Author's Note: Just to avoid confusion, this chapter is the same scene from the last chapter but from Darry's point of view.

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Chapter Two

Darry sat quietly in the living room, leafing through the paper. He avoided any articles about the war, reading any details about what a dangerous place his little brother was in just made him feel sick.

He was startled from an article about last night's big football game by a knock at the door. No one ever knocked on their door except for maybe social services but they weren't due to check up on them for another few months. After all this time they had begun checking up on them less and less. There was only one other reason he could think of for someone to knock on their door. That wasn't something he even wanted to consider though.

Darry set his newspaper aside and went to see who it was before he could wonder too much. As he opened the door his stomach dropped to somewhere around his feet. For half a second he thought he might pass out as his heart seemed to stop in its tracks and he had to remind himself to breath. He forced his face to remain blank as he stared down the man on the doorstep. There was no question as to why there would be a guy dressed head to foot in a military uniform knocking on their door on a Sunday afternoon. This was it. This was the news they had feared for these past eight months. From this moment on nothing would ever be the same. Darry knew all this without a doubt in that instant.

"Darrel Curtis?" the man said. Darry simply nodded, not trusting his own voice. "My name is Sergeant John Davin of the U.S. Army. I am very sorry to call on you like this and there is no easy way to say this. Sodapop Curtis was killed in action in Vietnam earlier this week." Darry had no reaction. He had known this was coming. He noticed the Sergeant's eyes flash over his shoulder like he had seen something behind him, but Darry didn't have the willpower at that moment to turn his head to look. "I'm so sorry," he went on. "I can tell you that it was quick and he didn't suffer."

Darry nodded again, his face grim. He supposed that was vaguely comforting, though it didn't really ease the feeling that the whole world was falling out from under him. The Sergeant held out his hand and after a moment of staring Darry realized that he was trying to hand him something. Darry mechanically reached out his own hand and the man gently placed a set of dog tags in his open palm. Darry closed his fist around them without reading them. He knew if he read the name on those dog tags he would lose it.

"Thank you," Darry finally managed, fighting to keep his voice as steady as possible. He refused to go to pieces in front of this stranger. "I appreciate you comin' down here like this." He wasn't quite sure that he actually did appreciate it, but it seemed like what he should say anyway.

"It's not a problem, sir," the man said seriously. "It's no less than those brave soldiers fighting over there deserve. Sodapop's service to his country was very much appreciated."

The brave soldiers you force to go over there, Darry thought bitterly. But he didn't voice his opinion. He knew that this was a new thing that the military did. It used to be if a loved one died during war the family would simple get an impersonal letter. At least this way it seemed like his brother's death warranted a little more effort from the U.S. Army then to just send out a form letter. No point in abusing the messenger anyway.

Sergeant Davin gave some sort of farewell, but Darry didn't really hear it. As the bearer of bad news walked away Darry slowly closed the door. As he turned he gave a start. He spotted Ponyboy hanging on to the doorframe between the hallway and the living room, almost doubled over as if he were in severe pain. After looking at him for a moment Darry felt a vague sense of relief. At least he wouldn't have to be the one to break the news to his youngest brother. It was painfully obvious he had heard the whole thing.

Darry just stood frozen for a moment, unsure what to do. There was nothing he could say to Pony to make him feel any better. He had been completely powerless to protect Soda while he had been in Vietnam, and now he was powerless to protect Pony from the pain of losing his brother.

"Pony," Darry finally said, forcing his voice out of his throat.

A moment later he watched Pony collapse to his knees on the floor, letting out a choked sob although there were no tears falling. Not yet anyway. Darry knew he had to be strong for Ponyboy. No matter what he was feeling right now, he still have one little brother left to take care of.

With Soda's dog tags still clutched tightly in his fist, Darry forced himself to walk forward and crouch down next to Pony, who seemed to be struggling just to breath. Darry didn't have the heart to tell him to calm down, that everything was going to be okay. Instead he simply placed a gentle hand on Pony's back just to let him know that he was there beside him. Immediately Pony lunged at him, almost knocking him over as the tears finally began to fall and he buried himself in Darry's t-shirt.

"Please no," Pony whimpered brokenly. Darry securely wrapped his arms around Pony and squeezed him closer, both for his brother's sake as well as his own. He needed Pony just as much as Pony needed him in that moment. "Please no, S-Soda. Not S-Sod-da."

