'd run away from it in the first place without knowing.

Jacob's thoughts were mostly silent, which I found odd, but I guess being wolf form makes you think more with your eyes and feelings than with words. I did register the feeling of acceptance, though. He forgave me, and apologized, himself. Which I forgave.

You know… he began, you have a point… I mean… I'm sorry, dude. I guess it is worse for you. But Bella—

Yeah, I know, and I'm sorry, too, I interrupted. Bella was a lot, and I'd come to know that over the past months because of Jacob's constant thinking of her, adoring and worshiping of her.

It was quiet for a few more moments, nothing but the sound of the wind and my paws padding the earth as I neared Emily's house, where the pack was. It was, I realized, the first time I noticed my surroundings as I ran since that day. I guess it was better for me. It was bitter, keeping her only in my memory, but I needed to try and heal. The pack could help me, and maybe I'd let them this time.

… I could actually feel Jacob's speechlessness as he thought it over, with feelings, silently. …you know, I think you're right, Em… He sighed.

About? I asked.

I need to get back… Being by myself isn't going to help, not this time… The pack will help, right? And we're both heartbroken werewolf best friends, so we'll help each other through it, right? He sounded a bit anxious, and back to sad.

Definitely. I slowed my pace as I neared the house. I stopped at the edge of the forest. So you're coming back? Jacob hesitated in his answer.

Yeah. I'm coming back.

I hesitated only a moment outside the door before barging in, maybe a bit more politely than that sounds. When I entered, whatever sounds of talking going on had stopped, and the pack looked up at me. Stony gazes, all of them, some impossibly more sympathetic than others. Maybe that's just because those were the faces I hoped were sympathetic instead of entirely angry. I looked up towards Sam, who kept an impassive front.

"I'm sorry," I said. The atmosphere in the room changed perceptively. Everyone's masks slipped, at least somewhat. I focused on Sam, who'd yet to show any trace of emotion—like usual—but whose eyes said he was listening. "I'm sorry—to all of you—for acting like…a little bitch, for lack of a better word. It was just…difficult. But I probably shouldn't have taken it out on you." I hung my head, suddenly afraid of their reactions. Now that I didn't have my anger to hide behind, I felt very vulnerable. I hated that feeling of vulnerability.

A hand clapped my back and my head snapped up. Sam. He let himself smile, sort of, and nodded.

"We understand. It isn't easy, losing—well, we understand." I nodded blankly, looking over at the rest of the wolves. Some of them didn't really mind one way or the other—they just looked a little relieved not to have to deal with the cranky Embry they'd seen the past few weeks. Others, like Jared, Quil, and Seth, knew my pain and felt pity, I'm sure. Quil offered a weak smile. Leah, on the other hand, narrowed her eyes minutely. I wasn't sure whether she was pissed off, or what, and I didn't really care what she was thinking at the moment—though I did wonder. Maybe she was pissed off that someone who lost their soul mate had stopped being bitter to the pack when she, who hadn't lost her imprint, was still a harpy. Either way, I felt sympathy for both her and I.

"We'll help you," said a voice to my left. Quil. I nodded again.

"Jacob's coming back," I blurted out. This received exclamations from everyone.

"What? He's coming back?" I nodded, again, to Quil's question. "How—?"

"Let's just say, we both had a bit of a wake-up call."

It was one of those days again. The days where it seems like life's just dragging on. I was sitting by the cliff again, my legs hanging over the edge, staring out at the churning ocean below. It was times like these that the pack left me alone. I might have apologized, and I might have realized it was only worse if I dwelled on the subject too much, but that didn't keep the hurt away. With each day, my longing for Jani grew worse and worse. At times, I would just block out all feeling, all emotion, all thought. It was easier. Less painful. But the numbness didn't make it any better, either.

Sometimes, I would dream. Jani would be there, and we would experience things we'd never gotten to. Once I even dreamt up how our wedding might've been. That made me feel even worse for a while. I spent most of my days in silence, or sleeping, where I could dream and relive memories of us. It sounds pathetic, and it sounds like something stereotypically only lovesick girls would do—but I couldn't find the will to care.