Darry's heart broke as he listened to Pony's begging and he almost lost it right then. He took a deep breath in an attempt to steady himself as he settled himself into a more comfortable sitting position on the floor, gently pulling Pony with him as he leaned up against the wall behind him. He listened to his brother's broken sobs for at least an hour, though time seemed to be moving particularly slowly so it could have been longer. He couldn't help but think back to the last real conversation he had before Soda had shipped out.

Dinner was ready and Soda was nowhere to be found. This was odd for his brother, but Darry could certainly understand why his appetite might be off. Tomorrow morning he would be shipped off to boot camp and after that he would be sent to Vietnam to fight in a war he hardly knew anything about. That was enough to put anyone off their appetite.

Darry left Pony at the kitchen table as he went to look for Soda. He didn't like him skipping any meals. Also it would be their last meal as a family for at least a year. Darry hoped that he could at least convince Soda to come to the table with them and pretend to eat.

Quietly he pushed open the door to Pony and Soda's bedroom and found Soda sitting on the edge of the bed, staring down at a framed picture in his hand, a small duffle bag open beside him. It was odd seeing him with his short hair; he had cut it himself this morning to avoid the humiliation of the army doing it for him.

"Hey, Pepsi-Cola," Darry said gently. Soda didn't look up as Darry walked into the room. "It's time for dinner."

"Last meal…" Soda said dully, still staring down at the picture in his hands.

Darry sighed as he sat down on the bed next to his brother. He looked down at the picture that Soda was holding. It was an old family photo. Pony looked about six in the picture which would make Soda around eight and Darry himself around twelve. Pony had jumped onto Soda's back and they were both laughing. Darry was looking down at the two of them and was smiling lightly as he rolled his eyes. Both of their parents stood behind the three of them, grinning down at their three children. It was a very true portrait of their family.

"Takin' that with you?" Darry asked.

"I dunno," Soda said flatly. "It's a little bulky, might not be easy to carry around. I might not have room for it either."

Darry reached over and carefully took the picture out of Soda's hands. He turned the frame over and opened up the back compartment as Soda watched him. He took the photograph out and then folded it in half.

"You could tuck it into your boot or inside your helmet," Darry said as he slipped it into a side pocket of the duffle bag. "There's always room for this kind of thing."

"What if it gets ruined?" Soda asked.

Darry shook his head. "It doesn't matter," he said. "Just remember, your family is always with you." Soda nodded slightly. He had looked so lost in that moment. Darry put an arm around him and squeezed him. "It's gonna be okay, you know that right?"

Soda looked over at him, his fear betrayed in his eyes for the first time since he received his letter. "What if it's not?" he asked quietly.

"Listen, Soda," Darry said steadily. "You can get through this, I know you can. Just keep your head down and listen and follow orders. Just worry about keepin' yourself safe and you'll be okay, alright little buddy?"

Soda nodded. He took a deep breath and then leaned his head into Darry for comfort. "Thanks, Darry," he said.

He had lied to his little brother that day. He had no way of knowing that it was going to be okay. But he had to have hope or else he would have gone crazy. He knew that if Soda had believed that he was doomed from the beginning he never would have had a chance.

"Darry?"

Darry was startled out of his thoughts by Pony's small voice. He looked down at his youngest brother. His eyes were bloodshot and his cheeks stained with tears, but it seemed that he had stopped crying for the moment. He looked up at him curiously and Darry wondered what he was thinking. Should he say something to him? Try to comfort him somehow? Soda was always so much better at this kind of thing than he was, he realized with a sinking feeling.

"Love you, Darry," Pony said.

Darry squeezed his brother closer to him. "Love you too, kiddo," he said, hating the way his voice shook. He had to be strong for Pony. He had to.

"It… it's just not fair," Pony said, dropping his gaze as tears began forming in his eyes once more. "He… he didn't even wanna go."

Darry took in a shaky breath. He knew that all too well. He had comforted Soda the night before he left, tried to tell him that everything would be okay. Now he was gone forever. Now they would never see him again. His strength was failing as he was helpless to stop these thoughts from overwhelming him. He felt a few tears escape down his cheeks and he knew that he didn't have a chance of keeping this unbelievable grief at bay.

"I know," Darry said in a low voice. He shook his head as the tears began to fall more rapidly, giving up on any hope of holding himself together. As Pony began to sob again, Darry easily joined him, letting them dam break and feeling the weight of the situation crush him as he held his little brother close to him.

Why did they have to keep losing people that they loved?