I missed Jani.

And Jacob was on his way back today, apparently having decided that he needed to see Bella one last time before she was turned into a bloodsucker—which we all knew was coming eventually. She and the leech—Edward—were getting married today. That's probably why I'd dreamt of Jani's and my wedding, how it might've been if we'd been given the chance to have one. I had to get my mind off things like that, though.

I stood up, overlooking the cliff and the frigid waves below. I wouldn't be able to feel the temperature, though—not like Jani could…

I reared back, then launched myself off the cliff. I arched into a swan dive, albeit a messy one. Quick as lightning, I cut through the water, plunging into the salty waves. For a moment, I faintly felt the sting of the impact, but it faded as soon as it came. I lingered under the surface of the water until my lungs burned, then hurriedly swam up to get air.

I swam to shore, then headed over to where I saw Emily, Kim, and Sue setting up tables and stuff. Some of the pack were around, too, placing logs and getting things ready for a bonfire we were having later on today. It was supposed to be a Congrats on coming to your senses! party for Jacob, and I guess for me, too. It was more than that, though. It was them showing us that they were here for us, and that they wanted us to get better. But while Jacob still has a solution, I don't.

Still, I probably shouldn't linger on that. My subconscious wants to, though, but I know I really shouldn't.

"Embry, can you help us out here?" Emily asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"What do you want me to do?" She and Kim were placing tablecloths over the few tables that were there. "And aren't you missing some tables?"

"That's what I need you to go get," Emily answered, spreading the plastic cover. She looked towards me, her scarred face, yet kind expression. "Can you go get a few more tables from the house? Oh, and bring the bags of chips, please, unopened."

"Sure, Em," I replied. She dropped the keys to Sam's truck in my hands.

"Don't open any of the bags of chips," she instructed, her expression fierce. "I'll know if you take any, because I counted them."

"Alright, alright," I muttered, raising my hands defensively. I offered a slight smile, though it felt fake, and headed towards where she always parked Sam's truck when there was a bonfire. Once at the wheel, I drove the black pickup to Emily's house, grabbed some tables from the shed in the backyard, and went into the house, straight for the kitchen. Sure enough, there were plastic bags full of bags of chips. I made a move for them, remembering that I couldn't open any. Not like I'd really have much of an appetite for it anymore. I wasn't eating as much as I used to since…well, yeah.

It was pretty quiet at Emily's house, for once. I guess because nobody was here, besides me, that is.

Just as I thought that, a door opened—the back door, I'm guessing—and there were frantic sounds of surprise and pain. I couldn't really distinguish them, but I stayed silent and immobile. Then I heard what they were saying, just as the door slammed shut.

"Are you okay? God, I'm sorry! I didn't mean—I mean, it's not like it's my fault, you know, but still."

That was Leah's voice. But who the heck would she be talking to like that? Not Seth—not anyone else in the pack. I made to move forward to find out when the other voice—the one who was panting and writhing in pain—spoke.

"Don't worry, Leah. I'll heal pretty quickly. It just hurts for now, but I'll be fine."

Every nerve in my body was alert and at attention. The hairs on the back of my neck rose, and a shiver ran down my spine. That voice…was feminine. I thudded towards the sound, to the living room where they now were, without caring that I was making my presence known.

Leah and her visitor looked up, and instantly I caught sight of—of someone who should've been dead.

"Jani!"

Alright, cliffy time!

Honestly, I'm not too happy with this chapter... I need to get into the mindset that is Embry, and I felt like this didn't do it justice... Those weeks without her were painful, and I felt like this was seriously downplayed... But whatever.

Is Jani back? What's going on? Why was "she" (if she's back) with Leah? What happened? HOW is she back (if it's even her)? Will Emily ever get those chips?

Review(:

~HunnyABee

[special thanks to Jazzy, who PMed me and actually motivated/inspired some of this]